2YO Diagnosed With A Nut Allergy After Landing In ER, Grandma Ignores It And the Parent Loses It
While every relative might have only the best intentions for the little ones running around them, it’s ultimately the parents who carry the responsibility and call the shots.
In a now-viral Reddit post, platform user SuchRestaurant8545 shared the emotional toll of managing their toddler’s severe peanut, pistachio, and cashew allergies, made all the more difficult by a beloved grandmother who can’t seem to stop bringing those very nuts around.
The issue started as small, sparse incidents, but over time, it became a continuous conflict over boundaries and trust.
Some say grandma knows best, but this story proves that even the most loving relatives can make dangerously thoughtless choices
Image credits: astreltsova / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Nicola Barts / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: SuchRestaurant8545
As the post went viral, its author clarified the most common question people have had
A peanut allergy is a dangerous thing
Simply put, a peanut allergy is a condition that arises when your body’s immune system overreacts to proteins found in those peanuts and treats them as a potential threat.
(It’s important to point out that a tree nut allergy isn’t the same as a peanut allergy. Peanuts grow underground and are classified as legumes, like beans and peas. But roughly about a third of people with a peanut allergy are also allergic to at least one tree nut.)
This medical emergency requires treatment with an epinephrine autoinjector (EpiPen, Auvi-Q, others) and a trip to the ER.
Anaphylaxis is no joke and its signs and symptoms can include:
- Constriction of airways;
- Swelling of the lips, tongue, and throat that makes it hard to breathe;
- A severe drop in blood pressure, also known as shock;
- Rapid pulse;
- Dizziness, lightheadedness, or loss of consciousness.
Treatment for nut allergies
Image credits: engin akyurt / pexels (not the actual photo)
Treating nut allergies often involves a mix of measures aimed at preventing exposure and knowing when to take action and get treatment. That list includes:
- avoiding all tree nuts and peanuts, as well as products that contain them and products that have undergone processing in the same facilities as these foods;
- recognizing nut allergy symptoms and taking prompt action if they develop;
- taking antihistamines to address mild symptoms, such as itching or swelling, if they arise;
- carrying an epinephrine injector if you have a severe allergy so that you can treat anaphylaxis immediately if needed;
- working with your doctor on food immunotherapy, where you’re intentionally exposed to increasing doses of the allergen over time to train your immune system to tolerate it;
- informing loved ones about your allergy (including teachers, caregivers, and coaches of children with nut allergies);
- asking about medications like Palforzia to help manage peanut allergies in children.
Studies show that peanut allergies in children are on the rise. In the United States, for example, the percentage of the adult population living with it has been estimated at 3 percent in 2015–2016, compared to less than 1 percent in 1999. In England, there had been a 72% increase in the number of hospital admissions for children caused by anaphylaxis between 2013 and 2019, from 1,015 to 1,746.
The grandma may have had a hard time adjusting the diet she had been so used to, as nuts can be found in so many of our foods without us even realizing. But it’s the effort that counts, and the author of the post believes it’s missing.
Most of those who read what happened said they had every right to confront the grandma
But some believe the parent was out of line
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No, it isn't. She's understood, she just doesn't care. Best case because she thinks they are lying about the allergies, but more likely her inconvenience is weighted more heavily than a child's safety in her decision making.
Load More Replies...An usual the YTAs are psycho cases. There have been two tragic cases in the UK in recent years that illustrate why. One was a young teen girl whose father bought her a prepackaged sandwich from a store and she died from cross-contamination, probably from a single sesame seed. The other was a child who had a piece of cheese thrown at him in the school cafeteria. The cheese hit him in the back of the neck. He must have idly scratched at it and the allergens made it into his bloodstream and kílled him.
The YTA comment that said "you're daughter needs to learn to manage it"... WTAF?? Just shows how utterly ignorant people are about allergies - which is no excuse.
