“AITA For Leaving In The Middle Of Lunch Because I Didn’t Want To Continue The Conversation?”

If your child has any developmental challenges, such as speech delays, be prepared for criticism of your parenting from the most unexpected people. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about – my two older daughters also had speech delays. And it was actually damn frustrating to hear unfair criticism from relatives who weren’t even close to knowing all the details.

The user u/thronedownandout, the author of today’s story, also faced something similar when her own mother criticized her for the fact that her three-year-old son isn’t that talkative for his age. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves in reading the tale.

More info: Reddit

The author of the post has a 3-year-old son whom she loves very much, and she does her best to raise him properly

Mom smiling with toddler, taking a selfie in a cozy room, highlighting family bond despite non-talkative behavior concerns.

Image credits: Kampus Production / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The only problem here is that the boy isn’t that talkative and usually prefers to communicate with gestures

Text discussing a mother with a 3-year-old son who loves being carried.

Text discussing concerns about a 3-year-old being non-talkative, seeking speech therapy, and learning sign language.

Text praising a curious and smart child while a mother expresses pride and love.

Text message discussing child's non-talkative behavior and grandmother's reaction.

Image credits: thronedownandout

Elderly woman in a pink shirt looks thoughtful, arms crossed, against a grey wall.

Image credits: SHVETS production / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The mom is aware of all the possible problems here and is actively searching for a speech therapist

Text describing a family dining at a restaurant, discussing meal choices and ordering.

Text discussing concerns about a non-talkative 3-year-old and parenting advice, implying parental neglect.

Text discussing a family conflict about a non-talkative 3-year-old, highlighting issues of neglect and communication.

Text message criticizing mother's handling of non-talkative 3-year-old, causing her to leave lunch abruptly.

Image credits: thronedownandout

People talking in a dimly lit restaurant, conveying a contemplative atmosphere.

Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)

However, her own mother thinks that she is wrong for letting the kid communicate how he wants

Text questioning decision to leave after grandparents comment on neglectful parenting of non-talkative child.

Text discussing a child's speech development, parental actions, and consulting a pediatrician.

Text discussing a non-talkative 3-year-old using sign language and flashcards, without involvement from the biological dad.

Text discussing mother's actions for non-talkative son amid neglect claims.

Text discussing a 3-year-old's verbal skills, with focus on vocabulary and speaking frequency.

Image credits: thronedownandout

Recently, at a family gathering, the grandma started criticizing the author again – and she ended up just leaving

So, the Original Poster (OP) is 24 years old. She’s a single mom to her 3-year-old son ‘Cass,’ and she’s happily raising him. The boy is very smart and, according to his mom, the only thing that bothers her is that for his age, Cass is not very willing to talk. No, he understands everything, he knows a lot of words, but he prefers to communicate with gestures.

The author believes that this is not a problem, and their pediatrician also agrees with her, but she is still looking for a speech therapist, and in the meantime, she is studying sign language with Cass. In turn, the author’s mother has long been ready to sound the alarm about this, and always tries to literally force her grandson to communicate with speech, even if it’s uncomfortable for him.

Another drama on this matter broke out recently during a family lunch, where the author’s stepdad, her stepbrother and his family (in particular, his son, a year older than Cass) were also present.

While ordering food, another boy told the waiter what he wanted, while Cass pointed at the menu. The OP’s mom and stepdad again began loudly comparing the communication skills of their two grandkids – not in Cass’s favor – and this angered our heroine.

She simply paid for her order and, taking the food with her, left with her son. And when her mom later called her and criticized her for her “disrespectful behavior,” she objected that if anyone was disrespectful in this situation, it was the mother and her husband themselves, discussing the little kids in their presence.

Another quarrel followed, during which the mom told the original poster that she was doing her son a disservice by allowing him to communicate in a way that was only comfortable for him. So the author decided to ask people online for advice on how right she was doing in general, and in this case in particular.

A child in a dimly lit room, crossing fingers to make an "X" gesture, representing non-talkative behavior concerns.

Image credits: Markus Spiske / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Experts say that on average, by the age of three, a child should already be able to speak in short sentences, and relatives and family members should easily understand most of what they say. The opposite situation, however, is not necessarily related to speech delay – however, any diagnosis and identification of the causes of the current situation is the sole responsibility of a doctor.

“In any case, it is necessary to develop speech skills for a child – because this is the basic level of communication,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. “At the same time, reluctance to speak may indicate certain issues – for example, selective mutism. But this, in any case, should only be recorded by a doctor.”

“Be that as it may, the very fact that this mother says that she is looking for a speech therapist indicates that she’s trying to resolve this issue for her child. At the same time, despite the grandmother’s concern being quite understandable, her methods actually raise questions. For example, comparing two children directly in their presence is, to put it mildly, unpedagogical.”

“So in this particular situation, the mother did the right thing by cutting off discussions about her child that were unpleasant to her and probably to him. The rest is details. I hope that she will be able to find a good speech therapist who will help her son and that everything will be fine with them. The most important thing is that she has a sincere desire to take care of her child,” Irina concludes.

People in the comments also gave the original poster their full support, although some commenters urged the mom to pay close attention to this issue. In any case, as the commenters believe, the relatives had no right to behave as described. “You’re already a better mom than you had,” someone wrote in the comments. And what do you, our dear readers, also think about this described situation?

Most commenters supported the author but also urged her to find a speech therapist for her son as soon as possible

Reddit discussion about a non-talkative child, possibly on the autism spectrum, with supportive comments for the mother.

Reddit conversation supporting a mom against accusations of neglectful parenting.

Reddit comments about a non-talkative 3YO and parental encouragement in secure settings.

Reddit comment supporting mom against accusations of neglect, praises healthier parenting approach.

Discussion about non-talkative 3YO boy and neglect accusation on online forum.

Reddit comment from a pediatric therapist discussing non-talkative children and alternative communication methods.

Text comment discussing a non-talkative 3-year-old, suggesting that a crackdown approach is not helpful.

Comment discussing childhood speech development and success, mentioning talking for a younger sibling until age 4.

Screenshot of a supportive comment defending a non-talkative 3-year-old, mentioning proactive steps by the mom.

Forum user comments on non-talkative 3YO, supporting mom despite grandparents' views.

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