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63 Unethical Life Pro Tips That Work Too Well To Write Them Off
It’s definitely worth trying to be a good person. But being good doesn’t always mean being nice. Sometimes, you need to let your inner Slytherin out. There are moments when you need cunning, out-of-the-box thinking, and a teeny tiny bit of moral flexibility to get results and protect your time, money, and energy.
We have collected the most interesting life hacks and pieces of advice from the ‘Unethical Life Pro Tips’ group to help you view your problems in a more creative light. Be warned, these hacks are too effective to ignore, but they’re slightly unethical and might make you feel guilty for using them.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
If you glue a d**d wasp to the palm of your hand, you can hit your boss on the back of the head as hard as you like and act like you saved him
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#2
To catch a food thief in a way that won't get you sued, use food coloring. It's simple: Take a jelly donut, take a plastic syringe or a baster, and take a package of food coloring. Mix together an atrocious amount of red and blue food coloring, then inject them into the jelly donut. The color will go unnoticed until the thief has their lips, hands, teeth, and possibly shirt covered in a hideous dark purple shade that will not come off for days. It's not toxic, it won't induce allergies, it's not a laxative, and it's not even spicy. Undetectable until it’s too late.
#3
Send a wedding invite to every billionaire you can find an address for, as there's a good chance their assistants just send you a gift without ever confirming who you are or if their boss knows you.
Peter Bear 13 hours ago
This one is completely ethical, because it is not possible to become a billionaire ethically.
People justify their unethical behavior in various ways while still maintaining a positive self-image.
For instance, they might choose to view their behavior as morally ambiguous and in a grey area.
“Some situations are indeed morally complex or confusing, but people may interpret the information at hand in a selective manner,” writes social and health psychologist Juliana Breines, PhD.
Meanwhile, another way to justify doing something unethical is to frame it as an act of altruism. In a nutshell, people are more comfortable using deception for personal gain if they can justify things as selflessness.
#4
During your last semester of college, get your student ID photo retaken. You’ll have a more believable ID for student discounts/perks for a few extra years after graduating.
#5
To get through busy crowds, try shaking a tin of coins and smiling at people. They will think you are collecting donations and avoid you at all costs.
#6
Remember the power of booing. It's not just for sports fans to show their disapproval; it's meant for anyone to show their disapproval. And it is very distracting. On college campuses, for instance, you'll occasionally have preachers or religious fanatics spouting off some potentially hateful things. Some students will try to argue with them to no avail. Just boo them. Booing drowns out what that person is saying or doing, and there is no thinking needed. You don't need to respond to their arguments, think of counterpoints, etc. Just boo them."
"If you're at a protest or speech and people or the speaker are saying awful stuff that you disagree with? Just boo them. Do your parents start going off on a tangent about an unpopular opinion they have? Just boo them. Someone makes an awkward joke at work, or says something intentionally weird or hurtful? Don't ask them to repeat it. Just boo them. Don't waste your time and energy on people who don't deserve it. Just drown out what they are saying, or annoy them to the point where they are quiet or leave by...booing them. It's really easy.
Lupita Nyong'heaux 11 hours ago
i actually like this one! i will keep this in mind moving forward. thx, internet stranger!
What’s more, individuals feel better about their own unethical behavior by harshly judging other people who have done the same thing. This is so-called ethical distancing. It is, at its core, hypocrisy at its finest.
“Studies of ethical distancing have found that it is more likely to occur under certain conditions. First, the person has to see the behavior in question as immoral. Sometimes after a transgression, people will rationalize it by viewing it as less problematic, in which case they might judge others less harshly for the same offense. Second, the person has to believe that their own transgression is unlikely to be exposed, lest they risk appearing hypocritical,” Breines explains.
#7
Save business cards of people you don't like. If you ever hit a parked car accidentally, just write "sorry" on the back and leave it on the windshield.
Robert T 16 hours ago
No, because that's downright dishonest. Instead write "sorry I accidentally hit your car" on them and put them on the car of someone else you don't like. They will then be looking round for the non-existent damage and will eventually call the other person and neither will know what the **** is going on!
