Male Relatives Decide To Test Future In-Law’s “Manliness”, Are Livid When They Get Uninvited From The Wedding Instead
Every family has their own ways of letting a new person into the circle. But these four male family members have surely crossed the line in getting to know their in-law. The story was shared by a 22-year-old female on r/AITA who “grew up in a family where men prank and tease each other.”
But ever since the author got engaged with her fiance Tim, her cousin, brother, dad and uncle started running the “tests to see what type of man Tim is.” Every test was more twisted than the previous one, and it all led to their final ordeal that shocked not only the author but the entire internet. No wonder she blew up and decided to uninvite them from their wedding.
Read below to see what happened and be sure to share your thoughts on this whole situation in the comment section.
Recently, a woman shared how her dad, brother, uncle and cousin have been pulling pranks on her future husband to see what a man he is, until one such challenge went too far
Image credits: NIAID (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Jack Sharp (not the actual photo)
And this is how people reacted to this whole situation
If an asthmatic person has an asthma attack and doesn’t have their rescue inhaler available, it’s best to call 911. Especially if the person has any of the following symptoms: their symptoms continue to get worse even after treatment; they can’t speak except in short words or phrases; they’re straining their chest muscles in an effort to breathe; their shortness of breath or wheezing is severe; they feel drowsy or tired; their lips or face appear blue when they’re not coughing. Other things they should do are to sit up straight, stay calm, steady their breathing, and move away from triggers.
Others pointed out that it may be the author’s fault for not shutting down the toxic members of her family earlier
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The irony of them moaning about him getting his missus to help fight his battles whilst them running to her mom to see if she'll help them with theirs.
Holy mother-forking shirtballs! No wonder she's sought advice on the internet - her family has normalised the most toxic of masculine behaviours so she doesn't realise that what her family is doing is SOCIOPATHIC. She is kinda the AH for letting it go on so long, but since she clearly doesn't have a normal benchmark to recognise that, is she fully to blame for not addressing it sooner? To be honest, I really wonder what it is about her that has made Timmy stick around as long as he has. None of this is pranking. All of it is bullying.
Ikr, when a person's family is obviously so disturbing that they don't have a proper gage for what is normal behavior, it's disheartening. The men in family are vile loathsome creatures, and the women who live with them are SUS. OP needs to get some therapy to deprogram her brain against her learned behaviors from home and learn new techniques and positive behavior skills. Her fiancé could likely use some therapy also to help him heal from the torment and disruptive behavior of her family members. I feel so horrible for what he's been through.
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What an horrible horrible family that is. Slashing tires "as a prank"? F**k them. I would involve some authorities on them and make them pay the damage they had done.
My thoughts exactly: "horrible, horrible." I know they're family but I wouldn't want these toxic, awful people in my life. My recommendation: move away to the furthest point in the country. That's what I did!
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Blame on the family, but also on the girl herself. I have a racist a*****e family that loves to bully around others, and I'd never even consider letting any friend or boyfriend I have get near to them, let alone leaving them alone with someone I know. Girl should cut ties with her family and run as far as she can, these men are toxic - I'd have already kicked their asses the time they slashed his tires, if not already way before.
She is pretty young keep in mind and she is now cutting them out of her life. I stuck by my racist family until my mid-20s before I excluded them completely. 22 means she is barely out of the house. These are the only people she has been around and was raised by. I haven't spoken to 99% of my family in about 15 years but when you are in your early 20s is when you introduce outside people to your family and start to really notice how terrible they are. I would say she is right on track. Don't be too hard on her over it.
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That escalated fast! From prank, to criminal damage, to attempted murder. And he shouldn't worry about driving a wedge between her and her family. The family did that all on their own. What happens if they go on to have a son (because apparently they have a thing about their idea of masculinity) and he has asthma or a peanut allergy? She needs to take her fiancé and move several states away and then get therapy because she apparently didn't see anything wrong with their behaviour until they tried to kill him, which means growing up in that atmosphere has severely warped her ideas of what are pranks and what is abusive behaviour.
Yes, and I would hardly call being "forced" to play chess a prank. Though that might be because I like to play chess 😄
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Asthmatic here as well a my 2 sisters. THAT IS NOT A PRANK..That is a sure fire way of killing someone if they are a chronic asthmatic. Agree that the O.P. let this go on way too long. Slashing tires?! Not only would I terminate the relationship with the entire family INCLUDING the fiancé, but would file a report with the police. Both seem to be too young even get married.
didn't something similar happen at a school? except the school took it away, and the child died because he didn't have his inhaler.
Did that really happen? If that was my kid I would sue the person(s) responsible to oblivion! And this is coming from a German. We do not sue left right and center.
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Pranking means everyone laughs. You can't laugh if you can't breathe. Not a prank. Cruel. End of. Run, girl, run. I ran. No regrets.
Would they have hidden his insulin? His seizure meds? His blood pressure meds? ( If he took these, I'm saying) they should have both kicked butt out of the gate. They wanted to test they have a result. Busted family. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
These aren't pranks, they're hazing. There's a reason it's illegal in most places. It's toxic masculinity at its finest, and these men were the assholes before they even thought about taking the inhaler.
They should try hazing cops to see if they're manly enough to arrest them for vandalism, mischief, and attempted manslaughter.
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Sounds like she needs to choose between her family and her fiance, because there is no way she can have a relationship with both.
Were I the boyfriend, I'd be having second thoughts about the whole thing.
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I feel sorry for your man. He should be given space and reconsider does he really need you and the family in his life for rest of the life. This is criminal and dangerous. I cannot believe this is a prank, testing future husband? I'd say hypothetically if your male relatives would have experienced any health issues your man could easily say they are lazy and leave them to it. Hiding inhaler can be fatal. I can't believe this is even a discussion. I would have gotten restraining orders. Also mum saying bygones be bygones is toxic on same level as family telling not to discuss what happens in the family. Abusive, controlling, humiliation, getting off and creating discomfort and hurt to other human being. So many things happened that should have been stopped at the beginning yet it just got worse for him not to you or anyone in your family. I'd be deeply embarrassed for my family and let the man go find a better woman who stands up first time. He could have died!!!
