Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
84
Woman Muses Online: “AITA For Refusing To Thank My SIL Cause She Had To ‘Babysit’ Her Own Kids?”
Gratitude is a wonderful feeling that means so much in our lives. We thank our parents for raising us, our friends for all the good things they do for us; we thank random people around us – for big and small pleasant things. We thank our relatives… but here actually lies the stumbling block!
In fact, it’s quite difficult to determine at what point someone close to us really expects words of gratitude from us and at what point it’s all taken for granted. For example, in the case of the user u/Relevant_Artichoke24, the author of today’s story, it was a joint trip with her bro to Scotland. However, let’s take everything in order.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
The author of the post has an elder brother who is married and has 2 kids under 6YO
Image credits: lookstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The siblings have always been very close to each other, and recently, the brother gifted the sis a trip to Scotland
Image credits: Relevant_Artichoke24
Image credits: wirestock / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The siblings went on the trip together – and the sister-in-law stayed at home babysitting the kids
Image credits: Relevant_Artichoke24
Image credits: peoplecreations / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The trip was wonderful, and the author was incredibly thankful to her brother – but didn’t say any word of gratitude to his spouse
Image credits: Relevant_Artichoke24
The SIL was livid over this and dubbed our heroine ‘disrespectful,’ and their relationships with their brother had been strained since then
So, the Original Poster (OP) is 22 years old. She has a 35YO older brother and other siblings, and all of them, as our heroine notes, have always been very close to each other. Which, by the way, the author’s SIL could never understand. However, different families always have different traditions and customs – after all, we are all different.
And so, quite recently, the elder brother gave our heroine a trip to Scotland for her birthday – something she had long dreamed of but could never afford due to tight finances. The brother and sister were supposed to go together, and his wife, staying with their two kids under 6 at home, wished her husband and SIL to have a great time.
And so it was – the trip was simply wonderful, and our heroine was incredibly grateful to her bro for such an incredible birthday gift. But, as it turned out, after returning home, her sister-in-law also expected some words of gratitude from her for the fact that she approved her husband of going, staying to babysit their kids. The author didn’t think about this at all and refused to agree that SIL actually did her any favor.
The result was a real fight, during which the sister-in-law called the OP ‘disrespectful’ – like she sat at home with the children, while she ‘had fun with her husband’ in Scotland! Yes, that’s exactly what she said. And, what’s most offensive for the author is that since then, she and her brother have gone low contact – apparently at the request of his wife. And this, it must be said, really upsets our heroine.
Image credits: benzoix / Freepik (not the actual photo)
“The situation is not very pleasant and seems quite ambivalent, to be honest,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, who Bored Panda asked for a comment here. “On the one hand, we are talking exclusively about the relationship between spouses, in which this woman, in fact, does not interfere in any way.”
“On the other hand, simply saying “Thank you!” would have been fine. However, if she doesn’t have her own children, she won’t be able to go into all the intricacies of parenting and babysitting either. Therefore, expecting her to say some special and heartfelt words of gratitude for the wife letting her brother go on a trip is not quite right.”
“If I were this woman, since she is so upset about the deterioration of her relationship with the brother, I would once again sincerely talk to his wife, explain the situation, and try to mend fences with her. And yes, it would be worth thanking her – since it’s so important to her. After all, in a relationship with any married person, you always need to take into account the factor of their spouse,” Irina sums up.
People in the comments also sincerely noted that the story described looks rather strange; however, in the end, babysitting 2 kids alone is really not this easy, so most likely, the SIL gave our heroine a true gift. “Being home alone with the kids when your spouse is gone is kind of a blow,” one of the responders reasonably wrote. And what do you, our dear readers, also think about this situation?
