Business Owner Shares Her Foolproof Hack Of Dealing With Difficult Customers By Using A Fake Male ‘Assistant’
Interview With Author
That person you’re emailing? They might not be real! It’s awe-inspiring and scary how the internet consistently manages to surprise us, ranging from the slightly weird to the downright bizarre. And what entrepreneur, writer, and speaker Jandra Sutton shared with her TikTok followers in a pair of viral videos is both bolt-from-the-blue brilliant and a striking commentary about society.
Jandra, aka Jandralee, shared how she uses a fake white male assistant to deal with difficult customers because she herself lacks confidence. Meanwhile, Matt, her made-up assistant has his own email account and can solve a lot of problems that Jandra faces in her day-to-day working life.
Check out her videos below and let us know what you think about the idea in the comment section, dear Pandas. Creative? Ingenious? Necessary? Sad that this is a thing at all? Share your thoughts below. And be sure to read on for Bored Panda’s in-depth interview with Jandra.
More info: TikTok | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | JandraLee.com
In a viral video, entrepreneur Jandra shared how using a fake male assistant named Matt (who’s not a ‘doormat’) helps her deal with difficult customers
@jandralee##stitch with @general.caronobi Tell me you have email anxiety without telling me you have email anxiety. ##smallbusinesstips_ ##femaleentrepreneur ##fyp♬ original sound – Jandra Sutton
Jandra pointed out that, in her case, using the male assistant didn’t create much of a difference in how customers communicated. “In my experience, I was lucky. I didn’t notice much of a difference, but I know that’s not always the case. Several women commented on the video saying that they worked in male-dominated industries where they felt like they had to use a male pseudonym to be treated with respect, which is incredibly discouraging, but it goes both ways. One man commented that he used a fake female assistant for customer service because people perceived her as more ‘friendly,'” she told Bored Panda.
“I remember reading a story on social media a few years ago where a man accidentally used his female coworker’s email signature while responding to a client. The client was being incredibly difficult, and he wasn’t sure why—when he noticed the mistake in his email signature, he switched it back and re-introduced himself to the client without letting them know it was the same person… and it was an immediate change. After speaking with his coworker, they decided to switch email signatures for the next two weeks. For her? She said it was one of the best and easiest times in her professional life. For him, he said it was the worst,” Jandra explained the inspiration behind creating Matt the employee.
After her initial video went viral, she started digging deep into gender and race-based biases that people have. She found a lot of “interesting and heartbreaking” studies. “The University of Toronto, for example, did a study where they sent out thousands of resumes to employers around the country, and applicants with Chinese, Indian, or Pakistani names were 40% less likely to get an interview than those with European names. A marketing company did their own internal research on gender bias and discovered that their female team members consistently scored lower in client satisfaction… despite the fact that the performance of female-run campaigns was much higher.”
Image credits: jandralee
Image credits: jandralee
Image credits: jandralee
Bored Panda was also interested to learn more about the criticism that Jandra received. “I want to believe that some of it comes from a good place—especially the women who were worried that a trick like this would perpetuate sexism and gender bias—because no one wants this to be a thing. We don’t want to believe that bias exists, and we certainly don’t want it to be impacting us. Like I said in my video response, however, instead of blaming women for using a trick like this to help them cope with situations like these, I think it’s more important for us to look at society as a whole and how we can address the issue.”
She continued: “Because it is heartbreaking that some women feel they have to use a pseudonym in order to be heard or respected, but I’m less worried about someone doing what they feel is necessary and more concerned with the fact that gender and racial bias still thrive in our society. Instead of criticizing women for doing something that makes them feel safe in an unsafe situation, why aren’t we addressing the fact that these unsafe situations still exist?”
The entrepreneur pointed out that there are lots of different situations where using a fake assistant actually makes sense, whether for privacy or personal reasons (or just for the status symbol of actually having an assistant). “It’s not much different from using a pseudonym either, something writers have been using for generations. Even some of America’s founding fathers used pseudonyms, including Benjamin Franklin, Alexander Hamilton, Thomas Paine, and more,” she said that there’s a strong basis for doing what she did.
“Funnily enough, my mom saw the video and told me she had a fake coworker back in the 90s when she was working at a car dealership. Whenever she had to leave a message or send a letter to a customer who was late on payments, mentioning small claims, she’d send it from ‘Ruby’ so—when an angry customer called demanding to speak to Ruby—she knew what to expect. She essentially set it up where she could play ‘good cop, bad cop’ with irate customers. They’d ask to speak to Ruby (who didn’t exist), she’d immediately know why they called, and she could offer to help ‘sort the situation out for them.’ As a result, her customers were happier and her job was easier at the same time,” Jandra shared with us.
