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Woman Questions Whether It Was Jerkish Not To Put BF On Her House’s Title, Shares A Surprise Ending
We cannot always know what another person has in mind, especially if they purposely do not share or mislead us. Apparently, sometimes it has to do with good intentions and a wish to keep a surprise, which, of course, works best with a happy ending.
So it happened to this Redditor whose story started with a disagreement with her boyfriend about putting him on the title of her house and making him a beneficiary without getting married as she wanted. And ended up… (almost) completely elsewhere.
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A woman disagreed with her boyfriend about adding him as her beneficiary; however, the conflict had an unexpected resolution
Image credits: Caio (not the actual photo)
The man seemingly didn’t want to get married and the woman agreed to take marriage off the table even though she wanted it
Image credits: u/Jaer56
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Jaer56
The woman refused to add her boyfriend as her beneficiary, or add anyone to the title of her house without marriage
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
On the weekend the woman’s boyfriend asked her to go on a hike and as they got to the waterfall, he gave her an envelope
A woman brought it to the Reddit AITA community online after having a disagreement with her boyfriend of three years. While they both agreed they were in the relationship for the long haul, her boyfriend didn’t want to get married and was surprised by her strong refusal to add him as her beneficiary of her life insurance. The woman asked if she was a jerk to not consider adding her boyfriend as her beneficiary without marriage.
The woman agreed to take the marriage off the table, despite really wanting to get married, because her boyfriend didn’t, with his vibe being between “not ready” and “commitment as far as marriage is stupid, so why bother.”
However, their disagreement started when the woman was going through her insurance paperwork and made a joke that in case something happened to her, her parents “can mourn her in style”; her boyfriend then got talking and mentioned how she should really change her beneficiary to him.
The girlfriend’s answer was no, absolutely not, because she would never make anyone who isn’t blood or legal family her beneficiary. She also told him that since she owns the house they live in, she won’t add him without marriage either. The man called the woman a jerk for holding marriage as a “bargaining chip”.
The woman shared all the financial details, and Redditors sided with her. The woman also talked the issue through with her boyfriend who explained he thought she was going off about not adding him in retaliation for his “no to marriage” talks and reacted poorly. However, he wanted her to know that she was it for him.
In it there was a receipt from a jewelry store with a purchase date, which was early August, before their talks about marriage
Image credits: Kindel Media (not the actual photo)
As the woman turned around, her boyfriend asked her to marry him, and she said yes; the man explained that he didn’t want to ruin the surprise
Based on the woman’s update, the story developed as follows. Her boyfriend asked her to go on a hike. They got to the waterfall and the man gave her an envelope. The woman opened it and found a receipt from a jewelry store with a date of purchase circled with a heart, which was before her boyfriend had said he didn’t want to get married. As the woman turned around, her boyfriend asked her to marry him, and she said yes.
The man explained he said he didn’t want to get married because he didn’t want to ruin the surprise; however, he knew after the disagreement she wouldn’t have believed him without a receipt. The couple decided to add each other as their beneficiaries, and that there was no need to add the man to the title of the house.
The woman’s initial story received 13.9K upvotes, while the update gathered 27.7K upvotes. When it comes to the original question of whether she was a jerk to refuse to add anyone who isn’t blood or legal family including her boyfriend as her beneficiary, and add them to the title of her house, Redditors judged she wasn’t a jerk in this situation.
Redditors shared their takes on the situation under the original post
Here’s what people had to say after the update
What do you think ?
Sherman Von Gee 2 years ago
Whoa. This did not go how I expected. But idk.. maybe I'm just an untrusting person.. but something smells fishy. I hope that I'm just being paranoid bc if this is legit then that's beautiful. But idk...
Lorraine 2 years ago
That's why he was so adamant on showing this was planned before their argument. This even has happened in TV shows with the guy pretending to hate marriage so the gf doesn't see it coming.
