Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
User submission
3K
“He Told Me I Should Grow Up”: Man Returns His Future Wife’s Dream Wedding Dress Unbeknownst To Her Because It “Was Wasting Money”
It’s no secret that wedding preparation can become a lethal cocktail for a conflict to blow up. Think of the amount of stress, pressure, and decision making that the bride and groom have to go through for what is known as the most important day in their lives. That definition alone is already a strain.
So this story comes from a 29-year-old woman who has been planning a wedding with her 33-year-old husband-to-be and it was going well until things turned sour. And the wedding dress was the cause of it.
“This might sound clichè but ever since I was young I dreamed of having my own beautiful wedding dress, I can afford it but my [soon to be husband] thinks it’s not okay to waste a couple of thousands on a dress I’m only going to wear once,” the author wrote in a post on r/AITA.
So imagine her coming home one day and realizing the dream wedding dress she had just purchased was missing from the closet. Let me leave you with the full story right below which made the author wonder if she was right in this whole situation at all.
RELATED:
Recently, a woman shared a story of how her husband-to-be took her dream wedding dress from the closet and returned it without saying anything
Image credits: Emma Bauso
Image credits: Kaboompics
There’s no right budget for the wedding dress, experts say. It all depends on your budget and priorities, so for one person, $1000 can be a splurge, while another would think of it as a bargain.
But according to The Knot Real Weddings Study, which surveyed over 15,000 couples who got married last year, the average wedding dress cost in 2021 was $1,800. Moreover, buying a new dress for the occasion remains the most popular option for to-be-weds, with 93% purchasing a new design instead of renting one.
It’s important to note that the average wedding dress cost varies by region. According to The Knot, spend in the Mid-Atlantic was over $2,000, while in the Midwest, an average wedding dress cost about $1,600. Interestingly, wedding venues also contribute to the average cost of a wedding dress. It turns out that individuals tend to spend less on a dress for a hometown wedding, while those who hosted an international destination celebration spent over $2,000 on their look.
And this is what people had to say about this whole situation
259Kviews
Share on FacebookExplore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Cold Contagious 3 years ago
It will only escalate from here. She needs to escape now! Make him think she'll rent a dress, get her money back, and go.
Barbara Kayton 3 years ago
I don't know if OP will see this, but these are enormous, neon-blinking red flags. He has committed theft in an effort to control you, and is disparaging what you do. You are not married yet. It is really easy to miss/overlook/unconsciously assume it will all work out in this relationship phase. We need to be taught, I think, how to discuss important issues and understand consequences as a society, instead of being fed the illusion of happily-ever-after-marriages. Are you on the same page in regards to finances? How to discuss and resolve issues? Relationships with friends and family? Having or not having a family? Where you will live and what your life goals are? How you treat and respect each other - and other people in general? Driving habits, words, how people treat others, explanations of past relationships can reveal a lot - but when we are in love, headed towards marriage, we have a huge blind spot. Listen to what others say they see, and consider what they are saying.
Anna Banana 3 years ago
In my country a lot of people go for a church wedding because it's traditional and fancy. But in order to do that, the couple must go through mandatory counselling sessions with a priest or other church representative. Most of my friends aren't religious, but everyone who did it says that it's been really good, because those are exactly the things they are encouraged to discuss. I have a complicated relationship with the church (to put it mildly) but this, apparently, is one of the things they really get right. Of course, my friends all carefully chose specific, relatively liberal, places to do this.
Load More Replies...
Rose the Cook 3 years ago
Don't worry about the loss of the dress, you won't need it when you show him the door.You can get another when you find a decent man to marry.
Peta Hurley-Hill 3 years ago
The poor girl needs to run a mile from this control freak and his Mummy a.s.a.p.That being said,he still owes her HER $2000.What he did is theft.
Load More Replies...
Carol Emory 3 years ago (edited)
Don't get into that mindset of "I must be doing something to make him act this way." That's what victims of abuse do. Get out of this relationship while you can. Other people suggested counseling, but I would just sever ties altogether. Let me put it this way...Is his mother going to dictate when you should have kids, how many, how you raise them? Is he going to nitpick and track every dime you spend? These people are controlling. And my next question...how would he and mom react if it had been your family paying for the dress instead of you? Is this about the cost of the dress or controlling you? And if he's tight with money on this special day...what will his tight wad behavior be when you want to do something special for yourself or for your kids? Run, honey! While you still can!
