Cold truths are hard to swallow for a reason. They strip us of the illusion that everything’s in our control and that we know things best. But in reality, that’s not how things work, and who likes to be told that?!
“What’s a truth no one wants to hear?” wondered Redditor u/grubbseuph11 on r/AskReddit and people shared some illuminating and brutally honest responses, like the hard-to-digest fact that “friends will come and go,” and that “no matter how likeable you may be, there are always going to be certain people who don't like you, sometimes for no particular reason.”
So let’s get ready to be hit by a cold shower that should make you rethink this whole perspective on our lives, and be sure to check out our previous post with more hard truths right here.
You aren’t a hero or even a good person just because you’re in the military
Time doesn't heal wounds, it builds scar tissue.
You are much closer to being poor and homeless than you are to being super rich
In order to find out why exactly it's so hard to swallow a hard truth, and how we should react to it, Bored Panda spoke with Susan Petang, a certified divorce coach and the creator of “The Quiet Zone Coaching,” who teaches women how to stop feeling overwhelmed and start waking up happy in the morning again.
“When we develop close relationships, we expect those people to be gentle with us, not hurt us,” said Susan explaining why hard truths are not pleasant to hear. “When they offer up a hard truth, it violates the expectation that the person isn't going to cause us pain. We want them to love and encourage us—but we don't always realize that a hard truth is being given to us with love and encouragement, with our best interests in mind.”
“I don't know” is a perfectly valid answer to many questions.
“Often, what someone else calls a ‘hard truth’ we call ‘criticism,’” she said. “If a criticism is true, we can agree and apologize, then work to make it right—or we can ignore and deflect it if it isn't true.”
Moreover, Susan said that when someone we care about delivers a hard truth, we should take that opinion more seriously, because this is a person whose opinion we trust. “I advise my clients to think about the intention behind the message. If the intention is to help us, prevent us from making a mistake, or intervene before we get hurt, it's worthwhile to consider.”
It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness, that is life.
Some people are bad parents.
Being funny or smart doesn’t mean you’re ready to take care if a human being (maybe even multiple) for a good chunk of your life.
Please don’t get kids to fix a relationship either, I’ve seen this too much and it doesn’t work.
Most people genuinely do not care about you or your opinions, which is just fine
Susan advises asking yourself if the "hard truth" is really true. “Be brutally honest with yourself—remember why your loved one brought it up to you in the first place!”
“It's beneficial to hear a hard truth when we're hurting someone else, hurting ourselves, or not being true to our values,” she explained and added: “So situations that look like that would be drug/alcohol abuse, spousal abuse, child abuse, bad financial or career decisions, or dating someone married if you're religious.”
No matter how likeable you may be, there are always going to be certain people who don't like you, sometimes for no particular reason.
Life will never be exactly like it was before the pandemic started.
You can't run from yourself. Moving towns, cities or even countries won't automatically change who you are
Friends will come and go. You will have many friends who one day you will never see again.
You are the main character in your life but you're just an extra in everone else's
It's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice.
Climate change is an exponential curve and we are entering the shoulder. Natural disasters are expected to increase 8x in the next couple decades. It gets worse after that.
It just takes a second to destroy what has taken years or even centuries to make.
War can come to your doorstep, everything can change. No country is immune. History clearly demonstrates this.
Not everything happens "for a reason" or because of something you have (or have not) done.
Sometimes, things in life and the Universe go sideways and it's just your time to be caught in the crossfire.
All your bones are wet right now
If you don’t take care of your teeth when you’re young, you’ll regret it when you’re old. Brush twice a day, goddamnit.
If you’re chasing a romance or friendship… the other person doesn’t want to be with you.
You’re not special… but that’s okay because everyone is not special together.
The odds that you die tomorrow is wayyy higher than winning on that lottery ticket.
There's no "health in every size". If you're over/under certain weight limit, you have a higher risk in getting sick. There's no "but-".
That you need to stop procrastinating and get that thing you've been needing to do done already.
Your boyfriend/husband is always going to find other women attractive.
We’ll eventually be alone, so it’s either being comfortable with ourselves or being tormented by loneliness later in life
Staying with someone who cheated on you is never a good idea
There are some people who just are NOT going to like you. And you will have done nothing to deserve, cause or warrant it. Its not your fault.
Life is as much unfair and unjust as it is possible for it to be
Oxytocin, the “love hormone”, also increases animosity towards those you regard as “others”