Aunt Refuses To Pay For Ex-SIL's Stepkids' Private School, Gets Called A "Cold Jerk" By BIL

Kids who grow up in blended families might experience unequal treatment. Their stepparent and their family might treat them differently, but they may also face economic disadvantages. Research shows that economic inequality can happen in the same household and is more prevalent in blended families.

After their dad got married, two kids felt it was unfair that their stepsister was being spoiled by her rich aunt. She would pay for her private school, take her on vacations to Disney, buy her other things, etc. Their dad felt that his kids deserved the same attention, but the aunt thought otherwise. She wasn’t related to them, and the kids were strangers to her – so why would she spend her money on them?

A rich woman spoiled her niece by paying for her private school, vacations, and other things

Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

After her mom got remarried, the niece’s stepsiblings felt entitled to the same treatment as well

Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Ok_Sir_8922

Most parents consistently favor their biological children over their stepchildren

Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

In an ideal family, all kids should be treated equally; and, of course, every kid wishes they were. However, the reality is often different. Even in non-blended families, some children experience preferential treatment while others live in the shadow of the golden child.

However, such situations are much more prevalent in blended families. It’s not just attention or love that parents dole out more to their biological children – a stepchild is much more likely to receive less financial help than their siblings.

According to a 2015 study, stepchildren are disadvantaged in receiving financial help from parents. This story also reflects another finding: the stepchildren of the wife are more likely to receive less help than biological children. The researchers posit that it is because mothers have more evolutionary incentives to care for their biological children over their stepkids.

In this particular story, the mother isn’t the one to pamper her daughter with a lavish lifestyle – it’s her aunt. Nevertheless, the mother sides with her ex-sister-in-law, and the father has to be the one advocating for his children to get the same treatment and opportunities.

While it might sound fair, George’s demand doesn’t reflect real-world behavior. Some stepparents don’t mind providing their stepchildren with the same level of financial assistance as their biological children. However, that depends on how strong the relationships are, whether all family members live together and the parents are married, and how much competition between stepchildren and biological children there is in other areas of the household.

The sister-in-law and the aunt aren’t monsters for not wanting to treat the stepchildren equally to Grace. Researchers consistently find that parents tend to prioritize their biological children over stepchildren. While that may sound unfair, it is what sociologists observe, and it also explains why George is fighting for them to have a better life.

Children are very sensitive to unequal treatment, even in blended families

Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Opinions on the matter in this story might differ. Some may think (like the majority of the commenters did) that the rich aunt doesn’t owe anything to her step-nephew and step-niece, who are practically strangers to her. Others might think she’s a jerk for not helping them when she obviously can.

But what about the kids’ perspective? Are they justified in their jealousy? Are they being unreasonable to expect that a step-aunt with whom they share no DNA and don’t have a close relationship with will pamper them with a lavish lifestyle?

One thing is clear: preferential treatment leads to behavioral problems and poor mental health outcomes. Children expect to be treated equally no matter their familial situation. While they may not feel the same about their stepmother as they do about their biological mother, they still want to be treated like their step-siblings.

Even in non-blended families, children are very sensitive to unequal treatment. Research shows that parents tend to favor older siblings, daughters (because they think they are easier to parent), and those who are more careful in life.

In blended families, these feelings get amplified. In one study, researchers found that stepchildren get along better with biological siblings and half-siblings. Jealousy of step-siblings, anger towards their biological parent for unequal treatment and breaking up the original family, and rejection of the new partner and their kids are all feelings that a child might experience.

It’s no surprise that the stepchildren in this story feel left out. It’s up to the parents to agree upon boundaries and communicate them to the kids so no resentment builds and the children don’t have to experience another family breakup.

“I barely see the stepsiblings now,” the aunt justified her stance

Commenters sided with the aunt: “Those kids are not your responsibility”

However, some felt that she was the jerk: “You’re making two kids feel bad”

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