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“Not Enough For A Divorce”: Woman Realizes She’s Her Husband’s Secret, Still Wants To Stay
Woman in a red dress sitting on the floor looking upset, reflecting on man prioritizing work over family life.

“Not Enough For A Divorce”: Woman Realizes She’s Her Husband’s Secret, Still Wants To Stay

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Imagine being married for 15 years only to discover that you’ve been the “secret family” all along… That’s exactly what happened to one woman who has given up much of her life to be a stay-at-home mom while her husband spends most of his time working.

The woman has shared how it only dawned on her recently that something wasn’t right. Her husband even told her and the kids to pretend not to know him while on vacation. He claims the family will ruin his professional reputation, but netizens are urging the wife to open her eyes and see things for what they are.

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    On the surface, they seem like a happy family with a wonderful life and financial stability

    Woman in red nightwear sitting on bedroom floor, looking distressed, reflecting on family and work priorities.

    Image credits: monkeybusiness / Envato (not the actual photo)

    But in reality, the mom and kids are being kept a secret, and “work” always takes priority in the dad’s life

    Woman shares struggles with husband who prioritizes work, pretending not to have a family, while she wants to stay in marriage.

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    Text excerpt about a man prioritizing work over family, highlighting sacrifices and financial comfort for kids and spouse.

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    Text showing a man prioritizes work to the point he pretends not to have a family, expressing love for kids but feeling unrecognized.

    Text about a man prioritizing work over family while his wife knows and struggles to stay in the relationship.

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    Text excerpt describing a man prioritizing work and pretending not to have a family, while his wife is aware and wants to stay.

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    Text about a man prioritizing work while maintaining family and wife’s understanding despite challenges.

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    Text excerpt showing a man struggling with prioritizing work over family, feeling shaken and needing to open up.

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    Text about a man prioritizing work over family while his wife wants to stay and maintain their marriage and family life.

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    Text about a man in sales with gaslighting skills who prioritizes work and pretends not to have a family.

    Text about man prioritizing work over family during vacations, highlighting family challenges and wife’s decision to stay.

    Text about a man prioritizing work with client emergencies, ignoring family time while his wife wants to stay.

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    Man prioritizes work late at night, talking on phone and using laptop, ignoring family life and personal time.

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    Text about a man prioritizing work over family, scheduling conflicts with trips and conferences revealing work focus.

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    Man prioritizes work over family, pretending to have no family while wife understands and wants to stay.

    Text excerpt from an employee explaining the need to pretend not to know a man who prioritizes work over family.

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    Text excerpt discussing a man prioritizing work over family, while wife observes his behavior and wishes to stay.

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    Text excerpt showing a man describing caring for family despite prioritizing work and feeling exhausted and sick.

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    Man prioritizes work, neglects family time, wife aware yet chooses to stay despite his busy schedule.

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    Text describing a man prioritizing work heavily, pretending not to have family while his wife knows and wants to stay.

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    Text describing a man prioritizing work over his sick wife, ignoring her needs and focusing on emails late into the night.

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    Text excerpt about a man who prioritizes work over family, causing strain with his wife who wants to stay despite it.

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    Text excerpt discussing a man prioritizing work over family, with the wife feeling unimportant despite his role as a dad.

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    Man prioritizes work at laptop while wife stands behind holding baby, showing emotional distance in family.

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    Text excerpt showing a man expressing exhaustion and feeling overlooked, highlighting work-life balance challenges.

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    Text showing a wife canceling planned couple activities as her man prioritizes work and pretends not to have a family.

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    Text expressing refusal to marry again and desire for personal freedom by relying only on oneself for happiness.

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    Text expressing struggle with vulnerability, seeking advice on handling work and family priorities without judgment.

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    Workaholism is “the best-dressed problem of the twenty-first century” – an expert’s opinion

    Just like many of the other “isms,” workaholism is an addiction. Being married to your job, obsessed with your work, and unable to see past the thing that brings in the money. But it often comes at the expense of other important things in your life, like your family, friends, and sometimes even your mental health.

    At least one study has found that couples dealing with workaholism have more stress and lower relationship satisfaction. That research revealed that workaholics are less involved in family duties, provide less support to their partners, and this, in turn, causes more interpersonal conflict. Partners of workaholics might often feel lonely, neglected, unseen, and disconnected.

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    Bryan E. Robinson is a psychotherapist and author of ‘Chained to the Desk in a Hybrid World.’ He calls workaholism “the best-dressed problem of the twenty-first century.” But Robinson says that because it’s become such a big problem, it requires more understanding and less judgment.

    “If I fight my workaholism, that’s like fighting the fire department when your house is on fire,” he explains. “You add stress. You don’t fight yourself. You don’t attack yourself. You bring compassion to it.”

    Robinson admits to once being a workaholic himself back when he was a college professor. He’s said that his anxiety would rise when he wasn’t working. “His work compulsion — even while on vacation — led to frayed relations with his spouse,” reported NPR.

