Woman Confronted By Ex Husband’s New GF After She Refuses To Watch Their New Baby
Besides, feeding, clothing, and educating kids, it’s obviously pretty important to not leave them alone for extended periods of time. Many a young person has made a decent chunk of cash by babysitting children when the adults need to do something. Young parents quickly learn that figuring out what to do with their kids is now an indispensable part of planning nearly anything.
So one netizen shared her surprise when her ex-husband started to make demands about her babysitting his newborn. Even more confusingly, his new girlfriend absolutely flipped out when OP, naturally, refused. She was then subjected to a stunning array of varied attacks over her very reasonable decision.
Just because someone is a mother doesn’t mean they can or even want to babysit random kids
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
A mother shared her bewildering experience after she refused to babysit her ex-husband’s new child
Image credits: Jonathan Borba (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Tranmautritam (not the actual photo)
Image credits: specialagentgarbage
Babysitting is a job, not a little side gig someone does
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
Just looking after one’s own children is hard enough. Many parents see it as basically a full-time job, and some nations even grant pretty generous allowances for people to be with their kids and not work. Denmark, for example, grants 52 weeks of parental leave. This can be spread between the parents and even “started and stopped” so the adults can return to work gradually but still have extra free time to be with their kids. But even if both parents have free time, one can’t exactly take a child or newborn everywhere. To the good fortune of suburban young adults all over the world, most parents are happy enough to pay a babysitter to look after kids while they are out or away.
Now, normally this is a paid gig for a reason. Hanging out with children might be rewarding to some, but most people do need to be paid to give up their free time. In the US, the average pay for babysitting a single child for an hour was about $22.68. Should a person find over thirty hours a week babysitting, they can make more than a lot of roles that are already demanding enough. A lot of, say, customer service jobs and the food industry pay worse. This price indicates two things, high demand and an unwillingness for people to spend lots of time with kids for nothing. Indeed, the cost of babysitters has actually risen quite a bit since 2019, reflecting inflation and the general, lessening desire of people to do this work.
OP’s ex-husband really should have known better than to ask
Image credit: Andrew Neel (not the actual photo)
Which, setting aside all the other issues, is already enough to paint OP’s ex-husband as the bad guy. He and his partner seem to expect that a person that really doesn’t owe them anything should drop everything and perform free labor. This alone is deeply entitled and seems to show a lack of any understanding about parenting or even looking after a child. Pretty surprising, given that this fellow and OP already had two kids together, so it seems logical that an involved parent would know the ins and outs. Indeed, he didn’t seem to think that adding a random extra kid to the mix might make it harder to look after his two biological children she was already looking after.
While he was still entitled to ask because why not try a long shot, he and his partner’s reaction to a no was beyond childish. Review bombing because they don’t get free daycare is more childish than the kid they are trying to pawn off to his ex-wife. The emotional aspect is also important to factor in, this is a marriage that split up after a whole decade, not an insignificant amount of time. Emotions may remain raw for the rest of their natural lives, so one could infer that this argument is just the surface of a deeper, older grudge. Regardless, the commenters were on the money, she is not at fault here at all.
Commenters sided with OP and did their best to give some advice
Others discussed why her ex really needed to think about his position
Some people have wild expectations. I cheated with your husband and stole him from you... can you watch our baby every day though? Doesn't affect your workday at all right?
These are the crazy things that narcissists asks of their sources all the time. He obviously still thinks that he has a strong enough hold over her. And as for the new girlfriend, she's either a fellow narcissist or a very deluded new source, possibly the first with all of the malicious activity she instigated against OP on Google through her friends and family. What kind of morons would even suggest that someone they shat on, by cheating with each other and getting pregnant, should watch that child. I'd be worried about retaliation in this day and age. They've clearly lost their minds. Aside from the fact that OP appears to be well adjusted and not in that frame of mind. She stated that she still has feelings for her ex. There's some crazy people out here and the last person I'd ask to watch my newborn is a person who may feel vindictive towards me. It's just madness...
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"She asked why I thought my kids were better than hers." Between that and the retaliatory behavior, I would be VERY concerned about new girlfriend taking out her resentment on OP's kids when they're over there.
Let‘s just hope the Dad does not leave them alone with her. He seams to be an ok Father, apart from everything else
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Agreed. But I’m also not convinced that OP is out of The Doormat Woods yet: she’s obv still in love with him and the kids guarantee that he will never completely be out of her life. And he KNOWS it. I can already see him convincing her to justify taking him back “for the kids”. I do hope she stays strong tho - it’s a tough path to walk.