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Hokuloa 2 years ago
Yeah, that isn’t right. He’s paying 1/3 of the mortgage as rent with no other major investment and expects to be a beneficiary on insurance and likely the house. Now he proposes? Sounds super suspect. She better get a rock solid prenup and will prepared. Hopefully he’s just an immature idiot, but it’s sounds like she’s getting at least a bit used over the imbalance in their commitment.
yohyunz 2 years ago
It was in the story that he bought the ring before all of this happened.
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Violet Jensen 2 years ago
Wow. He’s marrying for money. This is not heartwarming and I knew it. He only proposed because she refused unless they got married.
Lorraine 2 years ago
Someone didn't read the whole thing or just blatantly ignored the receipt date part.
Load More Replies...
Lorraine 2 years ago
Thankfully she didn't run to Richard in this story 😂
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varwenea 2 years ago
Not that either of them will read this reply... Even if she doesn't add him to the title, she needs a will that will identify subsequent ownership of the house and at the minimum, give him the right to stay in the house for a duration. Each state will vary on what their options are.
The Starsong Princess 2 years ago
When I bought my house, my lawyer made me promise to come back and see him before I let any guy move, reminds me about common law marriage in my province. He said it was the biggest mistake women made - letting some guy move in without a written agreement.
Seedy Vine 2 years ago
OP's being a total pushover. He just wants the house and a maid. Get out!!!
Anne Nielsen 2 years ago
A bargain chip? This is not a poker game. It is you life. When things are official, then it is both of your lives. It is THEN it is appropriate to mix finances. Until that point there is always a possibility in someone's mind of "the walk away". Why does he want a legal financial commitment from you, but does not want to legally commit to the marriage. He is demanding more of you, than he is willing to do....legally. In that case, you are more vulnerable financially. He does not want to be vulnerable...legally.
Sherman Von Gee 2 years ago
Whoa. This did not go how I expected. But idk.. maybe I'm just an untrusting person.. but something smells fishy. I hope that I'm just being paranoid bc if this is legit then that's beautiful. But idk...
Lorraine 2 years ago
That's why he was so adamant on showing this was planned before their argument. This even has happened in TV shows with the guy pretending to hate marriage so the gf doesn't see it coming.
Load More Replies... Hokuloa 2 years ago
Yeah, that isn’t right. He’s paying 1/3 of the mortgage as rent with no other major investment and expects to be a beneficiary on insurance and likely the house. Now he proposes? Sounds super suspect. She better get a rock solid prenup and will prepared. Hopefully he’s just an immature idiot, but it’s sounds like she’s getting at least a bit used over the imbalance in their commitment.
yohyunz 2 years ago
It was in the story that he bought the ring before all of this happened.
Load More Replies... Violet Jensen 2 years ago
Wow. He’s marrying for money. This is not heartwarming and I knew it. He only proposed because she refused unless they got married.
Lorraine 2 years ago
Someone didn't read the whole thing or just blatantly ignored the receipt date part.
Load More Replies... Lorraine 2 years ago
Thankfully she didn't run to Richard in this story 😂
Load More Replies... varwenea 2 years ago
Not that either of them will read this reply... Even if she doesn't add him to the title, she needs a will that will identify subsequent ownership of the house and at the minimum, give him the right to stay in the house for a duration. Each state will vary on what their options are.
The Starsong Princess 2 years ago
When I bought my house, my lawyer made me promise to come back and see him before I let any guy move, reminds me about common law marriage in my province. He said it was the biggest mistake women made - letting some guy move in without a written agreement.
Seedy Vine 2 years ago
OP's being a total pushover. He just wants the house and a maid. Get out!!!
Anne Nielsen 2 years ago
A bargain chip? This is not a poker game. It is you life. When things are official, then it is both of your lives. It is THEN it is appropriate to mix finances. Until that point there is always a possibility in someone's mind of "the walk away". Why does he want a legal financial commitment from you, but does not want to legally commit to the marriage. He is demanding more of you, than he is willing to do....legally. In that case, you are more vulnerable financially. He does not want to be vulnerable...legally.
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