    There are several symptoms of being a workaholic, according to the expert. “One is the internal signs, and those can be physical, physiological, stress-related symptoms, such as gastrointestinal issues, anxiety, and headaches. And psychosomatic illnesses,” he says.

    The other is from the outside, adds the expert. “I’m kind of amazed at some of the employers that I work with, actually,” revealed Robinson during a podcast. “They don’t want workaholics working for them because they feel like they’re really not as productive — they’re so busy manufacturing work that they don’t get done what needs to get done.”

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    He advises treating workaholism like any other addiction. It takes much introspection and self-awareness to get your power back.

    “One of the ways is paying attention to what’s going on inside,” Robinson explains. “We have parts or protectors that take over, and they eclipse us. They eclipse who we really are sometimes. And recovery, healthy living, and happiness are about not allowing these aspects of us to run the show and pull us around by the nose.”

    He adds that none of us are passengers in our bodies, and therefore, we shouldn’t let things drive us. “We want to get out of the steering wheel, and whatever is driving us, we want to put it in the passenger seat and fasten the seat belt. But everybody wants to be driving their own life.”

    “Get checked for STDs”: not everyone believed the ‘workaholic’ excuse

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    Man prioritizes work over family, wife aware and choosing to stay despite emotional distance.

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    Man prioritizes work over family, pretending not to have a wife, while she knows and wants to stay in the marriage.

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    What do you think ?
    Tyranamar Seuss
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's sleeping with the boss. He's told the boss he and his wife are on the outs. That's why he doesn't want them to acknowledge him.

    Carrie de Luka
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought that as well. If other people have family there, why would he be so sketchy? No, he is not being faithfull to the marriage.

    Load More Replies...
    Jenna Kay
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At one point I felt much like she does. We never had a lot of money, and thankfully I work, but my husband worked crazy hours and took calls for work at all hours. Go on vacation - he has to answer emails and take calls, go on a cruise - the company literally paid the call plan so they could call him whenever they needed him. So, what happened? I had a breakdown, did some stupid things, and by the time my husband realized how bad it was, everyone in the family had taken sides. I went to therapy, I started taking medication, and he changed. He started dealing with the reasons he acted the way he did. It's been a hard road, very hard, but we are closer and better together than we ever have been in the past. He tells me how he feels now, he talks to me, he quit his job and took one that made half, and you know what ... we are actually happy now. Yes, money is tight, but that's okay. We drive old cars, that's okay too. We can't afford to take vacations, but we are together.

    Nikole
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I felt this so much too. I wasn't exactly in the same situation, but I know what it feels like to be relegated to a secondary or even tertiary space in someone's life. The ex this reminds me of was so concerned with appearances and showing off money, making me feel less than because I didn't make as much as him and his friends, and that I was less of a priority because of this. And of course he blamed his ADHD for his lack of consideration. Sigh. He got married a few years ago and sometimes I wonder how that's going... I'm glad things are better for you now, Jenna :)

    Load More Replies...
    Orysha
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not enough for divorce ? That's enough for mur.der. The first time he told Op not to acknowledge him because of his work, she should have gone nonetheless and make very clear to everyone she was her wife. Op and their kids are not their secret family to his job they are the secret family to the person he cheats on OP with. Maybe he has another family too.

    Load More Comments
    Tyranamar Seuss
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's sleeping with the boss. He's told the boss he and his wife are on the outs. That's why he doesn't want them to acknowledge him.

    Carrie de Luka
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought that as well. If other people have family there, why would he be so sketchy? No, he is not being faithfull to the marriage.

    Load More Replies...
    Jenna Kay
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At one point I felt much like she does. We never had a lot of money, and thankfully I work, but my husband worked crazy hours and took calls for work at all hours. Go on vacation - he has to answer emails and take calls, go on a cruise - the company literally paid the call plan so they could call him whenever they needed him. So, what happened? I had a breakdown, did some stupid things, and by the time my husband realized how bad it was, everyone in the family had taken sides. I went to therapy, I started taking medication, and he changed. He started dealing with the reasons he acted the way he did. It's been a hard road, very hard, but we are closer and better together than we ever have been in the past. He tells me how he feels now, he talks to me, he quit his job and took one that made half, and you know what ... we are actually happy now. Yes, money is tight, but that's okay. We drive old cars, that's okay too. We can't afford to take vacations, but we are together.

    Nikole
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I felt this so much too. I wasn't exactly in the same situation, but I know what it feels like to be relegated to a secondary or even tertiary space in someone's life. The ex this reminds me of was so concerned with appearances and showing off money, making me feel less than because I didn't make as much as him and his friends, and that I was less of a priority because of this. And of course he blamed his ADHD for his lack of consideration. Sigh. He got married a few years ago and sometimes I wonder how that's going... I'm glad things are better for you now, Jenna :)

    Load More Replies...
    Orysha
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not enough for divorce ? That's enough for mur.der. The first time he told Op not to acknowledge him because of his work, she should have gone nonetheless and make very clear to everyone she was her wife. Op and their kids are not their secret family to his job they are the secret family to the person he cheats on OP with. Maybe he has another family too.

    Load More Comments
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