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Family And Friends Show No Empathy To Man Who Gets Slapped By Fiancée And Wants To Call Off Wedding
Family And Friends Show No Empathy To Man Who Gets Slapped By Fiancée And Wants To Call Off Wedding
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Family And Friends Show No Empathy To Man Who Gets Slapped By Fiancée And Wants To Call Off Wedding

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Martin Luther once said, “Nothing good ever comes of violence,” and how accurate was he! For no violent battle has ever ended without maiming one side so terribly that it takes an eternity to recover from. Surprisingly, there are a few people who fail to understand the gravity of violence, no matter how small.

Just like the original poster’s (OP) fiancée who slapped him during a heated argument. However, when he threatened to call off the wedding, he faced backlash from his friends and family. They even accused him of ‘massively overreacting’. Lost in confusion, he sought advice online.

More info: Reddit

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    This story is about a 28-year-old male who was supposed to get married to his 24-year-old fiancée in 6 months

    Image credits: Jeremy Wong Weddings (not the actual photo)

    But something happened between them that made the poster reconsider his marriage to this particular woman

    Image credits: u/Educational_Tie_3335

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    Image credits: Andrew Le (not the actual photo)

    One day, during a heated argument, she got angry and slapped him, which stunned him so much that he asked her to leave immediately

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    Image credits: u/Educational_Tie_3335

    Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

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    This violent behavior from her made him reconsider things and he wanted to call off the wedding and end the relationship with her

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    Image credits: u/Educational_Tie_3335

    But he faced backlash from his friends and family who accused him of ‘massively overreacting’ and even called him ‘crazy’ for wanting to end things

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    Today, we dive into the grave story of Reddit userEducational_Tie_3335 who was stuck in a dilemma that completely rattled him. Let’s jump right into it. So, OP tells us that he was to be married to his fiancée in 6 months. However, things didn’t go as planned as the couple got into an argument about something very trivial.

    The poster tried to keep things calm, however, overcome with anger, his fiancée slapped him, leaving him completely stunned. He asked her to leave but after she refused, he raised his voice and stressed, “You need to leave right now.” She obliged and went to stay with her sister. And this violent behavior made OP reconsider his decision to marry this woman.

    And to be absolutely honest, nobody would want to be with a person who is capable of physically hurting them this way. However, his friends and family had a completely different opinion. This must’ve further hurt him because they all said that he was “massively overreacting” and even called him “crazy” for wanting to end things.

    When he tried to defend himself by stating what the outcome would’ve been if the roles were reversed, they replied, “You’re significantly taller than her and physically stronger, while there’s no chance she could ever physically overpower you.” Wow, that sounds so unreasonable and our heart just goes out to the poster.

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    But to make matters worse, he was even accused of weaponizing therapy language and appropriating the struggles of domestic cruelty victims. People even said that what happened to him was in no way comparable to what ‘genuine victims’ go through. Confused and disappointed altogether, he went online and asked for advice from the Reddit community.

    They were surprised by the response that his friends and family gave because they felt that nobody should live in fear of their partner, and it doesn’t matter who is physically stronger as violence is never the answer to anything. They also stressed how domestic cruelty against men is overlooked and how unjust it can truly be. And we absolutely agree with them!

    “When someone faces domestic violence from their partner, the impact can be profound. Emotionally, they can experience fear, anxiety, and depression. Their self-esteem erodes, and they may feel trapped or isolated. Long-term exposure to abuse can lead to complex trauma, affecting their overall well-being,” said Faizan Maniyar, a counselor that Bored Panda interviewed.

    As Redditors pointed out, if she did it once, she could do it again and this repetitive cruelty could develop a complex trauma in the poster.

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    Image credits: Jeremy Perkins (not the actual photo)

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    A study has shown that one in seven men (13.9%) will be victims of domestic cruelty in their lifetime. However, these male victims are not always taken seriously. The Center for Social Justice states, “Men are silenced by the hostility and incredulity they encounter when opening up about their experiences to the police and safeguarding services.”

    And although it’s sad, it’s a truth that can be quite bitter to digest. Faizan said, “When domestic violence against men isn’t taken seriously, male victims face unique challenges. They may feel emasculated, ashamed, or hesitant to seek help due to societal norms. Lack of support can exacerbate feelings of isolation and vulnerability. It’s crucial to recognize that men can also be victims and provide them with resources and empathy.”

    But the fact that he lacked basic empathy from the people he was closest to, that is his family and friends, speaks volumes about how messed up things can be with the world. Another thing that the netizens shed light on was the hurt he must have felt to go through something at the hands of someone that he loved and hoped to spend the rest of his life with. As per them, her drastic behavior was totally unjustifiable. 

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    According to Faizan, “Violent behavior during arguments often stems from underlying issues. Some individuals lack healthy coping mechanisms, resorting to aggression when stressed. Insecure attachment styles, unresolved trauma, or learned behavior from their upbringing can contribute, too. Substance misuse, power dynamics, and poor communication skills also play a role.”