In a follow-up video, the business owner addressed some of the criticism that she got
@jandraleeReply to @rebesu Therapy IS great, but you know what’s better? A society that doesn’t make people need it. ##smallbusinesstips_ ##femalebusinessowner
♬ original sound – Jandra Sutton
Finally, we really wanted to get to grips with what drives Jandra’s passion for business, writing, and everything else. “I’ve always been obsessed with two things: telling stories and personal development. I’m a natural communicator, and I’ve always joked that I’m a human translator. It’s easy for me to translate different ideas, concepts, and information into language that other people can understand, so I’ve tried to combine that with my interest in personal development. And for me, that’s a pretty broad term. Whether it’s coping with mental health issues, productivity, personal finance, relationships, career, growing your business—my passion has always been helping people through the same struggles I’ve faced.”
She explained that this drive is exactly why she writes books, launched her podcast, and why she posts TikTok videos. “I’m not going to pretend I’m the first person to grapple with these topics and I won’t pretend that I’m perfect, that I know all of the answers, or try to sell some made-up solution that no one actually wants or needs. But if I can share my struggles with things like fear, failure, and getting [stuff] done—if my experience can help one person—then it’s worth it. I like to say that I’m speaking to the person at the back of the room. If everyone else hears me? Awesome. If not, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that the one person who needs it gets to hear it.”
And that same desire to help at least a single person is seen in how Jandra approaches business, as well. “As a creative entrepreneur, I realized that my fellow entrepreneurs and small business owners were struggling. I was working as a publicist with busy entrepreneurs who needed help juggling work, life, and everything in between, and one of my clients said she loved that I’d become her go-to ‘person.’ Whenever she needed help—whether it was marketing, graphic design, copywriting, web design—I was able to either provide the solution or connect her with the person who could, allowing her to spend more time focusing on the things she was good at. I like finding and sharing solutions, and that’s a great skill to have as an entrepreneur.”
Image credits: jandralee
Image credits: jandralee
Image credits: jandralee
Image credits: jandralee
Image credits: jandralee
Image credits: jandralee
Image credits: jandralee
According to Jandra, her fake male assistant comes in handy when she doesn’t want to sound like a ‘doormat’ (that’s why his name is Matt; fitting, isn’t it?) and needs to be firm with difficult customers.
The entrepreneur shared that she saw the trick on Twitter and absolutely loved it. “He is very good at his job,” she praised her non-existent but still incredibly helpful employee, Matt the emailer.
Despite getting some criticism for ‘letting’ men have more power by doing so, Jandra believes that nobody should be knocking the tactic if it works. It’s a way to circumvent at least some of the inequality and unfairness that female entrepreneurs like her, as well as people with confidence issues, face at work.
Meanwhile, in a follow-up video, Jandra discussed the pay gap between men and women. She highlighted that the newest research suggests that women ask for raises as often as men do, but simply don’t end up getting them. What’s more, female entrepreneurs are, allegedly, 63 percent less likely to get funding for start-ups than men.
Jandra is a strong supporter of women’s rights and female empowerment. She also has over a decade’s worth of experience in marketing, is a novelist, and has written countless articles in well-known publications, from Business Insider to Marie Claire. Oh, and she’s a yellow belt in krav maga. So we think that she might secretly be a superhero with so much energy to get everything done.
Here’s how some people reacted to the two videos. Most people were supportive of Jandra
However, others thought that the entrepreneur was perpetuating the inequality enrooted in society
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I have NEVER been able to comprehend what it is that causes people to treat women like that. It's just such an alien mind-set. And it's completely stupid and shameful that there are people who have to hear a man say something, even a fake man, to understand or believe what's being told to them.
It's subconscious and everyone does it. Even other women adn every man who thinks he's not doing that. They all still fail blind studies. It's been brainwashed into us since before we could talk.
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It's a great idea. Let the woman build her company, THEN she can worry about women empowerment in the workplace.
She also mentioned C-PTSD (complex trauma disorder) - she may have gotten that from a toxic workplace - the same way I did. Inventing an assistant can be one way to reduce its impact.
Load More Replies... I have NEVER been able to comprehend what it is that causes people to treat women like that. It's just such an alien mind-set. And it's completely stupid and shameful that there are people who have to hear a man say something, even a fake man, to understand or believe what's being told to them.
It's subconscious and everyone does it. Even other women adn every man who thinks he's not doing that. They all still fail blind studies. It's been brainwashed into us since before we could talk.
Load More Replies... It's a great idea. Let the woman build her company, THEN she can worry about women empowerment in the workplace.
She also mentioned C-PTSD (complex trauma disorder) - she may have gotten that from a toxic workplace - the same way I did. Inventing an assistant can be one way to reduce its impact.
Load More Replies...
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