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“Could Probably Steal Anyone’s Man”: Woman’s Loyalty Test On Boyfriend Backfires Terribly
Deep-seated insecurities can be powerful enough to make a person forget about basic logic. In turn, they do nonsensical things that may profoundly affect their relationships in the worst way possible.
The woman in today’s story is a classic example. She let her self-doubt and seeming lack of faith in her boyfriend consume her so severely that she subjected him to a “test” to prove his loyalty. Unfortunately, it only blew up in her face.
As for her man, he is now seeking answers from the Reddit community, as he begins to question their relationship.
RELATED:
Insecurities can be detrimental to a romantic relationship
Image credits: galinkazhi (not the actual photo)
A woman allowed her doubts to consume her to the point where she subjected her boyfriend to a “loyalty test”
Image credits: drobotdean (not the actual photo)
Unfortunately, her actions backfired
Image credits: Tiny_Common1864
Female insecurity is a learned trait
The author’s situation isn’t uncommon. You likely know someone with the same insecure girlfriend and have experienced the same relationship struggles. That then begs the question, what drives these insecurities in women?
According to psychotherapist and relationship therapist Dr. Cynthia Pizzulli, it’s because this kind of self-doubt is a learned trait.
“The truth is that women are insecure because they’ve been taught to be,” Dr. Pizzulli wrote in an article for her website. “Society has made women believe this horrible myth that you can NEVER trust a man. And any woman who does is made to feel stupid and naïve.”
Dr. Pizzulli adds that what is often described as “crazy” behavior stems from fear of heartbreak and of being taken for a fool. Setting boundaries in the way that is expected of a person can also make the situation worse. In the story’s case, the author’s decision to distance himself did not solve the problem.
Handling insecurity in a relationship is a two-way street. For someone dealing with emotional instability, understanding their deeper needs and emotions is a good start. According to clinical psychologist Dr. Jill Weber, it’s one way to unblur communication lines.
“Identify within yourself and communicate to your partner what they could do to support you in this growth,” Dr. Weber wrote.
As for the partner, it would help to exert efforts to make their significant other feel as secure as possible, even if it means giving them constant assurances.
“Tell her that you get that she’s afraid of getting hurt. And tell her as often as she needs to hear it that you love her and are going to be with her for the long haul,” Dr. Pizzulli wrote.
Honesty is always the best policy in relationships. It may help the man to be completely transparent about how he felt with the DMs, while also affirming his loyalty. However, he must also reconsider the relationship, especially if another form of the “loyalty test” happens again.
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
People in the comments had no shortage of reactions and advice, many of them urging a breakup
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What do you think ?
Boo 1 month ago
1) ATE: A lot of you have been asking for an update so here’s what happened the past few days. I read most of the comments and a lot of people were telling me to drop her, ghost her. Some of you even told me to f**k Sadie. To be truthful I was not planning on doing either of those things. Some of you were calling me spineless and saying I had no self respect, but Becca had so many redeeming qualities despite the stupid test. I thought she was one of the kindest, smartest, most beautiful, driven people I knew and even though we’ve only been dating for six months, she’d been there for me in ways none of my previous partners have. If there were other red flags, I would’ve just ended it, but there were none, until yesterday. After a couple days of minimal communication, Becca asked if we could meet up to talk. I had thought out how best to say I understood her anxiety but that her behavior wasn’t acceptable, but I wound up not having to say anything because she apologized. She told me
Boo 1 month ago
2) a lot of things about herself and that she knew what she did was wrong but also hoped I’d understand why she acted that way. It was the first time she’d gotten candid with me about this. For her privacy I won’t go into detail, but let’s just say she’s been through a lot and more than explains (but not excuses) her behavior. She even showed me she had booked an appointment with a therapist. I was ready to put this past us, but she let it slip that the account that DMed me was not actually Sadie but a bot account she made to impersonate Sadie, and that Sadie had no idea those DMs were sent. This was so appalling to me that I ended things on the spot. I can handle anxiety and other mental health issues but to impersonate someone online is something I can’t move past. Becca tried calling me and texting me a couple of times afterwards but she’s stopped. Even through her delusion I think she knows it’s over.
Load More Replies...
FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago
This is not a common thing for women to do. The only place it might be common is high school, but even then I think it's mostly fiction. But even if it were common, no one deserves a partner that lies and deceives to build trust Every day in a relationship is a test and the test is are you loving and supportive of your partner, trying your best to be a good team. Everything else is just set dressing.
Chich the witch 1 month ago
He should explain to her that while he may have "passed her test" she has now proved herself to be a space cadet.
Mike F 1 month ago
SM had the potential to be something great, instead it gave us this kind of nonsense.
Crystalwitch60 3 weeks ago
I’d say exactly but then we ain’t on social media lmao ,last time I looked this ain’t fb, insta snap n all the other toxic places 😂
Load More Replies...
meeeeeeeeeeee 1 month ago
Becca, Becca, Becca...you're not supposed to tell the guy your crazy plots.
Boo 1 month ago
1) ATE: A lot of you have been asking for an update so here’s what happened the past few days. I read most of the comments and a lot of people were telling me to drop her, ghost her. Some of you even told me to f**k Sadie. To be truthful I was not planning on doing either of those things. Some of you were calling me spineless and saying I had no self respect, but Becca had so many redeeming qualities despite the stupid test. I thought she was one of the kindest, smartest, most beautiful, driven people I knew and even though we’ve only been dating for six months, she’d been there for me in ways none of my previous partners have. If there were other red flags, I would’ve just ended it, but there were none, until yesterday. After a couple days of minimal communication, Becca asked if we could meet up to talk. I had thought out how best to say I understood her anxiety but that her behavior wasn’t acceptable, but I wound up not having to say anything because she apologized. She told me
Boo 1 month ago
2) a lot of things about herself and that she knew what she did was wrong but also hoped I’d understand why she acted that way. It was the first time she’d gotten candid with me about this. For her privacy I won’t go into detail, but let’s just say she’s been through a lot and more than explains (but not excuses) her behavior. She even showed me she had booked an appointment with a therapist. I was ready to put this past us, but she let it slip that the account that DMed me was not actually Sadie but a bot account she made to impersonate Sadie, and that Sadie had no idea those DMs were sent. This was so appalling to me that I ended things on the spot. I can handle anxiety and other mental health issues but to impersonate someone online is something I can’t move past. Becca tried calling me and texting me a couple of times afterwards but she’s stopped. Even through her delusion I think she knows it’s over.
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago
This is not a common thing for women to do. The only place it might be common is high school, but even then I think it's mostly fiction. But even if it were common, no one deserves a partner that lies and deceives to build trust Every day in a relationship is a test and the test is are you loving and supportive of your partner, trying your best to be a good team. Everything else is just set dressing.
Chich the witch 1 month ago
He should explain to her that while he may have "passed her test" she has now proved herself to be a space cadet.
Mike F 1 month ago
SM had the potential to be something great, instead it gave us this kind of nonsense.
Crystalwitch60 3 weeks ago
I’d say exactly but then we ain’t on social media lmao ,last time I looked this ain’t fb, insta snap n all the other toxic places 😂
Load More Replies... meeeeeeeeeeee 1 month ago
Becca, Becca, Becca...you're not supposed to tell the guy your crazy plots.
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