Guy Berates Girlfriend For Playing Hero And Saving A Girl’s Life, Rubs Her The Wrong Way

We spend our whole lives fully aware of the fact that men are bigger than us and stronger than us - they could easily overpower and/or harm us. We deal with that knowledge all day, every day. We also know that if we are attacked, it’s more likely to be by a male friend, partner, co-worker or acquaintance than by some random male stranger. We’re pretty much experts at extracting our friends and ourselves from potentially dangerous situations with men because if you’re female, existing in public is enough to attract unwanted attention. Turn a man down and you never know how he’ll react. It’s so patronising to suggest that the poster didn’t realise the situation was dangerous - that’s why she stepped in.

Well, she was the hero that woman needed and the entire “it could have gone south”…the guys were looking for a drugged, helpless victim and they got a woman unafraid of confrontation. The odds they would bail on a sober, coherent woman were actually not that bad. They were planning something with an entirely different victim profile. Hopefully they have both since been swallowed by a void in the universe. But holy red flag convention on his responses including repeatedly berating her like he’s in charge of her choices, and just almost every statement he made is concerning including his initial implication that he assumes someone in that situation is to blame. I don’t know, he’s not someone to try and keep around, the worst part was he needed her to see to his emotional needs (miss you,feel punished, not getting what I want made me tone switch) rather than her own after that ordeal . That guy might be just plain old problematic.

The boyfriend is a coward. Had this happened to my gf I would be scared shitless and proud simultaneously, if that makes any sense. But the way he reacts and the language he uses means he doesn't respect courage nor valor. Another child posing as a man

Trigger warning: femicide!! This girl is a hero! She saved a fellow girl from who knows what. I would like to say that i would always step in when a woman is in danger. I did not step in one time, because I was 7 months pregnant. I heard my neighbor scream, and i knew her ex was an a*****e who used to physically abuse her. I've been there for her and her son multiple times. I never heard her scream before, because of our very solid, medieval walls between the buildings, so I knew something was really, really wrong this time. Like i said, i would like to say i would always step in, but this time, i was 7 months pregnant and i could not put my baby in danger. I called the police, who took 20 minutes to show up. Of course, my neihgbor, just 30 years old, was long gone by that time. Let me spare you the details. Police told me she was dead when the first blow hit her, and that there was nothing i could do, it just went so fast this time. It really took time to get over the survivers guilt

What annoys me most is the part where, after he wrote "Walk away and call the cops", he added "Or f***ing call me at least". Why? He's away and unable to assist in any way. This is where he betrays his claims of trying to approach this rationally. It's not about concern - it's about control.

Yes there was risk but who could not do something when best case scenario for the young woman was SA? OP was sober, and had a phone and a vehicle. The odds were the guys were predators of opportunity and just looking for easy prey. And while anything can happen, how could you love wit yourself if you let wild possibilities keep you from preventing a certainty?

I understand where the BF is coming from (to a point). It's fight or flight, and he's going flight. Plus he's worried about his gf, who is at the time was in a different country from him. However, his doubling, tripling, quadrupling etc. down is just ridiculous, harmful and dismissive. As for the situation I understand the idea of considering calling the police and letting them take care of it, but only in the sense where you might think of it when weighing up what to do, and dismiss it in a f*****g instant because it would. not. help. What he thinks is the best approach is basically performative, so he can say he "did the right thing". Lastly, to the BF, you do not f*****g control your girlfriend; you simply cannot order her around like that, ever. OP is an absolute f*****g hero, and her boyfriend is at worst scummy trash, at best incredibly misguided.

Listen, I jump in and help too. When I was younger, older women jumped in to help me. I’m 64 now, which tells you that women have been looking out for other women for a long long time. After putting up with this kind of s**t for so long when we’re young, there comes a time when we just get royally pissed off at it, and can’t help taking our anger out at the perpetrators. Ever seen an old woman use her big heavy purse to beat the s**t out of a mugger or someone harassing someone else? She’s ANGRY that that kind of horseshit is still going on, because she had it happen to her too when she was young. Plus, if I knew I was the only thing between someone getting kidnapped, r***d, beaten, m******d, or otherwise hurt, and I did nothing, then saw her face in the news the next day saying her body had been found, the guilt for being such a coward and not doing anything would absolutely k**l me. I would not be able to live with myself. Whenever I see anyone or anything (I’m the same with animals) in danger, it’s like I become spring-loaded and the spring propels me forward and injects me with anger adrenaline. I can’t help it. My husband doesn’t really like it, not because he blames the victim or anything, but because he’s scared I’m going to get myself hurt. The difference is that he accepts it as an unchanging part of my personality, and if he’s with me at the time, would be jumping in right behind me, because he knows it’s the right thing to do.

This would definitely have me rethinking a relationship, and not because he had a difference of opinion. Believe me, that is going to happen in the best of relationships in the most surprising of places. It’s how that difference of opinion is expressed and debated. I did NOT like “do you think I could have lived with myself . . . “ What? This is nothing to do with you. As a loving partner you support your other half’s right to do what they think best without making it about how it would ‘make’ you feel. And “you’re not listening to me” - oh no, no, no, no. The idea that how you **feel** is how the world actually is, and if only people would take in what you’re saying they would understand is very immature. Not for me, thank you. He has every right to feel shaken that a person he loves, as far as he can understand, put herself in danger, and he has a right to express that, but this is a discussion between two equals who should value each other’s point of view.

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If BF can't accept that you are a person who will take a risk to help someone in need, then maybe BF isn't the right companion. Nobody gets to decide who you should be.

