Guy Calls Wife A Jerk For Trying To Control His Bathroom Time, The Internet Says That He’s The One Who Needs A Reality Check
A recent story shared by a 37-year-old married woman in the AITA community raised people’s eyebrows.
“My husband (40M) and I (37F) live in an apartment with only one bathroom. In the morning, he spends upwards of 40 minutes going to the bathroom, sitting on the toilet, answering emails, scrolling social media, and also, of course, actually using the bathroom,” the woman explained.
That alone probably wouldn’t surprise anyone, but the issue comes down to the fact that the author too, needs to use the toilet at around the same time.
A woman has to beg her husband to let her use the toilet every morning after he spends hours there having “quality time alone”
Image credits: mstandret (not the actual photo)
Image credits: RODNAE Productions (not the actual photo)
Image credits: december2018
Hemorrhoids, a condition often caused by sitting too long on a toilet bowl, affect 75% of adults in the US
It may be tempting to spend more time on the “porcelain throne” than you really need to. But doctors warn that sitting for long periods of time on a toilet may have serious health consequences.
One of the many threats of sitting on the toilet bowl for too long is that it can cause hemorrhoids to appear. Hemorrhoids are veins that swell in the lowest part of the rectum. Hemorrhoids affect 75% of adults during their lifetime, making them one of the most common gastrointestinal problems.
The Mayo Clinic reports that these veins are similar to varicose veins, and they can swell inside the anus and cause a bit of bleeding. On the outside, they can cause a small bulge in the anal area. Symptoms of internal and external hemorrhoids can be bleeding, pain, itching, and swelling.
It’s important to note that the main causes of hemorrhoids are sitting too long on the toilet, pushing or straining during a bowel movement, lack of exercise, pregnancy, and being overweight. Poor diet can also have an impact, but usually a hemorrhoid flareup starts because of the joint multiple factors.
“You shouldn’t spend more than 5 minutes on the toilet,” a doctor warns
Dr. Nina Paonessa, from the Paonessa Colon and Rectal Surgery, explains that spending too much time on the toilet places extreme pressure on your rectum and anus. “On a toilet seat, your rectum is lower than the rest of your buttocks. As a result, gravity pushes down on the veins and blood pools in the veins. If you strain due to constipation, you further increase the pressure, this in turn causing hemorrhoids.”
Dr. Nina warns that you should only sit on the toilet long enough to have a bowel movement, which typically takes a few minutes. What’s more, you shouldn’t spend more than five minutes on the toilet. Unsurprisingly, one of the easiest ways to avoid sitting on the toilet too long is to stop scrolling or reading at the same time.
Many people expressed their support for the author in the comments
Why is she texting him to ask if he's finished? If he'd been there for more than 10 minutes, I'd be banging on the door and loudly telling him to get the hell out of there.
Yep. This would be me too. I would be making it very uncomfortable for him to spend that much time there. Although to be honest... I wonder what else he is so selfish and inconsiderate about. This is a big red flag.
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I would bang the door so loudly that he couldn't have any quality time...wtf..don't be so soft woman...just make his quality time a nightmare..
Awesome! Simple solution, and a good way to demand respect
Load More Replies... Poo in a bucket and leave it outside the bathroom door for him to clean up. Won't happen twice...
In a bucket? No, no. In his shoes. EDIT: And use his favorite shirt for TP.
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Next time you text him to ask if he's done in the bathroom, "accidentally" send it to his friends & family too. After a few days I think he'll speed up. (Me, I'd create a "Are You Done In The Bathroom?" WhatsApp group.)
omg...this is petty and epic at the same time! I love it!
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Damn this brought back terrible memories. Growing up my brother would read on the toilet for around the same amount of time (40 mins or so) when the household of 4+ people were all home, especially straight after school. I have a really weak bladder so I was the most affected and moaned that it wasn't fair (or remotely necessary). My mum seemed to take some sort of warped glee in my distress and maintained I was unreasonable and to 'leave him alone'. I developed major anxiety/issues around having to pee...which they knew about and exacerbated by my brother unlocking and opening the door whenever I used the bathroom (and my mum of course saying nothing). Dare to bring it up now and 'they have no idea what I'm talking about, I must be making it up'. 🙃
This is about control and on some level downright cruel. I’d be pounding on that door the entire time I needed to use the bathroom. No peace until I get to use it. I’d be asking what this is really about. It has nothing to do with alone time.
He should have the common courtesy to ask if his wife needs to use the bathroom before he spend an hour in there. "Hon, do you need the bathroom?" Let her go in there, do her thing on her time, and then when she's done, have your "me" time. Heck, I'm on my way to the bathroom, but someone is coming into the house, I'll stop and ask them if they need to use it first, even if I'm going to be two minutes. Think of someone other than your damn self for once!
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Purchase a second toilet. Don't need to connect it, just place it in the bedroom, or a closet or wherever. He can sit himself down there and do all his emailing ...
My husband and I both were competing for the bathroom recently, but not because we were being jerks to each other. We were both sick. I have never wanted another bathroom so bad in my life.