Load More Replies...One slip up is not good, but understandable if you aren't used to checking ingredients, or didn't realise it wasn't ok in the house, even if the child is in bed. If people haven't been around this type of allergy before, it can be misunderstood because there are so many types of allergies. But repeated examples are malicious. This woman just thinks her snack preferences are more important than her grandchild's health. Don't leave her alone with any of the kids because her convenience is always going to be more important than their safety.
Agreed. The first time is just a mistake while getting used to a new routine around the grandchild, that you don’t have to practice when they’re not around. Forgetting to wash your hands and brush your teeth before giving your grandchild a hug ONCE during the first visit after diagnosis isn’t great, but it’s an understandable mistake in a brand new situation. Takes time to switch gears and get used to a new routine. Sure. But to repeat it so many times, and so blatantly—-who TF brings big bags of nuts with them on vacation?—-is either obtuseness, callousness, denial that there’s a problem at all, or downright cruelty.
Load More Replies...This isn’t a generational thing, it’s an obtuse a*****e thing. I’m 64. I had no allergies as a child, but had friends and schoolmates who did. Their parents were very aware of their allergies, and very vigilant about avoiding their allergens. They also would tell the school to be sure their child’s teachers and the school nurse would know. In other words, they covered all the bases to help their child not have any reactions. I never heard of any of my friends who had allergies being purposely exposed to their allergens in an effort to force them to become immune. Cripes, all that would do is make your child perpetually sick, ffs. Anyway, this was back in the sixties and seventies, and the parents were either Boomers or Greatest Generation, and they obviously cared about their kids and followed their doctors’ instructions about their child’s diet and other potential exposures. Now, obtuse a******s exist everywhere, regardless of generation, country, religion, culture, whatever. They existed back in the day too. Sure, there were anti-allergy parents somewhere who stupidly tried the forced immunity route with their allergic kids, just like there are anti-vaxx parents today. There has always been a portion of the population who are gullible and therefore easy targets for any snake oil salesman who comes along with some “miracle cure” for whatever ails them. Or their poor children. That “miracle cure” usually ends up being deadly, or at least highly risky, for whoever is being given it. It’s a really sad situation when it’s parents unnecessarily putting their children at risk with crank “medicine”, trusting some uneducated, but I assume somehow charismatic, nutjob’s “beliefs” and pseudoscience, when they should trust in educated professionals, real science, and the cold hard facts those scholars learn through scientific method.
A good loving granny is of the best things in the world. A F**ed up, toxing granny gets a a ticket to "Notseeingyourgrankidsville"and that is one thing this generation does tremendously well.
How in the GDF is anyone saying YTA? Grandma is doing this deliberately and deserves a no contact.
I was at school with someone who had a nut allergy, she bit into a chocolate that had a nut in it. She was dead within 10 minutes. If my grandchild had such an allergy, I would not be taking any risks. How could you live with yourself if the worst happened?
Wow! That sounds so traumatic for everyone involved. I’m so sorry.
Load More Replies...The YTA bunch are potential m♧rderers and should be kept an eye on.
I would agree with yta if this was an adult. But it's not. It's a small child. Her mum is being a b***h on purpose. Time to call time on the cow being in your kids life - because she will absolutely cause her death. Keeping your mum isn't worth your daughter's life.
Definitely. And I would agree if the mother were yelling at strangers minding their own business, but it's not unreasonable to expect a person who wants to be in the child's (or even adult's) life to accommodate their safety
Load More Replies...The YTAs are so unhinged 😂 “sure your daughter might be seriously injured or die but HOW DARE YOU TELL SOMEONE WHAT THEY CAN AND CANT EAT IN THEIR OWN HOUSE?” Because that’s clearly more important than keeping an innocent child alive 😂😂
As a parent, the life of the child is more important than the feelings of the grandparents. Been there, done that.
My sister had bad allergies as a kid back in the 50s and the family knew what foods she couldn't eat. My mom had four siblings, dad had three, and neither any of them or her grandparents would DREAM of touching anything she was sensitive to. What an t*rdette.
