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“My Entire Life Is Built On A Lie”: 58 Anonymous Confessions Folks Could Never Say Out Loud
Sometimes people keep secrets that later snowball into huge baggage they can’t tell anyone they love. Hiding something big can cause a lot of pain and tension, which is why they might want to confess it all and get it over with.
That’s probably why the r/confessions community has over 855k weekly visitors, many of whom share their secrets anonymously. Some of these stories are extremely shocking and heartbreaking, which is probably why they were kept hidden for so long.
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#1
I Am Having Such A Hard Time Keeping My Adoption Secret
I've been a foster dad to my son since he was 5. He is now 9. He's been through a lot and has made significant progress. I am so proud of him. I've been trying to officially adopt him and have spent over $30,000 over the last two years to make it happen. He has no idea. The social worker came by to visit and I told him it was to see how he was doing, but he was worried that I might be getting rid of him so he's been very anxious and clingy, but I've been a bit emotional too. I am getting the paperwork all signed and sealed by my lawyer this Thursday (when the judge comes back to work). I want to surprise him by showing him that he is officially my son, although he always was and will. I thought about surprising him with the news at his favorite restaurant this Saturday with his Aunt and Uncle and cousins. Keeping this secret is harder than the actual adoption.
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#2
I Used To Pay My Middle School Bully Not To Bully Me Then I Found Out He Actually Needed The Money
He made my life a living hell. He would turn all the boys in class against me and bully me about my eyebrows. One time he begged me to buy him pizza and said he promises not to bully me all week if i do. So I bought him a box of pizza and he fulfilled his promise. I loved the idea. I began to do it on a regular basis. I started asking him every Friday what he wants next week so that the bullying doesn't happen again. He asked for 2 bags of hot fries (a potato chip flavor here in the US) and another time he wanted some milk from the cafeteria. And once he asked for colored pencils for art class.
My school had a uniform dress code. It was $25 per shirt and the pants were $15, if I remember correctly. He showed up the first day of 8th grade in regular clothes, a tee and jeans. So he got sent to the main office to wait for his parents. My aunt was there because she used to drop off my lunch and hand me money to buy food after school. She saw him upset and asked what's wrong and he starts crying lightly. His parents wouldn't come because they couldn't afford the uniform and decided it would be best to avoid the situation. After my aunt hands me my lunch, she buys him a uniform hoodie, a couple of tees, and a long sleeve. He said he had pants at home and he was hesitant to accept but eventually took them and thanked her.
Now (13 years later) he runs a nonprofit that has something to do with kids receiving books. I think it's sweet and I forgive him for being a bully because he didn't grow up to be an a-hole like most bullies.
#3
I Fake An Accent At My Job
My heart is pounding writing this because I literally haven’t told anyone this. So I work at this one store, and I work on the sales floor; but before all that, I was just one person interviewing for a position at the store. Before I arrived for my interview, a friend of mine dared me to interview in a British accent. I said I’d do it only if they paid me, and to my surprise, they sent me like $10 through venmo (which was more than enough for me). I went into the interview with the mindset that I wasn’t gonna get hired and they inevitably hired me on the spot. Accent and all. I was nervous because I had already talked to a whole bunch of higher ups with the accent and decided to just go through with it -thinking it was only going to be a summer job. I was so wrong. It’s been like 7 months that I’ve been working there and I still use the accent to this day. When people ask me where I’m from I just tell them my hometown because I have several brits from that town whom I grew up with. The accent hasn’t really posed a problem until now cause my bf is friends with one of my coworkers so I’m gonna have to find the right time to come clean.. thanks for coming to my TedTalk.
UPDATE: finally told my boyfriend about the accent and he said, and I quote, “well babe, you just gotta fake it till you make it, and get the hell out of there!” I got a lucky one, y’all!
Keeping a secret can seem fun and intriguing, but in reality, it often causes folks a lot of stress and tension. Columbia Business School notes that folks who hide things from people they love experience persistent mental burdens that keep making them feel worried, ashamed, or even embarrassed.
This might also affect the secret-keeper’s relationships with friends and family, as they may not be able to be fully themselves. This lack of faith in the other person’s understanding and support might weaken the bond between them and also create a cycle of negative feelings over time.
#4
I Have Cancer But Haven't Told Anyone
I was diagnosed with cancer a little over two weeks ago, after a regular checkup. Turns out I have a tumour on my colon that has spread to other areas (liver and lungs so far) and will require extensive chemo and surgery for any chance to live longer than 8 months.
I'm not having any treatment and I haven't told my wife because she'll only pressure me to get the treatment, which result in months of pain and suffering for a relatively small chance.
Instead, I'm making sure our last few months together are filled with only happy memories. I'm starting work later and finishing earlier each day, to make her breakfast in bed and take her on dates in the evenings.
My landlord I rent my workshop from has agreed to let me run my business rent free for the next 6 months, which means significantly less financial stress and I can save a lot more, so she has something to carry her over afterwards.
I hope she'll forgive me for taking this path.
Lyone Fein 7 minutes ago
We all need to feel free to approach things like this in our own ways.
#5
I Tell Everyone The Reason I Do Beekeeping As A Hobby Is Because I Want The Honey And To Help Prevent Colony Collapse
The real reason I started to is because my mother is extremely allergic to them and now she won't come near my home anymore.
#6
I Was A Perfect Match To Donate A Kidney To My Brother And I Lied To Our Entire Family
Four years ago my older brother suffered complete renal failure from a severe autoimmune condition. He needed a living kidney donor immediately or he was facing years of dialysis with terrible survival odds.
My parents, our cousins, and I all went to the hospital to get screened for tissue compatibility. A week later the transplant coordinator called me into her office privately. She told me I was a six out of six antigen match. A literal one-in-a-million perfect biological match.
she asked me if I was ready to proceed with surgery scheduling.
I looked her in the eye and said no. My brother spent my entire childhood physically tormenting me, stole twenty thousand dollars from my college savings account, and never showed a single ounce of remorse. The thought of giving up an organ and undergoing major surgery for someone who treated me like garbage made me physically sick.
I asked the coordinator to tell my family that my blood markers were medically INCOMPATIBLE.
Legally the medical team has to protect donor confidentiality, so they sent a formal letter stating I could not donate due to anatomical reasons. My family cried together in the waiting room and talked about how cruel genetic luck was.
He eventually got a deceased donor kidney fourteen months later and survived.
At every family holiday, my mom still holds my hand and says "I know you would of given him your own life if your body allowed it." I just nod and stare at my plate.
I would make the exact same choice today.
Folks hide things from their loved ones for many reasons, and Psychology Today explains that one reason could be to prevent harm to others. This could involve secrets that might make someone feel bad or burden them, so the individual keeps the information to themselves.
Some of the most common things folks hide that they feel might affect others include money, relationship status, how they feel about their family, their true emotions about a loved one, and any wrong actions they might have taken. Unfortunately, in a bid to protect the other person, the secret-keeper might unintentionally hurt that same individual in the end.
#7
I Was The One Who Anonymously Sent My Best Friend's Wife Proof Of His Affair, And I Pretend To Comfort Him Every Day
We’ve been friends since high school. Last year, his wife gave birth to their first child, and almost immediately, he started sleeping with a young intern from his branch office.
He didnt even bother hiding it from our private group chat. He would brag about lying to his wife while she was at home struggling with postpartum recovery, sending gross texts about his hotel hookups on "work trips." The other guys in the chat stayed silent or laughed along, but it made me sick to my stomach.
i created a throwaway encrypted email, compiled unedited screenshots of his messages and the hotel receipts he bragged about, and sent everything straight to his wife.
She filed for divorce two days later, secured full custody, and kicked him out. He currently sleeps on his cousin’s couch and calls me every night crying, begging to know which "snake" betrayed him and destroyed his family.
I listen to him sob on speaker while playing video games, tell him "stay strong bro," and hang up with absolutly zero guilt.
Some people deserve to lose everything.
#8
I Ruined A Marriage Over Unpaid Babysitting
I used to babysit for a couple whose husband was always away on business trips. The wife was cheating and constantly came home late, completely ignoring my extra hours and refusing to pay me. The final straw was when she was three hours late and stiffed me on the spot again. The very next time her side guy came over, I snapped a clear picture of them together. I texted it directly to her husband with a note: ""Since I’m not getting paid, thought you should see what she’s busy doing."" Their marriage ended shortly after, and I consider my debt fully settled.
#9
I Secretly Put Money In My Pants Pockets So My Husband Will Do The Laundry
I put $5 to $10 a week in my clothes. He thinks he is getting one over on me because we both have a weekly budget. He doesn't know that he is part of my budget. If I even try to do the laundry he is like "No, I got it." Worth every red cent.
Many of these confessions come from folks who don’t want to open up about their lives because they fear backlash from friends and family. Protecting ourselves from harm is one of the most basic human instincts, and it’s understandable that folks might feel uncomfortable exposing their actions and behavior.
One common example is “stealth shopping,” where someone secretly makes a big purchase and hides it from their spouse. They might keep it hidden because they fear their significant other’s reaction, or because they're trying to avoid a confrontation.