    Well, it doesn’t matter why the fiancée did it, what matters is that she actually did it and nothing can be an excuse in this matter. The folks online supported his wish to call off the wedding and end that relationship. They also cheered him on for making this decision instead of suffering more because of it. They also advised him that his family’s and friends’ lack of support should not hamper him in his decision as it would be him, and not them, who had to live with her.

    Peeps also said that if they ever had kids, who knows, she could even get aggressive with them. They also expressed that her apology could not fix what she did and that ending things would be the best solution here.

    Do you agree with them? Have you, or anyone you know, experienced something similar? If yes, would you like to share your experience with us? All you have to do is scroll down and type away in the comments. We would love to hear from you!

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    People online backed him up for his decision and talked about how male victims of domestic violence are overlooked and not taken seriously

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    Rutuja Dumbre

    Rutuja Dumbre

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hey, am Rutuja! A storyteller at heart and a writer at Bored Panda. I have a strange love for words, and I mostly survive on coffee which is the driving force behind my writing. I enjoy working on articles that purely entertain our readers. When am not writing or trekking, you can find me staying up late and watching all the matches of Football Club Barcelona!

    Read less »
    Rutuja Dumbre

    Rutuja Dumbre

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Hey, am Rutuja! A storyteller at heart and a writer at Bored Panda. I have a strange love for words, and I mostly survive on coffee which is the driving force behind my writing. I enjoy working on articles that purely entertain our readers. When am not writing or trekking, you can find me staying up late and watching all the matches of Football Club Barcelona!

    What do you think ?
    notlikeyou1971
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Listen to me. I'm a female domestic abuse survivor. This is how it starts. MEN CAN BE VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE! ONCE IS ONE TIME TOO MANY! You would be a real fool to listen to anyone who condones this and wants you to stay in this. You're not overreacting or crazy. Don't even take a chance on staying with this abusive woman. Look at it this way. If you had slapped her not only would she had left you but also you'd be in handcuffs right now. Do you really want to have a life with someone like that? I would run not walk.I learned my lesson from my experience. THE FIRST TIME THEY HIT ME IS THE LAST TIME THEY SEE ME

    David
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    a UK Study found that 40% of Domestic violence victims are men (https://www.theguardian.com/society/2010/sep/05/men-victims-domestic-violence) other studies show it a bit lower at 35%. But people forget about male victims. Violence is violence

    Load More Replies...
    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is how domestic abuse starts. And if her family are saying it's ok, that's condoning it and means they will always excuse it. Get out now.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    Colin Briggs
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it's domestic abuse, regardless of who did it. had it have been you, the police would be called, you'd be charged & your relationship would be over. why is it different because it is a woman who did the abuse? shes hit you once, she'll do it again. get out now.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My 5'2" mother was physically abusive towards my 5'11" father for my entire life. I used to walk in on him trying to staunch the bleeding on his arms and chest where she'd cut him with kitchen knives during her rampages. She would hit him and punch him. She would also verbally and emotionally abuse him as well, and threaten to "kill the kids" just to torture him more. He never fought back. He never so much as hit her back or shoved her. Men can be domestic abuse victims. Women can be abusers. OP's fiancé will NOT stop with this "one" slap, because now she knows she can get her way and OP won't do anything to stop her. She will then likely eventually become abusive and violent towards their children, were they to have any - ask me how I know THAT. Hint: my father wasn't the only person in the family that my mom would beat and cut with knives.

    MinervaLavender2371
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your story sounds very much like my own. I'm sorry you had to grow up that way.

    Load More Replies...
    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    GIANT red flag! OP, run as fast as you can away from her and cancel that wedding! What happens if you have kids + the kids p**s her off? Do you want that for your children? Abusers don't stop - they escalate. Anyone who tells you this is no big deal can f**k right the the hell off + you should go NC with all of them.

    Saphyre Fyre
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, my GOD! Abuse is abuse!! It starts with a slap and gets worse. If she can't control her anger, she needs help. If she won't get it, leave her. DO NOT MARRY HER UNTIL SHE HAS GOTTEN HELP AND PROVES SHE WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN.

    Noneofyourbusiness
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    That's a lot of assumptions for a one-sided story that we don't have any context for. Notice he said it was a trivial thing and didn't provide any information on what the argument was. Painting him to be perfect, if there's no one that supports him, I'm thinking there might be more to the story than he's telling us.

    Load More Replies...
    C.O. Shea
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The engagement period is for just this reason... to find out who someone really is. Believe them! Trust your gut! It's the only one not lying to you.

    Ryan-James O'Driscoll
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One of the ways in which female abusers manipulate male victims is using the fact that if they retaliate or defend themselves they are likely to be perceived as the aggressor. Another is the knowledge that many others will not believe that a man who is physically bigger and stronger can be abused by a woman.

    Stacy Jones
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a woman, and I was raised a hitter. My parents and stepparents all spanked, a lot, I had a passel of siblings and stepsiblings, and we were frequently advised to solve our disputes through violence. I genuinely didn't think there was anything wrong with slapping someone on the arm when they said something stupid, or throwing a light punch to the shoulder to drive home a point. When I met my now husband, he set me straight quick, fast, and in a hurry. He invited me to think about the optics if the gender roles were reversed, and it really got through to me. IT'S NEVER OK TO HIT. NTA eta: I didn't hit my husband when we were dating, I threatened to hit him once, and that's when he set me straight.

