Woman Reveals A Life-Changing Secret To Friend’s Fiancé, Ruins Her Friendship And Their Marriage
Many of us have, at some point, covered for a friend, whether it was sneaking them into a party under our name or keeping a little secret safe. But what happens when a friend lets your secret slip?
One woman shared how, during a drunken night out, her best friend revealed that her child wasn’t really her fiancé’s. Faced with the weight of that truth, the author decided to tell the groom-to-be right before the wedding. The fallout was massive: the couple split, and her friend turned on her, blaming her for everything. Keep reading to see how it all unfolded…
Friendships can easily fall apart when secrets are involved
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One person shared how their friend confided in them with a shocking secret
Image credits: stockbusters (Not the actual photo)
Image credits: No-Bit3854
Friendship shouldn’t feel one-sided; both people should give and receive equally
Image credits: Surface / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Friends are often the family we choose for ourselves. They’re the ones we trust with our secrets, our embarrassing stories, our wildest dreams, and sometimes even our Netflix passwords. A best friend is supposed to be someone who has your back no matter what, someone you can laugh with until your stomach hurts. But here’s the thing: while friendships can be amazing, there are also some red flags we can’t ignore. Trusting your life with a friend who doesn’t truly value you can do more harm than good. And sometimes, there are clear signs that a friendship might not be as healthy as it seems.
For instance, one of the biggest signs of an unhealthy friendship is that you can’t be yourself around them. Instead of feeling free to laugh, share your quirks, or speak your mind, you constantly feel like you’re walking on eggshells. Maybe you hold back your real thoughts because you’re afraid they’ll judge you or make you feel silly. If you can’t be yourself, that’s a huge red flag.
Another warning sign? They don’t respect your boundaries. Maybe you’ve told them you’re not comfortable with certain topics or behaviors, but they push you anyway. Or perhaps they keep showing up uninvited, borrowing your things without asking, or demanding your time when you clearly need space. Good friends respect your limits, even when they don’t fully understand them.
Sometimes, the problem isn’t what they do but how they make you feel. If you notice that you feel emotionally drained after spending time together, that’s a big sign something’s off. Friendships should leave you feeling supported and uplifted, not exhausted or stressed. Sure, everyone vents once in a while, but if every interaction leaves you with a heavy heart or a headache, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship.
You might also find that the friendship feels completely one-sided. You’re always the one checking in, making plans, or listening to their problems, but when you need them, they’re nowhere to be found. If you constantly feel like the “giver” and never the “receiver,” it can slowly chip away at your self-worth and make you question why you’re even trying.
Constantly expecting your friend to cover up or tell big lies for you is simply unfair
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Another red flag is jealousy and competition. Instead of cheering for your wins, they treat everything as a rivalry. Got a promotion? They immediately try to one-up you. Shared some good news? They respond with sarcasm or downplay your success. If you constantly feel like you’re in competition with your friend, that’s a toxic dynamic that can wear you down.
And then there’s constant criticism. No matter what you do, they always seem to have something negative to say. Maybe it’s about your outfit, your choices, or even your relationships. Constructive feedback is one thing, but endless nitpicking is another. Friends should lift you up, not drag you down with nonstop negativity.
On top of that, they might complain… a lot. We all have bad days, but when a friend turns every single conversation into a marathon rant session, it gets exhausting fast. Instead of uplifting or lighthearted moments, you’re stuck being their emotional dumping ground. And while supporting friends is important, it shouldn’t come at the cost of your own emotional well-being. If it’s always complaints and never gratitude or joy, you’ll start to dread hanging out with them.
Finally, lying is a major dealbreaker. If your friend lies often, whether it’s about little things or big things, it creates mistrust. And if they also expect you to lie for them, that puts you in an even tougher spot. Honesty is the foundation of any meaningful relationship, and without it, the friendship is bound to crumble. When a friend manipulates you into covering for them or bending the truth, it stops being about trust and starts being about enabling bad behavior.
In this case, it seems like the author’s friend expected her to keep the secret from her fiancé. Do you think her anger was justified, or was the author right to speak up? What would you have done in this situation? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
The author went on to explain more details about the friend’s situation
Many people online applauded the author for being honest and telling the groom the truth
Others, however, argued that it wasn’t really their place to reveal it
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
If Emily wanted her secret kept, she should've kept her trap shut. OP did the right thing. Anybody who blames OP for the fallout is also the AH.
Yep. Two people can keep a secret, if one of them is dead.
Load More Replies...Broke the girl code? Oh f**k off. Any 'code' that endorses cheating, entrapping or lying to your partner is usually written BY scumbags, FOR scumbags
SERIOUSLY. As a woman I read that and went "girl what are you ON about?" I dunno what "code" this chick's following but it sounds like a real s****y one.
Load More Replies...I didn't read that Emily told OP to keep quiet. Did I read it wrong? And if the so-called "sister code" covers lies that can break a marriage, then they're no sisters of mine. Girls, get you priorities straight! You don't deserve to be called women if you'd keep such a cruel secret.