#10
I Photoshop Every Photo Of My Mom
My mom has really had a hard time the past few years. When she entered menopause she gained weight and no matter how much she works out or what diet she tries she cannot drop it.
She is a wonderful person, beautiful inside and out, but I could tell it was really taking a toll on her. So I started (lightly) photoshopping pictures I take of her before I send them to anyone or print them. I just nip a little here and there, slight reshaping. and smoothing out a few wrinkles, nothing drastic, but enough.
Since I have started this she has started acting more confidently and has stopped making negative remarks about pictures she is in. She loves being in pictures with everyone again.
It has really helped. I have not told anyone and never will.
#11
I’ve Realized I Detest My Boyfriend
We’ve been together almost three years. We live together. I support us 100%. In the time we’ve been together, he’s worked maybe two months.
He’s depressed and anxious and he steals all the oxygen and joy out of every room. He never wants to go anywhere but then complains that we never go anywhere. I got him an interview at my work - a moderately well paid entry level position. He refused to go, saying he wasn’t ready. Then spends time complaining about not having a job. You get the idea.
Everything in our lives revolves around him and his moods. He cries, yells or just sighs incessantly. There’s no laughter or happiness in our home. I walk on eggshells all the time. I dread coming home from work. He grabbed me a few days ago and shook me so hard I’m bruised on my upper arms.
The apartment is in my name, but he literally has no where to go because he has no friends and he refuses to contact his family. So he’d be homeless and I can’t do that to him (or any human really). I fantasize about being alone all the time. Like only cooking or shopping or doing anything just for myself. It would be incredible. To be able to breathe again.
His birthday was last week and I saved up for a month to get him something related to his hobby. When I gave it to him, he said “i just told you I didn’t want to do this anymore. What were you thinking?” I think at that point any love I still felt for him just died.
He doesn’t cook, clean, care for his dog or do anything but play video games. I’m trapped in a prison and I just don’t really care what happens to me anymore.
I don’t want to [end this], but I wouldn’t be upset if I didn’t wake up tomorrow, if that makes sense. I know what i should do but I’m just dumb.
Thanks for reading. Typing it out helps.
YakFactory 28 minutes ago
If you stay with him, you can look forward to always supporting him and receiving nothing in return. Then you will be subject to emotional a***e, financial a***e and physical a***e. You can't afford to stay with him and mess up your life. If you force him out, he'll have to get a job, and he will have to learn to manage. Look after yourself!
#12
I Paid A Fortune Teller To Potentially Lie To My Now Wife That We Are Perfectly Compatible
I’m white, now husband to an Asian girl. Both she and her family are superstitious, and they told her she has to go and see if we are an astrological match based on Chinese astrology. I’m a person that is very rational and doesn’t like to leave things to chance. We had already been dating for a year and things were getting serious when the topic came up. By that time, I was already deeply emotionally invested in this relationship, and when I began to realise that for her, the astrological match was a potential dealbreaker, I panicked, and knew I could not just gamble on it working or not.
So I told her we will go to Chinatown and see a fortune teller (I’m sure there are more sophisticated words for them, but honestly, I don’t care much for them or their profession).
The day before, I secretly went to Chinatown, met a fortune teller with a good reputation, and paid her $400 to tell my now wife that our astrology and whatnot is perfectly compatible.
The next day we went to said fortune teller, and she did as asked. Even printed out some report sheet that details why we are such a great match.
I am happily married now, our first child is on the way, and I have zero regrets.
It can be hard to know when to confess a secret, and it’s easy to say folks should never hide things from their loved ones. The problem is that this is complex; someone might want to protect themselves from guilt and shame, as well as spare their partner the pain of betrayal.
That’s why it’s best to think through the decision carefully and wait for a calm moment to actually open up about what’s on your mind. Even talking with a trusted friend or seeking help from a professional can help you work through those feelings before you confess everything to your loved one.
#13
I Pavlov'd My Girlfriend
My ex used to use a specific shampoo and over time i noticed that every time i smell this shampoo on other people i automatically think of her and this got me planning..
For my current girlfriend, every time we got down to business i put on a cologne that i saved specifically for those times. No matter how spontaneous the action was, i found the time to put on a puff or two of this perfume secretly and then continue.
After weve been going on for couple months, i began to do tests - i put this perfume on when casually walking in the kitchen past her, and just sat down in the living room. Soon enough, after couple minutes she got here and initiated [intimacy]!
Now i use it ocassionally (im very careful not to overuse it so it doesnt spoil the effect) when i want to get hee going, and it works well enough:)
My favorite is putting it on before going out to a public place, and watching her get super worked up and unload at home.
#14
I Steal Hermit Crabs From Souvenir Shops
You know those hermit crabs they sell as pets to tourists in coastal souvenir shops, the ones with shells that have badly painted cartoon characters on them?
The ones that come free with the purchase of a little plastic carrier with a thin layer of brightly colored gravel, some flake food, and a shallow water dish with a sea sponge in it.
Maybe your parents let you get one while you were on vacation as a child because it's such a simple little pet, and maybe it lived for a few weeks or months or even a couple years in that little plastic box before you noticed a bad smell and found it [deceased]. And maybe you shrugged it off because it's just a little crab and they don't live long right?
Those crabs have a lifespan of 30+ years. Those crabs are highly social and need to be kept in groups. Those crabs require air that's around 80% humidity or higher in order to BREATHE, and kept at around 26 C/80 F. Those crabs need separate pools of both fresh and salt water (using marine aquarium salt) that are deep enough to fully submerse themselves in so they can regulate their internal salinity. They need large enclosures with deep substrate to burrow down in so they can molt. They need a varied and nutrient-rich diet with fresh fruit and veg.
The little crab you got as a souvenir in the same place selling custom airbrush shirts and shark-tooth necklaces [passed away slowly and painfully]. It's a miracle it made it that far to begin with, as all the hermit crabs sold in these shops (and major pet retailers) are collected from the wild. They have their natural shells broken off their bodies with a hammer so they have no choice but to wear some kitschy garbage with Spiderman painted on it. Roughly 50% don't survive the process and no one seems to care.
I care.
Several years ago I was in one of these shops and saw hundreds of hermit crabs kept in a bare, unheated open-air cage with only a shallow dish of water. I could smell them before I saw them, little bodies rotting in their shells and limbs strewn about. Children were encouraged to pick them up and play with them and beg their parents for one because they're hardly more complicated than a pet rock, right?
If I bought some of them I could give them a chance to live, but in doing so I'd be supporting a cruel industry. I'm not sure how long I paced around the shop with my moral dilemma before a sudden realization hit me: I have pockets.
As casually as I could, I picked out a couple sickly crabs and gently put them in my pocket. My heart was racing but no one stopped me when I walked out the door. And so started my life of crime.
I don't do it often, but if I'm in a town with one of those souvenir shops I'll pop on in and jailbreak a few hermit crabs. I gravitate towards the weak ones and those missing limbs. They're on their way out but I want them to have a chance, or to at least [pass] as comfortably as they can. The ones that've pulled through are all healthy and active now; a colony of contraband crabs. I love the background noise of their shells clacking against their terrarium and each other as they go about their crab business.
I'm a little drunk and sentimental tonight which is my excuse for writing all this. I have a feeling most folks won't care to read it all but I hope they do and somehow it'll make a difference.
If you made it through my rambling, thanks. May you never be pinched.
#15
I’m A Pastor Who Doesn’t Believe In God
Here I sit on another Sunday morning. I love the people I minister to. I believe that there are some really good principles in the Bible (and some really awful ones!) so I feel ok about the message of love and hope that I get to deliver. I push back against the hate and homophobia and judgmental nature of so much Contemporary American Christianity. But I don’t believe the underlying myth, and I have to pretend that I do. Overall, I believe I’m doing more good than harm, but there’s a dishonesty at the center of it that I have to try to ignore.
EDIT: A lot of great discussion here. A couple of clarifications:
I’m not economically dependent on ministry work. I work outside the church and do my ministry work on a voluntary basis. I used to get a (very) small stipend but gave it up a few years ago when I no longer needed it.
I wonder all the time whether I am lying, or just withholding (or whether that’s a [nonsense] distinction.) I strive only to say what I believe, but it’s a stretch. When I say God is Love, I really mean Love is God - the highest power. Certainly not Christian orthodoxy.
I try hard to teach only what I believe - Love, grace, care for others, etc. There are not many other forums where I could deliver that message in the same way. Not an excuse, just a fact.
I appreciate the concern of those who feel I’m defiling the faith. I disagree, but humbly. They may be right.
I would hate to hurt those who have trusted me.
Thanks for all the encouragement. Thanks for the honest criticism. Reading the comments here is a bit like living inside my brain.
To everyone: “... but the greatest of these is love.”
Some situations make people more willing to reveal their secrets, and the National Communications Association explains that this usually happens when folks feel the other person needs to know. For example, if someone learns something their family has hidden from their partner, they might feel more inclined to tell them.
With friends and family, people might also rethink whether to open up about their secrets because they fear the potential backlash. Especially for children with their parents, since the consequences of revealing hidden information might be high, they may be less inclined to share.