Amanda Childs 3 years ago
Yes couples counselling doesn't work with narcissistic people especially if he is good at guilt tripping and seeming all calm and circumspect but is just an act for others. He is not a man but a control freak who thinks he owns her and she cannot allow it to continue. She must go to him and say this is my wedding and my money and if this is how you treat me now it will only get worse. he must return what he stole. The fact he says he is concerned about HIS future security and NOT THEIR future security means he can see a future WITHOUT HER!!! Huge red flag and they tell on themselves. He thinks only of himself and his point of view. This man is not going to get better about finances and sees it all as his money once you are married, heck he sees it that way now! She should find a man who wants to give her the world (but she doesn't even ask it) and not one who wants to take away her dreams for his personal future security and at her own cost.
Load More Replies...
Mary Rogers 3 years ago
I don't know if I personally would spend that much but it is her money. They aren't married yet, this isn't a joint expense. Big red flag, not only on his controlling behavior and basically stealing from her. But also indicative of probable incompatibility in terms of how to deal with money. At the very least they should put the wedding on hold and get premarital counseling. But frankly, after having dealt with an extremely controlling family myself, I would consider his behavior to be too abusive to even continue the relationship.
similarly 3 years ago
Mary and Anna, I agree with you both. For me, the fact that the guy's mom got involved his a huge red flag.
Load More Replies...
BonnyDK 3 years ago
NTA---He disrespected you in so many ways. You are not married yet. It is your money not from a joint account. He is holding on to it??? Hell no. He is treating you like a child only to the tune of thousands. I would have demanded the money back or there would have been no discussion at all except with the police. He stole your dream wedding and thought nothing about it. And then brought is mother into the argument! Run! He plans on controlling you like a captive. That is what you will be and already are.
Haley Montgomery 3 years ago
My wife found the perfect dress. She was incredibly unsure about it because it cost $2000. I found my dress for $500. But I didn't choose my dress because it was $500 I chose it because I loved it. I drove her 2 hours back to the shop that she found it during her trip with her mom and encouraged her to buy the dress that would make her feel the most beautiful. I would NEVER dream of selling something so special. Girl, he needs to go.
Margrete Sonnenberg 3 years ago
Here's a solution. Don't get married to him and then report him for stealing.
MimSorensson 3 years ago
I’d even say that’s THE solution. Actually the ONLY solution.
Load More Replies...
Crispy Toast 3 years ago
Nope. Nope. Nope. Guy is a control freak with a big case of the Mommy knows best.
UpQuarkDownQuark 3 years ago
Their finances are not shared, and they aren’t married. This man has stolen thousands of dollars from her.
Diane Knight 3 years ago
He didn't steal it alone, the bridal shop enabled that ACT, they needed to hold the money til the BRIDE came to retrieve the funds. The 'contract' was with the purchaser not the HTB. He over stepped and so did the shop.
Load More Replies... Cold Contagious 3 years ago
It will only escalate from here. She needs to escape now! Make him think she'll rent a dress, get her money back, and go.
Barbara Kayton 3 years ago
I don't know if OP will see this, but these are enormous, neon-blinking red flags. He has committed theft in an effort to control you, and is disparaging what you do. You are not married yet. It is really easy to miss/overlook/unconsciously assume it will all work out in this relationship phase. We need to be taught, I think, how to discuss important issues and understand consequences as a society, instead of being fed the illusion of happily-ever-after-marriages. Are you on the same page in regards to finances? How to discuss and resolve issues? Relationships with friends and family? Having or not having a family? Where you will live and what your life goals are? How you treat and respect each other - and other people in general? Driving habits, words, how people treat others, explanations of past relationships can reveal a lot - but when we are in love, headed towards marriage, we have a huge blind spot. Listen to what others say they see, and consider what they are saying.
Anna Banana 3 years ago
In my country a lot of people go for a church wedding because it's traditional and fancy. But in order to do that, the couple must go through mandatory counselling sessions with a priest or other church representative. Most of my friends aren't religious, but everyone who did it says that it's been really good, because those are exactly the things they are encouraged to discuss. I have a complicated relationship with the church (to put it mildly) but this, apparently, is one of the things they really get right. Of course, my friends all carefully chose specific, relatively liberal, places to do this.