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She asked why I thought my kids were better than hers ... because they are! Even though she didn't say it, the girlfriend did, to the OP, her kids are my important (to her) just like the new baby will be more important (to girlfriend). OP doesn't have to treat the children on an equal basis just because they share the same sperm donor!
Your ex still expects you to look after him and cater to his needs. Stop all conversation with him other than what is directly related to the kids. Don’t listen to his confidences abou his problems with his gf and do not take him back, even temporarily. Also, check out Chump Lady because she describes your ex exactly.
Ok.....F**K that stupid ex.-husband and his dumb-a*s knocked-up girlfriend for even thinking of asking her to be a babysitter. Wish I could tell them both to their stupid faces what pathetic losers they are.
The girlfriend got family and friends involved too, to pile a sense of guilt. Can't see how not wanting to babysit a cheating couples crotch goblin is supposed to engender a sense of guilt myself but then I'm not batshit crazy entitled and psycho.
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Divorced. Half sibling on way from ex an new gf. Wants op to be free aka $200 a week babysitter while running her own biz and also prob expects ops parents to freely babysit too. Wtf. Change your locks. Go to that court hearing head high. Regardless if you banged him one last time it's nothing. She's the one who took your place in his life. He knows what birth control is. He's an adult. Get a protective order against her too. Just let the kids see their dad and hope she doesn't treat them badly or fill their heads with "your mom don't want you to know your new sibling" drama. If anything ask the court to have him have supervised visitation because you are concerned that could happen too.
1/2 This is just bonkers, I simply cannot believe the sheer audacity of that utter harpy. She was knowingly having an affair with a married man, which was the reason for the divorce, got pregnant while he was still married and asks the ex wife to babysit the result of their affair?? It's not the child's fault at all but good grief, that must've been the most painful question to be asked. And then not only does she herself but her friends and family act totally unhinged when, obviously, she's told no! I wouldn't want my children to be around a woman like that.
2/2 The accusation, which is entirely reasonable if true, of the ex wife thinking her own children are better, doesn't fill me with confidence that this revolting woman will treat them nicely/equally at all, especially when the husband isn’t around. So many red flags. The husband is a manipulative scumbag and the poor ex wife shouldn’t have anything to do with him apart from co-parenting the two children they have together as best and as amicably as they can. Everything and everybody else is irrelevant to her. I really really hope the awful mistress doesn’t go on a revenge rampage or something, it sounds like she’s entirely capable.
After all the drama went down the man disappeared? Dude's probably already got baby mama number 3 on the go. Once a cheat always a chest. Man acting like he's gonna repopulate after the apocalypse.
She needs to set firm boundaries with her ex husband. She needs space to move on from this piece of literal sewer waste and she needs to build some self confidence. You can coparent without being friendly. And I would be livid if my ex husband had my kids around fresh and immature girlfriends like that. I would save any and all negative interactions with the father and girlfriend in a log and bring it to court to petition for increased custody and limitations around visits.
I could understand babysitting the ex's new kid. But only if it was an amicable breakup. No cheating involved, both parties could comfortably sit down and be friendly without the possibility of a fight or make-up sex. After all, the existing kids would be half-siblings with the new one. So they're going to be spending time together anyway. But the fact this breakup is messy, there was cheating and it's still a fresh and bloody wound... oh hell no. That's inevitably going to be a problem.
90% of the time this reddit stuff is... my exs SO in in the hospital and i know its a medical emergency and a few days but not my kid not my problem. I never agree with that. Be a good human. But in this case, the pregnant gf is out of line. Even with being paid 200$ itll Absolutely affect her work at home still. Big no. And she wasnt even rude.
Given a 40 hour work week, $200 amounts to $5 an hour. Even teenage babysitters get more than that.
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Sure, I'll take care of your child. Teach them rhymes like "Daddy is a cheater and mommy is a meanie." Pretty soon the child will call me Unkie Bronzie and will always ask to stay over. Then I am the fun uncle and child will slowly learn to have mom and dad. Pretty they grow up and hate mom and dad and see me as their adoptive parent. /s
I am truly astonished that her ex thinks that because she works from home and takes care of their 2 and 4 year old children with help from her parents he really believes that adding his newborn child will not make a difference! The newborn will add many hours of extra time taken out of her working day, the child is nothing to do with her or her parents and they are offering her $5 an hour! If they both want to continue to work but don’t want to send the baby to daycare maybe they should look to their own families to assist rather than the ex wife they both crapped all over when they started the affair which broke up her family. The new girlfriend obviously has family as they were able to write bad reviews about her business on the internet.