#16
I'm A Straight Man Who Goes To Gay Bars
If I feel like getting drunk by myself I will go to a gay bar rather than a straight one because I like the attention I get, it's more relaxed because I don't have to worry about drunk insecure dude brahs with something to prove, plus I can drink fruity drinks without being seen as less of a man.
#17
Something Scared Me And My Brother Really Bad When We Were Younger And I’m Just Now Remembering The Details...
We were watching one of the Garfield movies (I can’t remember off the top of my head) and everything was well until the song “I feel good” by James Brown started playing in the movie. Now, you may ask, what could’ve scared you so bad from a song like that? Well I’ll tell you. In the beginning of the song James Brown does this sort of scream I guess you could say. Well me and my brother had no idea that it was a part of the song and we thought the scream had came from somewhere in our room. After hearing the scream we immediately ran to our parents room and told them we heard someone scream from inside our room, so my father jumps up and grabs a knife from the kitchen and walks into our room to find nothing in there. So now everyone in the house thinks there’s an intruder so we all go lock ourselves in my parents bedroom and call the police. Police show up and find nothing. I was watching the movie with my niece the other day and heard that familiar scream and realized that it was only the movie and we’d had the police called for no reason at all.
#18
I Wish I Had Aborted My 6 Year Old Down Syndrome Son
It was this time 7 years ago I got the diagnosis while pregnant. It was this time 7 years ago I had 2 choices, to abort or to continue my pregnancy and I chose to continue my pregnancy. It was the worst mistake I made. He’s non verbal still. Going to work was my saving grace but with this virus I remember why I hate the life I’m living. I listened to all those people in the Down syndrome group about how great life is with our kids. I wish I could turn the clock back around, ignore those people, and terminated.
For now i am trapped. And no one understands.
People try many different ways to reveal their secrets, and researchers have found that the first way folks go about it is by preparing and rehearsing what they want to say. This kind of scripting might help them clarify what they want to say and build the confidence to finally open up.
Another option is to be direct and come out with the secret without hesitation, which can be hard for some folks. That’s why others ask partners, friends, or other third parties to help deliver the confession. If none of this works, the individual might reveal their secret in small bits and pieces.
#19
I Can't Stand My Wife
I've come to the realization that I just flat out do not like my wife anymore. It isn't a rough patch or something that I will work through. She is simply a person that I do not enjoy being around. She is a complete Karen who will literally demand a manager for every perceived sleight and it is embarrassing as hell. She is constantly bragging and laughing about all the people she has argued with and blocked on various platforms like Facebook and Nextdoor. She never shuts up but never has anything of importance or relevance to say. Everything that she does is just nails on a chalkboard to me. But I couldn't imagine only spending half the amount of time with my kids, there is absolutely no way I could live with that. So I will just keep going pretending that I love her and am some devoted husband so I can try and set a good example for my kids and spend as much time with them as possible.
#20
To Not Flunk Out Of College, I Changed My Grades And Thousands Of Others' As Well
When I was a student at a major university in the late 80's, I was failing several classes miserably. I had completely screwed up in 2 of my 6 classes and I needed to make a plan of how not to flunk out.
For one class, I decided to dedicate all my spare time in correcting where I went wrong and fix it by acing the final exam. The other class, which was much more technical, required that I come up with a plan. Keep in mind, that I was a total goody-two shoes kid who felt like they were in a desperate situation. Failing out of college was not something I could allow to happen. Desperate times, desperate measures.
The class that I needed to pass was a science/engineering class that I had not bothered to go to. So i went to the very last Thursday class to figure out my plan. One thing the professor did say was that if you had a 93 or higher average in the class you could opt out of the final exam that was happening in 1 week. I had a 64 average so I had to take the exam. How was I going to ace this exam? My grades were too low to get pulled up enough. The only way to fix this was to get my grades changed. So I came up with a "Hail Mary" plan. One that involved a few rules to be broken, and by rules, I mean laws.
The science building were the class was given would close for the weekend. This meant that the professors' offices were locked and most of the labs were locked as well. You could still get into the main parts of the building but you had to talk to a security person if it was after hours. (There wasn't digital badges and [sruff] like that back then.)
So here was my plan. On Friday afternoon after most classes were over, I scoped out the whole building. It was a u-shaped building that was 3 stories tall. I had to find a way in. Luckily, I found one of the 1st floor labs on the inside of the "u" had large horizontal windows that could be unlocked and would allow for someone to crawl through. Even better, one of the labs windows were obscured by a small fenced in area that housed some of the electrical and HVAC units. Large bushes lined the fence as well. So while I was there I went into the lab and unlocked a window to allow myself a place to enter the building. The door of the lab was propped open and I unpropped it and let it close. It locked. Good to know! It also reduced the chances of someone relocking the window.
I also scoped out the professor's office. It was open but he was was not there. It was very small with no windows. Just enough room for a desk, his chair and a a couple of other chairs. His office door was an all metal door painted beige except for a small center window in the middle. The window had a wire screen built into the glass held in place by a simple screwed on frame. There were lots of manilla envelopes and schedules etc on the door as well. This would be a challenge but I had formed my plan.
At around 3:30 in the morning I arrived back at the building with my backpack and a plan to break into th building. I had a hammer, pliers, a roll of tape and some screwdrivers that I had scrounged and I was nervous as hell. I made way through the bushes and climbed over the fence. I checked the window and it was still unlocked. I pulled myself up through the window and into the dark lab. Remembering that the lab doors would lock behind you, I slowly opened the lab door and placed some tape on the lock to stop it from locking. I was expecting a quiet building but instead was greeted by the loud sound of machinery running. Another lab was conducting an all night test or something and at least 3 upper level students were there overseeing the project. In a way that was good because my presence wouldn't necessarily be noticeable by others. I would find out later that it would also cover any noises I made.
I made my way to the professor's office door which was in a more out of the way part of the building. The office was located right by one of the stair wells so I could hear anyone coming down the stairs and also, if someone happened to start coming from the other way I could use the stairs for a quick exit. I pulled out the screw driver to start unscrewing the frame around the glass window in his door and soon realized that the screws were covered in decades of paint. Not good. What I thought was going to be a 2 minute job turned into a 45 minute job. I just went to town on this window frame. I had a few starts and stops but no one came by. I got the frame off and tried to pry the glass out of the frame. It was sealed in with paint. Getting the glass out took a monumental amount of slow prying and steady effort. After 30 minutes of scraping and gentle pressure I had the glass pane out.
I slowly reached in and turned the lock to unlock the door. I grabbed a large manilla folder on the outside of door and repositioned it over the window, a perfect cover for the now mauled up window. I slide into the office and looked for something to cover the window that would block light. The desk calendar worked well and a few pieces of tape held it up well. Then I turned the lights on to survey the scene.
I was now presented with a desk a chair and small slim table behind the desk. Of all the ways my plan could go wrong, my biggest fear was that the professor may have taken all of his grades home with him. A quick look into the large flat file on his desk and I had his full hand-written grade register in my hands and the pen he used for recording grades was tucked right inside. He taught 6 classes that semester and I only needed to change one grade, my grade, however, now that I had seen how banged up the paint was on the glass window frame, I knew I had to alter the plan. I searched through the gradebook and found all of my grades and saw I had several in the 70s and some lower 60's grades. I had done SOME work in the class. I thought it over for a few seconds and started executing Plan B.
I went through every single class he had and began randomly changing anything in the 60's to read as in the 80s. Then I went through and change all the 70's I found to read as 90s. I realized that the changed grades wouldn't stand up under close scrutiny so I had to create a "herd immunity' of changed grades. I noticed a few bad students in some of his classes and made some extra efforts at changing their grades. A zero? Now an 88. This was taking awhile. With 6 classes and 50 students or so in each class, and about 10 grades per student, there was about 3000 grades in this register. I changed at least 1500 of those grades. Of course my grades were changed as well. Lots of numbers in the 90s. I closed the grade book and placed it back in the drawer exactly as I had found it but I hear a little "Plink!" sound. I pulled on the drawer and realized it was now locked but wasn't before. OK, So maybe he'll think he locked it. No big deal.
My mind began to wonder of what the aftermath of this might be. Would this work? Would I be able to get away with not taking the exam by creating this academic chaos? About this time was when I noticed the IBM PC on his back table. Hmmm. Did he record his grades on a hand written register and his PC? IF he had a backup of the grades, all of this would be for nothing. Also, I couldn't reference all the changed grades a the drawer was now locked. I booted up his IBM PC XT and saw that it had two 3.5 disk drives. There's 5 disks by the computer. What to do?
I load each disk in the drive and type "DEL *.* " and nuke them all. I hadn't planned on this but then "F**k It Mode". So let's review the plan, change so many grades that he would have to take an impossible amount of time to deconstruct the chaos and simply give out good grades or at least better grades as needed. No one particular student would be identifiable as a culprit because there were plenty who had a motivation to change the grades. This was as good of an idea as i could come up with.
After having distributed all the good grades to all the good boys and girls I gathered my tools and planned my exit strategy. The back of his door had a few items taped to it as well so i replaced the glass and frame and covered it with another manilla folder. I wrote a poorly written not on a post it that said. "Sorry mop handle cracked the glass. Replaced glass. - maintenance".