Op has more nuts than her cowardly boyfriend who has no problem with a woman being r***d by unknown jerks. I was so enraged I couldn't read all what was told between them but enough to advise OP to dump that garbage and go no contact.

Just another Tuesday for women.

I didn't read the full discussion because eventually I need to leave the toilet, but while both started with valid points, the guy slipped into some condescending rhetoric while trying to make his point. That being said, this shows how men and women see confrontation - men see it as a social instrument to intimidate/dominate other men, while women see it as life or death, the same way they would react to a tiger and (yes, I know) a bear. The dude was thinking on how he wouldn't be able to make two others back off, the lady was thinking on how the other one would be húrt/kílled hadn't she intervened. She knew full well that the confrontation could've ended with her kílled, and her bf, still calculating the social aspects of dominance, would've simple backed off when realizing he was outmatched.

If i ever see 1 woman up against 2 men you better believe im making it 2v2. Especially when shes obviously a victim already. Im small in stature but i prepare daily for the fight of my life with training and lifting. Im coming at you like a rabid chihuahua. We're not even gonna talk...youre just gonna run bc im wiry already but that adrenaline gets flowing.

OP is a brave hero and saved someone... he should be proud of her. The world needs more people like OP. His whole tone and attitude disgust me.

Dámn. And of course I’m forming this plan with the luxury of time, but I’d probably call the cops, tell them what’s happening and where, tell them to stay on the line, get out of the car and say something like, “Jessica, what are you doing?? I’ve been looking for you for almost an hour!”. Then I’d say their license plate. That’s where I might get into trouble though. Man, this is tough. Alternatively, block their car with my car. Always have a knife. I’m thrown on this one, clearly.

Drop him like a hot rock. He will fail you at the worst time. Just my two cents.

Wow... the chauvinism is strong with this one. I would not tolerate that from a boyfriend.

I get where he's coming from, but ... whatever his opinion is, in this situation, after the encounter was just over, that simply isn't to be debated. That is for later. And later, I think I'd disagree with him practically identical to her, but as I'm a guy, I might be in a different situation, still. But, whatever one has to say about how to react to such, that is for later. Making sure everyone is ok, and acknowledge being lucky for them giving in so easily would suffice for the moment.

His initial anger at her well being is justified, as long as he later apologized and they talked through it. What OP should, and has, have issues with was victim blaming. It doesn't if that girl was completely wasted and whatnot, being assaulted would never have been her fault.

Another thing: if he wanted children with her, he wouldn't hesitate. But why, pregnancy and childbirth are dangerous for women, too, and we have enough humans on this planet. But if this kind of men want "their bloodline" going on, then the danger to us women is suddenly no issue.

To put it simple: every perpetrator wants an easy prey. That is true for burglars as well as intrusive male attention, to put it in a censorship-friendly way. More often than not, the simple act of an outsider getting engaged with the situation is enough deterrent. If the old lady engages in some small talk with the would-be burglar, the burglar will know that he will be remembered and be mentioned to the police. OP bravely intervened in a potentially dangerous situation to save a fellow woman. If more people would say what BF says (don't engage, look at the opposite direction, maybe contact the police) then more potential perpetrator can realize their crimes.

we are told from childhood that men are dangerous. you know those stranger danger talks? its almost always a man, there's a reason for that. OP did an amazing thing protecting that lady from those men. and i love how men try to frame themselves as protectors. 1) who are you protecting us from? and 2) the boyfriend full on admitted he wouldnt protect anyone. his girlfriend stepped up because men like him wont. if he doesnt like women protecting women, maybe he should do it.

Very very proud of you. Your quick thinking could have saved a life.

Op thank you so much for having that girls back , yes it’s dangerous but only an inhuman would walk past n not help !! you did exactly the right thing !, Your bf however is a cruel person , blaming the girl for being so drunk , erm who says she was drunk ?? Those two men could have spiked her drink ffs it’s a huge thing here in uk these days n vile , if no one stepped in that girl would have likely been on the news the next morning having been found defiantly r***d n likely k I l l e d. To , your quick thinking saved her life !! all the ytas are clearly the kind of inhumans that would just walk past , me I’d ligit do what you did ! And in my decades on this earth I have stepped in many times , most when I was working in hospitality , n I’ve broken car rage up outside my house out here in our village , didn’t think just went out told em both to get back in the car , n the one causing it to F off out our village n don’t come back n they both listened n went off. Blessed be x

When I was a kid probably around age 10, I remember sitting outside in the car at a McDonald’s not far from my grandparents house, eating with my Dad. A man came up to my dad’s driver side window and put a knife to my dad’s neck and demanded his wallet. My dad winked at me and in the flash of an eye grabbed the man’s wrist, twisted his arm and broke it by pushing it up hard and fast against the roof of our car. (My dad trained most of his life in martial arts). The would be robber dropped the knife and ran away screaming before my dad could go into the restaurant and call for help (pre cell phone days). It happened so fast I never even saw the man’s face only his dingy, blue t-shirt. My dad passed away in 2018 and when I was cleaning I found the knife and remembered all that had transpired. My dad was always my hero and now I have the knife to go along with the story! The knife was a lot bigger and scarier than I remembered too! I have some training also but I don’t know if I would have the courage or fortitude to do what my Dad did in that split second.

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Ok, if my wife did this, I'd super pissed. Her responsibility is to her family, not a stranger. Me, child, parents. This girl has less people to worry about, but still. This could have ended up with her getting kidnapped or killed. Contact authorities, stress the situation. Don't get up there yourself. If she was a dude, sure, go help the damsel in distress. But as a woman, you are risking way too much. And I apologize for us, men, for being the threat.