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Woman Buys Concert Tickets 6 Months In Advance, Gets Called Selfish For Not Canceling It Last Minute
Woman refuses to babysit sister's kids, showing frustration and refusal during a tense family discussion at home.

Woman Buys Concert Tickets 6 Months In Advance, Gets Called Selfish For Not Canceling It Last Minute

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It’s important to support your loved ones. But your family can’t demand that you constantly put your plans on the back burner, and do them favors at the drop of a hat. Sometimes, it’s healthy to say “no.” And yet, your relatives might not take that “no” for an answer.

The ‘Am I The Jerk’ online community weighed in on one woman’s family drama after she spilled her heart online. She opened up about why she decided to go to a long-awaited concert, instead of babysitting for her desperate sister. You’ll find the full dramatic story below. Scroll down to find out what happened and what the internet thinks of the argument.

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    Helping your relatives out is one thing, but when you’re dealing with someone entitled, you might find that they don’t respect your time

    Image credits: photoroyalty (not the actual image)

    This woman’s family was furious that she refused to babysit her sister’s kids at the last minute because she had already made important plans

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    Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection (not the actual image)

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    Image credits: vailery (not the actual image)

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    Image credits: Important_Carry1095

    You can’t constantly set your needs aside. You need to prioritize your well-being, and a part of that means saying “no” from time to time

    As they say, “a lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.” If you care about someone, you have to respect their time, energy, and resources, too. It’s unfair to be called selfish for having a life.

    While it would be fantastic if your loved ones could help you out with babysitting when things go wrong at the last moment, it would be unfair to demand it from them. You have to be conscious of your family and friends when they enforce basic boundaries and say, “no, I’m busy.”

    Being genuinely busy is a good excuse to avoid doing someone a last-minute favor. Not that you need an excuse to say “no” and go through with your plans!

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    You’ve been looking forward to an event for months! Why should you miss out on some awesome opportunities because, through no fault of your own, someone else’s plans have fallen through? Why should you miss out on an expensive event because a babysitter cancelled and your sibling doesn’t have a backup plan? Why should you have to take on that financial burden?

    There are so many ways that the woman could have tried to solve the problem after her babysitter canceled, instead of blaming her sister for being ‘selfish.’

    For one, she could have asked her other relatives, friends, coworkers, or neighbors for help. She could have tried to get in touch with other babysitters through recommendations.

    She could have even reached out to a professional babysitting service and asked them if they could organize someone to look after the kids because it’s an emergency. Naturally, that would cost more, but if it’s a real emergency, then money isn’t an issue.

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    As a last-ditch effort, she could have gotten in touch with the happy couple’s relatives and asked them if there’s any way that they could bring their kids with them to the event. They might have been told “no” (some weddings are child-free), but some organizers actually do offer professional babysitting services at the event.

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    Image credits: prostock-studio (not the actual image)

    Family members should respect each other’s boundaries. When someone refuses to do you a favor, it doesn’t mean that they don’t love you

    Healthy boundaries should be non-negotiable in all relationships. Yes, including in your family ones. Boundaries are incredibly positive things and offer tons of upsides, such as better self-esteem and well-being, encouraging trust, and allowing you to feel secure and loved.

    What’s more, Verywell Mind explains that boundaries help people cope with stress, encourage others to engage in healthy behaviors, and provide social support. They also encourage the development of values and personal responsibility.

    In short, boundaries help you avoid feeling constantly stressed, exhausted, emotionally drained, and conflicted. Meanwhile, a lack of respected boundaries can even lead to health issues.

    According to research, strong and healthy families have six qualities in common: appreciation and affection, commitment, positive communication, time spent together, strong coping skills, and spiritual well-being.

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    It’s impossible to agree with everything all the time. However, healthy families are kind and respectful of other opinions than their own.