I then split, got passed the grad student running the machine, slipped out the window and never went back. Didn't show up for the final exam either because you know, higher than a (edited) 90 93 average and all....
Waited 45 long days that summer to get my grades. Got a 90 in the class. Yeah... okay no complaints.
There had to be some other people who got their grades and were happier as well.
Never suffered any consequences on this either but it was the most stressful night of my life.
I haven't done [stuff] like this ever again.
#21
I Pretended To Hate My Neighbor’s Cooking For 4 Years… Because Her Husband Confided In Me That It Was The Only Joy She Had
Four years ago my neighbor (70s, very sweet) started bringing me food every Sunday because “you’re too skinny to live alone.” Her cooking was… uh… aggressively experimental. Paper-dry meat, mysterious spice combos, soups that tasted like wet socks.
One night her husband pulled me aside outside and said:
“Thank you for pretending to like her food. She lost her sense of purpose after retirement. Cooking keeps her alive.”
So I doubled down. I hyped every dish like it was Michelin-level. She would beam every time. It became this whole ritual, she’d hand me a plastic container, I’d compliment her seasoning, she’d blush and wave me off.
Fast forward to last month. Her husband had a mild stroke. They changed his diet, and she’s too overwhelmed to cook. The meals stopped.
And I realized something: I actually miss them. Not the food, hell no, but the weird warmth of it. It felt like someone was caring about me in their own clumsy way.
I want to check in on her, but I feel like if I ask for food again it’ll come off insulting, and if I don’t, I’ll seem ungrateful.
So I’ve been silently grieving the world’s worst lasagna.
Whether or not a person confesses what’s on their mind, research has found that people usually hold onto 13 secrets, and five of those are ones they haven’t told anyone else. Most of these hidden things are about substance use, theft, violating someone’s trust, affairs, or embarrassing moments.
There’s also a higher chance a person’s secret involves financial impropriety, which can make it harder to come clean about money stuff. No matter what folks are keeping close to their chest, it can be hard to hide it all, especially from the people you love.
#22
I Am Secretly Paying For My Late Best Friend's Son's College Tuition. He Thinks He Won An Anonymous Academic Scholarship
My best friend, Dave, passed away from cancer six years ago. His biggest fear on his deathbed was that his twelve-year-old son, Leo, wouldn't be able to afford college. Dave worked three blue-collar jobs and his wife had passed years before. They literally had zero savings. I promised Dave I would take care of it, but I knew Leo was way too proud to accept direct charity from me. He is just like his dad.
So, last year I worked with a local community foundation to set up a fake, private memorial scholarship. I funded the entire thing myself with $80,000. I made the application process look incredibly official and competetive. Leo applied and last week he received his acceptance letter stating he "won" the award.
He called me crying tears of joy, telling me that his late night study sessions finally paid off. i had to choke back my own tears while pretending to be completely shocked. He genuinely believes his own academic merit earned him this free ride.
I am confessing this here because I can never tell another soul. If he ever finds out it was just me handing him a check, it would completely shatter his confidence and make him feel like a charity case. I want him to go to university believing he earned every single bit of it. It is the hardest secret I have ever had to keep.
#23
I Replaced My Autistic Brother's Cat Five Years Ago And He Still Has No Idea
My younger brother is non-verbal and has severe sensory processing disorder. When he was ten, our parents adopted an older black shorthair cat named Barnaby. That cat was his entire universe. Whenever my brother had violent meltdowns, Barnaby was the only living thing that could calm his nervous system down.
In the winter of 2019 while my brother was at a specialized three-week sensory camp, Barnaby suddenly passed away in his sleep from heart failure. My mother was hysterical. She knew that returning home to an empty room would trigger an irrevesible emotional spiral for my brother.
i drove across three counties and visited six different animal shelters in forty-eight hours until I found an identical three-year-old black cat with the exact same notched left ear. I brought him home, rubbed his fur in Barnaby's old blankets, and placed him on my brother's bed.
When my brother came home, he paused for three seconds, buried his face in the cat's fur, and started purring back at him. It's been five years now. The new cat sleeps on his chest every single night without fail.
I feel a sick knot of guilt in my chest every time I watch them together, but I will carry this lie to my grave.
#24
I Broke Up With My Boyfriend Because He Yelled At Me
I'm a 29 year old woman.
He and I dated for about eight months. Our relationship was fine. We did things together, we had fun. There weren't any obvious red flags, but I always got this feeling that he didn't value me much. At times he seemed a bit cold and acted like he was annoyed with me for no apparent reason.
It all came to a head when, three days ago when we were hanging out at my place, he asked me to hand him the TV remote. I was sitting right next to him on the couch and was working on my laptop. I reached for the remote without looking and accidentally handed him my phone instead.
I though it was funny after I realized what I had done. I laughed as I handed him the actual remote. He had that same annoyed look on his face. He began yelling at me and called me "a stupid [b-word]".
I was stunned. I have NEVER raised my voice at him, or disrespected him in any way. I did not deserve to be treated this way. I told him our relationship was over and asked him to leave. He told me to calm down and stop overreacting.
I simply walked to the front door opened it wide and told him to get out, and never come back. He walked out telling me I was being dramatic.
The very next day I returned the presents he had given me. They meant nothing to me now.
My friends are telling me that I DID overreact and I shouldn't just end a relationship because he yelled at me once, and have asked me to patch things up. His friends too began harassing me on social media. I blocked them all (HIS friends, not mine).
I'm not going to reach out to him to try to "work things out" as some people have suggested. Because I know that I do not deserve this treatment. I've always treated him with respect and I deserve that in return.
I just needed to tell somebody. Thank you for reading.
Lying and hiding something big in your life might feel necessary at first, but hopefully, over time, you'll feel comfortable confessing that heavy secret, just like the folks on this list. We’ve got to say, even though all the stories here are anonymous, it must have taken a lot of courage to reveal something that was kept hidden for so long.
If you feel comfortable, we’d love to hear your secrets too. They definitely don’t have to be about anything too personal; even something small would be fun to hear.
#25
As A Husband And Father, I Feel Like I’m Just An [un]glorified Wallet And No One Respects Me Or Even Acknowledges My Contribution
I’ve been married 8 years. I’m 30, my wife is 33. We have two kids; a boy (5) and a girl (3).
I get up every week day at 4:00am. Clean up the litter box, walk the dog, sweep up the house (no vacuum because everyone is still sleeping). I fold the clothes that had dried overnight in the dryer. I check the children’s laundry baskets, and start new loads.
I go for a three miles run in the dark at 5:00am. I’m showered and on the road by 6:00am. I commute for an hour and a half to a job I’m not particularly thrilled about but I’m good at it and I’m paid well. I’d rather be home building furniture and learning to be a chef.
Officially I work from 8:00am to 5:00pm but we rarely finish at the office before 6:30pm. I drive home another hour and a half.
When I get home the house is a mess. There’s no dinner. I’m starving. Did they eat? Yes they did. Uber Eats. Did they order anything for dad? Maybe, if I’m lucky. Wife will be on her phone. Daughter sometimes sleeping, sometimes not, son sometimes sleeping, sometimes not.
I’d like to spend time with them, but I need to eat. Bowl of cereal or TV dinner, then.
I check the laundry machine. Yep. Laundry from this morning is still there, and a huge pile that didn’t even get started is next to the machine. I put the first load into the dryer and start the next ones.
Wife lectures me on how stressful and hard her day was. How hard can it be when I hired a day nanny.
Oh she means stressful drama with her friends. Oh yes, tell me about what a [jerk] Brenda is and what a perfect mom she thinks she is and how she’s fake. My, that’s so interesting.
She tells me about how I never have time for any of them and how I’m an absentee father and I need to “step up” my contribution at home. Well, this weekend I have to mow the lawn and paint the garage and do all sorts of other chores you insist need to be done only by me, I’m sorry if there’s not two of me and I can’t go on play dates with you and go to champagne brunches where you all pat one another on the back and tell one another how brave and hard working you are to be sitting in a restaurant paying $50 for a plate of food at noon on a weekday for a three hour lunch and yoga afterward when your husband gets a Stouffer’s TV dinner that he heats himself.
I’m sorry I can’t be like the J Crew family in the ad and be smiling all the time. Someone has to pay for the house you insisted on, the SUVs you insisted on, the Montessori school you insisted on, the fashionable clothes you insisted on, the organic this and that you insisted on, the hair salon and nail appointments you insisted on.
Thanks for calling me selfish for spending time on myself on my three mile runs. It’s the only thing for me I ever get to do, thanks, and it’s while you’re sleeping.
I really wish you wouldn’t condescend to me when you discuss me to your friends, as if I’m obsessed with my career and that’s why you’re stuck being supermom. You already know I’m happy with an apartment and used economy cars and buying our clothes at Target and working a job where I get to be home to see my kids.
Why are you and the nanny so busy that your combined efforts can’t put the load of laundry in the dryer and press a button. Why do you leave dishes in the sink for me to do after I come home.
