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“AITAH For Being Mad At My Husband For His Behavior After I Got An IUD Inserted?”: Woman Gets A Wake-Up Call
Between11% and 17% of women experience severe pain from an IUD insertion. And if you’re unfortunately part of that statistic, you may require extra aftercare to help make your recovery more bearable.
However, the poor woman in this story had a miserable experience thanks to her husband. Not only did he force her to have the procedure, but he was also far from helpful while she tried to recoup.
The author snapped at her spouse out of frustration, which made her ask the AITAH subreddit if she had reacted wrongly.
RELATED:
IUD insertions are more painful for some people
Image credits: Alex Green / pexels (not the actual photo)
A woman reluctantly had the procedure after being pressured by her husband
Image credits: fotozanemeiere / envato (not the actual photo)
She made an effort to have a smooth recovery, but her husband made things difficult for her
Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
The frustrating situation caused the author to snap, and she wondered if she was wrong for doing so
Image source: Single-Bus-4025
Certain situations cause women to feel more pain during IUD insertions
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / pexels (not the actual photo)
There are a few possible reasons why IUD insertions are more painful for some women than others. Studies have shown that those who have gone through childbirth may experience less discomfort.
More research is required to reach a more definite conclusion. However, University of New Mexico’s Dr. Eve Espey provided a possible explanation in an interview with the New York Times, stating that women who have given birth have a slightly more open cervix. As a result, the insertion may become less painful.
State of mind could also affect how the patient feels during the procedure. In the author’s case, she already expected it to be a dreadful situation.
According to research, anxiety and the anticipation of pain may aggravate the experience. It is likely the reason why some physicians prescribe medications like Xanax or Valium to help calm the person down.
IUD patients must take their aftercare seriously
Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
The author’s efforts to have a smooth recovery are understandable, given the intrusive nature of the IUD procedure. As explained by Florida-based OBGYN Dr. Lona Sasser, some women may experience cramping, irregular bleeding, and spotting.
In an article for her website, Dr. Sasser stated that heavier bleeding and more painful cramps may occur after the first three to six months after the insertion. Some patients may also experience irregular menstrual patterns.
For these reasons, patients must take their aftercare seriously. Dr. Sasser recommends taking acetaminophen and ibuprofen to mitigate the pain and cramping. Placing heat pads or a hot water bottle on the abdomen can also help.
It was bad enough that the husband forced his wife to go through a procedure she didn’t want in the first place. The least he could have done was make life easier for her and not aggravate the situation.
The author’s reaction was warranted in that scenario, as she was probably experiencing different pain levels.
Readers, what do you think? Was she out of line with the way she reacted?
The author provided more details, but most people in the comments sided with her
However, a few people sided with the husband
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What do you think ?
catslave6 1 year ago
I had several IUDS inserted in my life. It is a painful procedure. This man completely discounted your pain, your needs. He didn't 'clean' to be a 'good husband'. I bet he never cleans like that. Think about it, be honest with yourself. He didn't wake you to see what you wanted for dinner. He did that to be obnoxious because your self-care was making him angry. He didn't believe it was necessary, despite the fact this advice came from your doctor. He didn't order food you would like. Not because he did not think you would eat later, but because that was what he wanted. All of these actions were so he could later pretend he was being a caring person and present himself to family and friends in that light. By the comments taking his side in this it was effective action. This is sneaky behavior. This is gaslighting. He is setting you up for a life of emotional pain and abuse. Get out now. He is a serious danger to you. I have seen this happen, had this happen to me. Please, hear me.
A S Mora 1 year ago
Notice the IUD was HIS idea? He wants this woman in pain, confused, and constantly reeling from his temper tantrums while questioning whether or not her own, normal responses are an overreaction. Hope she gets away❣️
Load More Replies...
BlackestDawn 1 year ago
Those YTA's are so unhinged. While there are some important details left out (like exactly what was communicated between them and how things were said) I do not believe she never said she wanted to sleep for X hours or as long as she can after the procedure. Also she says in a comment she told her husband she had specifically set all that stuff out for herself. All I can think of here is that those people value "good intentions" higher than good actions. While I'm sure OP doesn't expect that her husband can read minds I'm sure she expects him to actually use his own and think a bit.
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
Good to see the males mansplaining the pain of a procedure they will never have...
anne chan 1 year ago
Exactly. People with no uterus, has no right to tell others what to do with their uterus
Load More Replies...
Pittsburgh rare 1 year ago
You don't wake up someone after a procedure. You, as an adult, make some dinner they like and let it there to reheat it when they wake up. It's not that complicated. The putting things away could be him trying to help or sabotaging her. Hard to tell. Anyway, these AITA are soooo unreal.
Momma Jess 1 year ago
To the people complaining saying she's being dramatic about the IUD, first of all he pushed her to get it, which isn't cool. Second, everyone's pain threshold is different, what feels like a beesting to one person will feel like razor blades on a sunburn to another, or worse. Glad she at least had some pain management from her Dr, a lot of us didn't get that luxury. Instead of the IUD maybe she should have suggested he get a vasectomy
MC Scott 1 year ago
I had to go under general anaesthetic to have my IUD inserted; everyone has different levels of pain depending on anatomy, medical history, trauma. My partner was very supportive; I feel sorry for OP if this is the best her husband can do.
Load More Replies...