OP should add a new phrase to her vocabulary: I don't trust you. Whenever Mom wants to come by to see her grandkids, the answer should be "No." When asked why, "I don't trust you." Each rebuttal should be met with, "I don't trust you." I figure that a minimum of six months should get the point across. If not, too bad, so sad, Grandma doesn't get to see her grandkids. NTA.
I wonder how I can manage to remember that one of my friends is vegan and cook / buy snacks accordingly. She isn't a child, she isn't a relative, she wouldn't be in danger if I bought the wrong crisps - and STILL I manage to allow for it. It's not even difficult. Grandmas can be s**t, and this one one of those. But why OP still allows her near the child is beyond me. Mild YTA for not fighting for her child's health better.
To all those YTA, that dear Grandma could be charged with child endangerment or willful disregard - or worse - if anything serious happened to her granddaughter as a direct, or even indirect result of her actions. She *knows* about the allergy. She *knows* it is a serious allergy. She still, seemingly intentionally, presents the allergen in the presence of the very small child. Sometimes all it takes for someone to have a serious reaction to a food allergy is for the allergic person to be kissed by a person who has just eaten the allergen. You know, kind of like a grandma who has just eaten a peanut butter sandwich might lean down and kiss her granddaughter who is visiting.
If the child died as a result of Grandma's willful disregard for her grandchild's safety, an enhancement of depraved indifference could be added to the existing charges.
Load More Replies...The yta commenters are the biggest a******s. U r completely NTA. Ur mom is probably a typical narcissist. She knows everything and won’t listen to anyone type. Please show this entire post for her to get some sense into her brain
one of my little brother's friends is allergic to watermelon. when we have him over, we don't eat watermelon because A) i don't wanna cause a reaction and B) we have other food and don't want him to feel left out. ETA: I just remembered that he doesn't have *the worst* watermelon allergy, he can be near it, but again, NO ONE WANTS TO RISK THAT. TBH, if your kids are over (or a grown adult, idc) and you tell me that they have an allergy, i **will** accomodate it. it's not an issue for me, it's just decency IMO
I have friends who would do this because they don't think allergies are real. They would 100% do this to "prove everyone wrong."
I can't believe how many people seem to think it's ok to play dice with a child's life, rather than inconvenience themselves I hope they never have children, they are far too selfish. Dying from a peanut allergy is a horrible death. The airways swell up so you slowly suffocate to death. It's absolutely terrifying. I'd love to give the YTAs that experience, just for 5 minutes. They'd change their tune.
"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by neglect, ignorance or incompetence" - mentioning this with regard to several commenters' suggestion that the grandma did it on purpose.
Well, bringing big bags of nuts with her while on vacation with her kids and grandchild sound nothing like “neglect, ignorance, or incompetence”. It sounds like Grandma either doesn’t believe in allergies at all, or still believes in forcing immunity on allergic children. Either way, it sounds like cruelty, whether she realizes it or not.
Load More Replies...As the Mimi of my 5 grandbabies, I think OP should shove that jar of peanut butter down her mother's stupid damnedd throat! I mean it's no skin of her Ashtabula if she waits to eat nuts when her precious grandbaby isn't around ffs 🤬
wow your username checks out (in a good way, i'm mad about this too. )
Load More Replies...NTA. Neither of my kids have allergies other than seasonal. My Mother would do stupid things at times. One time when my son was with her the went to the egg ranch in town and the house at the end of the road where you turn, she lived in when she was a kid After getting the eggs she stopped at the house because they were outside and told them she had lived there and wanted to see it. When she told me what she had done I laid into her and told her if she wanted to do stupid a*s stuff like that to do it alone and never with my kids. It's stupid and dangerous they could have been killed because they were strangers. When I told my husband he was pissed off at her too and pretty much told her the same thing as me. She never did stupid stuff with my kids again because they were told if grandma tries something to refuse.