They slashed his tires that makes them all @$$holes alone. But to steal (or hide) someone's emergency medical equipment that's F#&*ed up beyond belief. Personally I think the fiancee should have made a police report about the inhaler. And I'm with the bride stay strong and keep them off the guest list
NTA - BUT, move as far away from your family as you can get AFTER filing police reports about the intentional property damage, & especially the attempted voluntary manslaughter! Don't even talk to any of them ever again, & do NOT EVER trust ANY of them again, even your mother, who is siding with them, & should also be uninvited if she continues to try to change your mind about uninviting those awful & sickening men! These guys are sociopathic & dangerous! What if you & Tim would have male children? If Tim still wants to marry you, then you must cut ties & get the hell away from your sadistic family from hillbilly hell. What do Tim's family members think of all this massively sadistic bullying & hazing of their son???
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NTA. If I was Timmy I'd tell them to F off and never go out to do things with them ever again. Who cares if they think he's soft or whatever. At that point what's Timmy trying to prove? He's marrying her not them.
I would've run a mile before it even got that far. Slashing his tires, wtf? I hate when people justify shitty behaviour with "it was just a joke!". Her family are a bunch of dickheads.
Have fiance hit father in the head with a glass bottle. When he yells for help call him soft.
So, lemme get this straight: these guys act like little children picking on the new kid at school ... to see how MANLY he is? And put his HEALTH at risk as well as cost him hundreds of dollars...? Forget about the wedding, I would have stopped talking to them years before. What horrible people they are.
I would have called the cops on my own father if he "jokingly" slashed my boyfriends tires. I'd also never speak to him again. No seeing your grandchildren. No chance for forgiveness. Good riddance assholes. I'm so sorry.
If you slash my tires as a "prank", your car will have an up close and personal encounter with my S&W Model 29.
Load More Replies... "Soft college kid", yes because the way to make it in the modern world as a man is by being the toughest caveman around. What a sad little group of chip-on-the-shoulder underachievers.
How horrible. Slashing tires would have been the line for me if I had even been able to make it that far. I would have also stopped contact with those family members if I was the girl. They are horrible people and tried to ruin her happiness by bullying and abusing her partner. How did she allow it to continue to the point of "let's take his inhaler?"
Life is hard enough as it is, and it puts us on the test constantly. There should be no need to set up extra problems for people in order to test their character. That kind of behaviour is not testing, it is harasment ment to drive your fiancy out of their lives. People that are not trying to help, but instead actively make your life more difficult, is not worth socialising with. Someone ought to have told them so long time ago, as they do not have the bride-to-be's best interest at heart.
I am a lifelong asthmatic and this is not "pranking", this is multiple attempts at trying to kill someone. This young man could have died without his inhaler. There must be something really amazing about her for him to put up with this for this long. These men are not manly, they are a group of middle school kids that haven't grown up yet. If I was her, I would get away from this insanity and fast.
Seriously messed up . I didn't read anything I'd regard as a prank . The men in that family are below assholes .... way below . Slashed tyres or just deflated ? Slashed is just vandalism ... nothing prank-like in that . I could go on but no need ... everyone can see they're a bunch of d***s .
This family is a nightmare. I set the precedent a long time ago that my husband comes first- you mess with him, you have to deal with me. If it's MY family pulling this s**t, I would come UNGLUED. An attack on my partner is an attack on me. Same for my husband and his family. What a bunch of A-holes
I picked up on the "soft 'college' boy". Sounds like some that awful, dangerous behavior is internalized jealousy and resentment, not "making sure he's good enough for our sister/daughter/cousin".
NTA, and please for the love of God, do not let any of these men around any of your future children either.
wth-this is NOT ok and I hate how the boys in the family are being like"iTs jUsT A pRAnK BrO"
If they finally mange to kill the guy, they won't be invited to a wedding anyway....they'll be attending a funeral. They're a bit old to learn that actions have consequences, but don't blame yourself for showing them that this is indeed true.
...........vandalism as a prank ?...........just wow girl, just wow................
As a registered nurse for over 40 years, I have seen patients with asthma DIE from not having access to their inhalers. This is absolutely and unequivocally CRIMINAL! Beyond disinviting these bullies from her wedding, her fiancé should bring criminal charges against these sad excuses for men! Slashing tires? Depending on the vehicle, this could have cost Tim anywhere from $200 to over $2000 to replace! CRIMINAL! Stealing and hiding an inhaler from someone who suffers from asthma? CRIMINAL! When criminals commit crimes, they should do the time. Plain and simple. Jail time, including restitution for damaged property, anguish and severe anxiety, sounds like an adequate sentence for CRIMINALS!
I'm sorry wait what?! Slashing his tires wasn't the point at which she confronted this nonsense and put a stop to it?!? That is completely insane behavior and not cool. Asking questions about "what kind of man you are" and teasing is frankly already annoying and d0uchey enough, but harmless. Slashing tires is unacceptable and horrible. Stranding someone in the woods without medical supplies they need is inhumane and malicious. The husband deserves better than the entire family imo, her included for letting them do any of it.
Toxic masculinity does not care what sex you are, it just wants to bully you
This woman’s family sound like total arseholes. Best to ditch them while you can. Who needs this nonsense. The idea that you stick to family no matter what is absolute horseshit. I’ve broken ties with much of my family and do not regret it for a second. Who needs people like that - related or not.
The Fiancé is marrying into a clanish, spartan family. They think the good guys won in the movie "Deliverance". They exist all over the world. Fiancé and future wife have to figure our how to manage.
Pranking is the absolute worst excuse for a**ho*** and abusers. It is so ridiculous. These non-humans should be shunned. Gross
Your family are a bunch of bullies and enablers. As for your male relatives losing respect for Tim, they should be more concerned about how you and Tim have lost respect for them and how that will translate in you going no contact.
Honestly if people put the life of the person I love in danger, knowingly and with no good reason, they would be uninvited from my life.
This is what they call "toxic masculinity" which is usually a cover for massive insecurity. I get really pissed how movies and TV portray people with asthma. They always portray them having to use an inhaler as "weakness" and show them doing it completely wrong and in an annoying manner whenever they get stressed. And when the character finally "mans" up the somehow no longer seem to have asthma. Those writers need to die and burn in hell.
I'd not only uninvite them from my wedding, I'd no longer consider them my family. F#ck bullies.
I got one paragraph in before it was blatantly obvious NOT the ahole. That ladies family are a bunch of effin jackasses. Secretly slashed his tires? That's not funny! I cannot stand "pranking families" because it's just another way of saying "yep we're all assholes"
This should be a hill to die on. So-called men who assault another man and call it a prank are doing what is called "Hazing" and it is not only illegal, but a moral failure. Your male relatives are weaklings who only beat someone up when they're in a gang. I'm just surprised he didn't shoot someone in self-defense at this point.
I don't think things will improve after the wedding, they will probably blame him (the fiance) for the trouble they themselves caused, I'm afraid of what they might do or maybe I'm being paranoid.