Widdershins66 1 year ago
If I'm asleep or trying to sleep, for whatever reason, and somebody wakes me up to ask if I'm hungry!?!? They're dead 🤦. If I'm hungry I'll wake up all by myself! 🤷
Regina Holt 1 year ago
Especially since she had put snacks out for herself to deal with any hunger if she woke up.
Load More Replies...
DarkViolet 1 year ago (edited)
OP is being emotionally abused. Why else would he nag her to have a procedure that I KNOW that he knows is painful, and isn't always effective? Then he has the unmitigated gall to psychologically tap his foot impatiently because it took longer than he likes. He's an àsshole of the lowest level. I hope OP realizes this and heads for the hills. Having a child with this narc could seal her fate.
Koala ala ala 1 year ago
The husband definitely knew exactly what he was doing and for whatever reason purposefully wanted to make her suffer. He just happened to, without letting her know before, "pop back home and cleaned up" in the short period of time he was meant to be waiting for her to have the procedure done? I call b******t, man's got some issues going on
Sue Ellen Jensen 1 year ago
He totally wants to own her. And, no MAN has any right to dismiss a woman's pain!
Load More Replies...
TribbleThinking 1 year ago
Benefit of doubt that he didn't understand the living room nest. BUT the right thing to do is to put it right or ASK how to put it right. It's that simple. NOT just stand there watching an invalid force herself to walk around, putting it right.
catslave6 1 year ago
I had several IUDS inserted in my life. It is a painful procedure. This man completely discounted your pain, your needs. He didn't 'clean' to be a 'good husband'. I bet he never cleans like that. Think about it, be honest with yourself. He didn't wake you to see what you wanted for dinner. He did that to be obnoxious because your self-care was making him angry. He didn't believe it was necessary, despite the fact this advice came from your doctor. He didn't order food you would like. Not because he did not think you would eat later, but because that was what he wanted. All of these actions were so he could later pretend he was being a caring person and present himself to family and friends in that light. By the comments taking his side in this it was effective action. This is sneaky behavior. This is gaslighting. He is setting you up for a life of emotional pain and abuse. Get out now. He is a serious danger to you. I have seen this happen, had this happen to me. Please, hear me.
A S Mora 1 year ago
Notice the IUD was HIS idea? He wants this woman in pain, confused, and constantly reeling from his temper tantrums while questioning whether or not her own, normal responses are an overreaction. Hope she gets away❣️
Load More Replies... BlackestDawn 1 year ago
Those YTA's are so unhinged. While there are some important details left out (like exactly what was communicated between them and how things were said) I do not believe she never said she wanted to sleep for X hours or as long as she can after the procedure. Also she says in a comment she told her husband she had specifically set all that stuff out for herself. All I can think of here is that those people value "good intentions" higher than good actions. While I'm sure OP doesn't expect that her husband can read minds I'm sure she expects him to actually use his own and think a bit.
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
Good to see the males mansplaining the pain of a procedure they will never have...
anne chan 1 year ago
Exactly. People with no uterus, has no right to tell others what to do with their uterus
Load More Replies... Pittsburgh rare 1 year ago
You don't wake up someone after a procedure. You, as an adult, make some dinner they like and let it there to reheat it when they wake up. It's not that complicated. The putting things away could be him trying to help or sabotaging her. Hard to tell. Anyway, these AITA are soooo unreal.
Momma Jess 1 year ago
To the people complaining saying she's being dramatic about the IUD, first of all he pushed her to get it, which isn't cool. Second, everyone's pain threshold is different, what feels like a beesting to one person will feel like razor blades on a sunburn to another, or worse. Glad she at least had some pain management from her Dr, a lot of us didn't get that luxury. Instead of the IUD maybe she should have suggested he get a vasectomy
MC Scott 1 year ago
I had to go under general anaesthetic to have my IUD inserted; everyone has different levels of pain depending on anatomy, medical history, trauma. My partner was very supportive; I feel sorry for OP if this is the best her husband can do.
Load More Replies... Widdershins66 1 year ago
If I'm asleep or trying to sleep, for whatever reason, and somebody wakes me up to ask if I'm hungry!?!? They're dead 🤦. If I'm hungry I'll wake up all by myself! 🤷
Regina Holt 1 year ago
Especially since she had put snacks out for herself to deal with any hunger if she woke up.
Load More Replies... DarkViolet 1 year ago (edited)
OP is being emotionally abused. Why else would he nag her to have a procedure that I KNOW that he knows is painful, and isn't always effective? Then he has the unmitigated gall to psychologically tap his foot impatiently because it took longer than he likes. He's an àsshole of the lowest level. I hope OP realizes this and heads for the hills. Having a child with this narc could seal her fate.
Koala ala ala 1 year ago
The husband definitely knew exactly what he was doing and for whatever reason purposefully wanted to make her suffer. He just happened to, without letting her know before, "pop back home and cleaned up" in the short period of time he was meant to be waiting for her to have the procedure done? I call b******t, man's got some issues going on
Sue Ellen Jensen 1 year ago
He totally wants to own her. And, no MAN has any right to dismiss a woman's pain!
Load More Replies... TribbleThinking 1 year ago
Benefit of doubt that he didn't understand the living room nest. BUT the right thing to do is to put it right or ASK how to put it right. It's that simple. NOT just stand there watching an invalid force herself to walk around, putting it right.
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