“She Wants To Quit Her Job Permanently To Become Lazy”: Man At Crossroads After Wife Changes

I understand completely her point of view. She might feel like it will take forever to recharge but it will not. As a person who has had a hyperactive life before, she will get bored in a few months max. My BF had burnout like this 2 years ago. We had enough savings for him not to work at least half a year. For a week he did nothing and then he started to do little projects around the house. After two months he got himself a low-paced work that he did in 2 months. After that, he went back to work at full speed. We thought that he'd need at least half a year, and it only took 4 months for him to get back to normal. Now is my turn. I quit my job 4 weeks ago. I told to myself that I'd take some 3 months off, but I am already getting restless. Did a lot for myself already, and I think in a week or two, I'll start to look for a new job. My point is that she thinks that she will never want to go back to her old lifestyle, and he took that as a fact and got scared. She will.

Sit down and do a budget, ask her to cost out and budget what she'd like. Work out what level of income you need as a couple to give each of you the lifestyle you want. Work out how much she needs to contribute if you stay in your current job. There's no reason she can't move to a less demanding job, or more WFH, or freelance, as long as she is being reasonable about her expectations. Expecting you to carry all the financial burdens for the household, while she works for pocket money, is not reasonable. If she's burning out, cutting back her hours by 20% or finding a WFH role might let her rearrange her life to cut the "hustle pressure", without making him carry all the responsibility.

Can you imagine a man saying "I don't want you to work, you belong in the home cooking and cleaning and I'll be the provider!" Women have spent many years trying to be equal in a "man's world" and you get her suggesting this??? She can do other things, but wants to be a kept woman? You need to work more years of savings and retirement before you should contemplate this! It's not fair at all. Imagine how he would be lashed had he suggested this???? I'm worried for your marriage!

I think that the OP is being a bit melodramatic. Just because she is burnt out now and wants to practice a little self care, that doesn't automatically equate to a lifetime of alternative work. I think they both need counseling, individual and marital.

My ex husband HATED his job so much and was miserable. I told him I would rather he take a job making less and b happier. He wouldn't do. Instead he spent insane amounts of money on hobbies to make himself feel better, to the point where we struggled paying bills, making over $100k/yr together. And ANY TIME I expressed being miserable and wanting to try a different career, I wasn't supported because it would mean downgrading our income and less money for his hobbies. I left him after 18 years of marriage and over 20 together. Literally HALF of my life. So OP, u have to either find a way to compromise, or u will find urself single. One way or another. I'm not saying let her do 100% what she wants, but there has to b something here. Sounds like OP is more concerned with his lifestyle and fancy apartment, then the health and happiness of his spouse.

I think your wife needs a different husband. You want a workhorse to contribute half the rent etc. She wants a traditional marriage where the husband contributes more of the money. Split up the assets and get on with your lives.

I have literally no respect for stay at home wives. It's such a lazy way to live and I feel second hand embarrassment for them. This woman is in a high demand field with an education, she could find another job that's less stressful and probably make about the same money. OP is right, she just wants to be lazy, he should leave her now before she tanks his credit on useless s**t

Op should be the provider?... You hear that? That rattling sound of a feminist dragging a baseball bat on the ground? That sexist pos is a shame to all the Sisterhood! Ho don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being a stay at home wife, there is, however, BIG issues leeching on your partner and big SEXIST issue in doing it because they're "the man" and it's their "masculin" duty to provide her lifestyle.

Ask her to consider taking a 3 month hiatus. Call it a mental health break a d it might qualify as FMLA. Give her a chance to start her business and maybe she can do both part-time. You're accustomed to the income so that would be more than fair.

I hate these posts. The guy only shared his side of the story. She could be quitting to save her mental health, her sanity. He's being just a selfish as she is. Sound like they are better off without each other.

If she won’t go to counseling with you, go alone.

Sounds like trouble. This is just the start of her taking advantage of you so she can live a "soft" life. Go F*** Yourself b*tch

She doesn’t seem to want to do anything to help herself (in person counselling), marriage counselling to help repair/keep the marriage together, or choose to live in the real world. Counselling in “secret”? Maybe a visit to a divorce lawyer in “secret” is called for. She wants to live the soft life? Go ahead, but she’s then actually on her own to figure out how she’s going to do that. Maybe start buying lottery tickets? I hear the Powerball can net you a fortune.

divorce her, hopefully no kids. let her find another sucker to free load from

In order: get an attorney, move assets, and then get counseling. In my experience, when a partner starts acting like this, they’re either planning on or having an affair. Your marriage is over.