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48 Things Everyone Loves To Romanticize Except Those Who Actually Experienced Them
Over-the-top hype is a dangerous thing. On the one hand, it can seriously motivate you to aim for a specific goal. On the other hand, it creates a warped illusion, and reality will never measure up to your sky-high expectations. And you’ll just stand there, shocked and devastated.
Internet users spilled the tea about all the things, lifestyles, and professions that society and people love to romanticize, but they regret them the moment they actually get what they want. We have collected their most eye-opening posts, and they’re a gentle reminder to rethink some of your dreams. Be careful what you wish for.
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#1
“I wish I could stay at home all day and have nothing to do”. Chronic illness has forced me into this life. On the surface, it looks great because I do a lot of knitting and crochet, watch a lot of TV, don’t have a particular time I need to get out of bed etc. It’s not romantic. It’s soul destroying. I WANT to be productive and keep up with everyone and WORK, but my body won’t let me.
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#2
1800’s/Medieval times.
I have family that wishes we could go back in time when things were “simpler”.
Like girl. No thanks. I like being able to tell men to stfu, not being a baby making machine, having my own checking account, air conditioning, electricity, driving a car, flying, movies/games, equality (not perfect yet but wayyyy better than those times), and getting an education.
And all the handy appliances/tools? Folks are clueless on how difficult those times were and they were only a little better for the rich/high class.
The main issue with hype and romanticizing things is that you create a vast gap between how the world actually works and how you expect it to work. The bigger the gap, the larger the shock you experience when you finally realize the difference between your expectations and reality. And we don’t know about you, but for us, this can be quite demotivating and paralyzing. If you’ve been chasing some sort of goal. dream, or career for months and years, only to later realize it is nothing like you imagined, it can lead to an identity crisis. Suddenly, you’re left questioning what else you might have gotten so wrong.
According to Manhattan-based psychodynamic psychiatrist Ahron Friedberg, M.D., it is important not to be overly romantic when choosing or changing your career. Doing purposeful and meaningful tasks is a significant factor in your work, however, at the same time, you need to focus on practical things like financial security, too. Meanwhile, do your due diligence and properly research any profession before committing to it.
#4
Being the girlfriend or wife of a very successful man… doesn’t help if he’s extremely attractive to women.
There’s a reason I never wanted to be famous. I didn’t want to have to be “on” at all times.
My partner wasn’t famous, but he was a mover and shaker in our city, and it was a lot.
#6
Rags to riches stories. In reality there are years of suffering that rarely get seen.
st4x2gt974 59 minutes ago
No, no no. There are years of trauma that forced the dire need to succeed against all odds bc failing wasn’t an option. It’s not the suffering to get to the top. That’s the easy part. It’s the reconciling with yourself on why you felt it was your only choice. That’s what will c*****e you the rest of your life.
Friedberg suggests asking yourself these things before you think about a career change: “What is my ulterior motive? Are my aspirations based in reality? Is my new career supposed to fill gaps in my life that, in the clear light of day, would seem way too cavernous for any career to fill?”
He emphasizes that our judgment gets clouded when we’re feeling particularly desperate or lonely. “We are willing to take risks that we convince ourselves are not risks at all. So, we should ask ourselves: If the purpose of taking this leap fails, will there be enough left in the place where I land to have made the effort worthwhile? If the answer is No, if we invested all our emotional capital in a potential mirage, then it’s probably wise not to take the leap at all.”
#7
Being with someone just solely on the basis of love. I personally don’t think love is ever enough.
#8
Working the night shift. People love to romanticize it as being peaceful, quiet, and perfect for introverts who hate crowds. But after a few months, your entire social life is completely out the window because you're sleeping when everyone else is awake. You constantly feel like you're running on empty, you develop weird vitamin deficiencies, and trying to get anything done on a normal daytime schedule becomes a massive, stressful chore.
In the meantime, in a witty piece for The Guardian, Eva Wiseman notes that the issue with romanticizing your life and elevating small moments is that, despite their initial appeal, you start giving too much weight to truly mundane things.
You are, essentially, turning banal and routine things into something that ‘must’ have a narrative arc and main character energy. In other words, when every moment is special and important, nothing is.
“We first clung on to mundanity, the small delights of day-to-day life, as an escape. But soon, I fear, we started elevating these moments and placing importance on them so they had slightly too much weight to bear, narrating short videos of pasta as if documentary footage. These romanticised scenes became not just banal (if sometimes beautiful) moments in a day, but an entire lifestyle. Teethbrushing as narrative arc. Aspirational water bottle-filling at the sink.”
#10
Being a forensic scientist.
I’m one, do DNA. It’s not like CSI. It’s a heavy job, you deal with the worst day of everyone’s lives every day. You realize how evil people can be, especially parents. We have vicarious trauma training and mental health is a hot topic.
But it is neat.
#11
Having a chronic illness. People love to self diagnose with all kinds of stuff, put it in their bios, be the centre of attention. I was diagnosed with a lifelong incurable chronic illness when I was 10 and I feel like a perpetual burden on those who love me and the illness needs constant monitoring and it interferes with every moment of the day. I cannot fathom those who want to cosplay that. Weirdos.
