84 Terrible Things Narcissistic Parents Do That Their Kids Never Really Forget
None of us chooses to be brought into this world. So you’d think the people responsible for raising us would at least give us a safe and loving home. Sadly, plenty of children end up in families that make their lives much harder than they ever needed to be.
Over on the Narcissistic Parents subreddit, users share what growing up with an entitled mother or father can be like. Many call out the things they went through, while others use humor to cope. We’ve rounded up a selection of their posts below. Scroll down to check them out.
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Louder Please !
Eventually You Just Accept That There's No Point
Always feel like every time I tell her what I've been up to, what I like, etc, she asks follow up questions interrogation style that makes me have to explain why I like what I like, hate what I hate and do what I do, or don't do. Should have to explain myself to anyone.
This
When you grow up with narcissistic parents, you often don’t realize anything is wrong at first. To you, getting blamed for things that weren’t your fault or being made to feel guilty for having needs can simply seem normal.
Then, at some point, you realize other families don’t work like that. And that realization can hurt. It can feel lonely too, almost like everyone else got a head start in life while you were left trying to catch up.
Thought You All Would Appreciate This One
Nice Name Bro, Couldn't Crosspost
"We not friends" My mom has been my friend my whole life and I still genuinely enjoy her company and doing stuff with her at age 30. It's that easy.
I Feel Like This Can Hit Close To Home With Many Of Us Here
What doesn't k**l you will become buried trauma that'll fuㅤck you up for the rest of your life
That comparison isn’t even much of an exaggeration. Difficult experiences in childhood can actually change the way your brain learns to understand the world.
“If you have a whole bunch of bad experiences growing up, you set up your brain in such a way that it’s your expectation that that’s what life is about,” James Perrin, former president of the American Academy of Pediatrics, told The Atlantic.
It Do Be Like That
This Made Me Burst Into Tears
Own Up To Your Mistakes For Once
Sadly, childhood trauma is far from rare. According to a 2014 study published in Health Affairs, 48% of US children experience at least one adverse childhood event, while 23% go through two or more.
These can include witnessing domestic violence, living with someone who has a substance problem or having a parent with serious mental illness.
Saw This On Instagram, Thought It Belonged Here 😂
I felt so free when I moved out. That feeling was fleeting when I realized I still needed help from them. When they did help, such as with groceries, cosigning, etc, they felt they had all the control back. I couldn't pick what I wanted to eat, and they demanded a spare key to my apartment if they were going to be on the lease as a cosigner. It was when I was able to not have a cosigner and stop asking for help with the cost of living, that's when I felt more free. But by then, I was already feeling limited in skills and stuck at a job.
Yup, Same
True
I am currently (hopefully not for much longer) a live-in carer for my mother, whose toxic behaviour is magnified by early dementia. It is an unimaginable hell.
Children exposed to at least two traumatic or highly stressful events are 2.5 times more likely to repeat a grade or become disengaged from their schoolwork than those who haven’t faced any.
They are also more likely to have chronic health conditions, including asthma, ADHD, autism and obesity.
Say It Louder For The People In The Back
I Thought This Was Normal And Wondering Why I Hate Staying With My Mum
Kids Aren't Responsible For Their Parents
And growing up doesn’t necessarily mean leaving all of that behind. The habits you learn as a child can follow you for years.
According to Healthline, adults raised by narcissistic parents may struggle to put their own needs first because they spent so long learning that someone else’s feelings mattered more.
I Felt This Post
This Is Literally How I Realized In My Mid 20’s That We Grew Up In An Emotional Abusive Household Wrought With Mental Illnesses
LOL Yeah I Think This Applies Here
As a result, they may deal with a lot of self-doubt and struggle with low self-esteem. That can make it harder to trust their own abilities or speak up for themselves.
They might hold back from applying for a better job because they assume they won’t get it. Even asking a coworker for help can feel uncomfortable, so they may end up taking everything on by themselves instead.
Mine To A Tee…
Happy Mother’s Day
I've had so many mothers since my birth one up and left when I was 5. Thanks ladies.
When toxic parents don’t respect their children’s boundaries, those kids can have a hard time setting their own later on. Saying no might feel scary, especially if it used to get them punished or cause an argument.
They can also turn into people-pleasers after learning that keeping a parent happy was the easiest way to get affection. That habit can stick around in friendships and romantic relationships, where they may keep putting someone else first.
Thought This Would Belong Here
"You get what you give." Is a phrase I've heard working in a seniors home.
Bought My Own Car So My Nparents Can’t Use Taking My Keys As A Manipulation Tactic Anymore :)
The Logic Is Impeccable
Of course, growing up with a toxic parent doesn’t mean you’re doomed to deal with the effects of it forever. People can work through what happened, unlearn the things they had to do to survive and build a much better life for themselves.
The important part is not pretending that kind of childhood was no big deal. Narcissistic parents can make life incredibly hard for their kids, and it can take time to untangle all of that later.
Same. Now I Just Talk Back And Defend Myself 🤷🏻♀️
Mind Blown But Its Soo True!!
Literally Every Night When I Lived With My Nparents
This is why I stay awake until midnight with my cat, even though I know I will regret it the next morning.
Whoop, There It Is. The Truth Uncensored
Anyone Else?
I Feel Attacked Rn 🙃
Seen This On Facebook And Thought It Belonged Here :)
I Need To Keep Telling Myself This
Nothing wrong with me... nothing wrong with me... something's got to give...
You’ve Changed (Condescending Tone)
Or Even Better, Facts From My Little Brother When He Was 9
We Made Ourselves Kind!
Found This On Ifunny, Thought You Guys Might Like It
Here's A Picture I Really Liked
Good For O.p
Pretty Much
Saw This On Facebook, Thought Of This Sub. Good Day!
I Feel Like A Lot Of Us Need To See This…
💯💯
That's It, That Is The Excuse
Louder For The People At The Back
The Feeling Of Utter Dread
Guilty
Yup Pretty Much
Homework Time Was Always Hell. Got Hit With Textbooks Like That Would Help Me Understand??
This... Makes A Lot Of Sense For Me. I Always Agree That My Parents Could Be Worse And I Do Wish Things Were Worse So I'd Feel Justified
Just Cried A Tear Of Happiness After Reading This. I Broke The Cycle Finally. My Kid Does Not Have To Go Through The Pain Of Dealing With Nparents
Oh The Invalidation And Pain We Go Through
Not Mine But I Thought You Would All Appreciate It
I Considered It Relevant
Anyone Who Grew Up With Narcissistic Parents Would Understand
Acting Dumb
Exist For Yourself!
It Took Me Until I Was 31 To Even Recognize What My Favorite Color Is. Who Else Had Nparents That Tried To Sabotage The Formation Of Your Identity?
I Felt This
Man If This Aint My Parents
I’m Walking On Eggshells, Oooh
I Feel Like This Belongs Here Because We All Know This Pain
Anyone Who Gets This Too?
Like This
Pretty Much
Child who are bullies usually have parents that are bullies. I've seen it so many times.
