Person Gets A $240 Invoice From A Couple For Doing A “No-Show” At Their Wedding, It Sparks A Debate Online
In 2018, the average wedding typically set couples and their family members back about $44,000, according to the Brides American Wedding Study, which surveyed more than 800 brides and spouses-to-be.
The study also discovered that most weddings had less than 200 guests, with an average of 167.
And even though most of the people who confirm their attendance usually show up, some don’t.
According to HuffPost writer Philip Lewis, one couple recently came up with an unorthodox plan to address all the no-shows for their wedding reception.
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In order to get a better understanding of why a couple might send their no-shows an invoice, we contacted Michelle Lew, the owner of Lavender Crown Events, a wedding planning company servicing San Jose, Silicon Valley, and the surrounding areas.
Firstly, let’s talk about guest lists. Lew told Bored Panda that they are usually determined by three categories: (1) family, (2) friends, (3) coworkers. “Even more, each category is often divided into rankings of A, B, and C lists,” Lew added. “A list guests are must-haves — parents, close aunts, uncles, cousins, and best friends — the people that are the most influential in the couple’s lives. B lists are often those that may be offended if not given an invitation, such as extended family or that one close friend from college you only text a few times a year. C list guests are more for coworkers you don’t know very well or perhaps a parent’s friend that you haven’t seen since you were a child. Ranking these lists also helps with reducing guest counts for those looking for a more intimate wedding or a venue with limited capacity.”
Usually, Michelle Lew said, no-show guests are part of the C-list group who RSVP’ed but weren’t close enough to the couple to actually mark their calendars. She said it’s rare but it does happen. “Oftentimes, no-show guests with no advance notice are usually only one or two persons per hundred guests. In most cases, as the date arrives, caterers and venues will need the final guest count a week in advance. There are always emergencies that can cause a no-show after the one-week date, like an illness or medical emergency. However, it’s common for the non-attending guest to at least let the couple know!” Lew explained.
Not all types of weddings have the same amount of no-shows. For example, if someone is throwing theirs abroad, people may feel more inclined to plan their trip diligently. As Lisa Burton, aka The Bridal Consultant, plans destination weddings, she’s happy that when guests accept an invite, they mostly turn up. And if they don’t, it’s usually due to a ‘fall out.’
“‘Surprise’ guests are often more of a problem for our couples, those guests who show up abroad a few days before the wedding for dramatic effect, and although the reasoning is often quite lovely, it can be a huge hassle for the couple, considering last-minute food/drink orders, table plans, and transport,” Burton told Bored Panda.
“I’ve had a few couples that have found this incredibly stressful to arrange when they should be relaxing and preparing for their big day.”
The internet is having mixed opinions about this. Some are laughing at the document
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Interestingly, the before-mentioned study found that in 2018, just 27 percent of couples said they’d fully paid for their wedding, while 42 percent handed off that responsibility to their parents. Overall, just 58 percent of those surveyed contributed to their own nuptials.
So even though weddings (before the pandemic) were getting more expensive on average, the couples seemed to no longer be able or willing to pay for themselves. All the more reason for the guests to notify them if they’re not coming; I’m not saying the no-shows deserve an invoice. Just that a little empathy from both sides would go a long way.
“While no-show guests can be annoying — especially after so much money has been paid per seat — an empty seat is usually the least of the couple’s concerns,” Michelle Lew said. “While some money is lost, there are worse situations that could happen! Most couples understand that last-minute priorities can change, especially for guests that aren’t close to the bride or groom. They will still have their immediate family and best friends with them.”
The wedding planner reminded that should a person or two no-show, the same amount of food and drinks will still be available so that someone else can get an extra serving. “If the couple is upset about the no-show, it’s always best to remind them of all the rest of the guests who are present and all the parts of the wedding going right!” Lew said.