    “Conflict is virtually inevitable in any relationship, but there are healthy ways of dealing with it. For instance, if you know that you and your family member disagree over religion or politics, try to stick to more neutral topics. Likewise, if your family member has some negative traits that really rub you the wrong way, focus on the positives instead,” Verywell Mind explains.

    Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)

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    Being empathetic and an active listener doesn’t mean that you should give in to other people’s entitled behavior

    “Listening and being empathetic whenever you can is crucial. But don’t be a doormat either. It’s fine to be assertive and let family members know when they have crossed a line. And, if the conversation is spiraling out of control, know when to take a timeout. With a little hard work, you may be able to have a respectful conversation with your family members, even when you don’t see eye to eye.”

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    In the meantime, if there’s family drama going on, you should try to avoid it and let your relatives know that you don’t want to participate in it. If you’re uncomfortable with a certain conversation, let them know!

    Of course, all of this drama can be difficult to avoid if you’re dealing with someone overly entitled.

    Some of the main signs of entitled behavior are things like a need for special treatment, excessive demands, expecting others to do things for you, and prioritizing your needs over everyone else’s.

    Moreover, entitled individuals tend to be very melodramatic, ungrateful, have a victim mentality, need constant praise, and feel secretly insecure.

    How would you react if a relative suddenly demanded you babysit for them, without giving you a proper heads up, when you already had plans that day? How do you maintain healthy boundaries in your family? Share your thoughts in the comments.

    Image credits: rawpixel.com (not the actual image)

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    Here’s how the internet reacted to the family drama. Most people were wildly supportive of the author

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    Jonas Grinevičius

    Jonas Grinevičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

    Read more »

    Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real.At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design.In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle.I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

    Read less »
    Jonas Grinevičius

    Jonas Grinevičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

    Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real.At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design.In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle.I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

    What do you think ?
    Paul C
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah, the foul stench of the golden child. Blessy has been looking forward to her party for months, which is important. OP has been looking forward to her concert for months, but that's not important. I would say this is rage bait, but I've been in that situation, so I know it exists.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same XD When I was younger and birthdays were more important to me, I saw it happen over and over with my family. Sister had something planned on my birthday or the weekend of my birthday, even though I'd had plans to have a party/go out to eat with my family? Whoops, sorry, sister's plans are more important than your birthday! You can celebrate your birthday ANY day! I watched it happen over and over until I finally just gave up. My family did too - last year I mentioned in passing that my birthday was approaching and my mom goes "wait WHAT? WHEN is your birthday?" Sigh. My birthday is actually this weekend (the 22nd) and I haven't said a thing to my family. It'll be interesting to see if ANY of them even remember it's my birthday. I'll report back if I remember to XD

    Load More Replies...
    BewilderedBanana
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP was accused that she cares more about "some stupid singer" than about her own family? Not exactly. It's more that she cares more about herself, what makes her happy and enjoying something she's been looking forward to for months, than whether her sister gets to go to a party instead. Seems pretty reasonable to me

    Trillian
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You could just as well argue that the sister cared more about some stupid wedding. If there had been a genuine emergency, it would be a different thing. But one sister should give up her (expensive) evening plans so the actual parents don't have to? No.

    Load More Replies...
    Emilu
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A wedding is not an emergency. Someone being rushed to the ER is am emergency. It's not like someone says on the day of a wedding, "hey, please rock up! The world will cave in if you don't come!" I hope OP enjoyed her concert, took lots of pictures and posted them all over SM just to rub it in. (I might be petty like that at times).

    Jessica Daus-Warner
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. You don't owe anyone your time because they have kids and you don't. You're not responsible for your sister's choices, and your plans are just as important. Having child care and missing events are part of being a parent. You don't just get to throw your kids on others.

    DC
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. This isn't even a question worth asking, because it's so much, so clear, so unmistakably obvious that she is nowhere near any exhaust orifices. Actually, this is so much so that I'd be worried if OP even has an AH at all!