You know, it’s fine to visit places you knew as a child. But you have to remember that new people are living there now (if the building still exists), and making their own memories there. So you can’t just impose on them and barge into what is now THEIR home, just to look around. Giving them a little history of their home is one thing, and it can be done outside the house in a short conversation, like when OP’s mother was paying for the eggs. Then just leave it at that, unless specifically invited to look around inside the house. I mean, Grandma has to be somewhere around my age (I’m 64), so I know her parents drilled manners into her head and she knows what is polite and what isn’t. It’s just basic, simple common sense, common courtesy, and plain old politeness. WTF happened to all that?
Load More Replies...Does the gma and the YTA commentators not realize that allergy includes airborne particles? Just eatting it around her can unalive her
When she can speak/understand what's going on, she needs to be protected from granny and other people. Until she can advocate for herself, others need to do it for her.
Here's the deal - if you think your adult child is being paranoid about your grandchild's allergy, you can choose whether or not you see your grandchild, but you can't choose how they handle keeping their child safe. If you think someone is the a*****e for trying to keep their child alive, I don't want to know you, or ever be around you.
What?! Please brush up on your reading comprehension. "Life-threatening nut allergy" is mentioned numerous times.
Load More Replies...If someone you love has a potentially lethal allergy to something is it really that hard to just not eat it around them? Like if you actually cared for someone wouldn't you want to do anything you can to keep them safe? It seems a lot of people don't actually care about the health and wellbeing of the people they are supposed to love.
Load More Replies...No, it isn't. She's understood, she just doesn't care. Best case because she thinks they are lying about the allergies, but more likely her inconvenience is weighted more heavily than a child's safety in her decision making.
Load More Replies...An usual the YTAs are psycho cases. There have been two tragic cases in the UK in recent years that illustrate why. One was a young teen girl whose father bought her a prepackaged sandwich from a store and she died from cross-contamination, probably from a single sesame seed. The other was a child who had a piece of cheese thrown at him in the school cafeteria. The cheese hit him in the back of the neck. He must have idly scratched at it and the allergens made it into his bloodstream and kílled him.
The YTA comment that said "you're daughter needs to learn to manage it"... WTAF?? Just shows how utterly ignorant people are about allergies - which is no excuse.
Load More Replies...One slip up is not good, but understandable if you aren't used to checking ingredients, or didn't realise it wasn't ok in the house, even if the child is in bed. If people haven't been around this type of allergy before, it can be misunderstood because there are so many types of allergies. But repeated examples are malicious. This woman just thinks her snack preferences are more important than her grandchild's health. Don't leave her alone with any of the kids because her convenience is always going to be more important than their safety.
Agreed. The first time is just a mistake while getting used to a new routine around the grandchild, that you don’t have to practice when they’re not around. Forgetting to wash your hands and brush your teeth before giving your grandchild a hug ONCE during the first visit after diagnosis isn’t great, but it’s an understandable mistake in a brand new situation. Takes time to switch gears and get used to a new routine. Sure. But to repeat it so many times, and so blatantly—-who TF brings big bags of nuts with them on vacation?—-is either obtuseness, callousness, denial that there’s a problem at all, or downright cruelty.