The audacity of him, and especially her, to demand you raise their child for them! That is so insulting! Neither one of them is willing to do it yet they expect you, of all people, to do it? They are horrible sociopaths with no ability to feel empathy. I wouldn't want a jerk like that anywhere near my kids.
Reading some of the antidotes here & other places online has confirmed for me that there are insanely entitled, crazy people in the world. Why in the world would the preggo gf even WANT her new bf's ex watching her kid?? And even more so, how the hell can you even expect that to be a valid option. People are cray.
"taking some time away" Wanna bet? I hope that baby mama is going to be happy to jump on the opportunity of babysitting his latest kid in the near future. For $200/week, obvs.
Wow... I mean I wouldn't trust my Ex Wife with a newborn if I remarried... Hell I don't really trust her with our own children!
Not fair to vote them down, none of us know the full circumstances
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A dollar says he's currently cheated with new woman number 3. His total delusion about his current GF ending her career to be a stay at home wifey (when he's been playing poor broke dude!) and his self-absorbed callousness with how he treats both women as long as he gets what he wants, he seems like the type to totally bail the second a woman stops being convenient and focused on him.
Could you imagine if anything happened to that child if the OP was looking after it? Tiny things like a bruise or a graze that are natural parts of childhood. Mother of The Year would be calling the police saying the op neglected her child in favour of hers. Absolutely no way should they have even asked. The ex seems to like having his cake and eating it, as they say. Pop home to the woman he's divorcing and have a night of sex with her before bouncing back to the new model. What a delight he must be. Btw, can you imagine the conversation that went on between her and her friends and family? I need you to write totally made up stories about this business. Sure, Babe, what did she do? Well, just because I stole her husband after cheating with him behind her back, she won't babysit our kid. That's outrageous, I'll get right on it.....
They made the bed. Now they need to lie in it. OP has her sh*t together and doesn't need their drama. Tell them to jog on and keep you out of their nonsense.
NTA. Tell them you will babysit for their child for $1000 a day paid in advance for 30 days. In cash. Before you babysit the first time.
Totally on board that it's crazy of them to ask that and totally she's NTA because whatever, it's not her responsibility to care for anyone else's child she doesn't want to but...being with another person before divorce isn't cheating. You split up, divorce takes time and is simply a legal issue, emotionally your relationship is over as soon as you break up, then you're free to see anyone else you want, no matter how soon and no matter how your ex feels about it. Marriage isn't ownership, she has no grounds to be pissed that her ex moved on before she was ready or before the divorce was final, that's all she actually knows for a fact. She also has no grounds to be pissed that he chose the other women when she found she was pregnant, that was his choice, that woman was sleeping with a single guy, it's not her fault if he's a snake that's still going to string along his ex wife.
I'm not trying to sound like a b...h but if this story is exactly the way you're saying you're somewhat of a fool for carrying on that conversation for more than 30secs. Otherwise not the Ah
NTA at all and his request is way out of line, especially as he was cheating. BUT I can kind of see the logic. The kids are half-siblings and she is already looking at the other siblings, so if he were willing to pay her to 800+ per week that a professional nanny would be getting to have his new kid/their kids's half-sibling in the mix it would be a win win situation. Shame the man child didn't act with respect.
The "other siblings" are HER children. Also, they aren't newborn babies, at age 4 and 6 they don't require the kind of constant care that an infant does. There's a reason why daycares charge more money for infants.
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Let me guess - you've never tried to work a full time job while taking care of an infant. Looking after a child in the newborn-to-12-month age range involves a LOT more than just "watching" them. Also, did you miss that LW works a job as well, from home? It's not as if she has nothing else to do.
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Some people have wild expectations. I cheated with your husband and stole him from you... can you watch our baby every day though? Doesn't affect your workday at all right?
These are the crazy things that narcissists asks of their sources all the time. He obviously still thinks that he has a strong enough hold over her. And as for the new girlfriend, she's either a fellow narcissist or a very deluded new source, possibly the first with all of the malicious activity she instigated against OP on Google through her friends and family. What kind of morons would even suggest that someone they shat on, by cheating with each other and getting pregnant, should watch that child. I'd be worried about retaliation in this day and age. They've clearly lost their minds. Aside from the fact that OP appears to be well adjusted and not in that frame of mind. She stated that she still has feelings for her ex. There's some crazy people out here and the last person I'd ask to watch my newborn is a person who may feel vindictive towards me. It's just madness...