Real sisters are invested in you having a healthy and honest relationship with your partner, because they want the best for you and support you.
Load More Replies...After my divorce, several good friends told me things about him that shocked me. They knew before the wedding but didn't want to say anything. NTA. I wish I had known.
See??? This is why you tell people the bad stuff before weddings, etc., so they can make an informed decision on if they should go forward or not.
Load More Replies...If a friend revealed they were doing this, they would cease to be my friend. Keeping a secret that harms another person in the name of "girl code" or "bro code" makes you every bit of a POS as the other person. I like my friends because they are kind and trustworthy. If they demonstrate that to not be the case, why would I want to keep them in my life?
The YTA who said she's not better than the cheater?!? What a c**t
She was not your friend if she told you something like that to offload her burden onto you, and then expect you to carry it. I'd be thinking back to all the times I questioned things in the friendship. No doubt Emily has lied to a lot people about really important sh!t. Jc, of course NTA.
Friend of mine found out his 10 year old kid wasn't his. And his wife had secretly been accepting support money for ten years. He tried really hard to deal with it, but sadly ended up unaliving himself. I often wonder whether he'd have coped if he'd known in the first place.
This kind of thing is why I’ve always told my friends that I’m not willing to hold their secrets for them. I had a friend who confided in me about the fact that he was cheating on his wife. I told him that I would not keep his secret, and that if he didn’t tell his wife, who was also my dear friend, I would. He finally told her, and she divorced him. But my friendship with him was over.
If I was the man I'd rather know. It's cruel. She did the right thing
Starting a marriage off on a lie is beyong all kinds of wrong. Most likely he would have noticed at some point that it wasn't his kid.
You can’t win. You don’t say anything and yta. You do say something and yta. Ultimately you did the right thing imo but it came at a cost. That cost is your friendship. But let’s face it you’re not the OG AH. She is for doing that to that man. It’s unfair and tbh why would you want a friend who did that to someone, no thanks. She’s got no one to blame but herself. Find new friends and sleep with an easy conscience.
I got in a very odd secret situation. My then best friend was basically banging every guy she could. There were many. Her husband tried everything, counselling, moving out of the country. The works. He was also faithful, as he hated the thought of doing the dirty. Anyway, she came over to see me, no guy in tow for once. Phew. A friend and I go to pick her up for lunch, a guy answers the door with not many clothes on... Anyway, she took a look at my face and once back home, told me, shut up or no friendship. We are no on her buds.
DNA tests should be mandatory for all births, in addition to hand and fingerprints
It was her best friend's job to come clean before she accepted her partner's proposal. Yes, that's hard and there was a risk he'd leave her, but that's what adults do. To complain when another person behaves like a decent Human being just shows that Emily is neither worth being a friend, nor a wife.
The comment that DNA tests should be required for all births is insulting. My husband and I had been married 12 years when I had out son. Had anyone suggested a DNA test, I would have been livid. Back to the question: Emily made her mess. Anyone who thinks they can keep a parentage secret in today's world is naïve. Imagine harm that would have come were this information come out when the child is older. Emily isn't trustworthy.
I'm sure all the YTA people are cheaters. No sane person would be against revealing a cheater.
In a situation like this, you're always going to be the a*****e to someone. You keep the secret, you are an a*****e to the fiance, and accessory to cheating and paternity fraud. You tell the fiance, you betray the trust of your friend, by sharing her secret. This is a situation where you can't win, you can only choose what you lose: your integrity, or your friend.
I've taken to downvoting all stories republished under a new title. Try it, it's fun! The correct journalistic practice is to cite your sources. If they said, "originally published on xx.xx.xxxx" there'd be no issue.
I think OP is an AH. A very necessary AH that lets all the sht out before it backs up and causes real issues.
Paternity tests should be mandatory at the time of birth. Paternity fraud should result in jail time, and victims of that fraud should be obligated to collect repayment of every penny spent in connection with that lie. In circumstance in which the court mandates a paternity test, 12% of men are found to have been raising and paying for children who are not theirs.
Such a terrible take. He has a right to know that the child he is raising isn't his. It is evil to keep that lie.
Load More Replies...She actually said that they probs wouldn't be friends anymore read the comments
Load More Replies...so you think its fair for a cheater to make her man pay for her kid with another man forever because s**t happens?
Load More Replies...so where is the line? if you find out a guy you know cheated on your bff, is m******r, a rapist or p**o would you also keep that secret?
Load More Replies...as a man i would see that woman as a hero indeed for protecting my honour abd finances. that woman is a parasite leaching of her man while she knows she betrayed him physically, emotionally and financially.
Load More Replies...If Emily wanted her secret kept, she should've kept her trap shut. OP did the right thing. Anybody who blames OP for the fallout is also the AH.
Yep. Two people can keep a secret, if one of them is dead.
Load More Replies...Broke the girl code? Oh f**k off. Any 'code' that endorses cheating, entrapping or lying to your partner is usually written BY scumbags, FOR scumbags
SERIOUSLY. As a woman I read that and went "girl what are you ON about?" I dunno what "code" this chick's following but it sounds like a real s****y one.
