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29 Of The Weirdest Things Parents Have Told Their Kids, According To The Parents Themselves
Parenting is an unexpected journey. Sometimes you just can't know the situation or conversation you're gonna get into with your little kid. And they can be really amusing, too. In an attempt to document all of the weird stuff she herself says to her son, one mother started a blog called [why?] Parenting Quotes.
It all started with one phrase. "One day, while driving, I was tuning in and out of his chatter in the backseat, when I heard, ‘It’s simple, Mama. All you need is a dead body, a pocketknife, and an ostrich.’ It’s the creepiest thing I’ve ever heard," the mom behind the project wrote. "I eventually found out he was trying to explain how to do a human-ostrich brain transplant, and heard myself explaining why it wouldn’t work. Definitely the most [why?] thing I’ve ever heard myself say." Since then, she's trying to be as aware of their exchanges as possible.
As time went by, other parents fell in love with [why?] Parenting Quotes and wanted to be a part of it as well. They started submitting snippets of their own conversations with their children and the project into something bigger.
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#2
I asked my 10 year old son what he wanted on pizza one night. He replied, “well, Mom, I’m not a virgin.“ I stopped cold and said, “what?” He said, “ I want meat, I’m not a virgin.” “Oh, you’re not a vegetarian.“ as I exhaled.
#4
"Grandpa is not a race car. Grandpa’s wheelchair is not a toy. You may not “drive Grandpa.”"
#11
"How can you not know why your tongue is blue? Your tongue was with you all day today, wasn’t it?"
#12
"I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were in ‘stealth mode.’" Ruined my ninja’s self esteem today.
#13
Submission: “I am sorry the baby keeps biting you but perhaps if you stop putting your fingers in her mouth she will stop biting you.” ….Charlie? Is that you??
#17
"I am about 99.9% sure you are not getting a chainsaw for Christmas." Don’t lose all hope. That leaves a .1 chance you are.
#22
"No no no, the police do not need your help ‘investigating.’ Get back here!!" All kinds of trouble at the park tonight.
#23
NO! Don’t pull that pin!! Yelled at my almost 2yr old as he approached a gas station fire extinguisher with a devious look in his eye.
#24
Whose underwear is on your head? (It wasn’t his, and it wasn’t clean and his brother was hiding and giggling) It wasn’t clean. IT WASN’T CLEAN. brb, vomiting.
#25
"I’m sure Grandpa could go to England and not [end] anyone." Grandpa is an Irishman, in case you couldn’t tell.
#27
Anonymous asked: No, Gatorade in your eyes will not make you see things faster That lightning bolt sure confuses things!
#28
"They’re called ‘discharge papers’ not 'dementor papers.’" He was reading Harry Potter while waiting for his x Rays and got confused.
#29
“Stop eating your soup with your fingers!” (To my 10 year old)
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