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Article created by: Ilona Baliūnaitė

Our behavior, and the actions that follow it, speak more than thousands of words. So often all you need to do is to sit back and watch people. Remember your male colleague who always uses that patronizing tone of voice when talking to you? Yes, it’s annoying, and no, he doesn’t sense it.

But what if it’s a tell-tale sign that the guy has internalized toxic masculinity? What if this is a precise indication that he feels insecure or somewhere deep down, even threatened by you? You may only speculate or see what guys have to say on the subject matter themselves.

The question “What is a tell-tale sign that a man is insecure about his masculinity or himself in general?” on r/AskMen got a bunch of people sharing what they think are the red flags. And it’s truly eye-opening!

#1

Young man wearing sunglasses and a beige shirt posing against a yellow curtain, illustrating insecurity about masculinity. If he claims to be an “alpha male” - dude, if you have to tell people (loudly and often) that you’re alpha, you are definitely not

jhope71 , Gordon Cowie Report

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    #2

    Man in casual outfit with arms outstretched standing on a rock, illustrating insecurity about masculinity or self-confidence. His view on what makes a man a man is narrow. In his mind, there are only 2-3 types of men and other types are wrong

    w1987g , Karina Carvalho Report

    #3

    Man in red sweater expressing joy, symbolizing confidence and reflecting on insecurity about masculinity or self. Constant attempts to "one-up" anything and anyone at anytime.

    The_Obi-Wan , bruce mars Report

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    #4

    Two older men in casual clothing having a serious conversation, illustrating signs of insecurity about masculinity. Trying to dominate a conversation or activity for no reason/Being needlessly competitive

    TheBookOfSeil , fran hogan Report

    #5

    Smiling man holding coffee cup, showing relaxed body language in casual setting, reflecting signs of insecurity about masculinity. Always fighting to be right no matter what, even if someone obviously knows what they are talking about.

    Beccaaaaaalolz , Ben White Report

    #6

    Two male athletes shaking hands outdoors, illustrating signs of masculinity and insecurity in social interactions. Trying to crush your hand when they shake it. Usually accompanied by fixing you with what they think is an intimidating stare.

    J8766557 , Massimo Sartirana Report

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    #7

    Two men high-fiving at sunset on the beach, illustrating signs of insecurity about masculinity or self-confidence. When he's not supportive of the other men in his life. A truly masculine man loves and supports his brothers and celebrates their achievement An insecure man brings others down to prove he's on "top"

    Vega3gx , Tyler Nix Report

    #8

    Four men sit at a table in a dimly lit room, engaged in a serious discussion about masculinity and insecurity. Any guy who thinks the words alfa and beta mean anything in a social group

    idc55342 , Ashkan Forouzani Report

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    #9

    Young man with long hair smoking a cigarette, illustrating signs of insecurity about masculinity and self-image. When someone gets upset over something as silly as the way another man enjoys his comfortable clothing, takes care of their body, or the way they like their vehicles.

    TurtleChickenFart , Giovanni Randisi Report

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    #10

    Young man wearing a black cap and plaid shirt showing signs of insecurity about masculinity or himself in general. Aggression and violence. Many insecure men use tactics of intimidation or just plain old violence because they feel attacked by everything, cant discuss like a normal grown up, feel like it proves they are a "real man" etc.

    DevilOuttaSpace , David Hinkle Report

    #11

    Man wearing sunglasses and blazer taking a selfie outdoors, illustrating signs of insecurity about masculinity. The worst are guys who use hashtags on instagram like #realman, #realmen, #realmenhavebeards, #manly, #man, #men, #alphamale, #intelligent, #smart, etc. I'm like dude, I've never seen a confident masculine man ever once use [things[ like that. If you have to tell the world you're a "real man", or how "intelligent" or "alpha", you are... you aren't. hahaha

    Nickolai808 , Dimitar Belchev Report

    #12

    Young man sitting casually with coffee cup, smiling in a relaxed setting illustrating masculinity insecurity signs. Pretending to know something about a subject they don’t understand.