You are TA for letting them do all this, not for uninviting them. You seriously let them slash his tires? What kind of family is this?
I agree with the comment that she let it go on for far too long. I'd have keept them far far away from me and the hubby after the tire slashing. That is not a prank, that is serious, as is hiding an inhaler. What a toxic family. And leting bygone things be gone only works if they don't keep doing the same s**t over and over - which they did.
This is toxic bullying, escalating to criminal damage (tires). The inhaler theft could put his health at risk, and what if he had had a severe asthma attack without immediate access to his inhaler? He literally could have died. Good on him for having the sense to remove himself from the situation.
A close friend of mine died because he had such severe asthma that it affected his heart and there was nothing, they could do to save him from his last major asthma attack. They are a danger to society. There pranks were far from funny. He needs to run as fast as he can away from all of them.
Since when are straight up vandalism and stealing a disabled person's support device "pranks"? These are CRIMES
Wow. Those assholes are really over-compensating for low self-esteem and/or other issues or something. Seriously, who calls all that toxic b******t 'pranks'? It sounds like they need constant validation about their manhood by putting other people down. But, sure, Tim is the 'soft' one.
These "men" have obviously never had to fight rising panic while also trying to control their limited breathing.
Jesus, what a bunch of toxic a**holes. They're hazing the guy like the guy is pledging a fraternity.
"dad said this is just typical stuff men challenge each other with" - I dealt with macho assholes at one job (no lethal pranks, but viewing porn in an open office was one of the nasty displays of "manliness"). One time, I told my husband about them and half-joked, "You're not a real man. Thank goodness."
Took me till I was like 25 before I started pushing back against some family members. When you're a kid it's not easy to stand up to bullies, especially when you aren't psychologically literate and they gaslight you. Good for her for seeing how toxic they are and making a decision. In my case, the offenders were simply excommunicated for a year till they stopped being assholes.
I grew up with three brothers and a bunch of boy cousins, and have several uncles. I am auntie to one niece. All the other kids/stepkids that my siblings raised are men. None of them have pulled this s**t. ZERO. The OP here just has a family full of buttheads, pure and simple.
What if you have a kid and it's a boy? What if Baby takes after dad and is not a hunter or fisherman. They will absolutely torment him. Stick up for your future husband. He's going to be your support, love and partner for (hopefully) the rest of your life. Maybe your family will come to their senses, but if not, it's their loss.
If her family members have been doing this sort of thing for years I'm surprised something tragic hasn't already happened.
If you want your marriage to last, get away from these people, and STAY away from them. They are NEVER going to respect your marriage. They don't respect YOU or they wouldn't have treated your fiance like they did. And ppl like them do not change because they don't see anything wrong with their behavior. The fact that they felt it was ok to vandalize his car and jeopardize his life is proof they aren't REAL men. A man that is confident doesn't victimize others. I'm sure you're looked down on because your female. If you can't let your toxic bullying family go, let the fiance go. If you love him you won't make him choose between the woman he loves and the respect he deserves. The peaceful wonderful life with you will NEVER happen If they are allowed in your life. If i we're him i would have already left you. This being your father, he will never change or stop no matter what he says. Some s****y AH men.
They could have murdered him by doing that. I partially blame the many movies and shows that make fun of asthmatics by showing them using it as some sort of a crutch when they're stressed. It's always some chubby kid or a nerd. And then there are the ones where someone gets them to calm down and the asthma goes away - like it's a psychological condition.
NTA That is horrible, dangerous, mean spirited, childish behavior! Unbelievable!!!
I know the type, I live in Georgia and these type of redneck bullies are the norm. It's ridiculous and I had to go through something similar when I was 19 dating a girl from "the sticks" as they call it. I was going to medical school and they always called me college boy, they always had some stupid challenge or would try to overwhelm me with stupid riddles and stupid games like "ok look directly at me and copy everything I do ok." they they do all these stupid things like waving their arms and etc, and plops down in a chair behind him but secretly put a big mouse trap contraption on my chair. So when I sit in the chair it would clamp on me. But luckily I was smart enough to look before I sat and they blamed me for ruining the fun. It all came to a head finally when they wanted me to come to their hunting cabin in the middle of nowhere and left me there for 3 days with no food and there definitely wasn't any cell service.
So hiding the one thing that could save his life if he were to have an asthma attack, is a prank and what, if he died it's because he's a "soft college kid"? The "men" in your family sound like total AHs. I'm assuming that all of the male relatives you mentioned were bullies at school? They still are based on what you described. What utterly repugnant behaviour. When THEY slashed HIS tyres, did they cover the cost, or would that have been soft too? They don't deserve to be included in your wedding, f**k 'em. I'm glad you didn't turn out to be a profound prick like all of them.
NTA medical afflictions no matter the severity are awful. Same scenario happened with my Wife. She's been allergic to shellfish all her life. People at her work thought she was just overdoing it, and put shrimp in a pasta dish at a company potluck. She had a reaction, went into shock, and spent a few days in the hospital. People are asshats. Unfortunately, seems like the men in your family are all afflicted with this problem. Good luck.
"They've done stuff like forcing him to play chess 4 times in a row, secretly slashed his tires" 😲 That escalated quickly!
If I was your fiance, I'd probably not marry in to your family. Imagine if you have a son and how he'll be treated someday? Sounds to me that they actually feel intimidated by his education. I could not imagine putting up with frat boy antics for the rest of my life! You may need to make a decision to permanently cut them off to be happy.
who slashes tires as a prank unless you own a tireshop and replace them for free
Let this be the hill you die on. They were bullying, plain and simple. And the fact that they pulled the family card let's you that they know they are wrong but don't want to admit it so they're trying to guilt you. Stick to your guns. Not only is this bullying but it sounds like it would continue if you net and married someone else. Then that toxic masculinity would be passed to a new generation. "Testing manliness", just bullsh!!t. They set that bar and they could raise it whenever they saw fit. I could even attempt to charge them for misdemeanors for the slashed tires and perhaps a higher charge for hiding his asthma inhaler. He could have had an asthma attack and struggling to breathe while they stood around trying to see if he'd figure it out on his own. My dad has asthma, going without his inhaler for half a day would result in his death. I don't know the severity of Tims asthma, but it's something for his health and they prevented him from having it. That could be accidental manslaughter.