Load More Replies...This isn’t a generational thing, it’s an obtuse a*****e thing. I’m 64. I had no allergies as a child, but had friends and schoolmates who did. Their parents were very aware of their allergies, and very vigilant about avoiding their allergens. They also would tell the school to be sure their child’s teachers and the school nurse would know. In other words, they covered all the bases to help their child not have any reactions. I never heard of any of my friends who had allergies being purposely exposed to their allergens in an effort to force them to become immune. Cripes, all that would do is make your child perpetually sick, ffs. Anyway, this was back in the sixties and seventies, and the parents were either Boomers or Greatest Generation, and they obviously cared about their kids and followed their doctors’ instructions about their child’s diet and other potential exposures. Now, obtuse a******s exist everywhere, regardless of generation, country, religion, culture, whatever. They existed back in the day too. Sure, there were anti-allergy parents somewhere who stupidly tried the forced immunity route with their allergic kids, just like there are anti-vaxx parents today. There has always been a portion of the population who are gullible and therefore easy targets for any snake oil salesman who comes along with some “miracle cure” for whatever ails them. Or their poor children. That “miracle cure” usually ends up being deadly, or at least highly risky, for whoever is being given it. It’s a really sad situation when it’s parents unnecessarily putting their children at risk with crank “medicine”, trusting some uneducated, but I assume somehow charismatic, nutjob’s “beliefs” and pseudoscience, when they should trust in educated professionals, real science, and the cold hard facts those scholars learn through scientific method.
A good loving granny is of the best things in the world. A F**ed up, toxing granny gets a a ticket to "Notseeingyourgrankidsville"and that is one thing this generation does tremendously well.
How in the GDF is anyone saying YTA? Grandma is doing this deliberately and deserves a no contact.
I was at school with someone who had a nut allergy, she bit into a chocolate that had a nut in it. She was dead within 10 minutes. If my grandchild had such an allergy, I would not be taking any risks. How could you live with yourself if the worst happened?
Wow! That sounds so traumatic for everyone involved. I’m so sorry.
Load More Replies...The YTA bunch are potential m♧rderers and should be kept an eye on.
I would agree with yta if this was an adult. But it's not. It's a small child. Her mum is being a b***h on purpose. Time to call time on the cow being in your kids life - because she will absolutely cause her death. Keeping your mum isn't worth your daughter's life.
Definitely. And I would agree if the mother were yelling at strangers minding their own business, but it's not unreasonable to expect a person who wants to be in the child's (or even adult's) life to accommodate their safety
Load More Replies...The YTAs are so unhinged 😂 “sure your daughter might be seriously injured or die but HOW DARE YOU TELL SOMEONE WHAT THEY CAN AND CANT EAT IN THEIR OWN HOUSE?” Because that’s clearly more important than keeping an innocent child alive 😂😂
As a parent, the life of the child is more important than the feelings of the grandparents. Been there, done that.
My sister had bad allergies as a kid back in the 50s and the family knew what foods she couldn't eat. My mom had four siblings, dad had three, and neither any of them or her grandparents would DREAM of touching anything she was sensitive to. What an t*rdette.
OP should add a new phrase to her vocabulary: I don't trust you. Whenever Mom wants to come by to see her grandkids, the answer should be "No." When asked why, "I don't trust you." Each rebuttal should be met with, "I don't trust you." I figure that a minimum of six months should get the point across. If not, too bad, so sad, Grandma doesn't get to see her grandkids. NTA.
I wonder how I can manage to remember that one of my friends is vegan and cook / buy snacks accordingly. She isn't a child, she isn't a relative, she wouldn't be in danger if I bought the wrong crisps - and STILL I manage to allow for it. It's not even difficult. Grandmas can be s**t, and this one one of those. But why OP still allows her near the child is beyond me. Mild YTA for not fighting for her child's health better.
To all those YTA, that dear Grandma could be charged with child endangerment or willful disregard - or worse - if anything serious happened to her granddaughter as a direct, or even indirect result of her actions. She *knows* about the allergy. She *knows* it is a serious allergy. She still, seemingly intentionally, presents the allergen in the presence of the very small child. Sometimes all it takes for someone to have a serious reaction to a food allergy is for the allergic person to be kissed by a person who has just eaten the allergen. You know, kind of like a grandma who has just eaten a peanut butter sandwich might lean down and kiss her granddaughter who is visiting.
If the child died as a result of Grandma's willful disregard for her grandchild's safety, an enhancement of depraved indifference could be added to the existing charges.