If you want me to keep working my 160k a year job to to fun your lifestyle that’s fine, I’m your hubby and that’s what I signed up for. I’m your man and it’s my job to support you.
I wish you would act like you’re on my side, though, realize that I want to be home, but if you want all the stuff you insist are non negotiable, someone’’s got to go out there and pay for them because that [stuff] ain’t free.
Thing is, all of it would be more okay if you just said thanks, Mike, I know you’re working hard or us and that you’re doing your part to keep this train rolling.
Instead you paint this picture on social media like you’re [working very hard] and I’m just off playing golf instead of stressing every second if I’m making enough money to support the lifestyle you want and feel entitled to.
You paint me like I’m into myself when I want to be into all of us, be part of the bubble you’re keeping me out of.
Why do you resent it so much when our son says he loves me and appreciates me and wants to spend time with me. Why do you hate it when our daughter wants to stay up and watch me eat and talk to me.
I’m a husband and a father. I’m a workhorse. That’s life.
I’ve told you how I feel but you tell me I’m crazy and being a crybaby. I don’t think asking you to order something for me if you’re going to spend money on dinner is unreasonable.
If you really want to impress me, cook something for all of us.
Marriage is a partnership. It feels like I’m doing more of the lifting than half. That’s okay. But I need you to not gaslight me and treat me like I do nothing while you do everything. That’s not cool.
I’m not your dad but I feel like I’ve just taken custody of you and our kids and just get treated like [trash].
Please stop rolling y our eyes like it’s cringe when I try to play guitar and sing with our kids. They love it. You don’t have to but please don’t encourage them to laugh at me.
This is not a contest. This is marriage. I do my part, you do your part. Your part shouldn’t be laughing at my part, thanks.
Also, it’s hard to get [it up] when you’re berating me. Be glad I can get it up at all when we make love.
Thanks.
#26
My Dad Passed Away This Morning
He was riding his motorcycle to work early this morning. At around 230am he crashed his bike, we're thinking he had a heart attack and that's what caused him to crash.
In high school, about 13 years ago, I had to do a paper for English class. The topic was "Write a paper on either a personal hero of yours, or something that influenced you growing up." and then present it to the class. I wrote my paper on my dad. I wrote about how much I loved him, how much he cared for me, his 15 years in the Army, and how he was raising me to be a successful adult. I probably spent more time on that than any other paper I did. I was proud of it, and happy I got to read it aloud.
Later that evening I mentioned the paper to my dad, told him we could do it on either a hero or something that influenced us. He asked what I did mine on. I was embarrassed so I told him I did it on a band.
The last 13 years I've regretted that. The last 13 years I've wanted to tell him what I did the paper on. Just two days ago it came across my mind again.
Dad. I wrote that paper on you. You're my hero, always were and always will be. I'm sorry I didn't tell you how much I loved you, and how much you meant to me. Thank you for always being there. I love you Dad.
#27
I Was Kidnapped When I Was 8 And Held In Captivity For 3 Years
26f. I was picked up by a stranger from school posing to be my dad's friend. Saying that he would drop me off to the airport to catch a flight with my dad. Not only did I actually have to travel with my dad that day, but this man somehow knew my dad was getting off early from work (he told me that morning) and that he had to go fishing with his friend (he did this a lot).
He told me that my dad sent him to pick me up and meet him directly at the airport. I believed him, convinced my teachers I knew him (because I was excited to go the airport) and left with him.
I was held in captivity for 3 years. I was [hurt], beaten, starved. 11 year old me had learnt to make him trust me. It started with us going around in his car, although I had to sit in the backseat and stay quiet the whole time. He let me come into his kitchen and make food for myself, he let me clean his house. The day we went to feed the ducks at the park I ran. I ran as fast as my weak legs could carry me, because of the crowd; I think he lost me.
I begged a family for help, telling them I was kidnapped and I wanted to go home. I told them my name, my school's name and my parents' names.
Long story short; they caught him, he [ended his life]. I was back with my dad, my sisters, my dogs. I'm now happily married to my wife of 4 years, still undergoing therapy, have a good job, and a baby on the way.
#28
My Boss Pissed Me Off So I'm Catfishing His Wife
My boss is generally a [jerk].
I noticed his wife (who also works at the company) came up as a recommended friend on Snapchat. I copied the username and added her on my burner Snapchat.
After a few messages and a few fake selfies, she told me she is single and sent some good revealing pictures.
I feel a bit guilty now but she is hot.
#29
I’ve Lied To Everyone In My Life For 20 Years That I’m Jewish...
I’m not Jewish, not even a little bit. If you asked me any questions about Judaism, I couldn’t tell you, but still, everyone thinks I’m Jewish.
It all started in high school, 11th grade. I had just moved from California to The South and it was a rough time. I was called every horrible name in the book because I talked different and got the beat multiple times. Well I slowly befriended some of the guys on the football team and my closest friend was the center, we’ll call him Greg. Now Greg is a super chill guy compared to everyone around him, but he’s still very very racist and very open about all his opinions.
Well one day I’m driving Greg and a few other football players home from school and he makes a comment about synagogues. Without even thinking, I mention that I’ve been to one... and this is where it all started. This prompted one of the other guys to joke that I was a Jew, and trying to be chill (since these were the only friends I had), I went, “Haha, yep, I’m Jewish.” And then that’s when it all went down hill. Greg told everyone on the football team how his new friend from California was a Jew, and they all believed it since most of them thought there were only Jews in California anyways. And the football players spread that to the rest of the school.
At this point, I still thought it was a joke, and everyone was just jokingly calling me Jewish, so I just kept going with it. Then I became known as “The Jewish kid” and started to actually become popular, since everyone wanted to be friends with the different kid, (and the fact my dad had money, a lot compared to the poor area I went to school, so I could afford to buy nice things and people tend to be attracted towards that). And so being Jewish almost became my identity, it became who I was. So whenever someone would ask my religion, I just automatically told them I was Jewish.
Fast forwards to the end of high school, and the councilors are walking people through scholarship stuff, and my councilor calls me into his office and hand me a slip for a $5,000 Jewish American scholarship. Now, as soon as I read Jewish American scholarship, I was going to walk out and throw it out, but he made me sit down and fill it out with him, and then took it from me to submit it. I felt horrible for even doing it, but somewhat relieved when I heard that they only gave it to people who were also ethnically Jewish, so I knew I wouldn’t get it.
I got it. I received a letter in the mail saying I was chosen as the winner of this $5000 scholarship, I got accepted to Dartmouth due to the fact I worked [hard] in high school and was the valedictorian, though my competition wasn’t plentiful to say the least. But I never thought I would have been able to afford it, but this scholarship was huge in helping me towards that. I considered spilling everything then, declining the scholarship, telling everyone at school, telling almost every single form I’ve filled out, saying I’m not actually Jewish... I decided to tell my dad and ask him for advice as he’s always been a guy you can talk to about anything whatsoever. So I tell him everything, I tell him about the joke, then the lie, then everything, and now the scholarship (which I hadn’t told any of my family about because 1. I never thought I’d get it, and 2. They’d question why a very not jewish person is getting a jewish American scholarship) and as soon as I told my father, he looked me in the eyes with the most serious, disappointed face.... and then burst into tears laughing. The way he reacted, it must’ve been the funniest thing he’d ever heard in his life. He told me he had gotten a letter in the mail asking if I was ethnically Jewish for a scholarship I had entered, and being the person he is, he just said the chance for college money and went “yep, Jewish,” and that was apparently all they needed. So my dad convinced me to keep the money and go to my dream college, and I did.
As soon as I arrived at university, I was met with some people from the group that gave me this scholarship, some jewish American organization funded by wealthy Israelis, and they told me/enlisted me into all these jewish clubs and they got me set up in a synagogue, and I everyone there (I’d later learn 2 of the people there would be my professors, who were very jewish) and finally they told me they’d set me up with the whole “birthright” thing, where they fly American Jews out to Israel. I was so shocked, I was at my dream school, plus I was being hit with all of this, it was too much. I thought about coming clean a lot of times. But I feel like all the people around me would suddenly feel betrayed and leave me.
I became good friends with a lot of people in these Jewish clubs, I bonded with my teachers a lot better since they believed I was Jewish, I met the most beautiful Jewish girl (who I met through her mother, when she came up to me in a cafe, asked if I was Jewish, since I was with the local Rabbi, I said yes, and she told me that I’d love her daughter. We went on a date and instantly hit it off) and I got a free trip to Israel. All the while, I was dealing with severe depression since I felt horrible every second of every day, in addition to the already enormous amounts of stress university puts on you. I came so close, so many times to just throw myself off a bridge or tall building, but I could never bring myself to do it.