#8
If someone is recording you and you do not want to be recorded... "Pull up a Disney song on your phone. Disney doesn't play around with that." (Why? Copyright reasons. The video will probably get taken down.)
Michael Largey 15 hours ago (edited)
Unless they're an amazing genius and somehow discover how to remove the sound from a video.
#9
Did you get the dreaded SSSS on your boarding pass? Just throw it away and pull up your boarding pass on your phone. Confirmed that this works just a few days ago. I went to the airline desk to check a bag, and she printed me a paper boarding pass. I look at it on my way to TSA and notice she wrote SSSS on it. A quick Google search informed me that I was randomly selected for secondary screening. Since I had already checked in on the app, I opened it up and displayed my boarding pass, which did not have the SSSS on it. I got to TSA, showed my ID, scanned the boarding pass on my phone, and went on my merry way. No secondary screening!
The ‘Unethical Life Pro Tips’ group has been sharing slightly shady life hacks for more than a decade, since it was founded in March 2016.
According to the moderators who run the group, this is a digital space for tips that improve your life in meaningful ways, “perhaps at the expense of others and/or with questionable legality.”
#10
Take easy, fun classes every now and then at your local community college. In PA, they are, like, $300, and I prob save more on software than the class costs. You still have a student email address and ID. Plus, you get to learn a new skill or just cool stuff.
#11
When buying furniture or house repair items in the US, go to your local USPS and get a change of address mailer. You're not required to change your address, and inside there are several discount coupons from stores like Lowe's, Wayfair, and Overstock.com. I once even got a 10% off coupon for Publix.
Heffalump 26 minutes ago
This list is supposed to be for unethical behavior, but this is ethically fine: the coupon issuers don't care how you get hold of their coupons, they just want you to have them and use them. USPS doesn't care either: what they get paid to put the coupons in the mailer exceeds its cost.
#12
if you’re stuck on an annoying call, put your phone on airplane mode instead of just hanging up. The other person will see “call failed” instead of “call ended”
Chrystina Sumpter 16 hours ago
If I hang up on someone, I WANT them to know I hung up on them.
Naturally, ethical life hacks are allowed too, so long as they provide “more benefit than the unethical tip.”
The mods emphasize that tips must not be obvious and have to actually provide you with some benefit. If your life hack is just a clever way of being a jerk, you’re in the wrong place.
Furthermore, you’re not allowed to share any illegal advice. Nor are you allowed to share “clever ways of stealing from other people or businesses for the sake of stealing.”
#13
Tell anyone that tries to sell you a timeshare or vacation rental that you are a travel agent. They'll immediately leave you alone.
Sue User 15 hours ago
When I was young and desperate, I went to one of those " have dinner on us". It was portrayed as a you could win a few vacation. They were giving away one extra week at a timeshare if you booked a timeshare. After about 20 minutes of hard sell I told them I worked at restaurant and had about $5 in my bank account.
#14
If you need longer than the checkout period to finish the e-book you borrowed, just put your e-reader in airplane mode. Even after the due date passes and the e-book is automatically 'returned' to the library shelf, it will remain on your device until it's reconnected to the internet and automatically loses the book. I've been reading off and on for a couple of months past the due date on my Kindle with no problem. And because the book's availability isn't dependent on whether the copy is downloaded to your e-reader, you're not holding it hostage from other library customers.
#15
If you can't get your roommate to clean up, create a fake Tinder profile, match with them, and tell them you're coming over. They'll leave the place absolutely spotless in no time.
We want to hear your perspectives in the comments at the bottom of this post, Pandas!
Which of these life hacks do you personally think you’d find useful in your day-to-day life? Which ones would you be fine with, and which ones are slightly too unethical for you to even consider testing out?
Meanwhile, what are the best life hacks that protect your time, money, and energy that you’d like to pass on to your fellow readers? Let us know!
#16
If you forgot to reply to a text, or it was important, send the message you would have sent five times, followed by a 'Are you getting my messages?' text.
#17
Want to get 10–15% off the expensive item online, but it is not on sale? Add items to the cart and start the checkout process all the way until payment, then leave it for a few days. You will probably get a coupon code with a discount to complete your order.
