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“Couldn’t Subtract 20 From 300”: 66 Unserious Dating Red Flags Shared In This Viral Thread
Dating is like an extended job interview, except both parties are, or at least should be evaluating how good of a match their counterpoint is. The more one does this, the quicker they can identify patterns, for better or worse.
A woman asked “Girls, I need your most unserious dating red flag. Not cheating. Not lying. I’m talking: “He clapped when the plane landed and unfortunately I never looked at him the same,”” and people shared their worst stories. So get comfortable as you read through other folk’s uncomfortable stories, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your own ideas in the comments below.
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#1
He tried to cover his ears and his eyes when a Tampax commercial came on the TV, and loudly shouted, “lalalalalalalala” to block the audio. That, right there, was the moment I got the ick.
crashthegreenhat 8 hours ago
My wife dated 10 guys before we started dating in out late 20's. One day she asks me to pick her up hygiene products while I am out. I ask her to get me the old box so I can make sure I get her preferred brand and thickness. Apparently I was the 1st out of 11 to not get grossed out over being asked by her to buy supplies for her, let alone actually buying them for her.
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#2
The guy I went on a date with left his trash behind after seeing a movie at the theaters. I commented on it and he told me, “people get paid to pick it up.” Well, that was that. Inconsiderate, entitled jerk.
#3
He took me out to dinner on our first date, and when I ordered mozzarella sticks, he asked if I’d prefer a salad because he “likes his women to stay thin.” When I didn’t back off the stix, he joked that he’d just have to strap me to his bumper and I could run it off afterward. A couple decades later, I saw him on social media. When I tell you that man has bigger boobs than me.
#4
He told my family: three things we don’t talk about are my hair, my height or my car.
So my sister said: what about your face?
#5
He couldn’t subtract 20 from 300 without his phone and then accused me of lying when I said I was doing the math in my head. I can’t deal with that level of stupidity.
Rick Murray 8 hours ago
Good grief. I have dyscalculia and I can figure out 280 without tech. 🤦
#6
After spending a bit of time bonding over our shared love of the game Boggle, he challenged me to a Boggle date.
He was so surprised after losing the first few games and insisted we keep playing. I kept trying to give him an out and move to another activity but still he persisted.
We played over 40 games and he lost EVERY SINGLE ONE. He was so mad when he left. He messaged me the next day to say he didn’t want to see me again which saved me the trouble. Another win for me!
#7
Went on a first date. He put $30 in ones on the table and told the waitress this was her tip. But every time she made a mistake, he was going to remove a dollar. At the end she had $13 left on a $250 bill. She wasn’t the perfect waitress but she didn’t deserve that. As we left, I handed her $32 (all my cash atp). He tried to snatch it and said he felt disrespected. I called an uber to pick me up. Never went out with him again.
Grape Walls of Ire 8 hours ago
$30 in ones means either he planned that stupid move ahead of time or he hangs out in strip clubs. Either way...
#8
I gave him a lift to an air show and he spent the whole journey picking his peeling sunburn off his arms. I ended up with a passenger seat full of skin flakes.
He later offered to light one of his farts on fire. So I said I was going to the toilet and drove home without him. He might still be at the air show...
#9
Met at the restaurant for a wonderful first date, all was going well, but then we said goodbye and he walked out of the restaurant to his cybertruck.
#10
Baby talk. He was HOT. He had a good job and we got along great and had fun together. But then he told me I looked "weally pwetty" and I dried up like the Sahara.
#11
He said his palms were sweaty and I said “mom’s spaghetti” and he gave me a blank look and said “what does that mean?”
#12
Dude started texting me and like narrating.
Along the lines of:
*approaches nervously*
How’s your day going beautiful?
*nervous smile*
It was so gross and creepy that I blocked him immediately. Didn’t even make it to a date.
Grape Walls of Ire 8 hours ago (edited)
I'm glad I'm not the only one who hates that *he says, giving a wink and a side eye to no one in particular as he contemplates the irony and thinks about how clever he is, hoping beyond all hope that someone will click that up arrow to justify all this infernal typing he's doing right now*
#13
He told me he’d never spend money on a concert, hated the idea of dressing up for Halloween, thought holidays/decorations were stupid, said nice restaurants are a waste of money, and his idea of a great vacation is chillin in the house or roaming his home town. Absolutely no whimsy!