I managed to get all the way through 11 years of college to get my doctorate, got a job at a history museum back on the west coast, married that Jewish girl, had a Jewish wedding with her entire family, and my two parents (my dad had spilled the beans to my mom about two days after I told him, she also found it equally as funny) we’ve had 3 little jewish babies, the museum put me in charge of organizing and creating a huge Jewish American history exhibit (even though that’s not my specific field even in the slightest.) And in a few months, when the current Curator retires at the age of 96, I will hopefully be taking his place. (He’s been training me for the job, I’ve worked there the longest, and I’ve made sure that I’m good at my job)
My life has turned out great but deep down it will always haunt me that my entire life, is built on a lie. My kids lives, my life, my wife’s life, all came from a joke in a car 20 years ago... I was never going to tell a soul this, but today my oldest son (he’s 9) told me that he doesn’t think he believes in god, and I told him I agreed. It was the first time in 20 years that I told the truth about my religion, and didn’t lie. My son wants to tell his mom that he doesn’t want to continue being Jewish and I might use this as my way of getting out as well... I told him we’d tell her tomorrow at dinner and he seems almost as excited as I am, but equally as nervous.
Wish us luck, I guess... I still am unsure if I should tell her the whole truth, or if I should just leave it with that I no longer want to be Jewish.
TL;DR: A friend from 20 years ago made a joke about me being a Jew since I moved there from California. This turned into everyone in my life thinking I’m Jewish, causing me to meet a Jewish girl, get a free trip to Israel, get to go to my dream school, everything, but it’s all built on a lie, and I feel horrible about it every single day. Telling my wife tomorrow that I’m not Jewish, but I'm still unsure if I should tell her everything.
EDIT: Just for clarification, because people have been questioning my use of the word “university” in place for “college”. Yes I know they’re not the same thing, I’ve just been surrounded by British people lately and they all use “university” so I’ve been saying that instead of college. It’s a recently adopted habit and I can assure you I’m American. Born in Folsom California, moving to Orange County and then to Santa Clarita, California where I lived for most of my younger life until my family moved to Americus, Georgia. I can assure you I’m definitely American. And as for my wife not finding out from my side of the family, it’s mainly due to the fact that we don’t talk to my side of the family for personal reasons and I haven’t talked to them in years, and she’s only ever met them once at the wedding, but she also wants nothing to do with them. I’ve decided I’m just going to tell her I’m not jewish. I won’t tell her I’ve lied about being Jewish for all these years, but I’m just going to tell her that I’m not jewish. Someone also said that since bother sides of my family are Czech, there’s a good chance I’m Jewish, so I’m thinking of doing a DNA test soon. Also when I said, “I know nothing about Judaism” that was an extreme exaggeration. I’ve obviously picked up a lot of knowledge over the years and I think my wife may have an idea due to the fact, whenever a Jewish holiday is coming up, she’ll remind me about it and tell me when it is/ what it’s for if I don’t already know. I’ll update later tonight on how it goes!
EDIT 2: So I talked to her and I decided to just tell her everything.... and it didn’t go like I expected. She told me she had a feeling I wasn’t Jewish from the beginning but never married me just because I was Jewish, but married me for me, regardless of my faith. She said that she was sorry that I felt like I had to hide this from her for so many years and that I don’t have to pretend to be jewish if I don’t want to, but like a lot of people have commented, I do feel sort of culturally Jewish now. I definitely identify more as a member of the Jewish community than I do any others. We’re not going to pressure any of our kids into Judaism and we’re going to let them decide what they want to do for themselves... and my wife and I agreed that it’d be for the best if we gave back since all the opportunities afforded to me came from the Jewish community, we’re going to get involved with an organization and we’re donating to 3 different scholarships for $5,000 each, and try and help fund birthright trips whenever we can. I’d like to thank everyone who’s commented with advice and hopefully this can be a new chapter in my life!
#30
Put My Divorced Parents Who Hate Eachother In The Same Nursing Home
Karma is [real] mom and dad. Thanks for always putting me in the middle of your drama as a kid. So sad that you two found it amusing to act like children while forcing me into being the adult.
Well now the tables have turned. You're both old and in need of someone to take care of you. Obviously wasnt going to be me.
Hope you two enjoy seeing each other for the rest of your miserable lives and you can figure it out.
Waiting to get the phone call of "Did you know your mother/father is in the same nursing home?!":' )
Ah, I'm gonna sit back now and enjoy my cold one.
#31
What I’m Not Telling My Kids
I recently won a large amount of money and I am not telling my children. They have sucked the life out of me for a quarter of a century. I don’t speak to either one of them because they have let [illegal substances] rule their lives. I’m spending it on me.
#32
When My Manager Has Me Buy Him A Lottery Ticket, I Buy Another One For Myself With The Same Numbers
I hate him so much, the thought of him winning the lottery and having to split it with me makes me so happy:).
#33
I Clean Up My House Every Morning And Come Back To It Trashed After Work, And I Couldn't Be Happier Because Of It
So, I hate cleaning the house, sometimes I enjoy getting in the groove to some music, but mostly it's just tedious and I don't get any help with it.
When my, now wife, first moved in together, she was going through a bout of depression and for a few years I would go to bed with her, wake up and go to work, and come back home most days her still sleeping, or if awake has yet to leave the bed, with her only really being up when I was home.
So everyday, the living room was the same way it was the moment I left, some times going weeks being untouched and it started to make me feel lonely because it was like I lived by myself all over again. As if Nothing happens when I wasn't looking. Growing up in a family of 6, with many pets, and alot of stray acquaintances(My folks allow friends and family to bum off us when going through tough times as a sort of halfway home); there was never a dull moment in the house, for better or worse, which made it feel like it was home.
After no small amount of therapy and constant love, care, and commitment, she's been slowly cracking through her depression with only occasional bad days. And we have recently had our lovely daughter join our life. We just moved to a new area and a new house, my wife plays with the kid in the living room, gets her changed in the child's bedroom, makes herself and the little one some food in the kitchen now that she's eating more solids, and our little one destroys what ever she can get her hands on.
Coming home to see my daughter crawling over mommy as they watch PBS, my wife laughing and playing, my house in a lovely mess of activity and life, and I couldn't be any happier. Well if I could get hand with the dishes, that'd be nice, but with such a big victory, I'm not going to complain too much just yet.
#34
I Got Mad At My Girlfriend Today And Opened Her MacBook Air I Had Wrapped Under The Tree And Rewrapped It And Addressed It To My Son
Girlfriend and I got into an argument over our kids Christmas spending budget. We both have a kid from a previous relationship. Her daughter and my Son. We have an agreed budget of $1000 for each kid. We have met that budget for both kids last week.
Today she tells me she wants to get her daughter a phone and wants to buy her an iPhone XS Max easily putting her daughter close to $1200 over our agreed Christmas budget.
We have a shared bank account so it’s not quite the “it’s her daughter and her money so what’s the deal” kinda thing.. we argued for three days over the issue, we couldn’t afford to spend another $1200 on my son to even out the budgets again at a ludicrous $2200 each.. my son would have never if know we spent an extra money on her but that’s not the point.. it’s unfair and in my opinion it’s favoritisms..
After another very heated argument over the issue. I walked over to the tree, grabbed her present. Opened it in front of her, and then rewrapped it and addressed it to my son. Now the budgets are mostly equal again give or take $100...
#35
I Unfollow Women On Social Media When They Announce They’re Pregnant
They’re so annoying, only posting stuff about their baby like it’s the only thing going on in their life. It gets worse after the baby is born because they end up posting like 50 pictures of their kid doing [stuff] kids normally do. Usually it’s a friend’s girlfriend or wife. I know it’s a nit picky thing to do, but I hate babies anyway.
Edit: Maybe I should have been more specific. The women who are my friend’s girlfriend or wife. These aren’t my close friends, they’re more like acquaintances, so it’s not like I’m abandoning my best friend or [something]. Jeez.
To the incels who think I also unfollow women once they get in a relationship or when they get married:
NO I don’t unfollow them when they get a boyfriend or get married. Astonishingly, I don’t only befriend women in hopes that we [sleep together]. I just don’t like kids and I think babies are ugly and annoying.
#36
I Made My Dad's Affair Partner/Wife So Miserable That She Left Him
My mom was diagnosed with leukemia when I was a child and she was sick for five years. Not long after the diagnosis my dad started having an affair with another woman. When he found out mom was terminal he started telling some of his friends and family and he told them his plan was to marry his affair partner once mom was gone. Someone told me after my mom died. I was a preteen at the time and I hated that woman. At the time I was angry at my dad but not nearly enough. He did marry her and it pissed me off so bad at her.
I made her life a living hell for over two years until she left him. I told everyone that she was the other woman and slept with a sick woman's husband. I humiliated her in front of people she worked with, neighbors and people she stopped to speak to. She tried very hard to spend time with me and bond with me and I used those times to make her life awful. I think I insulted nearly every meal she cooked, I compared her in an unfavorable way to my mom and I asked her questions that were designed to make her very unhappy. Like how did it feel sleeping with another woman's husband or how did it feel to be a gross person with no morals.
Eventually she ended their marriage because she couldn't interact with a single person if I was there without them being told exactly what she did. And I believe she said I caused her to miscarry with all of the stress.
By the time I finished high school I hated my dad for what he did and stopped talking to him completely.
#37
I’ve Been Hiding Something From My Boyfriend For The Past 2 Years And Now I Need To Take It To My Grave
My boyfriend (26M) and I (23F) living together for the last two years.