#18
If you want to cancel a gym membership and the gym says you have to come in to do it, just tell them you’ve moved out of state already and forgot. They'll send you an online form. (Although this isn't really 'unethical' as much as it is avoiding the scummy and predatory cancellation policy that most gyms have.)
Natalia Jahooblies 2 hours ago (edited)
Are there really gyms that force you to go in to cancel? I've cancelled approximately 6 gym memberships and I've never had to go in in person.
#19
Don't want to pay for garbage pickup? Just put your trash in old Amazon boxes and leave them on your porch. You're not just saving money, you're recycling, too.
#20
Buy the cheapest tickets available for a sporting event. Once inside, check Ticketmaster and Stubhub for better seats that didn’t sell and go sit there.
#21
If you plan on going to prison, learn to cut hair. Barbers are greatly appreciated by other inmates and you’ll likely be spared when it comes to prison violence.
#22
Just answer the phone in another language. German seems to confuse most people.
#23
Just call and keep asking to speak with someone higher. Ever find that your credit card interest is too high? Or that fee charged by your checking account is high? Just keep asking for someone higher! I work for a bank, and most of the time, if you request to speak with someone higher (manager, supervisor, i.e.), the person who comes on the line will end up waiving the fee. If not, just ask for the next highest person; someone can always override it! Now the biggest trick to it is to be nice! Don't curse, scream, or shout. Just politely say, 'I've been with you for a long time, and I want a courtesy.' This works even multiple times a year. It especially works if you reach a USA-based customer service, as most of them have the power to override the system.
#24
If a computer illiterate relative/friend asks you to fix their slow computer, boost their cursor speed by a notch or two. They’ll instantly notice a difference and thank you!
#25
Want your commercial to be seen by millions of people for free? Put it on YouTube with the title "The commercial the Superbowl refused to run.
#26
Looking for a gently used video game console/game/tablet this holiday season? Wait outside a GameStop, find someone trading in what you want, and tell them you will give them $25 more than whatever GameStop offers them.
#27
If you want to call in sick and need a certificate from the doctor, you can often triple the duration of your certificate by telling the doctor that you're working in the food industry.
#28
If you're using a service's free trial and plan on purchasing it, cancel the trial period before it automatically charges you. Companies will often offer you a discount to get you to stay.
#29
If a customer service call starts with an AI bot, swear to get a human. A surprising number of companies have set up an AI assistant to answer their customer care calls. It assumes swear words and angry customers need a human agent, so the system may transfer you faster.
#30
Look up your buildings washer/dryer model on eBay and order a key for it. I haven’t paid for laundry in years and it cost me $8.00! Sleep like a baby knowing you’re not paying for on-site laundry.
#31
When you give someone a gift card as a gift, write down the card number and code. Then after a year or two, check the balance and if they hadn't used it yet, just use it yourself. They obviously won't know or care.
#32
In your last year of college “lose” your student ID and get a new one. The exp date will reset and you can get another 4 years of discounts
#33
If your company doesn't pay you for sick leaves/ doesn't permit you to take sick leave, show up at work with a flu/pox and *accidentally* infect everybody. They will eventually change policies
#34
Remember all those sketchy websites on Google, that let you watch any movie or TV show you wanted for free? They're all on duckduckgo.com now.
[insert movie/show here] watch online free"
have that firewall on, and expect to close out of a lot of popups, but nothing new.
#35
To get a 'new customer discount' over and over, add a . to your Gmail address.
Gmail doesn't recognize periods in email addresses, so abc123@gmail.com is the same as a.b.c.1.2.3@gmail.com. You can use this to repeatedly redeem new customer discounts without the bother of opening a new email account.
#36
If your family or roommates dont want to upgrade internet speed, just go into the router admin settings and set their devices to one of the lowest bandwidths possible. When they start complaining about it, just tell them that upgrading the internet will fix the problem.
#37
If you clog the toilet at a party, find the host and ask them where the bathroom is. Walk to the bathroom and immediately return and tell them it is clogged. There's no way you clogged it in 15 seconds.