    Rebel Peewee
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You just don't hit another person of its not self-defense. Period. So obnoxious to think so many people in his life don't agree.

    Noneofyourbusiness
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But if no one in his life agrees with him, I tend to think that he's not giving us the whole story. Context absolutely matters! A normally non-violent person won't go to the extreme of smacking or hitting someone as their first line of defense. He only says it was trivial, but I've seen a lot of these posts where it comes out that it is a lot more about the poster trying to make him themselves innocent, been telling the whole story. I'm not saying it's not possible that she is abusive, I'm just saying he didn't mention it, and he would have.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    notlikeyou1971
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Listen to me. I'm a female domestic abuse survivor. This is how it starts. MEN CAN BE VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE! ONCE IS ONE TIME TOO MANY! You would be a real fool to listen to anyone who condones this and wants you to stay in this. You're not overreacting or crazy. Don't even take a chance on staying with this abusive woman. Look at it this way. If you had slapped her not only would she had left you but also you'd be in handcuffs right now. Do you really want to have a life with someone like that? I would run not walk.I learned my lesson from my experience. THE FIRST TIME THEY HIT ME IS THE LAST TIME THEY SEE ME

    David
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    a UK Study found that 40% of Domestic violence victims are men (https://www.theguardian.com/society/2010/sep/05/men-victims-domestic-violence) other studies show it a bit lower at 35%. But people forget about male victims. Violence is violence

    Load More Replies...
    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is how domestic abuse starts. And if her family are saying it's ok, that's condoning it and means they will always excuse it. Get out now.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    Colin Briggs
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it's domestic abuse, regardless of who did it. had it have been you, the police would be called, you'd be charged & your relationship would be over. why is it different because it is a woman who did the abuse? shes hit you once, she'll do it again. get out now.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My 5'2" mother was physically abusive towards my 5'11" father for my entire life. I used to walk in on him trying to staunch the bleeding on his arms and chest where she'd cut him with kitchen knives during her rampages. She would hit him and punch him. She would also verbally and emotionally abuse him as well, and threaten to "kill the kids" just to torture him more. He never fought back. He never so much as hit her back or shoved her. Men can be domestic abuse victims. Women can be abusers. OP's fiancé will NOT stop with this "one" slap, because now she knows she can get her way and OP won't do anything to stop her. She will then likely eventually become abusive and violent towards their children, were they to have any - ask me how I know THAT. Hint: my father wasn't the only person in the family that my mom would beat and cut with knives.

    MinervaLavender2371
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your story sounds very much like my own. I'm sorry you had to grow up that way.

    Load More Replies...
    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    GIANT red flag! OP, run as fast as you can away from her and cancel that wedding! What happens if you have kids + the kids p**s her off? Do you want that for your children? Abusers don't stop - they escalate. Anyone who tells you this is no big deal can f**k right the the hell off + you should go NC with all of them.

    Saphyre Fyre
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, my GOD! Abuse is abuse!! It starts with a slap and gets worse. If she can't control her anger, she needs help. If she won't get it, leave her. DO NOT MARRY HER UNTIL SHE HAS GOTTEN HELP AND PROVES SHE WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN.

    Noneofyourbusiness
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    That's a lot of assumptions for a one-sided story that we don't have any context for. Notice he said it was a trivial thing and didn't provide any information on what the argument was. Painting him to be perfect, if there's no one that supports him, I'm thinking there might be more to the story than he's telling us.

    Load More Replies...
    C.O. Shea
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The engagement period is for just this reason... to find out who someone really is. Believe them! Trust your gut! It's the only one not lying to you.

    Ryan-James O'Driscoll
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One of the ways in which female abusers manipulate male victims is using the fact that if they retaliate or defend themselves they are likely to be perceived as the aggressor. Another is the knowledge that many others will not believe that a man who is physically bigger and stronger can be abused by a woman.

    Stacy Jones
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a woman, and I was raised a hitter. My parents and stepparents all spanked, a lot, I had a passel of siblings and stepsiblings, and we were frequently advised to solve our disputes through violence. I genuinely didn't think there was anything wrong with slapping someone on the arm when they said something stupid, or throwing a light punch to the shoulder to drive home a point. When I met my now husband, he set me straight quick, fast, and in a hurry. He invited me to think about the optics if the gender roles were reversed, and it really got through to me. IT'S NEVER OK TO HIT. NTA eta: I didn't hit my husband when we were dating, I threatened to hit him once, and that's when he set me straight.

    Rebel Peewee
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You just don't hit another person of its not self-defense. Period. So obnoxious to think so many people in his life don't agree.

    Noneofyourbusiness
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But if no one in his life agrees with him, I tend to think that he's not giving us the whole story. Context absolutely matters! A normally non-violent person won't go to the extreme of smacking or hitting someone as their first line of defense. He only says it was trivial, but I've seen a lot of these posts where it comes out that it is a lot more about the poster trying to make him themselves innocent, been telling the whole story. I'm not saying it's not possible that she is abusive, I'm just saying he didn't mention it, and he would have.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
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