We come from somewhat different financial backgrounds. His family wasn’t particularly well off growing up, whereas mine was relatively comfortable. The first time I brought him to a soirée with some boarding school mates, he mentioned that he really liked a perfume one of them was wearing. It was a tad pricey though, so he decided against buying it.
Long story short, I eventually found an excuse to buy it for him, and he’s been wearing it ever since. After a few months, I managed to persuade him to let me replace it whenever he ran out. However, I started noticing that he was using it more sparingly than before. Even though he works in finance, I work in law and earn more than enough to comfortably afford it, he still feels guilty spending money on himself.
Since then, I’ve quietly been refilling his bottle every week from a larger bottle I keep hidden away so that it lasts much longer. The problem is that he has no idea I’ve been doing this, and now I don’t think I can ever tell him.
#38
I Got A Massive Raise Two Years Ago And I Still Pretend To Be Broke Around My Family
Two years ago I landed a senior engineering job that more than doubled my income. I went from barely scraping by on forty-five grand to making over one hundred and forty thousand a year.
i have not told a single soul in my family.
I grew up in a household where money was a constant weapon. Anytime someone had twenty extra dollars in their checking account, three different cousins or my dad would show up with an emergency sob story demanding a loan that never got paid back. If you said no, you were labeled selfish and frozen out of family holidays.
So I made a choice. I still drive my beat-up 2011 Honda with the squeaky fan belt. When my family talks about rising rent or how expensive eggs are at Sunday dinner, I nod along, complain about my budget, and act like I am one bad paycheck away from disaster.
Meanwhile I max out my retirement accounts and put thousands away into index funds every month.
I feel like a fake everyday of my life sitting at their table lying to their faces, but I know that telling the truth would DESTROY my peace forever. I should of been able to share my success with the people who raised me. Why does money have to turn family into parasites?
#39
Secret Pto
I don’t keep a lot of secrets from my wife and family as a father of three beautiful kids who I love to death. But sometimes, in secret, I’ll plan a day when all of my kids will be at school and my wife will be working a full day.
i get up early, make breakfast, walk the dogs, take the kids to school, and then tell my wife I’m heading off to work. Right as she’s about to leave, I circle the block, go back home, call in sick, and just sleep in on PTO for the entire day.
It’s honestly some of the happiest days of my life being able to go back to sleep at like 8:30 in the morning and sleep straight through until about 1:00 or 2:00 p.m. It’s amazing. It's a secret I'll take to my grave with me. My wife has yet to catch on.
#40
It’s The Little Things
I am a foot and a half taller than my wife. So when I take a shower I make sure to set the shower head as high as possible. Then when she gets in she can’t reach it to lower it and she has to call me in. So I get to see her [undressed]. She has yet to realize that setting is too high for even me.
Not that I can’t see her [undressed] pretty much any time but still. It’s the little things.
#41
I Stole My Son's Teacher's Keys
My son has Asperger's which is like autism-lite. We've done extensive therapy and intervention and for the most part he is no different than any other kid his age except he comes across as shy and a bit nerdy (saying that with love).
The only issue we had at school was that he would become overwhelmed, panic and run out of the classroom. Of course that is not okay. We and school decided to allow him to take quick breaks to decompress when he starts feeling overwhelmed. He has not had an "incident" since the 3rd grade.
He started the 6th grade last year and it's hard for any kid, especially for an Aspie's kid. We met with all of his teacher's and reminded them that he has this accommodation in writing and he will likely need to use it since middle school is tough for an Aspie kid. All but one of his teacher's understood that and were supportive.
His math teacher is just a nasty [jerk]. She's one of those teachers that should not be a teacher. We're not those crazy in-your-face parents. We just want what's best for our son and work with his teachers to do so. We kept on reminding her, verbally and in writing, especially as our son's anxiety started to grow around her.
Imagine my surprise when I get a call from his counselor telling me to pick my son up. Apparently he had bolted from her classroom and ran out to the field. The principal and a counselor tried to escort him to the office and he refused unless they called me. It horrified me because I've seen videos of cops being called and tasering or hitting special needs kids. When I got there, my son was very upset. It was like watching years of progress unravel.
Apparently, he started to feel overwhelmed in her class because she's a [jerk]. She tuned on the heat too high and closed all the doors. He felt trapped and claustrophobic. When he asked for a break, she refused and told him to sit down or get detention. That only fueled his anxiety more and he exploded.
The school quickly accepted that the situation was handled poorly by the teacher. I requested that he switch classes and even threaten to get a lawyer for not following the accommodations that they are required by law to follow. That got their attention quickly. They did not send him back to her class; rather he went to another class until the matter was resolved. The teacher did get into trouble and wanted to discuss it with us before pulling him out of her class.
We met with her and she was just a nasty [jerk]. She accused our son of using his diagnosis as a crutch and he needed to grow up. I wanted to slap her. She went to take a phone call and I saw her keys on her desk. I put them in my pocket and we finished our conversation and I politely thanked her for her time.
Then I threw her keys in a dumpster and got my son pulled out of her class the next day. That made my day lol.
#42
I Have Conversations With My [late] Son In The Car
My 13 year old [passed away] in Peru after getting caught in a whirlpool. We were on vacation. His mom (my ex) blamed me and our other son also blames me so he doesn't speak to me. He's now 13 too. I don't force him to see me. When I drive home from work, I pretend that I am talking to my son about how his day was at school, what kind of music he wants to listen to, what he wants for dinner, etc. That is why I haven't gotten a new car. There are just too many memories.
#43
Not Getting Married Was The Best Decision I Ever Made
Me (29M) and my partner (28F) met 8 years ago just before I graduated and we clicked almost immediately. A few months after I graduated, she and her 3 year old son moved in with me. Right after graduating, I started making low 6 figures working for a large bank and then went on to do my own thing having a very lucrative career. My income was more than enough to support the 3 of us so I was comfortable letting her stay home, work on her hobbies and volunteering.
I thought our relationship was going well, she's been pressing me to get married for the last 4 years but the time never seemed right because I wanted to get my own business off of the ground first and she seemed comfortable with that. Last week, she asked me what I thought about open relationships and whether we could open ours. I know why she asked, I spend a lot of time travelling for work and she probably wants some action on the side while I'm away working, hell she might already have something on the side. I knew right then we were done but I needed to find out how screwed I was before pulling the trigger.
I set up a meet with a lawyer my friend knew and I have to admit I was scared, I'd heard stories of how men were raked over the coals in divorces all the time so I walked into the lawyer's office expecting to lose 50% of everything and more. At first things looked bleak but then he asked how long we had been married. When I told him that we weren't married, he called me "The luckiest mf to ever walk into his office". Common law marriage doesn't exist here which means that when we split up, she gets precisely...nothing...zero...zip...nada. I'm trying to figure out the best time to tell her we're done but that's all I have to say. Not getting married was the smartest decision I've ever made.
#44
As A Black Man, If I Ever Find Myself Walking On A Quite Sidewalk At Night And See A White Woman, I Will Immediately Move To The Other Side Of The Street So As To Not Seem Threatening
There is a reason for everything.
I will never forget how this white woman made me feel. April 2016. 10pm at night and I get a little hungry and decide to head to the nearest store to grab some food. It would be closer to walk than to drive so I head out the door and proceed to walk the two blocks to the store.
The streets are quiet and empty and to the far distance, I see a white woman park her car and walk to her apartment entrence. She sees me from the corner of her eye and I can tell she's nervous. She proceeds to put the key in the door lock to open but by this time she is shaking and drops the key. By then, I've gotten closer and am only about 20 feet away from her. She looks at me terror-stricken and begins to scream from the top of her lungs, banging on the door for help. I proceed to walk right past her and head to the store.
I didn't do anything. I was just a black man walking to get some food. And for some reason, I couldn't help but think I was the one in the wrong. I felt guilty for making her feel so scared.
From then on, anytime I come across a woman at night, I walk to the other side of the street so she feels safe and isn't threatened by me. It's sad this is what I have to resort to but until black people stop being labeled and stereotyped, myself along with other black men in this country will have to resort to similar measures.
#45
I Only Realised That People Shower Daily When I Was 16
I just had no idea. I had a bath once maybe twice a week, and thought that was standard. It wasn't until I went to a boarding school that I realised people would usually shower daily.
Thing is, I grew up in quite an isolated location in a foreign country with only my sister and alcoholic mum. My mum didn't so much clean the house or cook food, she just drank. My sister and I weren't really clued up on what normal families did. For as long as I remember, I cooked the stuff I could, washed my own clothes, if my mum was too wasted I would cycle (about 5 miles up steep hills) to school, and generally looked after myself. I didn't know how often people changed bedsheets or brushed their teeth. Simple things you'd usually learn from family went a miss. I didn't even know how to wash dishes manually since we had a dishwasher.
It was a weirdly embarrassing moment learning how different I'd been living before boarding school. I learnt how to open bottles with a pair of keys for my mum whilst she drove before I learnt that you shouldn't drink and drive. I knew we grew up a bit different, but entering the normal world was a big eye-opener.
#46
I Left My Husband After 30 Years And 3 Kids.