Oh dear gods! I can only imagine the misery!
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I live with 3 daughters and my wife. We also only have 1 bathroom. I take longer than I'd like to in the bathroom myself due to bowel issues. Knowing it was me causing line ups in the mornings I get up 1.5 hours early. This is to be sure I'm am done and out before the next person is up. It's all part of being considerate of my family. This guy is just being a jerk.
I appreciate your consideration of being on the other side. I hope you are grateful that you have enough faculties to structure your wake up time. Some of us no longer do.
Load More Replies... Time to replace his office chair with an old toilet, to "recreate" his beloved leisure space.
Why would anyone sit on a toilet for one moment longer than needed? Get up and get out
is there any reason why she can't go first since they seem to need to go at the same time? she goes first then he can take as long as he wants. also I would bet anything that he's actually watching porn in there.
Take his office space and install a second bathroom. Or race him to the bathroom next morning and lock yourself in for the rest of the day.
I will never understand people who use their phones on the toilet very unhygienic.
I find it weird how everyone is saying "poo in a bucket/pee in the sink/leave your waste somewhere and explain it later/etc " I think all she has to do is infiltrate the room. Go in the bathroom, chat with him so he doesn't get his "quiet space", and maybe even take off your clothes and jump in the shower/bathtub to do your business. He's got the toilet, might as well make it as uncomfortable as possible so he knows he's taking too long!
I wonder if maybe he does have gastrointestinal issues, but is too afraid to admit it?
You're the only one here who gave any thought to the other side.
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Sometimes people don't understand until it's done to them. Perhaps she should get up first and take an hour wor a couple weeks or until he has to use a public washroom.
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime.... That's why I poop on company time!
Load More Replies... It borderline abuse limiting her access to a resource within their place. Personal response would be barge in on him every time, the majority on indoor doors have a safety release on the other side if the lock. Give him ten minutes then barge in a watch him... it'll embaris him. Your married so you should be able to handle a little big of gross .
WTF is WRONG with him? Do your business and get the f*ck out. He has his own home office???? Your husband is a jerk - maybe THAT's what he's doing? Start pounding on the door - or as someone else suggested, take a c**p in the kitchen sink to make it clear to this self centered a$$hole that other people need to use the bathroom.
Time to kick that self-proclaimed "king" off the throne. First remove the key so he can't lock the door. Give him 10 minutes to do his business and then go in there and pester him. Start with flushing the loo while he's still on it.
Also have one bathroom. Also have husband that takes upwards of 20-30-45 min doing phone stuff in there. I just tell him I have to use the bathroom an he usually gets off the pot. Sometimes he goes back in but me verbally telling him I have to go is better than texting him. Yep everybody poops or pees. We don't have a lock on any interior doors or the bathroom so if I'm in a 911 gotta pee you're not getting out I've even stripped waist down an stepped into the shower to puddle an he knows he's blocked me for too long. But I've adjusted me time to get up a little later when he's done so I can get up an do my morning business. You just have to get him to know his personal potty time needs a morning limit since he works from home. Fair is fair. No potty hogs
Honestly? I'd squat and s**t right by the door so he'd step in it when he walked out of the bathroom. I really REALLY hope that he is now her EX. Because I couldn't live with a man who treated me with such disrespect. That's just over the top in my books.
Every single bit of feedback here, including comments, is completely one sided.
P.S. I absolutely support that the guy in question here should be considerate enough to check with others, but none of you create an environment where that would even be respected !
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He has an office and works from home when she works elsewhere, he has plenty of alone time. They have 2 bedrooms and an office, he has plenty of space. If it is taking him 40+ minutes to get finished then he should probably see a urologist. He's just an inconsiderate b u t t h o l e.
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Why is she texting him to ask if he's finished? If he'd been there for more than 10 minutes, I'd be banging on the door and loudly telling him to get the hell out of there.
Yep. This would be me too. I would be making it very uncomfortable for him to spend that much time there. Although to be honest... I wonder what else he is so selfish and inconsiderate about. This is a big red flag.
Load More Replies... I would bang the door so loudly that he couldn't have any quality time...wtf..don't be so soft woman...just make his quality time a nightmare..
Awesome! Simple solution, and a good way to demand respect
Load More Replies... Poo in a bucket and leave it outside the bathroom door for him to clean up. Won't happen twice...
In a bucket? No, no. In his shoes. EDIT: And use his favorite shirt for TP.
Load More Replies... Next time you text him to ask if he's done in the bathroom, "accidentally" send it to his friends & family too. After a few days I think he'll speed up. (Me, I'd create a "Are You Done In The Bathroom?" WhatsApp group.)
omg...this is petty and epic at the same time! I love it!
