Man Discovers Wife Purposefully Cooks Meals Daughter Won’t Eat, Decides On Divorce

Nothing else in that story mattered the second the wife said she resented the girl for looking like her mother. It was no longer, oh the girls a picky eater, oh the woman is tired of catering to her, oh she doesn't want to upset her son; it's twisted jealously and she's letting the kid starve because of it. That's the only point that matters here.

both kids are 'steps' but he refers to 'his daughter' and 'our son', just thought that was interesting - and how on earth does she keep fruit and vegies fresh for an entire month?!

Look, I understand. I have a child with SPD and food allergies. We have a very limited lost of safe meals (not as severe as a lot of people, but still limited) and it gets exhausting cooking the same meals all the damn time, but you have a moral and legal obligation to make sure children are eating. It's not hard to cook plain meat and vegetables and cook the sauce separately if you want to jazz your meal up either.

My daughter was considered a picky eater until she reacted to small amount of pecans in a caramel. We found out that nuts will kill her. So all the times she turned down peanut butter and other foods was just her way of pointing out that she was having reactions and didn't know what it was. Didn't find out until she was 9 years old. So you just never know. So I cook like a short order cook, so I know what that feels like. But that wasn't the hinge point. The poor child looks like her mother. No reason to neglect.

Starving a child is neglect. And just ignoring a simple solution as putting aside chicken for her is rude. Yeah he mentioned she can cook. I'd wonder if them sharing the kitchen was even brought up. Mom n kid cooking together but making diff meals would be a bonding session. But it seems that her looking like the ex was the issue. All along. So yeah she's selfish and could have talked about it without starving a kid.

What a s****y woman. My bro is a very picky eater so my mum would always make a meal put a container aside for him and then add chilli's and spices to the rest of it. It's really that simple.

Wait.... You told your wife you were divorcing her IN THE PRESCENCE of the children???? If so, that is a d**k move and are a massive arsehole for it. All the rest, I was totally on your side right up until you said you told her about the divorce with the kids there. Makes me wonder what else is really going on?

Idk when we were children if we didn't like what mom cooked we could make a sandwich and eat that. Being picky eater is not an illness but a choice. The girl is not a baby, she can take care of her own food if she's so picky. It's not fair to demand wife to do double grocery shopping and double cooking because girl doesn't eat what everyone else eat. Maybe this girl is spoiled. When we grow up and face poorness, we learn to be not picky eaters.

This is weird and I get the feeling there is quite a lot this guy isn't saying. Having the kids present to drop the divorce bomb? The daughter's extreme avoidance of conflict? Dad saying stuff like "I decided to end the conversation by ignoring my wife"? Dad working 15 hour days regularly and wigging out and pulling that insulting little power play of dumping his wife's cooking and going out to eat over what he believed at the time was a single meal which wasn't to his daughter's exact tastes? The wife's accusations of cheating and weird control issues over trying break the picky food habit (which is actually pretty common, but usually driven by something) and what was she doing with the extra money? The dad arguing with his daughter when she didn't want to be part of their divorce talk and the wife being totally ok with calling him a cheater in front of the kids? And the total absence of the bio mom/ex in all of this, despite her being the apparent cause? Everything just feels off. All in all, I predict they'll divorce and dad will then dump all domestic duties in his daughter, because he'll continue working 15 hour days.

I'm an adult "picky" eater. It's not at all about "making her eat", it's about her senses of taste, smell and texture are making it impossible for her to eat certain things. When I was young, I couldn't stand the texture of green peas. People said "But you can't taste them in this large casserole, surely". No, but I could feel the texture, so I began all meals that contained green peas with meticulously picking out every single one. As an adult, with more mature senses, I can eat the peas, and quite like the taste, but I still feel their distinct texture. This stepmother is like one of the Wicked Stepmothers from the Brothers Grimm's fairy-tales. She SAID she would buy groceries for the daughter, but she didn't, she SAID she would cook for everyone, but purposely made food the daughter couldn't eat. If it was so horrible for her, she ought to have said so, BEFORE she made a teenager starve!!! The daughter can't help what she looks like, it's not HER fault that she looks like her mom!