#12
Living on a tropical island. Great for vacation, not so great when you realize how much of the things you use everyday are imported by sea ($$$) including gas (and forget next day deliveriesfrom Amazon), hurricanes/typhoons are a way of life and you can't just evacuate inland, small population means fewer experts in everything from Healthcare to water treatment operations.
Personally, what do you think are the most overhyped and overly romanticized things that people later regret wishing for? Right now, what do you dream of getting or achieving?
What do people romanticize about your profession or lifestyle that doesn’t quite match up to the daily reality? For example, working as a writer certainly matches some of the hyped-up expectations you might have (we survive on endless cups of coffee, do what we love every day, and we’re too smart for our own good) but falls short elsewhere (unfortunately, burnout is far too common, and we didn’t write this on a typewriter with balled-up paper drafts littering the floor).
Grab a drink or a snack and join the conversation in the comments!
#15
Living in NYC.
lunarlandscapes:
I think a lot of people romanticize cities they've never lived in. Its super easy to think about how romantic and beautiful life could be living in Paris, or NYC, or the New Zealand countryside, but then once you move there and the novelty wears off, you realize you still are living the same life, just in a new city. You still have the same problems and issues you've always had. I took a cultural psychology class during my undergrad and we studied this, its super common in immigrants to have a low period a few months after immigrating because of this
#16
Living with a very good musician.
It's not music, it's unrelated loud noises that wear on your nerves all day every day.
#17
Being your own boss/ owning a business.
sala:
I’m convinced that for a lot of businesses that don’t make it, its not because they go brankrupt, its because the owner was not prepared for the level of responsibility, working 70hrs a week and sacrificing almost everything else in their life.
#18
“Cool parents”
Yeah, my dad was a hippie and my mom loved Wicca. My mom also befriended an arsonist because his “soul was pure” so like….idk.
#19
A guy being persistent in a romcom is somehow cute but in real life they’d be super creepy and I’d be terrified they’d try something if I didn’t agree.
#20
Owning horses. Yes you can ride off into the sunset hair flowing in the wind. But there are also 2 AM emergencies, expensive vet bills, can't spontaneously go out of town because you need to find someone trustworthy to take care of them in advance. Hay shortages which results in insane hay prices. The list goes on. Still love them though.
#21
Being an archaeologist. Dusty af, very early mornings, super hard on your back, out in all conditions, often find nothing. I don’t know a single archaeologist over 35 without a chronic back/knee/hip problem. Still love it though.
#30
Living in an old-timey way by getting water from your own well. I used to live in Yemen and had to carry all my drinking water to my flat. It was awful. And there are kids (like 6-10 yr olds) who spend 4 hours a day just getting the family’s daily water.
#31
Managing People. I feel like a lot of people want to be THE boss and be in charge. I think being responsible for and directing people sucks. Just my experience.
Coomstress:
Middle management is tough. Keeping all your direct reports happy while answering to executives who don’t know and don’t care what’s happening on the front lines.
#32
Anorexia. Yes, you might be thin and fit as hell - as other people perceive it. But you can feel your body fading away. It's hell. Your whole body goes haywire.
#34
"You have AuDHD?? Omg, bet you're quirky but organized as hell!!11!1!!!"
IT SUCKS. IT SUCKS SO BAD. I'VE BEEN MASKING MY ENTIRE LIFE AND GETTING BY AND NOW BURNOUT OF EVERYTHING HAS HIT ME LIKE A TRUCK. I HATE LOUD NOISES. I HATE LISTENING TO PEOPLE MAKE NOISE. I'M AWKWARD AS HELL. I HATE HOW MY LIFE IS DISORGANIZED ORGANIZED. I HATE THE IMPOSTER SYNDROME THAT COMES WITH IT. MY HYPERFIXATIONS MAKE ME LOSE SLEEP AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY. BEING ON THE SPECTRUM IS NOT ALL SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS!!!!!
#35
PTSD. It's not an excuse to get out of things. It's a prison you will never fully escape from.
#36
Having a hysterectomy ‘oh you’re so lucky you don’t have periods and cramps anymore- I wish my doctor would approve me for one’ thanks Karen I didn’t have a choice because I had early stage endometrial cancer. The recovery sucked, balancing hormones after going through menopause overnight is awful and I feel like I’ve aged 10 yrs and gained 15 lbs in the past 8 months but yeah it’s great not to have to buy tampons anymore 🙃.
#37
Hiking. I really want to like it, but I spend the bulk of it hoping for it to end. And I’m physically fit, I just find it boring. Maybe it will be better now that I live in the desert. (Not likely😂).
#41
Some people said off-grid/homesteading. But I moved back to the city after doing that for a while and I still can't sleep right here. Too loud too much light pollution and I'm really tired of homeless people begging me for money everywhere I go. I miss the quiet.
#42
Being as fit as an elite athlete and then having to maintain that level of commitment to exercise and nutrition.
#43
Moving to a new country with a different culture / language.
It gets old when you can’t talk to your doctor in a medical emergency.
And it gets lonely if you struggle to make friends in the new culture.
#45
A partner and sharing a bed with said partner.
Gold Monkey 21 minutes ago
Get a king-sized bed with a mattress that dampens movement - or separate mattresses. And wear earplugs.
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