    Luke || Kira (he/she)
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My advice: always prioritize a concert. Take a day off work, call off any other obligation. Don't think about money, you'll earn them again later. Just go. I've seen Linkin Park live in 2017 and Chester died literally WEEKS later; it was one of his very last shows. I'd never forgive myself if I didn't go that time.

    Mike F
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Plot twist; the original babysitter decided to go to the same concert as OP. 😂

    Granny's Thoughts
    Community Member
    Premium
    14 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You don't need to give or have a reason for not babysitting. Unavailable, or NO is all you need to say. Your mother and sister are NOT entitled to your time. It was nasty of them ton press the issue after you had told sister no. Attending a wedding is never an emergency.

    WonderWoman
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is made up. No way would the mother not step in so the entitled daughter couldn't make a wedding but would call OP and berate her.

    Khavrinen
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Like I always say, anyone who uses the phrase "Family helps family" is really saying "I expect you to help me, even though you can be 100% certain I will never help you".

    JL
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Time to let sis know NO more babysitting until she starts respecting OP's life.

    Jenna Kay
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son and DIL often need me to babysit short notice, but they always ASK. I have had to tell them I am not available a few times. They don't get mad, they understand that I DO have a life!

    Julie S
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unfortunately this is what you have to think about when you have children, you are going to miss out on things. Your whole life is going to revolve around these little parasites for a lot of years.

    Ronja Oksanen
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How is this even a question?! 🤦🏼‍♀️ 🤦🏼‍♀️

    UnclePanda
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Set an hourly rate for crises. $300 seems apropo. Decline all other requests.

    DEE RAVEN
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wouldn't be available to babysit for awhile. Her time is just as important as the sister's

    Sarah
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What’s going to happen when your parents are elderly and need care? Will that all be left on your shoulders too?

    Dave Macbeth
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The sister sounds manipulative to me

    Andrei Iepure
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    should have asked for 1k and missed the concert

    Ben
    Community Member
    1 day ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I stopped paying attention when I saw the ticket price. That should be the main issue with this story.

    Earonn -
    Community Member
    1 day ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    The "entitled parents try to take advantage of sibling" stories get a bit boring. Is that really all one can find to copy and paste from Reddit? Jonas, come on, earn your money.

    Ace
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 days ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Gotta be ragebait. Just too black and white. too OTT, with juicy extras ike "didn;t even ask" and everybody blaming her. Either complete fiction or an exaggerated extrapolation from a slight disagreement. You could imagine the sister being desperate, and annoyed that having been left in the lurch by the sitter her back-up plan won't work out either, but the rest of it is beyond my ability to suspend disbelief.

    Paul C
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The last minute drop off does sound a bit fake, but the mother's reaction of only caring about one daughter's plans could have been written by my mother, so that's completely believable (though my wife has only started believing in that level of golden child favouritism since she has met my family and seen it in action).

    Load More Replies...
    Paul C
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah, the foul stench of the golden child. Blessy has been looking forward to her party for months, which is important. OP has been looking forward to her concert for months, but that's not important. I would say this is rage bait, but I've been in that situation, so I know it exists.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same XD When I was younger and birthdays were more important to me, I saw it happen over and over with my family. Sister had something planned on my birthday or the weekend of my birthday, even though I'd had plans to have a party/go out to eat with my family? Whoops, sorry, sister's plans are more important than your birthday! You can celebrate your birthday ANY day! I watched it happen over and over until I finally just gave up. My family did too - last year I mentioned in passing that my birthday was approaching and my mom goes "wait WHAT? WHEN is your birthday?" Sigh. My birthday is actually this weekend (the 22nd) and I haven't said a thing to my family. It'll be interesting to see if ANY of them even remember it's my birthday. I'll report back if I remember to XD

    Load More Replies...
    BewilderedBanana
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP was accused that she cares more about "some stupid singer" than about her own family? Not exactly. It's more that she cares more about herself, what makes her happy and enjoying something she's been looking forward to for months, than whether her sister gets to go to a party instead. Seems pretty reasonable to me

    Trillian
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You could just as well argue that the sister cared more about some stupid wedding. If there had been a genuine emergency, it would be a different thing. But one sister should give up her (expensive) evening plans so the actual parents don't have to? No.