I'm glad other people called her out on her complacency until it got deadly. She should have blown up on them when they slashed the poor man's tires!!! I don't know that she deserves to be left, but she certainly needs to figure out if her family is the type of people she really wants around. God forbid they have a boy in the future and that boy wants to be anything but a backwoodsman who eats nails and drinks gasoline, (figuratively OR literally in the case of these jerkwads) he will be told on all four sides to grow a pair and become bullying a$shole too.
Have Timmy take a baseball bat to their cars and then laugh at them when they can't fix it themselves
"he lost the little respect" i would've said "and you lost all of my respect for you, dad".
My dad died because he did not have medicine with him when it was needed. My stepdad nearly died because of one of the astma attacks. He was in the garage and had no inhaler with him (he forgot it in the bathroom). Both mom and I were in the house and could not hear him. You NEVER hide anyones medicine.
They probably watched too much It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, that is an awful show. I never understood it, what they call pranks on that show I would kill ppl for it. To bad OP have not answered to that lost respect comment with " Who the actual f would care about a freaking moronic caveman's respect, your respect is absolutely worthless, to me or my husband. Oh, and on the next idiotic prank the police will be involved."
I agree with the comments that mention that she should not have let things go as far as they did in the first place. Her family is clearly toxic. She and her fiance need to discuss their entire relationship to her family and all of the crap she allowed them to do to him. If they are planning on having children, they shouldn't be exposed to this dangerous behavior. From the adults or from children.
I dunno. They actually slashed his tires? “Men” like these claim to be don’t piiss money away. Not sure about that one.
Got nothing to do with the wedding. I think the guy should run far and v v fast. Your family men are criminals. At best wolves. Are they gray, artic, timber brown or black BTW? If I were ur guy I'd start looking for a human female. I don't wanna raise no animals.
This is the same mindset as those that say allergies don't exist!.... Imagine if they get married and have a child,a boy,and he has a severe allergy to peanuts..... What are they gonna do then when he's older ???"Oh he's just being a sissy and we need to teach him to be a man????"How stupid can people be with medical conditions?!?!
Yeah no, cut them out of your life completely until they completely change if they ever do. They’re dangerous bullies that have been poisoned with toxic masculinity and are using that poison to harm and poison others.
When I was late teens, early twenties, I was engaged to a woman who's family was about the same way. No matter what I did, it was never good enough for their daughter/sister. They would have me do all the s**t work while they watched. Or they would invite me hunting and leave me at night with no idea where the hell I was at. Eventually, I started doing things that impressed them. Like managing to find my way back to the dad's truck and drive it (a 3 on the tree shift) around till I found them walking down the road with their dogs. All the things they did were crappy without a doubt. But I never let them know or think they got the best if me, and I ended up beating them at their own game.
YZOU should not have even validated them, by playing their game, & by their rules. After finding them on the road with their dogs, I'd have driven past them, horn honking & driven all the way back home with the truck & put it in the owner's garage, called The fiance to come get me, then packed up & left that family (fiance welcome to come with, or not).
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She really is TA here for letting this crap happen in the first place. No way she doesn't know about the kind of "pranks" they pull on one another in her family. She clearly sought out a different kind of man than the ones she's been raised with, at the very least she should have warned the fiance about what he was walking into when meeting these animals and should have absolutely put her foot down the second this s**t started. No way I'd have ever let my partner be subjected to the very same abuse that I, myself, am trying to run away from. My mom has abused me since I was a child and I worked hard to keep my husband away from her crap. I'm very lucky that he took the opportunity to let her know that not only will he not stand for it but he won't let her do it to me, either. He whisked me out of her house and brought me to live with him that same day and ironically, it gained my mom's respect 🙄 Wonder if the same would have happened here had they done it, too.
If I were Tim, I'd cancel the wedding. The OP sounds spineless and unable to stand up to the toxic bullies, and who wants to marry into that mess? I hope he has someone in his life to talk some sense into him. He is marrying into abuse.
It's pretty toxic to leave someone just because they are a bit of a pushover. Also, she stood up well against her a*****e family and shielded him from more abuse.
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YTA, for allowing the abuse from the start. Knowing how deranged her family has been yet still letting him go on a day trip with them. Big deal they aren't invited to the wedding. Here is a huge surprise for her--hardly anyone cares about attending a wedding Especially men. If they are upset about missing a wedding they are not very manly. A great deal of women don't enjoy attending weddings as well. Who cares? There is a good chance this expensive production of Queen for a Day will end in divorce anyway. It's sad that one or both people are so desperate for attention that they will waste or go in debt to impress family and friends that they expect others to show up out of guilt to show up and could not care less about your wedding. The money spent/wasted could have been a down payment on a home, paid for student loans or an amazing honeymoon or vacation. Nobody will care or remember your gown, your color choices, your flowers, your boring choice of meals, the DJ/band, dumb speeches e
Wow, I am surprised your fiancé is still willing to see you. Slashing tires is vandalism not prancing. Bullying in the name pranking is bullying him. But withholding a real medical device is torture, not pranking. Clearly your male family members don't like their future in-law, weakling, slow "college kid". Seem to have a chip on their shoulder about educated people, until they are in trouble and need a educated and smart lawyer. Young lady if you really love this man, elope, and get away from your toxic family as far as possible, and enjoy your future together without the toxic baggage of your family.
Tim should definitely reflect on these outrageous and treacherous actions, why it took so long for his fiancé to retaliate, and simply move on. She’s just as toxic as her family. How can she not be toxic having glazed over such criminal minded behavior only demanding them verbally to cease? These occurrences are major red flags starting with Tim’s fiancé letting it all escalate so far to life threatening acts. She nor her family are worth such torment and distress. Tim, if you’re by any chance reading this, move on NOW while you still have a fighting chance. Then don’t ever again take such abuse for any reason whatsoever.
Your family is an awful set of abusive bullies. You're a spineless bit*h for letting the abuse run this far, and I have no idea how your fiance has been able to stay with you this long, most men would have cut and run a while ago. In fact, if I was the guy, i'd press charges on them for hiding lifesaving medication and attempting to harm my health. Sounds like this is something your family has pulled on your previous boyfriends, but because you're engaged to this guy they upped the antics. You and your whole family are toxic, I hope your fiance bails, he deserves much better than you all.
Yes- they need to be smacked down for their abuse. They absolutely need to understand what they did was life- threatening unacceptable and they’ll need to do some work to earn your trust again. I don’t advocate for staying estranged- but I wouldn’t let them near a grandkid without substantial evidence they had changed. The thing is that despite their despicable behavior, there was love there somewhere between you and your family. I don’t think you have to sacrifice that to set strict boundaries with them but maybe don’t live close enough for them to “ stop by”. I weirdly have mixed feelings about the wedding though. I don’t know how much time you have to think about it- but you don’t get a do over. They certainly are wrong and ridiculous and don’t deserve to go, on the other hand it would probably break your Dad’s heart. They have earned the smack down no question- but milestones last decades. I haven’t met them but I’ve seen some real idiots who still aren’t heartless.