While others are defending the couple, saying the guest are in the wrong
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Why can't two people be in the wrong? If you can't make it to a wedding dinner, you RSVP, if you don't - you suck. They were willing to spend a lot fo money for you to be there and you don't show up, with no warning? Screw you. At the same time, sending a bill to no-show is also petty and childish. If you have a problem, talk to them about it. Get the apology you deserve. If you pull this petty bullshit, you deserve nothing. I don't get why it always has to be one person's totally in the wrong and one person's totally in the right. Screw 'em both.
You are totally in the right on this. Unless I change my mind, then you're totally in the wrong. But so far, so good.
they dont owe s**t, the seat arent 240 in any sense
How do you know the couple’s child wasn’t in the hospital, or some other emergency happened? They may have gotten in an accident on the way to the wedding. Who knows? There is no information in this post other than the invoice.
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Or you can act like a human and shut up about it. No one owes you money. No one "owes" you an apology, and no one "owes" you a reason. If they can't go, they can't. If you don't like that, go f**k yourself.
Do you not know how wedding reception's work? When you RSVP you are telling them you'll be there, this person RSVP'd saying they'd be there. If they can't come, they should say so, or don't RSVP at all. If people make an effort to accomodate you and you shrug that off without telling them, yes, you suck.
And emergencies happen where advanced notice just isn't possible. And if you're the kind of person who immediately thinks "these are sucky people who need to be invoiced for inconveniencing me" instead of, for example, having a grown up conversation to check that they were being sucky people instead of in hospital on an IV, maybe you shouldnt be surprised at the level of ridicule aimed your way. Hell, you maybe right and they were truly awful people who just decided to blow you off on your big day - cut them out of your life, they're not true friends; but to just assume that's the case, rather than checking that maybe other things that aren't connected to your wedding because it's not the single biggest thing happening in everyone's lives that day, says rather more about you than them.
Weddings so often degenerate into a vulgar, even narcissistic, display of conspicuous consumption, and for most people they are pretty boring. Close friends and family affairs are best, and save the cash for something interesting.
I agree with you.... Narcissistic and boring, there's no chance I would ever have a wedding ceremony/reception unless my SO wanted to organize it LOL
That is true AND it is also true that if someone does decide to have an expensive wedding, it is a jerk move to be a "no show".
How on Earth? You know what's a jerk move in a world that's literally burning through its resources? Having lavish and overly expensive weddings to show off. They essentially force guests to pay for a party like that on the count that not showing might damage personal relationships. How is thát ok? I remember the person being "invited" to join a nephews wedding in Jamaica or somewhere else that would have cost them a lot of money they don't have. Now imagine you don't have the money to give a gift appropriate of such a lavish wedding, but not coming will hurt your relationship. Who's in the wrong to start out with? Utter, utter BS. If you want a big party, you pay for it yourself.
Two things can be true at the same time Rissie. All I'm saying is that when you RSVP to an expensive event that "yes I will come", and don't show up without warning, you are being a jerk (assuming there wasn't an emergency). Whether or not the event was unnecessarily lavish doesn't change the fact that it is a jerk move. Two people can be jerks at the same time.
Even if there was an emergency, you can still call
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
I basically make about $6,000-$8,000 a month online. It’s enough to comfortably replace my old jobs income, especially considering I only work about 10-13 hours a week from home. I was amazed how easy it was after I tried it….. ===))> 𝐖𝐰𝐰.𝐅𝐮𝐥𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤.𝐂𝐨𝐦
As much as they have a point, this is incredibly petty and shows the married couple have little class.
Weddings are about personal relationships. People throwing weddings like these essentially abuse those relationships to force people to come with large gifts. RSVP'ing not to come is not done, spending money you don't have is not done. If you want to have a big wedding, pay for it yourself and accept guests are there to celebrate the new marriage. They are not there to reimburse you for it. And if you live by that rule, then it all of a sudden doesn't matter if people don't show. I for one would care more about why my guests aren't there and worry. But then I don't feel like throwing money away like that is ok in any way and feel that people showing off like that are asswhipes to begin with.