We were married on February 4th, 1989. I was 15 years old. He was 16 years old. He looked at me like I hung the stars in the sky.
Our parents had approved of us. The wedding preparations had been in process for a few weeks, but we had met at the beginning of the week, when we were engaged. He did all the talking. I didn't see him again until the wedding.
It was a beautiful day. It's hard to remember now, and everything blurs together, but I remember thinking about how my world was ending by the time the end of the day came.
I never wanted to be married. I never wanted to have kids. But I didn't say anything that first night, or any nights after that. Not after the birth of our first son, nor after the birth of the twins. He did everything to make me happy, and I'll never forget that.
I've gotten the divorce papers ready. I've moved out my things. He's devastated, the children hate me, but that's okay. I know I'm a terrible person for ruining this. I have no idea what I'll do after this. I have no high school education, no work experience either. I'm in my 40s, and I've wasted a lot of my life being unhappy. If there's anything you can learn from this, don't be like me.
#47
I've Manipulated My Husband By Strategically Sleeping With Him For More Than 20 Years
I've been married for going on 30 years. Many, many years ago I realized that on the weekends if I got up in the morning and did whatever I needed to do (made breakfast, took care of kids, cleaned, etc) my husband would just stay in bed all day and watch TV. If I wanted to take the kids somewhere, or suggested we go shopping or hiking or hang out with friends or literally anything, my husband would say he's worked hard all week and he wants to just relax, so we'd do nothing all weekend long. BUT if I started the morning by sleeping with him, shortly after we were done he'd get up and take a shower and be ready to go conquer the world.
So if I want to have a lazy day at home, I get up and do whatever I want. But if I want to go do something, I sleep with him first thing in the morning. I know I'm intentionally manipulating him, and I don't actually care because I feel like he's getting what he wants, and so am I.
#48
I Have Over 300 Rolls Of Toilet Paper
But not because of hoarding. I just keep forgetting to cancel automatic Amazon orders. Apparently, after a year of forgetting, I now own a goldmine. Worse yet, I have a bidet.
#49
I Use Tarot To Read My Loved Ones To Filth
i’m a psychologist who is often frustrated by all the self defeating, maladaptive behaviors i see in my friends that would be honestly quite easy to adjust if they were open to hearing about it and doing the work needed to succeed.
but no one likes hearing that. i’ve had 2 friends ask me what their flaws were and they did NOT like hearing it. it’s just a thing people do, they don’t wanna hear what their emotional weakness is.
but i got into tarot in the last year or so and everyone kept saying im really good at it. like my readings come true and the things i tell them to anticipate and work for actually pan out and for half a second i delulu’d myself into wondering if im some kinda seer.
but no, certainly not. tarot cards are barnum statements and that means they can mean /whatever/ you want them to.
including for example “this card says you’re bringing a lot of trauma from your previous relationships and into this new one. the next card says when communication is needed, you shut down instead of listening to what is being said. you’ll never be happy in a relationship if you let this pattern continue. uh THE CARDS SAY instead of lashing out in the moment, you should take time to yourself to contemplate and understand before acting.”
like if you make people think it’s the CARDS telling them rather than you, suddenly they are highly responsive to therapeutic methods
LOOOL GET TREATED IDIOTS
#50
I Ghosted My Long-Term BF
Got into an argument which lead him to say “I could care less about you. If you [passed away] tomorrow, I wouldn’t go to your funeral”. I didn’t say anything back, just never spoke to him again. He’s tried to contact me several times since, but I want those to be the last words he’s ever said to me.
#51
I Found A Friends Reddit Account And It's Sad
We aren't like best friends but we know each other pretty well. Today I noticed a pic. from my city someone posted, So I clicked on their user name and started snooping, wondering if I could figure out if I knew them and Holy Moly I sure do. How you may ask, well he...yes he, he post a lot of picture on another sub of his dog and newish adopted cat (didn't know he had a cat but this will be important soon). I started reading his comments/posts and I feel so bad for him. First of all the love of his life past a few years ago, and he came upon a little dog and he fell in love with this at the most 6lbs Chihuahua (named baby), Picture a 56year old, 6 foot 4inch biker dude with a beard that hangs down to his chest that carries a small Chihuahua in his jacket pocket or in the summer the dog goes in a fanny pack and rides with the dog on his motorcycle. It's the most adorable thing I have ever seen. Why is this sad, well like I said, I didn't know he had a cat. After reading his post its clear he has kept the info about the cat a secret, cause people made fun of him with such a small dog for his size. he told me one time about how much baby had help him after his wife past, he talked, he cried and hugged baby and if it wasn't for this little doggy he would've/and planned to [end his life]. He said he planned to ride to Colorado and drive off a mountain. In the post of pic's he found this kitten wet, cold and starving. Took the cat to the vet for all its shots and he talks so passionately about his new love. I'm thinking about sending him a message on the pretense of just checking up on him since its been before Thanksgiving since I spoke to him. hoping he will say something about the cat, so I can reassure him he has nothing to hide. but I'm not sure how to really approach this subject or just leave it alone. This man has a heart of gold who helps anyone no matter what he's doing he'll stop just to listen or give a helping hand.
now before anyone asked about how do I know for sure its him. I know his house and yard, in the pic's I noticed items that are in his house, his back patio with the same furniture and a smoker (that he built, it's a one of a kind) plus a ring that he always wears.
I"m not even sure if I have posted this on the right sub, if this is the wrong sub. sorry please forgive me.
EDIT: Thanks everyone, I did text him, Just with HI how have you been? we need to hang out some time for a couple of beers. And guess what!! he told me about the black kitten he found in Kansas on a work trip. He so proud of that little thing. He named her Momma, cause she gives him the same side look his wife would give him and that was what his nickname was for his wife.LOL. We are meeting up this weekend at our old beer joint in town. I'm happy for him, he seems like he's in a good place now.
#52
I Thought I Would Never Be Able To Get A Job
When i was younger my mom talked to me about how my online footprint could affect my future and i started crying bc i thought i would never be able to get a job bc i looked up cheat codes for lego star wars TCS.
#53
I Am The One Who Farted And Ruined Lunch For Everyone
Someone had fried chicken delivered to the office for all to share. The smell was potent and delicious, filling the entire building. Shortly afterward I farted, one of those long warm ones, and it was also very potent. The smells mingled in a way that nature never intended. Needless to say everyone was confused and upset. I saw someone gag into their hand and put down their chicken thigh, never picking it back up. Nobody knows it was me.
#54
A Little Chaos
Sometimes I downvote people who are arguing so that they think they’re downvoting each other.
#55
Sometimes On Reddit I Subtly Imply That I’m A Man
Because when I reveal that I’m a woman, my comments are taken less seriously by Redditors and I receive harsher replies.
#56
By July, I Will Have Written 3 Full Length Novels In A Year, 8 Total In 7 Years
I don't share this with many friends or family for fear that I'll be accused of bragging. I just wanted to get off my chest that I am proud of myself. For once.
#57
Since My Wife's Back Problems Started I've Been Sleeping Like A Baby
15 years of marriage, traditionally my wife is someone who doesn't like to be touched while they sleep. Usually She wakes up like it's a 5 alarm fire if even my feet touch her sometimes.
Her lower back problems have started up again and she's been sleeping with my arm as a pillow but for a couple weeks now it's progressed into her sleeping with her head on my chest and leg and arms across me, essentially using me as a body pillow/teddy bear. We don't know why this relieves the pain, but it helps her to fall asleep. She used to wake me up and ask for my arm, but two times this week I've woken up to the full on body pillow style snugs.
When I was a lonely teenager I used to put my free weights inside my pillow and lay them on top of me so I would know what it would feel like to have someone lay on you that way. This is literally my dream come true.
#58
I Broke My Roommate's Heirloom Coffee Mug, Bought An Exact Duplicate On Ebay, And Now She Thinks Her Hands Are Losing Sensation
Back in March, I dropped my roommate's favorite ceramic mug on the kitchen tile. It shattered into fifty pieces.
It wasn't just a regular mug. It was a vintage 1970s handmade pottery piece that her late grandmother gave her before she passed. She drank black coffee out of it every single morning without fail.
i completely panicked. I swept up the ceramic shards, shoved them into an empty coffee container, and drove three blocks away to throw it in a public park dumpster so she wouldn't find it in our kitchen trash.
Then I spent four hours reverse image searching the pottery maker mark from the base.
I got lucky and found the exact same artisan model on eBay for $140. I paid an extra $50 for overnight priority shipping. The box arrived three hours before she got home from her weekend trip, and I quietly placed it back on the drying rack.
She didn't notice the switch at first. But a week later, she was holding it at breakfast and frowned. She said the handle felt slightly lighter than she remembered and wondered if her hand arthritis was flaring up again.
Last week, she actually booked an appointment with a neurologist because she is convinced she is LOSING sensory perception in her fingers.
its making me feel like a monster. If I tell the truth now, I look like a psychotic liar who hid it for months. Why did I do this?
#59
It Bothers Me When People Don’t Wave After You Let Them In During Traffic
And that includes a smile, nod or other form of acknowledgement.
Might just be that driving in general changes your personality but I find it rude.
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