Uh... I work with 2 Tims. It's not a fake or even unusual name. What an odd thing to think is a red flag. Do you think Tim Burton is fake too? Also, don't you think that they might use a nom de plume to hide their identity? Not sure if you should consider yourself an expert at identifying fraud.
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I suspect his family has conditioned him to "go along to get along" which is a bad combo with her family's behavior.
Load More Replies... The irony of them moaning about him getting his missus to help fight his battles whilst them running to her mom to see if she'll help them with theirs.
Holy mother-forking shirtballs! No wonder she's sought advice on the internet - her family has normalised the most toxic of masculine behaviours so she doesn't realise that what her family is doing is SOCIOPATHIC. She is kinda the AH for letting it go on so long, but since she clearly doesn't have a normal benchmark to recognise that, is she fully to blame for not addressing it sooner? To be honest, I really wonder what it is about her that has made Timmy stick around as long as he has. None of this is pranking. All of it is bullying.
Ikr, when a person's family is obviously so disturbing that they don't have a proper gage for what is normal behavior, it's disheartening. The men in family are vile loathsome creatures, and the women who live with them are SUS. OP needs to get some therapy to deprogram her brain against her learned behaviors from home and learn new techniques and positive behavior skills. Her fiancé could likely use some therapy also to help him heal from the torment and disruptive behavior of her family members. I feel so horrible for what he's been through.
Load More Replies... What an horrible horrible family that is. Slashing tires "as a prank"? F**k them. I would involve some authorities on them and make them pay the damage they had done.
My thoughts exactly: "horrible, horrible." I know they're family but I wouldn't want these toxic, awful people in my life. My recommendation: move away to the furthest point in the country. That's what I did!
Load More Replies... Blame on the family, but also on the girl herself. I have a racist a*****e family that loves to bully around others, and I'd never even consider letting any friend or boyfriend I have get near to them, let alone leaving them alone with someone I know. Girl should cut ties with her family and run as far as she can, these men are toxic - I'd have already kicked their asses the time they slashed his tires, if not already way before.
She is pretty young keep in mind and she is now cutting them out of her life. I stuck by my racist family until my mid-20s before I excluded them completely. 22 means she is barely out of the house. These are the only people she has been around and was raised by. I haven't spoken to 99% of my family in about 15 years but when you are in your early 20s is when you introduce outside people to your family and start to really notice how terrible they are. I would say she is right on track. Don't be too hard on her over it.
Load More Replies... That escalated fast! From prank, to criminal damage, to attempted murder. And he shouldn't worry about driving a wedge between her and her family. The family did that all on their own. What happens if they go on to have a son (because apparently they have a thing about their idea of masculinity) and he has asthma or a peanut allergy? She needs to take her fiancé and move several states away and then get therapy because she apparently didn't see anything wrong with their behaviour until they tried to kill him, which means growing up in that atmosphere has severely warped her ideas of what are pranks and what is abusive behaviour.
Yes, and I would hardly call being "forced" to play chess a prank. Though that might be because I like to play chess 😄
Load More Replies... Asthmatic here as well a my 2 sisters. THAT IS NOT A PRANK..That is a sure fire way of killing someone if they are a chronic asthmatic. Agree that the O.P. let this go on way too long. Slashing tires?! Not only would I terminate the relationship with the entire family INCLUDING the fiancé, but would file a report with the police. Both seem to be too young even get married.
didn't something similar happen at a school? except the school took it away, and the child died because he didn't have his inhaler.
Did that really happen? If that was my kid I would sue the person(s) responsible to oblivion! And this is coming from a German. We do not sue left right and center.
Load More Replies... Pranking means everyone laughs. You can't laugh if you can't breathe. Not a prank. Cruel. End of. Run, girl, run. I ran. No regrets.
Would they have hidden his insulin? His seizure meds? His blood pressure meds? ( If he took these, I'm saying) they should have both kicked butt out of the gate. They wanted to test they have a result. Busted family. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
These aren't pranks, they're hazing. There's a reason it's illegal in most places. It's toxic masculinity at its finest, and these men were the assholes before they even thought about taking the inhaler.
They should try hazing cops to see if they're manly enough to arrest them for vandalism, mischief, and attempted manslaughter.
Load More Replies... Sounds like she needs to choose between her family and her fiance, because there is no way she can have a relationship with both.
Were I the boyfriend, I'd be having second thoughts about the whole thing.
Load More Replies... I feel sorry for your man. He should be given space and reconsider does he really need you and the family in his life for rest of the life. This is criminal and dangerous. I cannot believe this is a prank, testing future husband? I'd say hypothetically if your male relatives would have experienced any health issues your man could easily say they are lazy and leave them to it. Hiding inhaler can be fatal. I can't believe this is even a discussion. I would have gotten restraining orders. Also mum saying bygones be bygones is toxic on same level as family telling not to discuss what happens in the family. Abusive, controlling, humiliation, getting off and creating discomfort and hurt to other human being. So many things happened that should have been stopped at the beginning yet it just got worse for him not to you or anyone in your family. I'd be deeply embarrassed for my family and let the man go find a better woman who stands up first time. He could have died!!!
They slashed his tires that makes them all @$$holes alone. But to steal (or hide) someone's emergency medical equipment that's F#&*ed up beyond belief. Personally I think the fiancee should have made a police report about the inhaler. And I'm with the bride stay strong and keep them off the guest list
NTA - BUT, move as far away from your family as you can get AFTER filing police reports about the intentional property damage, & especially the attempted voluntary manslaughter! Don't even talk to any of them ever again, & do NOT EVER trust ANY of them again, even your mother, who is siding with them, & should also be uninvited if she continues to try to change your mind about uninviting those awful & sickening men! These guys are sociopathic & dangerous! What if you & Tim would have male children? If Tim still wants to marry you, then you must cut ties & get the hell away from your sadistic family from hillbilly hell. What do Tim's family members think of all this massively sadistic bullying & hazing of their son???
Load More Replies... NTA. If I was Timmy I'd tell them to F off and never go out to do things with them ever again. Who cares if they think he's soft or whatever. At that point what's Timmy trying to prove? He's marrying her not them.
I would've run a mile before it even got that far. Slashing his tires, wtf? I hate when people justify shitty behaviour with "it was just a joke!". Her family are a bunch of dickheads.