    Load More Replies...
    Emilu
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A wedding is not an emergency. Someone being rushed to the ER is am emergency. It's not like someone says on the day of a wedding, "hey, please rock up! The world will cave in if you don't come!" I hope OP enjoyed her concert, took lots of pictures and posted them all over SM just to rub it in. (I might be petty like that at times).

    Jessica Daus-Warner
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. You don't owe anyone your time because they have kids and you don't. You're not responsible for your sister's choices, and your plans are just as important. Having child care and missing events are part of being a parent. You don't just get to throw your kids on others.

    DC
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. This isn't even a question worth asking, because it's so much, so clear, so unmistakably obvious that she is nowhere near any exhaust orifices. Actually, this is so much so that I'd be worried if OP even has an AH at all!

    Luke || Kira (he/she)
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My advice: always prioritize a concert. Take a day off work, call off any other obligation. Don't think about money, you'll earn them again later. Just go. I've seen Linkin Park live in 2017 and Chester died literally WEEKS later; it was one of his very last shows. I'd never forgive myself if I didn't go that time.

    Mike F
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Plot twist; the original babysitter decided to go to the same concert as OP. 😂

    Granny's Thoughts
    Community Member
    Premium
    14 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You don't need to give or have a reason for not babysitting. Unavailable, or NO is all you need to say. Your mother and sister are NOT entitled to your time. It was nasty of them ton press the issue after you had told sister no. Attending a wedding is never an emergency.

    WonderWoman
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is made up. No way would the mother not step in so the entitled daughter couldn't make a wedding but would call OP and berate her.

    Khavrinen
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Like I always say, anyone who uses the phrase "Family helps family" is really saying "I expect you to help me, even though you can be 100% certain I will never help you".

    JL
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Time to let sis know NO more babysitting until she starts respecting OP's life.

    Jenna Kay
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son and DIL often need me to babysit short notice, but they always ASK. I have had to tell them I am not available a few times. They don't get mad, they understand that I DO have a life!

    Julie S
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unfortunately this is what you have to think about when you have children, you are going to miss out on things. Your whole life is going to revolve around these little parasites for a lot of years.

    Ronja Oksanen
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How is this even a question?! 🤦🏼‍♀️ 🤦🏼‍♀️

    UnclePanda
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Set an hourly rate for crises. $300 seems apropo. Decline all other requests.

    DEE RAVEN
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wouldn't be available to babysit for awhile. Her time is just as important as the sister's

    Sarah
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What’s going to happen when your parents are elderly and need care? Will that all be left on your shoulders too?

    Dave Macbeth
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The sister sounds manipulative to me

    Andrei Iepure
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    should have asked for 1k and missed the concert

    Ben
    Community Member
    1 day ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I stopped paying attention when I saw the ticket price. That should be the main issue with this story.

    Earonn -
    Community Member
    1 day ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    The "entitled parents try to take advantage of sibling" stories get a bit boring. Is that really all one can find to copy and paste from Reddit? Jonas, come on, earn your money.

    Ace
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 days ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Gotta be ragebait. Just too black and white. too OTT, with juicy extras ike "didn;t even ask" and everybody blaming her. Either complete fiction or an exaggerated extrapolation from a slight disagreement. You could imagine the sister being desperate, and annoyed that having been left in the lurch by the sitter her back-up plan won't work out either, but the rest of it is beyond my ability to suspend disbelief.

    Paul C
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The last minute drop off does sound a bit fake, but the mother's reaction of only caring about one daughter's plans could have been written by my mother, so that's completely believable (though my wife has only started believing in that level of golden child favouritism since she has met my family and seen it in action).

    Load More Replies...
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