People in the comments were very divided, but most of them simply urged the author to just thank her SIL and that’s all
Poll Question
Total votes ·
Thanks! Check out the results:
Total votes ·
Newsletter
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
ThisIsMe 9 months ago
This will probably be wildly unpopular, but I'm childfree and I have never understood these kinds of kid issues. If you have children, you know there are going to be times where they are not included, or that one or the other parent has to be fully in charge (sickness, business travel, etc). This is just part of working it out between the spouses. Maybe mom needed an extra hand that week, but it doesn't sound like she said anything to that effect. I don't think OP owed a thank you (although it would be nice to have offered one in a timely manner) but the brother certainly did. Child care is the parent's issue to negotiate.
Tyke 9 months ago (edited)
My husband's Father had a stroke and husband had to go to almost the other side of the world to care for him (only child). He went for two weeks, which turned into 9 weeks. I had to solo parent through Christmas, term time, my Mum has breast cancer, it's not been easy. So many people keep saying, now he's back, he "owes me". No. He didn't go on holiday, it wasn't fun for him. Fortunately I love hanging with my kid, it was tough but we managed. Marriage/a committed relationship is not about 'making up for it' when one has to step up to cover. We chose to have a child, we chose to enter into a longterm relationship, you sometimes have to just crack on with life and get through it. And then just be happy to be together again when finally reunited. OP's SIL needs to get over it.
Load More Replies...
bElLa sTairZz 9 months ago
feels like the wife just wants to justify her dislike of the sister, watching the kids isnt that deep. its just the only words she can put to the feeling. especially since she said apparently said that she wouldnt want to take a trip with her anyways?? wild
H. B. Nielsen 9 months ago
How do you even approach someone to thank that clearly hates you and has expressed such before even to include saying she wouldn't want to go on a trip you were on before all this happened? Regardless of any other details this person is simply not approachable. That she said thank you prior to the trip when this crazy person was a little less pissed and probably with her brother present is more than enough.
ThisIsMe 9 months ago
This will probably be wildly unpopular, but I'm childfree and I have never understood these kinds of kid issues. If you have children, you know there are going to be times where they are not included, or that one or the other parent has to be fully in charge (sickness, business travel, etc). This is just part of working it out between the spouses. Maybe mom needed an extra hand that week, but it doesn't sound like she said anything to that effect. I don't think OP owed a thank you (although it would be nice to have offered one in a timely manner) but the brother certainly did. Child care is the parent's issue to negotiate.
Tyke 9 months ago (edited)
My husband's Father had a stroke and husband had to go to almost the other side of the world to care for him (only child). He went for two weeks, which turned into 9 weeks. I had to solo parent through Christmas, term time, my Mum has breast cancer, it's not been easy. So many people keep saying, now he's back, he "owes me". No. He didn't go on holiday, it wasn't fun for him. Fortunately I love hanging with my kid, it was tough but we managed. Marriage/a committed relationship is not about 'making up for it' when one has to step up to cover. We chose to have a child, we chose to enter into a longterm relationship, you sometimes have to just crack on with life and get through it. And then just be happy to be together again when finally reunited. OP's SIL needs to get over it.
Load More Replies... bElLa sTairZz 9 months ago
feels like the wife just wants to justify her dislike of the sister, watching the kids isnt that deep. its just the only words she can put to the feeling. especially since she said apparently said that she wouldnt want to take a trip with her anyways?? wild
H. B. Nielsen 9 months ago
How do you even approach someone to thank that clearly hates you and has expressed such before even to include saying she wouldn't want to go on a trip you were on before all this happened? Regardless of any other details this person is simply not approachable. That she said thank you prior to the trip when this crazy person was a little less pissed and probably with her brother present is more than enough.
You May Like Woman Refuses To Host Thanksgiving For 30 People, Pushy Family Still Tries To Guilt-Trip Her Into It Parents Assume Childfree Cousin Will Babysit For Them On A Trip; Receive A Shocking Surprise Instead Guy Snaps After His Studies Are Constantly Interrupted With Babysitting Demands: "He's Your Son"
Indrė Lukošiūtė
Dominyka Proškėnaitė
Ilona Baliūnaitė
Related on Bored Panda
32
31