Have fiance hit father in the head with a glass bottle. When he yells for help call him soft.
So, lemme get this straight: these guys act like little children picking on the new kid at school ... to see how MANLY he is? And put his HEALTH at risk as well as cost him hundreds of dollars...? Forget about the wedding, I would have stopped talking to them years before. What horrible people they are.
I would have called the cops on my own father if he "jokingly" slashed my boyfriends tires. I'd also never speak to him again. No seeing your grandchildren. No chance for forgiveness. Good riddance assholes. I'm so sorry.
If you slash my tires as a "prank", your car will have an up close and personal encounter with my S&W Model 29.
Load More Replies... "Soft college kid", yes because the way to make it in the modern world as a man is by being the toughest caveman around. What a sad little group of chip-on-the-shoulder underachievers.
How horrible. Slashing tires would have been the line for me if I had even been able to make it that far. I would have also stopped contact with those family members if I was the girl. They are horrible people and tried to ruin her happiness by bullying and abusing her partner. How did she allow it to continue to the point of "let's take his inhaler?"
Life is hard enough as it is, and it puts us on the test constantly. There should be no need to set up extra problems for people in order to test their character. That kind of behaviour is not testing, it is harasment ment to drive your fiancy out of their lives. People that are not trying to help, but instead actively make your life more difficult, is not worth socialising with. Someone ought to have told them so long time ago, as they do not have the bride-to-be's best interest at heart.
I am a lifelong asthmatic and this is not "pranking", this is multiple attempts at trying to kill someone. This young man could have died without his inhaler. There must be something really amazing about her for him to put up with this for this long. These men are not manly, they are a group of middle school kids that haven't grown up yet. If I was her, I would get away from this insanity and fast.
Seriously messed up . I didn't read anything I'd regard as a prank . The men in that family are below assholes .... way below . Slashed tyres or just deflated ? Slashed is just vandalism ... nothing prank-like in that . I could go on but no need ... everyone can see they're a bunch of d***s .
This family is a nightmare. I set the precedent a long time ago that my husband comes first- you mess with him, you have to deal with me. If it's MY family pulling this s**t, I would come UNGLUED. An attack on my partner is an attack on me. Same for my husband and his family. What a bunch of A-holes
I picked up on the "soft 'college' boy". Sounds like some that awful, dangerous behavior is internalized jealousy and resentment, not "making sure he's good enough for our sister/daughter/cousin".
NTA, and please for the love of God, do not let any of these men around any of your future children either.
wth-this is NOT ok and I hate how the boys in the family are being like"iTs jUsT A pRAnK BrO"
If they finally mange to kill the guy, they won't be invited to a wedding anyway....they'll be attending a funeral. They're a bit old to learn that actions have consequences, but don't blame yourself for showing them that this is indeed true.
...........vandalism as a prank ?...........just wow girl, just wow................
As a registered nurse for over 40 years, I have seen patients with asthma DIE from not having access to their inhalers. This is absolutely and unequivocally CRIMINAL! Beyond disinviting these bullies from her wedding, her fiancé should bring criminal charges against these sad excuses for men! Slashing tires? Depending on the vehicle, this could have cost Tim anywhere from $200 to over $2000 to replace! CRIMINAL! Stealing and hiding an inhaler from someone who suffers from asthma? CRIMINAL! When criminals commit crimes, they should do the time. Plain and simple. Jail time, including restitution for damaged property, anguish and severe anxiety, sounds like an adequate sentence for CRIMINALS!
I'm sorry wait what?! Slashing his tires wasn't the point at which she confronted this nonsense and put a stop to it?!? That is completely insane behavior and not cool. Asking questions about "what kind of man you are" and teasing is frankly already annoying and d0uchey enough, but harmless. Slashing tires is unacceptable and horrible. Stranding someone in the woods without medical supplies they need is inhumane and malicious. The husband deserves better than the entire family imo, her included for letting them do any of it.
Toxic masculinity does not care what sex you are, it just wants to bully you
This woman’s family sound like total arseholes. Best to ditch them while you can. Who needs this nonsense. The idea that you stick to family no matter what is absolute horseshit. I’ve broken ties with much of my family and do not regret it for a second. Who needs people like that - related or not.
The Fiancé is marrying into a clanish, spartan family. They think the good guys won in the movie "Deliverance". They exist all over the world. Fiancé and future wife have to figure our how to manage.
Pranking is the absolute worst excuse for a**ho*** and abusers. It is so ridiculous. These non-humans should be shunned. Gross
Your family are a bunch of bullies and enablers. As for your male relatives losing respect for Tim, they should be more concerned about how you and Tim have lost respect for them and how that will translate in you going no contact.
Honestly if people put the life of the person I love in danger, knowingly and with no good reason, they would be uninvited from my life.
This is what they call "toxic masculinity" which is usually a cover for massive insecurity. I get really pissed how movies and TV portray people with asthma. They always portray them having to use an inhaler as "weakness" and show them doing it completely wrong and in an annoying manner whenever they get stressed. And when the character finally "mans" up the somehow no longer seem to have asthma. Those writers need to die and burn in hell.
I'd not only uninvite them from my wedding, I'd no longer consider them my family. F#ck bullies.
I got one paragraph in before it was blatantly obvious NOT the ahole. That ladies family are a bunch of effin jackasses. Secretly slashed his tires? That's not funny! I cannot stand "pranking families" because it's just another way of saying "yep we're all assholes"
This should be a hill to die on. So-called men who assault another man and call it a prank are doing what is called "Hazing" and it is not only illegal, but a moral failure. Your male relatives are weaklings who only beat someone up when they're in a gang. I'm just surprised he didn't shoot someone in self-defense at this point.
I don't think things will improve after the wedding, they will probably blame him (the fiance) for the trouble they themselves caused, I'm afraid of what they might do or maybe I'm being paranoid.
You are TA for letting them do all this, not for uninviting them. You seriously let them slash his tires? What kind of family is this?
I agree with the comment that she let it go on for far too long. I'd have keept them far far away from me and the hubby after the tire slashing. That is not a prank, that is serious, as is hiding an inhaler. What a toxic family. And leting bygone things be gone only works if they don't keep doing the same s**t over and over - which they did.
This is toxic bullying, escalating to criminal damage (tires). The inhaler theft could put his health at risk, and what if he had had a severe asthma attack without immediate access to his inhaler? He literally could have died. Good on him for having the sense to remove himself from the situation.