Load More Replies... "She asked why I thought my kids were better than hers." Between that and the retaliatory behavior, I would be VERY concerned about new girlfriend taking out her resentment on OP's kids when they're over there.
Let‘s just hope the Dad does not leave them alone with her. He seams to be an ok Father, apart from everything else
Load More Replies... Agreed. But I’m also not convinced that OP is out of The Doormat Woods yet: she’s obv still in love with him and the kids guarantee that he will never completely be out of her life. And he KNOWS it. I can already see him convincing her to justify taking him back “for the kids”. I do hope she stays strong tho - it’s a tough path to walk.
Load More Replies... She asked why I thought my kids were better than hers ... because they are! Even though she didn't say it, the girlfriend did, to the OP, her kids are my important (to her) just like the new baby will be more important (to girlfriend). OP doesn't have to treat the children on an equal basis just because they share the same sperm donor!
Your ex still expects you to look after him and cater to his needs. Stop all conversation with him other than what is directly related to the kids. Don’t listen to his confidences abou his problems with his gf and do not take him back, even temporarily. Also, check out Chump Lady because she describes your ex exactly.
Ok.....F**K that stupid ex.-husband and his dumb-a*s knocked-up girlfriend for even thinking of asking her to be a babysitter. Wish I could tell them both to their stupid faces what pathetic losers they are.
The girlfriend got family and friends involved too, to pile a sense of guilt. Can't see how not wanting to babysit a cheating couples crotch goblin is supposed to engender a sense of guilt myself but then I'm not batshit crazy entitled and psycho.
Load More Replies... Divorced. Half sibling on way from ex an new gf. Wants op to be free aka $200 a week babysitter while running her own biz and also prob expects ops parents to freely babysit too. Wtf. Change your locks. Go to that court hearing head high. Regardless if you banged him one last time it's nothing. She's the one who took your place in his life. He knows what birth control is. He's an adult. Get a protective order against her too. Just let the kids see their dad and hope she doesn't treat them badly or fill their heads with "your mom don't want you to know your new sibling" drama. If anything ask the court to have him have supervised visitation because you are concerned that could happen too.
1/2 This is just bonkers, I simply cannot believe the sheer audacity of that utter harpy. She was knowingly having an affair with a married man, which was the reason for the divorce, got pregnant while he was still married and asks the ex wife to babysit the result of their affair?? It's not the child's fault at all but good grief, that must've been the most painful question to be asked. And then not only does she herself but her friends and family act totally unhinged when, obviously, she's told no! I wouldn't want my children to be around a woman like that.
2/2 The accusation, which is entirely reasonable if true, of the ex wife thinking her own children are better, doesn't fill me with confidence that this revolting woman will treat them nicely/equally at all, especially when the husband isn’t around. So many red flags. The husband is a manipulative scumbag and the poor ex wife shouldn’t have anything to do with him apart from co-parenting the two children they have together as best and as amicably as they can. Everything and everybody else is irrelevant to her. I really really hope the awful mistress doesn’t go on a revenge rampage or something, it sounds like she’s entirely capable.
After all the drama went down the man disappeared? Dude's probably already got baby mama number 3 on the go. Once a cheat always a chest. Man acting like he's gonna repopulate after the apocalypse.
She needs to set firm boundaries with her ex husband. She needs space to move on from this piece of literal sewer waste and she needs to build some self confidence. You can coparent without being friendly. And I would be livid if my ex husband had my kids around fresh and immature girlfriends like that. I would save any and all negative interactions with the father and girlfriend in a log and bring it to court to petition for increased custody and limitations around visits.
I could understand babysitting the ex's new kid. But only if it was an amicable breakup. No cheating involved, both parties could comfortably sit down and be friendly without the possibility of a fight or make-up sex. After all, the existing kids would be half-siblings with the new one. So they're going to be spending time together anyway. But the fact this breakup is messy, there was cheating and it's still a fresh and bloody wound... oh hell no. That's inevitably going to be a problem.
90% of the time this reddit stuff is... my exs SO in in the hospital and i know its a medical emergency and a few days but not my kid not my problem. I never agree with that. Be a good human. But in this case, the pregnant gf is out of line. Even with being paid 200$ itll Absolutely affect her work at home still. Big no. And she wasnt even rude.
Given a 40 hour work week, $200 amounts to $5 an hour. Even teenage babysitters get more than that.