#38
Get an 'OFFERCODE10' discount code for $10 off, or something similar with a number? Try swapping in some higher numbers in place of 10. I've gotten bigger discounts several times now where I abandoned a shopping cart, got a discount code sent to me, but wasn't satisfied with the amount of the discount. So I'll try a handful of random numbers instead of the 10 or whatever they sent me. Oftentimes, there are higher discount tiers that still work. For example, I just recently got a $30 discount rather than a $10 discount using this trick.
#39
Dispose of small, heavy items for free at the airport. Travel buddy and I disposed of 30KG worth of broken dumbbells (plates for dumbbells) by taking them in our carry-on suitcases and letting airport security dispose of them for free instead of checking the dumbbells. (It would’ve cost a lot of money to dispose of them in Hong Kong, and I can't really sell the exercise equipment here as my friend's dad can't figure out Marketplace, and my friend moved to another country.)
#40
If you ever rob a bank, make sure to hold your middle finger in front of you the whole time so the news has to blur your face in the security footage.
Becky Samuel 11 hours ago
How about wearing a musical Disney character mask! The news won't be able to afford to pay the rights.
#41
Keep hydrated at work. You'll need to take a lot of bathroom breaks. This will make up for all the breaks smokers get. Might as well double up and start smoking.
AtMostAFabulist 15 hours ago
Are there still a lot of people smoking in front of the building?
#42
Paper due at 11:59? Nowhere close to being done? Submit a paper you've done for another class and then use the time between then and when your professor emails you saying, "Oops! Looks like you submitted the wrong paper" to work on your actual paper
#43
Open up small cards in your kid's name with your name attached to boost your kid's credit score. Charge small things like chewing gum and pay them off every month. Keep this up for, like, 17 years, and your kids will be 18 with 17 years of credit history! Best 18th B-day present ever? 18 y/o with a 750 FICO.
#44
Looking to save money? Tell companies you were just laid off. Tired of paying so much for TV, internet, etc., and struggling to negotiate over the phone? You could always threaten to cancel your subscription, but lately I've found telling the person on the phone, 'Hey, I love your service, but I was just laid off last week and can't afford it anymore. Is there anything you can do to help me out?' It's non-combative and wins them over to your side; layoffs are rampant, so it's believable, and if it doesn't work, you can always threaten to cancel and get sent to reclamations.
#45
How to get Halloween decorations for deep discounts: My kid is obsessed with those huge animatronics from Home Depot. They cost $300–$400 each, but at the end of Halloween, they go on sale for 75% off. The problem is that as these sales happen, the items go out of stock, or employees buy them up. This year, what I did was buy the items at full price right as October started. This ensured the items were still in stock. I selected PICKUP, which ships the items to the store, and delivery times go out one to two weeks later. When the items arrived, I kept delaying pickup. In the app, it gives you a week to get the items, but you can push it back.
Eventually, the items went on sale, but of course, they were 'sold out.' I called Home Depot customer service, and they said they don't price-match items that are sold out, surprise, surprise. When I went to pick up the items, I eventually just went to customer service and said I’d like to have these price-adjusted. If they say no, then you say you want to return the items and rebuy them immediately. I walked out with $800 of animatronics for $200.
olivejuicedrinker (she/her) 11 hours ago
careful, the animatronics do get a bit quirky at night
#46
If you're ever in traffic and nobody is letting you merge — cut the Tesla off. They'll have to let you in.
#47
Keep an old parking fine ticket with you so if you need to park illegally, you can put the ticket under your windscreen wiper so the parking inspectors will think you’ve already been marked!" Note: This may not work, and you could still end up with a ticket, but it's still worth a try if you HAVE to park during street cleaning or something.
#48
You don't have to reimburse yourself immediately for HSA expenses. You can keep the receipts and reimburse yourself 30 years from now, after your money has grown, still tax-free. Look up the HSA decades of receipts method online. I think of it as a secondary emergency fund.
#49
My mother thought she'd be doing me a favor by submitting my phone number to some random health insurance quote site. I literally started getting calls within 10 seconds, and they didn't stop for weeks. At its worst, I counted 78 calls in 48 hours. I DID figure out how to make them stop, though! I started submitting the numbers they were calling from to the same health insurance quote site that my number was submitted to, like some sort of hellish telecommunications loop. Within a few days, the calls stopped for the most part.