Load More Replies...The yta commenters are the biggest a******s. U r completely NTA. Ur mom is probably a typical narcissist. She knows everything and won’t listen to anyone type. Please show this entire post for her to get some sense into her brain
one of my little brother's friends is allergic to watermelon. when we have him over, we don't eat watermelon because A) i don't wanna cause a reaction and B) we have other food and don't want him to feel left out. ETA: I just remembered that he doesn't have *the worst* watermelon allergy, he can be near it, but again, NO ONE WANTS TO RISK THAT. TBH, if your kids are over (or a grown adult, idc) and you tell me that they have an allergy, i **will** accomodate it. it's not an issue for me, it's just decency IMO
I have friends who would do this because they don't think allergies are real. They would 100% do this to "prove everyone wrong."
I can't believe how many people seem to think it's ok to play dice with a child's life, rather than inconvenience themselves I hope they never have children, they are far too selfish. Dying from a peanut allergy is a horrible death. The airways swell up so you slowly suffocate to death. It's absolutely terrifying. I'd love to give the YTAs that experience, just for 5 minutes. They'd change their tune.
"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by neglect, ignorance or incompetence" - mentioning this with regard to several commenters' suggestion that the grandma did it on purpose.
Well, bringing big bags of nuts with her while on vacation with her kids and grandchild sound nothing like “neglect, ignorance, or incompetence”. It sounds like Grandma either doesn’t believe in allergies at all, or still believes in forcing immunity on allergic children. Either way, it sounds like cruelty, whether she realizes it or not.
Load More Replies...As the Mimi of my 5 grandbabies, I think OP should shove that jar of peanut butter down her mother's stupid damnedd throat! I mean it's no skin of her Ashtabula if she waits to eat nuts when her precious grandbaby isn't around ffs 🤬
wow your username checks out (in a good way, i'm mad about this too. )
Load More Replies...NTA. Neither of my kids have allergies other than seasonal. My Mother would do stupid things at times. One time when my son was with her the went to the egg ranch in town and the house at the end of the road where you turn, she lived in when she was a kid After getting the eggs she stopped at the house because they were outside and told them she had lived there and wanted to see it. When she told me what she had done I laid into her and told her if she wanted to do stupid a*s stuff like that to do it alone and never with my kids. It's stupid and dangerous they could have been killed because they were strangers. When I told my husband he was pissed off at her too and pretty much told her the same thing as me. She never did stupid stuff with my kids again because they were told if grandma tries something to refuse.
You know, it’s fine to visit places you knew as a child. But you have to remember that new people are living there now (if the building still exists), and making their own memories there. So you can’t just impose on them and barge into what is now THEIR home, just to look around. Giving them a little history of their home is one thing, and it can be done outside the house in a short conversation, like when OP’s mother was paying for the eggs. Then just leave it at that, unless specifically invited to look around inside the house. I mean, Grandma has to be somewhere around my age (I’m 64), so I know her parents drilled manners into her head and she knows what is polite and what isn’t. It’s just basic, simple common sense, common courtesy, and plain old politeness. WTF happened to all that?
Load More Replies...Does the gma and the YTA commentators not realize that allergy includes airborne particles? Just eatting it around her can unalive her
When she can speak/understand what's going on, she needs to be protected from granny and other people. Until she can advocate for herself, others need to do it for her.
Here's the deal - if you think your adult child is being paranoid about your grandchild's allergy, you can choose whether or not you see your grandchild, but you can't choose how they handle keeping their child safe. If you think someone is the a*****e for trying to keep their child alive, I don't want to know you, or ever be around you.
What?! Please brush up on your reading comprehension. "Life-threatening nut allergy" is mentioned numerous times.
Load More Replies...If someone you love has a potentially lethal allergy to something is it really that hard to just not eat it around them? Like if you actually cared for someone wouldn't you want to do anything you can to keep them safe? It seems a lot of people don't actually care about the health and wellbeing of the people they are supposed to love.
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