Load More Replies... Sure, I'll take care of your child. Teach them rhymes like "Daddy is a cheater and mommy is a meanie." Pretty soon the child will call me Unkie Bronzie and will always ask to stay over. Then I am the fun uncle and child will slowly learn to have mom and dad. Pretty they grow up and hate mom and dad and see me as their adoptive parent. /s
I am truly astonished that her ex thinks that because she works from home and takes care of their 2 and 4 year old children with help from her parents he really believes that adding his newborn child will not make a difference! The newborn will add many hours of extra time taken out of her working day, the child is nothing to do with her or her parents and they are offering her $5 an hour! If they both want to continue to work but don’t want to send the baby to daycare maybe they should look to their own families to assist rather than the ex wife they both crapped all over when they started the affair which broke up her family. The new girlfriend obviously has family as they were able to write bad reviews about her business on the internet.
The audacity of him, and especially her, to demand you raise their child for them! That is so insulting! Neither one of them is willing to do it yet they expect you, of all people, to do it? They are horrible sociopaths with no ability to feel empathy. I wouldn't want a jerk like that anywhere near my kids.
Reading some of the antidotes here & other places online has confirmed for me that there are insanely entitled, crazy people in the world. Why in the world would the preggo gf even WANT her new bf's ex watching her kid?? And even more so, how the hell can you even expect that to be a valid option. People are cray.
"taking some time away" Wanna bet? I hope that baby mama is going to be happy to jump on the opportunity of babysitting his latest kid in the near future. For $200/week, obvs.
Wow... I mean I wouldn't trust my Ex Wife with a newborn if I remarried... Hell I don't really trust her with our own children!
Not fair to vote them down, none of us know the full circumstances
Load More Replies... A dollar says he's currently cheated with new woman number 3. His total delusion about his current GF ending her career to be a stay at home wifey (when he's been playing poor broke dude!) and his self-absorbed callousness with how he treats both women as long as he gets what he wants, he seems like the type to totally bail the second a woman stops being convenient and focused on him.
Could you imagine if anything happened to that child if the OP was looking after it? Tiny things like a bruise or a graze that are natural parts of childhood. Mother of The Year would be calling the police saying the op neglected her child in favour of hers. Absolutely no way should they have even asked. The ex seems to like having his cake and eating it, as they say. Pop home to the woman he's divorcing and have a night of sex with her before bouncing back to the new model. What a delight he must be. Btw, can you imagine the conversation that went on between her and her friends and family? I need you to write totally made up stories about this business. Sure, Babe, what did she do? Well, just because I stole her husband after cheating with him behind her back, she won't babysit our kid. That's outrageous, I'll get right on it.....
They made the bed. Now they need to lie in it. OP has her sh*t together and doesn't need their drama. Tell them to jog on and keep you out of their nonsense.
NTA. Tell them you will babysit for their child for $1000 a day paid in advance for 30 days. In cash. Before you babysit the first time.
Totally on board that it's crazy of them to ask that and totally she's NTA because whatever, it's not her responsibility to care for anyone else's child she doesn't want to but...being with another person before divorce isn't cheating. You split up, divorce takes time and is simply a legal issue, emotionally your relationship is over as soon as you break up, then you're free to see anyone else you want, no matter how soon and no matter how your ex feels about it. Marriage isn't ownership, she has no grounds to be pissed that her ex moved on before she was ready or before the divorce was final, that's all she actually knows for a fact. She also has no grounds to be pissed that he chose the other women when she found she was pregnant, that was his choice, that woman was sleeping with a single guy, it's not her fault if he's a snake that's still going to string along his ex wife.
I'm not trying to sound like a b...h but if this story is exactly the way you're saying you're somewhat of a fool for carrying on that conversation for more than 30secs. Otherwise not the Ah
NTA at all and his request is way out of line, especially as he was cheating. BUT I can kind of see the logic. The kids are half-siblings and she is already looking at the other siblings, so if he were willing to pay her to 800+ per week that a professional nanny would be getting to have his new kid/their kids's half-sibling in the mix it would be a win win situation. Shame the man child didn't act with respect.
The "other siblings" are HER children. Also, they aren't newborn babies, at age 4 and 6 they don't require the kind of constant care that an infant does. There's a reason why daycares charge more money for infants.
Load More Replies... Let me guess - you've never tried to work a full time job while taking care of an infant. Looking after a child in the newborn-to-12-month age range involves a LOT more than just "watching" them. Also, did you miss that LW works a job as well, from home? It's not as if she has nothing else to do.
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