#14
He said I had too much pink leopard print in my home. Never made it to our first date cause I straight away blocked him. We don't need that negativity in our lives.
#15
Describing in excruciating detail his favorite frozen dinners, and rating them. I pictured a life with him and saw myself getting up mid boring conversation and stepping into traffic and decided to nope out.
DennyS (denzoren) 2 hours ago
I wouldn't red flag...just not meant for each other. I'm sure someone out there would like the details.
#16
This goes way back to when I was a teenager, so be kind to me. I really liked this guy and he was 20 to my almost 18. He worked at his Dad's auto repair shop. Anyways, I was closing a restaurant by myself and I asked him to come keep me company. He did it a couple of times, but finally told me that I was "boring" (aka wouldn't sleep with him) and was too busy. My Dad told me that if the guy really liked me, he'd want to spend every minute with me. My Dad saved me a lot of heartache.
#17
I beat him at every video game we played (in the arcade era) and every time he’d say “You got lucky.”
Guess who did NOT get lucky…
That was a one-and-done date.
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 5 hours ago
I had a platonic female friend at uni who absolutely kicked my a*s at Soul Calibur on the Dreamcast. I have no idea how she was that good, as she never seemed to play except against me. I think women are just more violent :D
#18
Got in a fight and he accused me of “trying to make him the escape goat”.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 hours ago
Was he my mother? She also says "scapegoat" as "escape goat" and it has driven me, an English major, absolutely insane my whole life XD
#19
Mine should have been: when his friends told him the green stuff on his sushi plate was super good and to eat the whole thing. He did. And didn’t flinch. But no, I married him. We have children. “It’s spicy” does not work with these babes.
crashthegreenhat 8 hours ago
Had a friend try sushi for the first time and he popped the entire amount of green stuff into his mouth all at once. He entire head turned bright red (He was bald) and ran to the bathroom. He came back panting and asked me "What wasn't avocado, was it?".
#20
Took him to the beach & he looked at the water & asked “how far does it go?” I said; “To England! It’s the ocean.”
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 hours ago
To be fair, I can imagine that someone who grew up landlocked/far from the sea might not really "realize" the scope of it. Yes, he should have known basic geography... XD but maybe he was overwhelmed by the scope of the ocean in that moment.
#21
He said he wasn’t drinking any more milk because of the gluten.
#22
He asked what kind of men I'm into. I said, "an intelligent and funny man who stands up to his for women. Do you tick any of those boxes? " He said, "No. I'm not gay."
#23
Picked me up, leaned over and licked my face to “get rid of any awkwardness “. I had him turn around and drop me off.
#24
I went on a date and his car needed a jump start afterwards. I grabbed the cables and was about to use my vehicle to jump his when he stopped me and said he didn’t know how to do it but didn’t trust I did either so he wanted to read his owners manual first… he ended up giving 30 mins in, I jumped his car, and never spoke to him again. I pride myself in my independence (and I’m a car girl) so all of it just felt insulting.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 hours ago
My dad taught me how to jump a car battery when I was 8 years old XD And how to check the oil, radiator, filters, and fanbelt. He waited until I was a little older (12) to teach me how to do an oil change and how to change the brake pads XD I don't think all men "need" to know how to jump a battery or fix car stuff, but I do think they all need to accept when a woman DOES know how to.
#25
He thought the moon was random like the weather. Like one day could be full then the very next day just a sliver did not believe that I had a calendar with the moon phases for each day and that they were cyclical!! He thought you predicted the moon phases like the weather. Like 50% chance of a full moon tmrw? It’s still cracks me up. We were young like 18-19 but still!
Janissary35680 6 hours ago
This jogged a memory. In the mid 50s a gaggle of my cousins and I (ages 6-12) were playing outside at sunset on a summer evening some time after a full moon rose. Someone claimed “The moon follows you when you walk.” We all looked and walked and sure enough the moon seemed to follow us. Somehow that didn’t seem possible so I told my cousins to split up into two groups. One would walk in one direction, the other would walk in the opposite direction, and both would say what they saw. Both groups reported the moon was following them of course. This started a small argument about “Liars” but after several more trials with different groups, the general consensus was that the moon does not follow you when you walk. In retrospect, that may have been the earliest activation of my in-born bullshıt detector.