Load More Replies...I didn't read that Emily told OP to keep quiet. Did I read it wrong? And if the so-called "sister code" covers lies that can break a marriage, then they're no sisters of mine. Girls, get you priorities straight! You don't deserve to be called women if you'd keep such a cruel secret.
Real sisters are invested in you having a healthy and honest relationship with your partner, because they want the best for you and support you.
Load More Replies...After my divorce, several good friends told me things about him that shocked me. They knew before the wedding but didn't want to say anything. NTA. I wish I had known.
See??? This is why you tell people the bad stuff before weddings, etc., so they can make an informed decision on if they should go forward or not.
Load More Replies...If a friend revealed they were doing this, they would cease to be my friend. Keeping a secret that harms another person in the name of "girl code" or "bro code" makes you every bit of a POS as the other person. I like my friends because they are kind and trustworthy. If they demonstrate that to not be the case, why would I want to keep them in my life?
The YTA who said she's not better than the cheater?!? What a c**t
She was not your friend if she told you something like that to offload her burden onto you, and then expect you to carry it. I'd be thinking back to all the times I questioned things in the friendship. No doubt Emily has lied to a lot people about really important sh!t. Jc, of course NTA.
Friend of mine found out his 10 year old kid wasn't his. And his wife had secretly been accepting support money for ten years. He tried really hard to deal with it, but sadly ended up unaliving himself. I often wonder whether he'd have coped if he'd known in the first place.
This kind of thing is why I’ve always told my friends that I’m not willing to hold their secrets for them. I had a friend who confided in me about the fact that he was cheating on his wife. I told him that I would not keep his secret, and that if he didn’t tell his wife, who was also my dear friend, I would. He finally told her, and she divorced him. But my friendship with him was over.
If I was the man I'd rather know. It's cruel. She did the right thing
Starting a marriage off on a lie is beyong all kinds of wrong. Most likely he would have noticed at some point that it wasn't his kid.
You can’t win. You don’t say anything and yta. You do say something and yta. Ultimately you did the right thing imo but it came at a cost. That cost is your friendship. But let’s face it you’re not the OG AH. She is for doing that to that man. It’s unfair and tbh why would you want a friend who did that to someone, no thanks. She’s got no one to blame but herself. Find new friends and sleep with an easy conscience.
I got in a very odd secret situation. My then best friend was basically banging every guy she could. There were many. Her husband tried everything, counselling, moving out of the country. The works. He was also faithful, as he hated the thought of doing the dirty. Anyway, she came over to see me, no guy in tow for once. Phew. A friend and I go to pick her up for lunch, a guy answers the door with not many clothes on... Anyway, she took a look at my face and once back home, told me, shut up or no friendship. We are no on her buds.
DNA tests should be mandatory for all births, in addition to hand and fingerprints
It was her best friend's job to come clean before she accepted her partner's proposal. Yes, that's hard and there was a risk he'd leave her, but that's what adults do. To complain when another person behaves like a decent Human being just shows that Emily is neither worth being a friend, nor a wife.
The comment that DNA tests should be required for all births is insulting. My husband and I had been married 12 years when I had out son. Had anyone suggested a DNA test, I would have been livid. Back to the question: Emily made her mess. Anyone who thinks they can keep a parentage secret in today's world is naïve. Imagine harm that would have come were this information come out when the child is older. Emily isn't trustworthy.
I'm sure all the YTA people are cheaters. No sane person would be against revealing a cheater.
In a situation like this, you're always going to be the a*****e to someone. You keep the secret, you are an a*****e to the fiance, and accessory to cheating and paternity fraud. You tell the fiance, you betray the trust of your friend, by sharing her secret. This is a situation where you can't win, you can only choose what you lose: your integrity, or your friend.
I've taken to downvoting all stories republished under a new title. Try it, it's fun! The correct journalistic practice is to cite your sources. If they said, "originally published on xx.xx.xxxx" there'd be no issue.
I think OP is an AH. A very necessary AH that lets all the sht out before it backs up and causes real issues.
Paternity tests should be mandatory at the time of birth. Paternity fraud should result in jail time, and victims of that fraud should be obligated to collect repayment of every penny spent in connection with that lie. In circumstance in which the court mandates a paternity test, 12% of men are found to have been raising and paying for children who are not theirs.
Such a terrible take. He has a right to know that the child he is raising isn't his. It is evil to keep that lie.
Load More Replies...She actually said that they probs wouldn't be friends anymore read the comments
Load More Replies...so you think its fair for a cheater to make her man pay for her kid with another man forever because s**t happens?
Load More Replies...so where is the line? if you find out a guy you know cheated on your bff, is m******r, a rapist or p**o would you also keep that secret?
Load More Replies...as a man i would see that woman as a hero indeed for protecting my honour abd finances. that woman is a parasite leaching of her man while she knows she betrayed him physically, emotionally and financially.
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