Load More Replies... Rose the Cook 3 years ago
Don't worry about the loss of the dress, you won't need it when you show him the door.You can get another when you find a decent man to marry.
Peta Hurley-Hill 3 years ago
The poor girl needs to run a mile from this control freak and his Mummy a.s.a.p.That being said,he still owes her HER $2000.What he did is theft.
Load More Replies... Carol Emory 3 years ago (edited)
Don't get into that mindset of "I must be doing something to make him act this way." That's what victims of abuse do. Get out of this relationship while you can. Other people suggested counseling, but I would just sever ties altogether. Let me put it this way...Is his mother going to dictate when you should have kids, how many, how you raise them? Is he going to nitpick and track every dime you spend? These people are controlling. And my next question...how would he and mom react if it had been your family paying for the dress instead of you? Is this about the cost of the dress or controlling you? And if he's tight with money on this special day...what will his tight wad behavior be when you want to do something special for yourself or for your kids? Run, honey! While you still can!
Amanda Childs 3 years ago
Yes couples counselling doesn't work with narcissistic people especially if he is good at guilt tripping and seeming all calm and circumspect but is just an act for others. He is not a man but a control freak who thinks he owns her and she cannot allow it to continue. She must go to him and say this is my wedding and my money and if this is how you treat me now it will only get worse. he must return what he stole. The fact he says he is concerned about HIS future security and NOT THEIR future security means he can see a future WITHOUT HER!!! Huge red flag and they tell on themselves. He thinks only of himself and his point of view. This man is not going to get better about finances and sees it all as his money once you are married, heck he sees it that way now! She should find a man who wants to give her the world (but she doesn't even ask it) and not one who wants to take away her dreams for his personal future security and at her own cost.
Load More Replies... Mary Rogers 3 years ago
I don't know if I personally would spend that much but it is her money. They aren't married yet, this isn't a joint expense. Big red flag, not only on his controlling behavior and basically stealing from her. But also indicative of probable incompatibility in terms of how to deal with money. At the very least they should put the wedding on hold and get premarital counseling. But frankly, after having dealt with an extremely controlling family myself, I would consider his behavior to be too abusive to even continue the relationship.
similarly 3 years ago
Mary and Anna, I agree with you both. For me, the fact that the guy's mom got involved his a huge red flag.
Load More Replies... BonnyDK 3 years ago
NTA---He disrespected you in so many ways. You are not married yet. It is your money not from a joint account. He is holding on to it??? Hell no. He is treating you like a child only to the tune of thousands. I would have demanded the money back or there would have been no discussion at all except with the police. He stole your dream wedding and thought nothing about it. And then brought is mother into the argument! Run! He plans on controlling you like a captive. That is what you will be and already are.
Haley Montgomery 3 years ago
My wife found the perfect dress. She was incredibly unsure about it because it cost $2000. I found my dress for $500. But I didn't choose my dress because it was $500 I chose it because I loved it. I drove her 2 hours back to the shop that she found it during her trip with her mom and encouraged her to buy the dress that would make her feel the most beautiful. I would NEVER dream of selling something so special. Girl, he needs to go.
Margrete Sonnenberg 3 years ago
Here's a solution. Don't get married to him and then report him for stealing.
MimSorensson 3 years ago
I’d even say that’s THE solution. Actually the ONLY solution.
Load More Replies... Crispy Toast 3 years ago
Nope. Nope. Nope. Guy is a control freak with a big case of the Mommy knows best.
UpQuarkDownQuark 3 years ago
Their finances are not shared, and they aren’t married. This man has stolen thousands of dollars from her.
Diane Knight 3 years ago
He didn't steal it alone, the bridal shop enabled that ACT, they needed to hold the money til the BRIDE came to retrieve the funds. The 'contract' was with the purchaser not the HTB. He over stepped and so did the shop.
Load More Replies... You May Like “Spiritual Awakening”: 49 People Who Canceled Their Wedding Last Minute Explain What Happened Woman Makes SIL Taste Her Own Medicine When It’s Her Turn To Get Married Man’s Rant About Girlfriend Eating All The Food Backfires After He Mentions Her Weight
Gabija Palšytė
Justinas Keturka
Mindaugas Balčiauskas
Related on Bored Panda
146
284