#26
Eating food off my plate without asking. Jail.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 hours ago
Even after 25 years together, I would still ask out of politeness if I wanted to grab some food off my boyfriend's plate. We would usually offer each other bites of our meals in the first place, but I'd still ask before I just grabbed something off his plate.
#27
Wanted to go camping with me next time I went… After only one date and also after I told him that I go camping to be completely alone and read books.
crashthegreenhat 8 hours ago
"I go camping to be completely alone and read books." Sounds like a good time
#28
He arrived late to our beach date, said he was really tired from his walk over, then proceeded to TAKE A NAP!!
Pittsburgh rare 7 hours ago
Then you get up very quietly, pack your things and leave him resting 😇
#29
Claiming he spoke fluent French, “like a Parisian”. He was British, I’m from the US. I was working on a PhD in French at the time and had lived in France for several years. He corrected my pronunciation of the artist’s name when we were at the Musee d’Orsay looking at Renoir paintings. (it’s ren-wha, love, you don’t pronounce the final “r”. And he then argued with a French woman who was with us who told him he was wrong. Instant ick.
#30
He kept interrupting me when I was reading. And not even to bring me snacks, "just wanting to check you're still here!"
#31
Him, looking at my 8 bookshelves: Have you read ALL of those books? Me: yes. Him: Why keep them then? I thought my head would explode.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 hours ago
My sister's friend proudly claims that she "only reads books once" and never re-reads books. I re-read books over and over again, over decades of my life XD It's like going back to see old friends. Sure, you know what they're going to do and what they're going to say, but it is such a wonderful feeling to visit them again.
#32
When I was 17 a guy I liked came over to my house. My toddler sister had a kiddie pool on the deck and I said, ‘Let’s lounge by the pool.’ He didn’t laugh at my hilarious joke. I knew he wasn’t for me.
Grape Walls of Ire 8 hours ago (edited)
Eh, maybe he was nervous and couldn't decide if that was a joke. I could see myself doing that.
#33
A guy texted he couldn’t hang out bc he was running “arins,” he meant “errands.” Still blows my mind bc it means he not only didn’t know how to spell it, he’d been pronouncing it that way his whole life.
Grape Walls of Ire 8 hours ago
You know, I had this issue too. My mom has some form of undiagnosed learning disability that makes her mispronounce some words, including "errand". I thought it was spelled "aron" until later in life when I saw the word in print and looked it up.
#34
Going 73 mph in a 75 zone, and hanging out in the passing lane. Then yelling at everyone that has to pass you on the right.
#35
I work in soccer and before this rugby. He said it’s impossible for a woman to know this much about sports.
KitchenToto 15 minutes ago
It's like when a man asks me, a woman, do I understand the off side rule in football. I always say 'yes, which part do you want me to explain to you?'
#36
I went over and he was playing the Sims. His Sim hadn’t showered, was peeing himself, surrounded by flies and late for work.
He. Was. In. Law. School. And. Couldn’t. Manage. A. Sim.
crashthegreenhat 8 hours ago
To be fair, Sims just want to d*e. (Source: I watch Gray Still Plays)
#37
He thought I made up the word "hijinks" rather than admit that he didn't know what I meant.
#38
First date. He told me he thought my rescue dog who was tortured by her first owners was ugly and then proceeded to tell me he hated cheese.
crashthegreenhat 8 hours ago
The cheese part I understand, the dog part though, well, they get the door.
#39
After five months he told me that when he was younger he tried to withdraw other people's money from a bank. Me: "oh really? How did you do that?" Him: "With a weapon".
#40
Patted me on the top of my head at the end of the date.
#41
His toilet bowl always had poo streaks in it.
#42
I know this is gonna be a hot take. But men who golf give me the ick. The sub culture is misogynistic and I would never want to be with someone who is selfish with their time. The second I see a titleist hat or a polo shirt I am immediately disgusted.
DrBronxx 8 hours ago (edited)
I love golf, but this person does have a point. There is a misogynistic and elitist vibe that is really horrible. The severity of the vibe is usually directly related to how expensive the club is. I had to stop playing because of injury, but in the end, I basically liked playing alone, at my local course that cost about $30 a round.
#43
A male friend who I had known since we were 12 and 14 and lived across the street from each other set me up on a blind date with "the perfect guy for you." The guy's hobby was cycling. ALL he talked about was cycling. No cycling or second date for me!