A close friend of mine died because he had such severe asthma that it affected his heart and there was nothing, they could do to save him from his last major asthma attack. They are a danger to society. There pranks were far from funny. He needs to run as fast as he can away from all of them.
Since when are straight up vandalism and stealing a disabled person's support device "pranks"? These are CRIMES
Wow. Those assholes are really over-compensating for low self-esteem and/or other issues or something. Seriously, who calls all that toxic b******t 'pranks'? It sounds like they need constant validation about their manhood by putting other people down. But, sure, Tim is the 'soft' one.
These "men" have obviously never had to fight rising panic while also trying to control their limited breathing.
Jesus, what a bunch of toxic a**holes. They're hazing the guy like the guy is pledging a fraternity.
"dad said this is just typical stuff men challenge each other with" - I dealt with macho assholes at one job (no lethal pranks, but viewing porn in an open office was one of the nasty displays of "manliness"). One time, I told my husband about them and half-joked, "You're not a real man. Thank goodness."
Took me till I was like 25 before I started pushing back against some family members. When you're a kid it's not easy to stand up to bullies, especially when you aren't psychologically literate and they gaslight you. Good for her for seeing how toxic they are and making a decision. In my case, the offenders were simply excommunicated for a year till they stopped being assholes.
I grew up with three brothers and a bunch of boy cousins, and have several uncles. I am auntie to one niece. All the other kids/stepkids that my siblings raised are men. None of them have pulled this s**t. ZERO. The OP here just has a family full of buttheads, pure and simple.
What if you have a kid and it's a boy? What if Baby takes after dad and is not a hunter or fisherman. They will absolutely torment him. Stick up for your future husband. He's going to be your support, love and partner for (hopefully) the rest of your life. Maybe your family will come to their senses, but if not, it's their loss.
If her family members have been doing this sort of thing for years I'm surprised something tragic hasn't already happened.
If you want your marriage to last, get away from these people, and STAY away from them. They are NEVER going to respect your marriage. They don't respect YOU or they wouldn't have treated your fiance like they did. And ppl like them do not change because they don't see anything wrong with their behavior. The fact that they felt it was ok to vandalize his car and jeopardize his life is proof they aren't REAL men. A man that is confident doesn't victimize others. I'm sure you're looked down on because your female. If you can't let your toxic bullying family go, let the fiance go. If you love him you won't make him choose between the woman he loves and the respect he deserves. The peaceful wonderful life with you will NEVER happen If they are allowed in your life. If i we're him i would have already left you. This being your father, he will never change or stop no matter what he says. Some s****y AH men.
They could have murdered him by doing that. I partially blame the many movies and shows that make fun of asthmatics by showing them using it as some sort of a crutch when they're stressed. It's always some chubby kid or a nerd. And then there are the ones where someone gets them to calm down and the asthma goes away - like it's a psychological condition.
NTA That is horrible, dangerous, mean spirited, childish behavior! Unbelievable!!!
I know the type, I live in Georgia and these type of redneck bullies are the norm. It's ridiculous and I had to go through something similar when I was 19 dating a girl from "the sticks" as they call it. I was going to medical school and they always called me college boy, they always had some stupid challenge or would try to overwhelm me with stupid riddles and stupid games like "ok look directly at me and copy everything I do ok." they they do all these stupid things like waving their arms and etc, and plops down in a chair behind him but secretly put a big mouse trap contraption on my chair. So when I sit in the chair it would clamp on me. But luckily I was smart enough to look before I sat and they blamed me for ruining the fun. It all came to a head finally when they wanted me to come to their hunting cabin in the middle of nowhere and left me there for 3 days with no food and there definitely wasn't any cell service.
So hiding the one thing that could save his life if he were to have an asthma attack, is a prank and what, if he died it's because he's a "soft college kid"? The "men" in your family sound like total AHs. I'm assuming that all of the male relatives you mentioned were bullies at school? They still are based on what you described. What utterly repugnant behaviour. When THEY slashed HIS tyres, did they cover the cost, or would that have been soft too? They don't deserve to be included in your wedding, f**k 'em. I'm glad you didn't turn out to be a profound prick like all of them.
NTA medical afflictions no matter the severity are awful. Same scenario happened with my Wife. She's been allergic to shellfish all her life. People at her work thought she was just overdoing it, and put shrimp in a pasta dish at a company potluck. She had a reaction, went into shock, and spent a few days in the hospital. People are asshats. Unfortunately, seems like the men in your family are all afflicted with this problem. Good luck.
"They've done stuff like forcing him to play chess 4 times in a row, secretly slashed his tires" 😲 That escalated quickly!
If I was your fiance, I'd probably not marry in to your family. Imagine if you have a son and how he'll be treated someday? Sounds to me that they actually feel intimidated by his education. I could not imagine putting up with frat boy antics for the rest of my life! You may need to make a decision to permanently cut them off to be happy.
who slashes tires as a prank unless you own a tireshop and replace them for free
Let this be the hill you die on. They were bullying, plain and simple. And the fact that they pulled the family card let's you that they know they are wrong but don't want to admit it so they're trying to guilt you. Stick to your guns. Not only is this bullying but it sounds like it would continue if you net and married someone else. Then that toxic masculinity would be passed to a new generation. "Testing manliness", just bullsh!!t. They set that bar and they could raise it whenever they saw fit. I could even attempt to charge them for misdemeanors for the slashed tires and perhaps a higher charge for hiding his asthma inhaler. He could have had an asthma attack and struggling to breathe while they stood around trying to see if he'd figure it out on his own. My dad has asthma, going without his inhaler for half a day would result in his death. I don't know the severity of Tims asthma, but it's something for his health and they prevented him from having it. That could be accidental manslaughter.
I'm glad other people called her out on her complacency until it got deadly. She should have blown up on them when they slashed the poor man's tires!!! I don't know that she deserves to be left, but she certainly needs to figure out if her family is the type of people she really wants around. God forbid they have a boy in the future and that boy wants to be anything but a backwoodsman who eats nails and drinks gasoline, (figuratively OR literally in the case of these jerkwads) he will be told on all four sides to grow a pair and become bullying a$shole too.
Have Timmy take a baseball bat to their cars and then laugh at them when they can't fix it themselves
"he lost the little respect" i would've said "and you lost all of my respect for you, dad".
My dad died because he did not have medicine with him when it was needed. My stepdad nearly died because of one of the astma attacks. He was in the garage and had no inhaler with him (he forgot it in the bathroom). Both mom and I were in the house and could not hear him. You NEVER hide anyones medicine.