She is 16 now but we all dont know when it started. Also wife spending money that was supposed to go for daughter's food, on noone knows what. Snacks for the son? Daughter will move out and have to pay for things alone at some point anyway. She could at least save money while living at home, instead of having to work just to be able to eat

Bottom line, she's doing what most step parents do. Prioritize their child and feel their spouse should too. I grew up this way. It's not fair to the daughter. If her food had been purchased, then she could do her own cooking. This CHILD is already using her OWN money to eat. That's not acceptable. I get that making 2 kinds of meals would get old, but he got to the heart of the matter. The daughter was the problem because she wasn't HERS. That's it! THAT'S her horrible crime! The same one I grew up with. My father and stepmom could drive from WA to UT to see my stepbrother in college (and many times my dad made the trip on his own), but it's been 15 years I've been living in AZ and not ONCE has he managed to even consider coming to see me. OP is doing the right thing for his daughter.

Give your daughter the money to buy her groceries. Even if you divorce she is plenty old enough to cook for herself. Maybe she can invite a friend to help cook, so she has a positive team experience. Clearly she's not getting that with your soon to be ex. And you should cook with her when you can. Food should be a family thing from start to finish.

NTA. This woman is abusing your daughter and her behavior says a lot about her character. You're better off without her. The Hubs and I both cook - and have very distinct palates, yet we accommodate each other, making meals using the same basic ingredients but customized to each other's preferences. It's called kindness. Further, "PICKY EATING" is the body's way of getting the nutrition it MOST needs. What you (without being forced) naturally enjoy eating is mostly what's good for your unique biochemistry. My brother when growing up was the pickiest eater, yet as a teen the strongest among us. To give an example. Let's say Hubs and I are having soft-scrambled eggs for breakfast. My plate would consist of eggs, melted cheese, jalepenos, tomatoes, green pepper, mushrooms and onions. His would be eggs, melted cheese, potatoes or hash browns, sausages. It's so easy in a big pan to fry up the potatoes, with sausages first, do veggies apart, then soft scramble eggs with the melted cheese on the two piles. EASY.

I have an autistic friend who is a very picky eater. She knows what she likes and dislikes and gets turned off by certain food textures. I don't know if the autism has anything to do with her pickiness, but if she eats something she doesn't like it makes her upset to her stomach. All this to say that if the daughter is in anyway the same as my friend, she can't simply "get over it" like stepmom thinks she should.

Has no one ever heard of a super-taster? You can be a super-taster, even if you don't have full blown SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder). She's not being picky. She's being ASSAULTED by intense tastes and it's awful. Would you gulp down 3 oz of strong liqueur? No? Too intense? That's what she's feeling every time someone forces her to eat one of the food that attacks her taste buds.

This is asinine. The daughter is 16. I've had to make my own meals since I was 12. If she won't eat dinner, she is more than old enough to make something herself, grab a snack, etc. Why are some people utterly ridiculous?..

Our family has a mix of things each of us don't like to eat. If we're all eating together, we have agreed upon meals we all like or can easily adapt to personal choice. That's what a loving, mature family does. OP's wife is a petty, hateful b***h.

Prepare some food the B**** doesn't like, put the plate in front of her and demand she eats it.

This story is so dramatic. In my family, we have so many allergies and picky eaters. My mom made 9 different meals a day for years. Eventually, she got sick of it, settled on what SHE wanted, and whoever didn't like it fed themselves. Even as a pre-teen it's not difficult to prep a meal. In this case, there are CLEARLY other issues going on, but the husband is quick to jump to divorce. Seems to me like this whole family has some major communication issues, and a lot can be solved by sitting down and talking things through with a professional. This is pretty magnified and exacerbated by strangers online.

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I dunno, man. I want to defend your daughter, but I went to bed hungry often enough because of onions or mushrooms. If she has her own money and is able to buy her own food, that sounds like a great compromise, and a great way to get her started looking after herself.

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16 years old is old enough to cook. The marriage might be over for a variety of reasons. But there is no excuse for raising a child that believes the world revolves around her. He is just setting her up for a failed life.