#44
Went out with a guy who told me he didn't like music.
Not any particular genre, all music.
He elaborated that he drove places and worked out in total silence.
Tell me that's not psychopath behavior.
#45
I told him what I did for work and he told me to hook him up with a job too. ICK! Why are you actively on a dating app when you should be on Indeed!
#46
Outdoor concert and dancing awkwardly alone - nobody else dancing. Movie is deep. He’s not grasping it. Thru dinner ran through the gamut of home improvements - including details of how he did each one. After dinner, boxed up MY leftovers for himself bc he paid the bill. Out grocery shopping for his dinner party — he’s not paying $3 for tomatoes (he’s a lawyer) Went to a dance party. He wouldn’t dance even though he said he danced. Ripped me up bc I danced with someone else. And on and on.
#47
He wore a flamey, short sleeved button down, like the Y2K type from Spencer’s and he played fantasy football during both movies at the drive in. He didn’t ask me a single question. When I asked him a few questions about himself, he said he felt like he was being interrogated.
#49
He invited me over for dinner. But I noticed he leaves the cabinet doors open to see what’s inside…and I just can’t live my life this way. I closed the door on this relationship.
#50
We saw When Harry Met Sally on a date and afterward, said he hated it. That was all I needed to know. Byyyeee!
Grape Walls of Ire 8 hours ago
That happened to me too! Except the movie was Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
#51
A guy I'd met online, then for coffee, seemed nice enough... but then said he'd love to cook for me at his place, making spaghetti with "a nice chianti". No, a second date is not going to be at *your* home... and NEVER after you've quoted Hannibal Lecter.
#52
In the same night he 1. Slorped all over his knife in a nice restaurant and 2. Left me in the pouring down rain as he ran past me to his side of the vehicle, got in, and then unlocked my side. My side was closer to the restaurant. I was done.
#53
Used too many napkins, sounds weird but like, why are you so messy you need 20 napkins.
#54
Flew somewhere on vacation. He bought the airline tickets. His ticket was first class, mine was economy. Really? When I was surprised he justified it by saying he paid for them so he should get the better seat. Biggest mistake is I married him anyway. Divorced now.
#55
he said he only really listened to country music.
Crystalwitch60 5 hours ago
YES AND ????woman is the red flag here again country music is lush ,ok so I love all genres.but nothing wrong with country music,
#56
He plugged his nose when he jumped in the pool. Mind you, we are in our late 40’s and live in Florida.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 hours ago
Uh... I live in Southern California, grew up in a house with a pool, and I plug my nose if I jump into pools/water XD I hate the feeling of water up my nose. I guess I wouldn't get a second date with OP!
#57
He had fuzzy dice on his rear view mirror and said it was a gag gift… I was gagged.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 hours ago
I have fuzzy dice hanging from my bedroom doorknöb. But they're actually the Companion Cube from Portal XD
#58
He asked me if I liked hiking or running marathons. I said I was an indoor cat, and the extent of my outdoorsiness is pointing at a rock and saying "I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.” He … began sending me pictures of rocks. I asked why he was sending me random rocks, and he looked at me like I was stupid. “You like boulders.” He was incensed when I said I was just quoting Shrek. He snapped he’d NEVER seen Shrek, it’s NOT a popular film, and I’d LIED to him about liking boulders.
#60
He ate lukewarm nacho cheese straight out of the jar.
#61
He opens the microwave early and leaves it on 2 seconds.
crashthegreenhat 8 hours ago
TO be fair, I do the same (I hate the beeping noise) but I clear the time left when I am done.
#62
He mimed playing the guitar at a party --- where most of the guests were professional musicians. Instant "Never again."
#63
His laugh was higher pitched than mine. I couldn’t compete.
#64
Not liking/unwilling to dance Tells me: I take myself too seriously and don’t know how to put my pride/ego aside and make the best of an uncomfortable situation.
#65
He stepped into the shower, turned the water on, and THEN proceeded to adjust the temperature.
#66
I went to a guy's apartment and looked at his bookshelves. Plenty of books! NONE OF THEM were written by a woman except Harry Potter.
What do you think ?
Auntriarch 1 hour ago
Someone doesn't understand the difference between "red flag" and "we just weren't suited"
Auntriarch 1 hour ago
Someone doesn't understand the difference between "red flag" and "we just weren't suited"
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