Load More Replies... Damn this brought back terrible memories. Growing up my brother would read on the toilet for around the same amount of time (40 mins or so) when the household of 4+ people were all home, especially straight after school. I have a really weak bladder so I was the most affected and moaned that it wasn't fair (or remotely necessary). My mum seemed to take some sort of warped glee in my distress and maintained I was unreasonable and to 'leave him alone'. I developed major anxiety/issues around having to pee...which they knew about and exacerbated by my brother unlocking and opening the door whenever I used the bathroom (and my mum of course saying nothing). Dare to bring it up now and 'they have no idea what I'm talking about, I must be making it up'. 🙃
This is about control and on some level downright cruel. I’d be pounding on that door the entire time I needed to use the bathroom. No peace until I get to use it. I’d be asking what this is really about. It has nothing to do with alone time.
He should have the common courtesy to ask if his wife needs to use the bathroom before he spend an hour in there. "Hon, do you need the bathroom?" Let her go in there, do her thing on her time, and then when she's done, have your "me" time. Heck, I'm on my way to the bathroom, but someone is coming into the house, I'll stop and ask them if they need to use it first, even if I'm going to be two minutes. Think of someone other than your damn self for once!
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Load More Replies... Purchase a second toilet. Don't need to connect it, just place it in the bedroom, or a closet or wherever. He can sit himself down there and do all his emailing ...
My husband and I both were competing for the bathroom recently, but not because we were being jerks to each other. We were both sick. I have never wanted another bathroom so bad in my life.
Oh dear gods! I can only imagine the misery!
Load More Replies... I live with 3 daughters and my wife. We also only have 1 bathroom. I take longer than I'd like to in the bathroom myself due to bowel issues. Knowing it was me causing line ups in the mornings I get up 1.5 hours early. This is to be sure I'm am done and out before the next person is up. It's all part of being considerate of my family. This guy is just being a jerk.
I appreciate your consideration of being on the other side. I hope you are grateful that you have enough faculties to structure your wake up time. Some of us no longer do.
Load More Replies... Time to replace his office chair with an old toilet, to "recreate" his beloved leisure space.
Why would anyone sit on a toilet for one moment longer than needed? Get up and get out
is there any reason why she can't go first since they seem to need to go at the same time? she goes first then he can take as long as he wants. also I would bet anything that he's actually watching porn in there.
Take his office space and install a second bathroom. Or race him to the bathroom next morning and lock yourself in for the rest of the day.
I will never understand people who use their phones on the toilet very unhygienic.
I find it weird how everyone is saying "poo in a bucket/pee in the sink/leave your waste somewhere and explain it later/etc " I think all she has to do is infiltrate the room. Go in the bathroom, chat with him so he doesn't get his "quiet space", and maybe even take off your clothes and jump in the shower/bathtub to do your business. He's got the toilet, might as well make it as uncomfortable as possible so he knows he's taking too long!
I wonder if maybe he does have gastrointestinal issues, but is too afraid to admit it?
You're the only one here who gave any thought to the other side.
Load More Replies... Sometimes people don't understand until it's done to them. Perhaps she should get up first and take an hour wor a couple weeks or until he has to use a public washroom.
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime.... That's why I poop on company time!
Load More Replies... It borderline abuse limiting her access to a resource within their place. Personal response would be barge in on him every time, the majority on indoor doors have a safety release on the other side if the lock. Give him ten minutes then barge in a watch him... it'll embaris him. Your married so you should be able to handle a little big of gross .
WTF is WRONG with him? Do your business and get the f*ck out. He has his own home office???? Your husband is a jerk - maybe THAT's what he's doing? Start pounding on the door - or as someone else suggested, take a c**p in the kitchen sink to make it clear to this self centered a$$hole that other people need to use the bathroom.
Time to kick that self-proclaimed "king" off the throne. First remove the key so he can't lock the door. Give him 10 minutes to do his business and then go in there and pester him. Start with flushing the loo while he's still on it.
Also have one bathroom. Also have husband that takes upwards of 20-30-45 min doing phone stuff in there. I just tell him I have to use the bathroom an he usually gets off the pot. Sometimes he goes back in but me verbally telling him I have to go is better than texting him. Yep everybody poops or pees. We don't have a lock on any interior doors or the bathroom so if I'm in a 911 gotta pee you're not getting out I've even stripped waist down an stepped into the shower to puddle an he knows he's blocked me for too long. But I've adjusted me time to get up a little later when he's done so I can get up an do my morning business. You just have to get him to know his personal potty time needs a morning limit since he works from home. Fair is fair. No potty hogs
Honestly? I'd squat and s**t right by the door so he'd step in it when he walked out of the bathroom. I really REALLY hope that he is now her EX. Because I couldn't live with a man who treated me with such disrespect. That's just over the top in my books.
Every single bit of feedback here, including comments, is completely one sided.
P.S. I absolutely support that the guy in question here should be considerate enough to check with others, but none of you create an environment where that would even be respected !
Load More Replies... He has an office and works from home when she works elsewhere, he has plenty of alone time. They have 2 bedrooms and an office, he has plenty of space. If it is taking him 40+ minutes to get finished then he should probably see a urologist. He's just an inconsiderate b u t t h o l e.
Load More Replies... 
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