Why can't two people be in the wrong? If you can't make it to a wedding dinner, you RSVP, if you don't - you suck. They were willing to spend a lot fo money for you to be there and you don't show up, with no warning? Screw you. At the same time, sending a bill to no-show is also petty and childish. If you have a problem, talk to them about it. Get the apology you deserve. If you pull this petty bullshit, you deserve nothing. I don't get why it always has to be one person's totally in the wrong and one person's totally in the right. Screw 'em both.
You are totally in the right on this. Unless I change my mind, then you're totally in the wrong. But so far, so good.
they dont owe s**t, the seat arent 240 in any sense
How do you know the couple’s child wasn’t in the hospital, or some other emergency happened? They may have gotten in an accident on the way to the wedding. Who knows? There is no information in this post other than the invoice.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Or you can act like a human and shut up about it. No one owes you money. No one "owes" you an apology, and no one "owes" you a reason. If they can't go, they can't. If you don't like that, go f**k yourself.
Do you not know how wedding reception's work? When you RSVP you are telling them you'll be there, this person RSVP'd saying they'd be there. If they can't come, they should say so, or don't RSVP at all. If people make an effort to accomodate you and you shrug that off without telling them, yes, you suck.
And emergencies happen where advanced notice just isn't possible. And if you're the kind of person who immediately thinks "these are sucky people who need to be invoiced for inconveniencing me" instead of, for example, having a grown up conversation to check that they were being sucky people instead of in hospital on an IV, maybe you shouldnt be surprised at the level of ridicule aimed your way. Hell, you maybe right and they were truly awful people who just decided to blow you off on your big day - cut them out of your life, they're not true friends; but to just assume that's the case, rather than checking that maybe other things that aren't connected to your wedding because it's not the single biggest thing happening in everyone's lives that day, says rather more about you than them.
Weddings so often degenerate into a vulgar, even narcissistic, display of conspicuous consumption, and for most people they are pretty boring. Close friends and family affairs are best, and save the cash for something interesting.
I agree with you.... Narcissistic and boring, there's no chance I would ever have a wedding ceremony/reception unless my SO wanted to organize it LOL
That is true AND it is also true that if someone does decide to have an expensive wedding, it is a jerk move to be a "no show".
How on Earth? You know what's a jerk move in a world that's literally burning through its resources? Having lavish and overly expensive weddings to show off. They essentially force guests to pay for a party like that on the count that not showing might damage personal relationships. How is thát ok? I remember the person being "invited" to join a nephews wedding in Jamaica or somewhere else that would have cost them a lot of money they don't have. Now imagine you don't have the money to give a gift appropriate of such a lavish wedding, but not coming will hurt your relationship. Who's in the wrong to start out with? Utter, utter BS. If you want a big party, you pay for it yourself.
Two things can be true at the same time Rissie. All I'm saying is that when you RSVP to an expensive event that "yes I will come", and don't show up without warning, you are being a jerk (assuming there wasn't an emergency). Whether or not the event was unnecessarily lavish doesn't change the fact that it is a jerk move. Two people can be jerks at the same time.
Even if there was an emergency, you can still call
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
I basically make about $6,000-$8,000 a month online. It’s enough to comfortably replace my old jobs income, especially considering I only work about 10-13 hours a week from home. I was amazed how easy it was after I tried it….. ===))> 𝐖𝐰𝐰.𝐅𝐮𝐥𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤.𝐂𝐨𝐦
As much as they have a point, this is incredibly petty and shows the married couple have little class.
Weddings are about personal relationships. People throwing weddings like these essentially abuse those relationships to force people to come with large gifts. RSVP'ing not to come is not done, spending money you don't have is not done. If you want to have a big wedding, pay for it yourself and accept guests are there to celebrate the new marriage. They are not there to reimburse you for it. And if you live by that rule, then it all of a sudden doesn't matter if people don't show. I for one would care more about why my guests aren't there and worry. But then I don't feel like throwing money away like that is ok in any way and feel that people showing off like that are asswhipes to begin with.