“AITA For Not Wanting My Dad To ‘Walk’ Me Down The Aisle Because He’s In A Wheelchair?”
Dad walking his daughter down the aisle is a special moment between the two as the dad is letting go of his precious princess and giving her into the hands of a man that she herself chose. While it stems from a tradition when women were considered men’s property, now it symbolizes support and the realization that she is all grown up now.
Not every bride has a dad and even if they do, they might not have a good relationship, so she might walk alone or with someone else close to her. This one bride who calls herself brinmendo on Reddit both has a dad and has a good relationship with him, but doesn’t want him walking down the aisle because he’s in a wheelchair.
More info: Reddit
Bride-to-be started questioning whether she is being mean to her dad who uses a wheelchair by wanting her uncle to walk her down the aisle
Image credits: Aurelien Breeden (not the actual photo)
Three years before the Original Poster (OP) wrote her story, her dad got in a very bad hit-and-run accident in which he got seriously injured with a lot of broken bones. After it, he was left with paralyzed legs and had to use the wheelchair to move around.
The daughter always got along with her dad so it was really painful and uncomfortable seeing him struggle, so she started avoiding meeting him.
A few years ago, the bride’s dad got into a nasty car accident which left him paralyzed from the waist down
Image credits: brinmendo
Not only did the man struggle to adapt to the new reality they were living in, but the daughter was also uncomfortable seeing her dad in such a state
Image credits: brinmendo
In a few months, she was supposed to get married and dad attending the wedding was kind of a big deal because of the practice of walking down the aisle. She revealed that the two of them used to talk about how he would do it and that they would have the daughter and father dance at her wedding as well.
The topic was brought up once again in the family group chat as the wedding was getting nearer. This was when the OP realized her dad would have to do it sitting in his wheelchair and felt sad thinking about how the wedding could have been if the car accident hadn’t happened.
Reality hit once again when the woman realized that if her dad were to walk her down the aisle, he would need to do that in the wheelchair, which she didn’t want
Image credits: brinmendo
So the future bride texted her mom personally to say what she thought, adding that it would be also difficult to accommodate her dad from a technical perspective which caused a dramatic reaction.
Understandably, the mom was furious because the dad has already suffered enough and now he is being shunned by his own daughter. The OP was kicked out of the family chat but got contacted by her aunt who just wanted to say that the dad is devastated.
The OP told her mom that she would like her uncle to do so instead, because of the technical adjustments they would have to make for her dad’s wheelchair
Image credits: brinmendo
Besides not being able to do things you managed without a sweat before, paralysis comes with some other consequences that are no less important. The National Centers for Biotechnology Information data shows that about half of people with paralysis due to spinal cord injuries suffer from various mental health issues like depression and anxiety.
Not being invited to one’s own daughter’s wedding because of a physical condition that was inflicted by an accident out of the dad’s control must have felt like a stab in the back.
The dad heard about his daughter’s thoughts and was devastated, as the OP’s aunt described it
Image credits: brinmendo
It seems that not only the mom had some strong feelings, but people who read the story as well wanted to give the OP a piece of their minds. The messages made the OP decide to call her dad, but in the end, there was no wedding because she broke up with her boyfriend.
Although the daughter wrote that she apologized to her dad, people had the impression that she was an awful person for her treatment of her dad who didn’t do anything wrong.
In the end, the wedding didn’t take place as the OP parted ways with her boyfriend and she apologized to her dad
Image credits: brinmendo
Image credits: Andrew Davies
We would like to know if you think that there is an excuse for the bride’s actions. Would you say that the bride not feeling comfortable around her paralyzed dad is enough of a reason not to invite him? Would you agree with the redditors who said that she is the jerk in this situation and that she should be glad he is still alive? Let us know your point of view in the comments!
However, redditors thought that the daughter was being incredibly mean to her dad who was just a victim of a crime and did nothing wrong to be treated that way
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I actually see someone who is really struggling to come to terms with seeing a loved one permanently disabled and in pain. Yes, she is the a-hole and has behaved appallingly but I'm not going to write her off as a pos. She needs therapy and she needs to build bridges with her dad and accept what's happened.
The world needs to look through your glasses more often. Thank you for promoting empathy.
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Well her fiance and her parted ways and the wedding is off. Dodged a bullet mate, imagine if he had gotten sick or disabled in any way in the course of their marriage. What an awful woman. Any daughter would surely be grateful he survived his accident and was able to take her down the aisle. The wheelchair should be a blessing in that regard because it means he can do so.
A certain gentleman was a 10/10. He got married to a girl, and a few years later was injured in an accident leaving him unable to walk. His wife eventually ran away with a male nurse that was caring for him. A year and a half later he was back on his feet and his "wife" came running back. He said H*ll no!
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Wow. Her being the AH started when she avoided her dad after the accident because it made her uncomfortable. And just got worse. My dad died when I was 18. I would have given anything to have him at my wedding later, no matter how he got around.
I agree. And I get that being around a sick or seriously injured loved one is also hard on us. My dad almost died and going to see him in the hospital made me so sad and it was hard to see him so weak. I was scared that he wasn't going to come out. I get that it's uncomfortable because you lack the words to comfort someone else. I was uncomfortable ecause I didn't want to make it about me and I wanted to be strong for my parents but it was hard. This woman is uncomfortable because of the wrong reasons I feel. She maybe struggling with the changes but she is punishing her father for something when she should be celebrating his life. She cares more about the image than about him being there with her.
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I actually see someone who is really struggling to come to terms with seeing a loved one permanently disabled and in pain. Yes, she is the a-hole and has behaved appallingly but I'm not going to write her off as a pos. She needs therapy and she needs to build bridges with her dad and accept what's happened.
The world needs to look through your glasses more often. Thank you for promoting empathy.
Load More Replies... Well her fiance and her parted ways and the wedding is off. Dodged a bullet mate, imagine if he had gotten sick or disabled in any way in the course of their marriage. What an awful woman. Any daughter would surely be grateful he survived his accident and was able to take her down the aisle. The wheelchair should be a blessing in that regard because it means he can do so.
A certain gentleman was a 10/10. He got married to a girl, and a few years later was injured in an accident leaving him unable to walk. His wife eventually ran away with a male nurse that was caring for him. A year and a half later he was back on his feet and his "wife" came running back. He said H*ll no!
Load More Replies... Wow. Her being the AH started when she avoided her dad after the accident because it made her uncomfortable. And just got worse. My dad died when I was 18. I would have given anything to have him at my wedding later, no matter how he got around.
I agree. And I get that being around a sick or seriously injured loved one is also hard on us. My dad almost died and going to see him in the hospital made me so sad and it was hard to see him so weak. I was scared that he wasn't going to come out. I get that it's uncomfortable because you lack the words to comfort someone else. I was uncomfortable ecause I didn't want to make it about me and I wanted to be strong for my parents but it was hard. This woman is uncomfortable because of the wrong reasons I feel. She maybe struggling with the changes but she is punishing her father for something when she should be celebrating his life. She cares more about the image than about him being there with her.
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