They probably watched too much It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, that is an awful show. I never understood it, what they call pranks on that show I would kill ppl for it. To bad OP have not answered to that lost respect comment with " Who the actual f would care about a freaking moronic caveman's respect, your respect is absolutely worthless, to me or my husband. Oh, and on the next idiotic prank the police will be involved."
I agree with the comments that mention that she should not have let things go as far as they did in the first place. Her family is clearly toxic. She and her fiance need to discuss their entire relationship to her family and all of the crap she allowed them to do to him. If they are planning on having children, they shouldn't be exposed to this dangerous behavior. From the adults or from children.
I dunno. They actually slashed his tires? “Men” like these claim to be don’t piiss money away. Not sure about that one.
Got nothing to do with the wedding. I think the guy should run far and v v fast. Your family men are criminals. At best wolves. Are they gray, artic, timber brown or black BTW? If I were ur guy I'd start looking for a human female. I don't wanna raise no animals.
This is the same mindset as those that say allergies don't exist!.... Imagine if they get married and have a child,a boy,and he has a severe allergy to peanuts..... What are they gonna do then when he's older ???"Oh he's just being a sissy and we need to teach him to be a man????"How stupid can people be with medical conditions?!?!
Yeah no, cut them out of your life completely until they completely change if they ever do. They’re dangerous bullies that have been poisoned with toxic masculinity and are using that poison to harm and poison others.
When I was late teens, early twenties, I was engaged to a woman who's family was about the same way. No matter what I did, it was never good enough for their daughter/sister. They would have me do all the s**t work while they watched. Or they would invite me hunting and leave me at night with no idea where the hell I was at. Eventually, I started doing things that impressed them. Like managing to find my way back to the dad's truck and drive it (a 3 on the tree shift) around till I found them walking down the road with their dogs. All the things they did were crappy without a doubt. But I never let them know or think they got the best if me, and I ended up beating them at their own game.
YZOU should not have even validated them, by playing their game, & by their rules. After finding them on the road with their dogs, I'd have driven past them, horn honking & driven all the way back home with the truck & put it in the owner's garage, called The fiance to come get me, then packed up & left that family (fiance welcome to come with, or not).
Load More Replies... She really is TA here for letting this crap happen in the first place. No way she doesn't know about the kind of "pranks" they pull on one another in her family. She clearly sought out a different kind of man than the ones she's been raised with, at the very least she should have warned the fiance about what he was walking into when meeting these animals and should have absolutely put her foot down the second this s**t started. No way I'd have ever let my partner be subjected to the very same abuse that I, myself, am trying to run away from. My mom has abused me since I was a child and I worked hard to keep my husband away from her crap. I'm very lucky that he took the opportunity to let her know that not only will he not stand for it but he won't let her do it to me, either. He whisked me out of her house and brought me to live with him that same day and ironically, it gained my mom's respect 🙄 Wonder if the same would have happened here had they done it, too.
If I were Tim, I'd cancel the wedding. The OP sounds spineless and unable to stand up to the toxic bullies, and who wants to marry into that mess? I hope he has someone in his life to talk some sense into him. He is marrying into abuse.
It's pretty toxic to leave someone just because they are a bit of a pushover. Also, she stood up well against her a*****e family and shielded him from more abuse.
Load More Replies... YTA, for allowing the abuse from the start. Knowing how deranged her family has been yet still letting him go on a day trip with them. Big deal they aren't invited to the wedding. Here is a huge surprise for her--hardly anyone cares about attending a wedding Especially men. If they are upset about missing a wedding they are not very manly. A great deal of women don't enjoy attending weddings as well. Who cares? There is a good chance this expensive production of Queen for a Day will end in divorce anyway. It's sad that one or both people are so desperate for attention that they will waste or go in debt to impress family and friends that they expect others to show up out of guilt to show up and could not care less about your wedding. The money spent/wasted could have been a down payment on a home, paid for student loans or an amazing honeymoon or vacation. Nobody will care or remember your gown, your color choices, your flowers, your boring choice of meals, the DJ/band, dumb speeches e
Wow, I am surprised your fiancé is still willing to see you. Slashing tires is vandalism not prancing. Bullying in the name pranking is bullying him. But withholding a real medical device is torture, not pranking. Clearly your male family members don't like their future in-law, weakling, slow "college kid". Seem to have a chip on their shoulder about educated people, until they are in trouble and need a educated and smart lawyer. Young lady if you really love this man, elope, and get away from your toxic family as far as possible, and enjoy your future together without the toxic baggage of your family.
Tim should definitely reflect on these outrageous and treacherous actions, why it took so long for his fiancé to retaliate, and simply move on. She’s just as toxic as her family. How can she not be toxic having glazed over such criminal minded behavior only demanding them verbally to cease? These occurrences are major red flags starting with Tim’s fiancé letting it all escalate so far to life threatening acts. She nor her family are worth such torment and distress. Tim, if you’re by any chance reading this, move on NOW while you still have a fighting chance. Then don’t ever again take such abuse for any reason whatsoever.
Your family is an awful set of abusive bullies. You're a spineless bit*h for letting the abuse run this far, and I have no idea how your fiance has been able to stay with you this long, most men would have cut and run a while ago. In fact, if I was the guy, i'd press charges on them for hiding lifesaving medication and attempting to harm my health. Sounds like this is something your family has pulled on your previous boyfriends, but because you're engaged to this guy they upped the antics. You and your whole family are toxic, I hope your fiance bails, he deserves much better than you all.
Yes- they need to be smacked down for their abuse. They absolutely need to understand what they did was life- threatening unacceptable and they’ll need to do some work to earn your trust again. I don’t advocate for staying estranged- but I wouldn’t let them near a grandkid without substantial evidence they had changed. The thing is that despite their despicable behavior, there was love there somewhere between you and your family. I don’t think you have to sacrifice that to set strict boundaries with them but maybe don’t live close enough for them to “ stop by”. I weirdly have mixed feelings about the wedding though. I don’t know how much time you have to think about it- but you don’t get a do over. They certainly are wrong and ridiculous and don’t deserve to go, on the other hand it would probably break your Dad’s heart. They have earned the smack down no question- but milestones last decades. I haven’t met them but I’ve seen some real idiots who still aren’t heartless.
Uh... I work with 2 Tims. It's not a fake or even unusual name. What an odd thing to think is a red flag. Do you think Tim Burton is fake too? Also, don't you think that they might use a nom de plume to hide their identity? Not sure if you should consider yourself an expert at identifying fraud.
Load More Replies... I suspect his family has conditioned him to "go along to get along" which is a bad combo with her family's behavior.
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