    bayswimmer23 , Tyler Nix Report

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    #13

    Group of men in military uniform hiking outdoors, illustrating signs of insecurity about masculinity and self-confidence. When i was in the army we would definitely see people who were bullied in high school and decided to be "billy badass" and join the military then they would be teased and hazed a little as privates. But as soon as they got their own little team and a taste of power they would be the ones that made everyone's lives much more miserable than they needed to be reveling in being the tormenter.

    eleazar1997 , Scandinavian Backlash Report

    #14

    A man gently holding a smiling woman’s face outdoors, illustrating signs of insecurity about masculinity or self. won't let his girl have friends

    littlegreenrock , Lauren Rader Report

    #15

    Man wearing hat and glasses outdoors, looking thoughtfully at phone, illustrating signs of insecurity about masculinity. Constantly looking for the need to brag about your wealth and physical prowess, especially on social media. I know a few dudes who define themselves by the amount of money they've made or how they're better than everyone because they practice a certain martial art

    Retro_Riven , Aylin Çobanoğlu Report

    #16

    Middle-aged man taking a selfie with a woman, illustrating signs of insecurity about masculinity and self-confidence. Insecure about himself: he’s middle age but constantly shares photos of himself in his “prime” such as football team, military uniform etc

    weasel999 , Matt Seymour Report

    #17

    Two men sitting on a couch watching a video on a smartphone, illustrating signs of insecurity and masculinity concerns. People online who post cringey graphics of a lion or the joker with an equally cringe quote next to it saying something along tbe lines of "followers work for other, the alpha works for themselves" with some dollar signs next to it. Or other similar "motivational woke" posts

    dimdimthelesser , Alex Suprun Report

    #18

    Man sitting outdoors with hand covering face, illustrating signs of insecurity about masculinity or self-confidence. Judging people on their choice of shirt and vehicle

    Comfortable_Storm_59 , Marisa Harris Report

    #19

    Young man with glasses and cigarette, outdoors, representing insecurity about masculinity and self-confidence. Constant need to demean or put others down

    Duffy1978 , Cade Report

    #20

    Young man in a trench coat holding and looking at a bouquet of roses, reflecting on signs of masculinity insecurity. Definitely show offs. If you are easily insulted by things tied to lack of masculinity(secretly liking pink for example) then you have fragile masculinity. Normally the truly masculine people are those that a true people. They don't need reassurance, they show emotion and the idea of girly colours, smells etc do not exist.

    ArchangelDeltius , Shamim Nakhaei Report

    #21

    Smiling young man with glasses and beard indoors, illustrating signs of insecurity about masculinity or self-confidence. creates a nickname for himself

    FaberGrad , Samuel Raita Report

    #22

    Man in a gym wearing a red shirt showing signs of insecurity about masculinity or himself in general while lifting weights. Over the top displays, or almost caricatures, of masculinity. Making an effort to communicate dominance, like the sticker you described

    ryanb450 , Brad Neathery Report

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    #23

    Man sitting alone on a park bench, wearing a hoodie and boots, reflecting signs of insecurity about masculinity. The only sign I can think of is going out of your way to prove that you are not insecure about your masculinity and/or yourself in general. Secure people aren’t looking to be validated for being secure

    Plebe-Uchiha , DESIGNECOLOGIST Report

    #24

    Man wearing a vintage helmet and patterned shirt, expressing emotion, related to signs of insecurity about masculinity. Just LOUD in general. Says he does't care what anyone says or thinks about him, but it reality seeks validation and attention from other people all the time

    Makivivu , Colton Duke Report

    #25

    Couple walking hand in hand along a tree-lined path in autumn, illustrating signs of insecurity about masculinity. Emotionally abusive in relationships

    erika513 , Matias Tapia Report

    #26

    Man flexing muscles in gym mirror, illustrating signs of insecurity about masculinity and self-confidence. I go to the gym a lot, I've seen guys ripped af yet don't show it off. Then I see the guys who think they need to show off every muscle in their body and have close to no actual muscle. Or simply people on any online game with the name "alpha" If you are alpha you don't need to show it off like its a big deal lol

    UselessAccounts2020 , Dollar Gill Report