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Woman Turns Sister’s Life Upside Down, Can’t Believe She Won’t Forgive Her: “She’ll Never Suffer Enough”
When life tests us with heartbreak, we often rely on our family for support. But sometimes, the people who are supposed to stand by our side become the very source of our deepest pain.
There’s a new post on the subreddit r/Relationship_Advice by a woman whose sister got pregnant by her husband. After the affair came to light, everyone around her has been pressuring her to forgive her sibling and her ex—but she simply can’t.
So now, she’s wondering whether it’s time to walk away from them all.
RELATED:
Betrayal cuts deeper when it comes from the people you love
Image credits: gpointstudio / Envato (not the actual photo)
This woman is stuck between forgiving her sister for sleeping with her husband and losing the rest of her family
Image credits: Garakta-Studio / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ThrowRAMPerspective
It would be interesting to hear how the woman’s mother expects the family to function after all this
Abe Kass is a registered marriage and family therapist and the author of Surviving Infidelity: Making Amends, Restoring Trust, Finding Forgiveness, and Living Together Happily for the Rest of Your Lives.
“It’s no surprise that husbands do sleep with sisters-in-law, wives sleep with brothers-in-law, and cousins, nieces, nephews, and other relatives find themselves physically and emotionally drawn to extended family members,” he says.
But even if it “makes sense” on a theoretical level, infidelity is still a huge body blow whenever it arises.
“Throw into the traumatic mix the impact that all-in-the-family infidelity has on children, grandparents, other siblings, and other close family and friends, and even wise King Solomon would be challenged to disentangle and set right what two individuals, momentarily blinded to any need but their own, wreak,” Kass adds.
Even if our Redditor decided to turn the other cheek, it’s still unclear whether everyone would be pleased with the new status quo.
Imagine all the dinners, trips, and family gatherings. There would be plenty of unpleasant and awkward situations, and they would require not just her but also the whole family to come face-to-face with what happened for years to come—likely for the rest of their lives. Is it possible to do so without feeling hurt and bitterness at each encounter?
That would be quite the ask.
After her story went viral, the woman joined the discussion in the comments
People continue sharing their thoughts and advice on her situation
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What do you think ?
Paul C 10 hours ago
I would start by asking both brothers individually how they would feel if their wife/gf was knocked up by their brother. That might just bash some sense into them. With the parents, it is probably too late, as I smell the stench of golden child. Though it might just be fear of wider family finding out (in which case, I would spread the gospel to anyone who would listen).
Heffalump 10 hours ago (edited)
People talk about forgiveness as if it's synonymous with 'forgive and forget'. Except people aren't built to forget. Forgiveness has two parts: First, letting go of anger and bitterness, which we do for our own sakes, because that stuff's toxic to have in our thoughts, and Second, rebuilding a relationship with the other person, which may not always be possible, because we _do_ remember, and even if they are genuinely remorseful, sometimes we know something about their character we didn't know before. Third parties trying to force someone to act as though nothing has happened are refusing to deal with reality for the sake of their own comfort, and they are being cruel to the innocent party while they do it. In this case OP has a despicable sister and a cruel and heartless family: she will be better off without them in her life.
Paul C 10 hours ago
I would start by asking both brothers individually how they would feel if their wife/gf was knocked up by their brother. That might just bash some sense into them. With the parents, it is probably too late, as I smell the stench of golden child. Though it might just be fear of wider family finding out (in which case, I would spread the gospel to anyone who would listen).
Heffalump 10 hours ago (edited)
People talk about forgiveness as if it's synonymous with 'forgive and forget'. Except people aren't built to forget. Forgiveness has two parts: First, letting go of anger and bitterness, which we do for our own sakes, because that stuff's toxic to have in our thoughts, and Second, rebuilding a relationship with the other person, which may not always be possible, because we _do_ remember, and even if they are genuinely remorseful, sometimes we know something about their character we didn't know before. Third parties trying to force someone to act as though nothing has happened are refusing to deal with reality for the sake of their own comfort, and they are being cruel to the innocent party while they do it. In this case OP has a despicable sister and a cruel and heartless family: she will be better off without them in her life.
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