Bride’s Obsession With Control Costs Her Two Close Friendships Before The Wedding

Some wedding festivities can feel like emotional pressure cookers, and sometimes people snap in the most bizarre ways. You’ve probably seen viral wedding drama online, from couples freaking out over cake flavors and décor to shouting matches over who makes the bridal party and what everyone has to wear.

In fact, there are so many “bridezilla” stories online that they’ve basically become tabloid fodder.

In one story posted online, a man shared how a bride went to extreme lengths to control the logistics — she removed one friend from the bridal party simply for being pregnant, then tried to dictate the arrangements for the bachelorette trip.

Her rigid rules and micromanaging ultimately made her burn several bridges.

A man said his friend was waiting to have a wedding just to be in control of things

Image credits: user25451090 (not the actual image)

The bride removed one of their mutual friends, who got pregnant, from the bridal party

Image credits: Caleb Oquendo (not the actual image)

Image credits: Curated Lifestyle (not the actual image)

The man was ultimately also disinvited from the wedding by the bride

Image credits: KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA (not the actual image)

Image credits: Emit-Sol

Wedding stress can turn minor decisions into major arguments

Planning a wedding is supposed to be one of the happiest times of your life, but research consistently shows it can also be a total stress inducer — especially if you’re going all out.

Between figuring out who’s invited, juggling family drama, picking flowers and playlists, and keeping track of deadlines, couples sometimes feel like they’re about to lose it.

Studies show wedding prep is actually one of the most stressful things people go through. Couples who are engaged report way higher stress and anxiety than their non-engaged friends, and it only increases the closer you get to the big day.

Trouble sleeping, snapping at their partner over the small stuff, or just losing interest in things they normally love are all classic side effects experienced by some couples.

On top of all this, planning a wedding can eat through your bank account faster than you can say open bar. The average American wedding now costs over $35,000, and for most people, that means dipping into savings or taking on debt just to make the day happen.

It’s no wonder then why some couples end up arguing over the cake flavor or who sits at Aunt Karen’s table.

“There’s a long list of things that merge together in a wedding to give the perfect conditions for bad behavior. There’s the inevitable stress of making a massive life decision, there’s two sets of family dynamics to balance, there’s money involved, deadlines, expectations, and the list goes on. While we don’t condone or even expect poor behavior, it’s hard to miss why it happens,” says Julie Bunkley of Invision Events.

Image credits: Sandy Millar/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

What the bridezilla stereotype really says about wedding culture

We’ve all seen this trope of “bridezilla” in movies and shows, and countless stories on social media. There are even dedicated online groups on platforms like Reddit that specifically bash and shame brides.

The term bridezilla — comparing stressed-out brides to Godzilla, the giant monster from the classic 1954 Japanese movie — blew up in the 2000s thanks to movies and reality shows that loved to showcase wedding drama. Now, the image of the bride has shifted from fairytale princess to full-on stress monster.

At the same time, women, especially straight women, are taught from a young age to see their wedding day as a big achievement. It’s something they are supposed to be dreaming about forever, and it’s supposed to be flawless.

Even though a bride doesn’t need to buy into all the cultural ideas of what a wedding should look like, with the global wedding industry raking in over $650 billion a year, it’s no wonder they feel the pressure.

Planning a wedding still mostly falls on the bride, and when some women snap under the stress, it’s hardly shocking. There is no groomzilla in popular culture, or if there is, it is meant as a joke.

But some brides certainly go way overboard trying to craft the perfect day, just like the woman in this Reddit story.

It can be due to this “once in a lifetime” mindset and the idea of perfection that is everywhere these days — on our social media feeds and wedding blogs, and amplified by celebrity weddings that get nonstop coverage.

This sets sky-high expectations and makes even small mistakes feel like a disaster.

In a survey, nearly 75% of couples reported making wedding planning decisions directly influenced by what they see on social media.

But experts say that some individuals may already have controlling or entitled behavior and the wedding setting simply unleashes it.

They can get so wrapped up in their own vision that they forget their friends might be juggling full-time jobs, saving up for a new apartment, or covering unexpected medical bills.

Seeing perfect weddings online or in magazines, and reading bridal stories, can also make some brides feel like going full “bridezilla” is normal — or even expected — to live up to that ideal.

“We have been inundated with all of these images of beautiful weddings and lavish bachelorette parties. A lot of times, people want to have those experiences and they don’t understand what it takes to pull that type of stuff off — who’s footing the bill for it? Anytime you count on other people’s money, you’re getting into dicey territory,” says Danielle L Moore, LCSW, a mental health therapist at Refresh Wellness Center.

“If the bride is expecting for there to be this grandiose celebration, that can be very stressful; it can cause tensions to rise if stuff doesn’t live up to the expectations.”

Unlike late RSVPs, a missing cake, or last-minute dress disasters — which can all be fixed — arguments and tensions during wedding planning can leave lasting scars.

There are plenty of stories: brides and their maids of honor who don’t speak for years, friends who were once close stop visiting, siblings clash over seating charts for years, and even parents have drifted apart.

“I’ve seen brides who have completely deteriorated relationships with their mothers and their fathers. Once you feel disrespected, like somebody didn’t honor you, or like somebody mishandled and mistreated you—people remember how you made them feel,” says Moore.

How to stop wedding stress from taking over your life

There’s no way to dodge every flare-up or moment of drama during wedding planning, but experts believe you can handle difficult brides or grooms better with some smart strategies.

Don’t take every picky comment or bossy request personally. Pause, breathe, and respond calmly, and stand your ground without turning it into a fight.

Image credits: Cássio Jardim/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Sometimes, a simple conversation can work wonders. Meet up for coffee or a drink and ask what’s really stressing them out. If something they did hurt your feelings, say it gently. A little honesty goes a long way when tensions are high.

Keep the drama contained — venting to other friends who are in the wedding party might feel satisfying, but it usually just fuels the chaos.

And last, but not the least, know your limits. If they’re asking too much, like spending money you don’t have or doing something you’re uncomfortable with, be honest. It’s okay to step back from friendly duties if it’s just too much.

Whether you’re in the bridal party, part of the family, or the bride or groom yourself, the takeaway is simple: no wedding — no matter how perfect it looks online — is worth losing yourself or burning bridges over.

The man gave some more info in response to the comments

Many people commented in support of the man’s decision

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