#50
If the person sitting in front of you on a flight reclines their seat all the way back and leaves you with no room, turn on the air con above you to full blast and point it at the top of their head.
If their sensitive to it (especially if they’re bald), they’ll straighten up their seat. If not, then you’ll both be uncomfortable for the entire flight.
#51
If you’re initiating a divorce, secretly arrange consultations with ALL the best divorce attorneys in your area before choosing one and filing. Once they have met with you, even briefly, they are considered biased and will have to recuse themselves from representing your spouse.
#52
Do you and your partner want to visit historic buildings/museums but can't afford the entrance fee? Pretend you're engaged and are considering the location as your wedding venue. You'll get in for free and be given a tour.
#53
If you come across a dating profile begging for money, send them a request for the same amount instead of a gift. Many times they're too careless to read and will automatically accept it because they assume another desperate guy is sending cash.
#54
Now is a good time for a cheap wedding. You can send “wish we could invite you” cards and probably still get gifts without paying for a big wedding.
No one can responsibly host a large event right now, but you can certainly pretend that you intended to.
Edit: Some suggestions from the comments include: Streamed weddings, delayed weddings and post-wedding parties. I think those are all great ideas!
#55
Koalas have a 20% chance of being infected with Chlamydia with many more carrying the disease. If you are harboring koala refugees from the Australian bushfires, and you cheated on your spouse and got chlamydia, use this as an excuse.
#56
If you are in a crowded nightclub and trying to find your way out, start to run and pretend you are about to vomit.
#57
Want to save money at Kohl's? Purchase four or five low-value items on Amazon, then return each item through Kohl’s on consecutive days to stack the $5 Kohl's cash they give you to get up to a $30 discount on an item.
#58
Return a TV or laptop online and buy it back as 'open box' for a steep discount. This really only works well if you buy a model that has no open box models, since that will affect your chances of getting your old item back. Done right, this can easily save you at least $200, depending on the TV or laptop.
#59
Don't boycott, buy stuff and return it later. Big-box retailers generally lose money on returns, even if it's just the labor to inspect them and put them back in stock. Buying some stuff and then returning it near the end of the return period can also create more stock in the store than room on the shelf, as they weren't planning to have that inventory back. There are exceptions, though; for example, some retailers have arrangements with manufacturers so that products on their shelves are still owned by the manufacturer (like with expensive tools at the orange box store). Just don't be dumb, a lot of stores could refuse a return if they suspect this is what you are doing.
#60
When you keep getting called by telemarketers... "Call back to the number...after around 10–15 calls, they will block YOU. I'll sell them natural gas, extended car warranty, whatever.
Miracle Max 13 hours ago
No, no they won't. The numbers that show on your phone are either from a phone bank that doesn't accept incoming calls, or spoofed and you will end up bothering the real person or business that owns the number.
#61
if you accidentally scratch someone’s car, write a note in shaky handwriting saying you are 5 years old and fell off your bike. Then leave $5 saying it’s all you had
#62
Donate to homeless shelters in the next town over. The majority of homeless people tend to go where there are available services, and this will reduce the number of homeless in your town.
#63
Tell your kid that if he or she doesn't brush their teeth well enough, they'll all fall out. When they start to lose their baby teeth, tell them they didn't do a good enough job. This way, they'll brush their adult teeth really well.
Chrystina Sumpter 16 hours ago
Wow. Teach your kid that their parent isn’t to be trusted. No way that’ll go wrong.
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What do you think ?
Ace 15 hours ago
My god, this was a poor lot; even eight years ago when they were posted they were nearly all tired, old and completely fake.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 15 hours ago
I did admittedly have a good chortle at the "tape a wasp to your hand and slap your boss" one, though.
Load More Replies... AskMeAboutMyPoorJudgment 4 hours ago
64. Run a website where all the material is stolen from Reddit and endlessly recycled
Ace 15 hours ago
My god, this was a poor lot; even eight years ago when they were posted they were nearly all tired, old and completely fake.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 15 hours ago
I did admittedly have a good chortle at the "tape a wasp to your hand and slap your boss" one, though.
Load More Replies... AskMeAboutMyPoorJudgment 4 hours ago
64. Run a website where all the material is stolen from Reddit and endlessly recycled
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