Teen Refuses To Call Stepfather Dad After 15 Years Of Being Treated Like He’s Not His Son

The word stepparent has two parts: step and parent. And while a lot of people put all the weight on the “step,” the “parent” part still means something. If you take on that role, you take on responsibility, and part of that is being involved in the child’s life. If someone can’t handle that, it’s fair to question whether they should get the title at all.

One teen had his stepdad in his life for as long as he could remember. But over the years, the man made it clear he didn’t see him as his real son and kept prioritizing his biological children. So after one more reminder of where he stood, the teen stopped calling him dad.

Turns out it’s not so easy to stomach that treatment when you’re on the receiving end of it. Read the full story below.

The teen had his stepfather in his life for as long as he could remember, yet the man never treated him like a real son

Teen talks to stepdad at home, expressing feelings of being ignored while mom says stepdad is 95 percent dad.

Image credits: Kindel Media (not the actual image)

So he decided to turn the tables on him and stopped calling him “dad”

Teen calls out stepdad for ignoring him while mom defends stepdad as 95 percent dad and urges to let it go.

Teen calls out stepdad for ignoring him while mom defends him as 95 percent dad in family dynamics conflict.

Text excerpt about teen feeling ignored by stepdad during family bonding trips, highlighting strained stepdad relationship.

Teen and stepdad fishing together on dock by lake under cloudy sky, highlighting stepdad and teen family tension.

Image credits: Ron Lach (not the actual image)

Teen calls out stepdad for ignoring him while mom says he’s mostly a dad and urges to let it go and accept feelings.

Alt text: Teen calls out stepdad for ignoring him and struggles with the definition of dad in a difficult family dynamic.

Teen calls out stepdad for ignoring him, mom insists he’s mostly dad and urges to let the issue go peacefully.

Teen and stepdad having tense dinner conversation while mom listens, highlighting stepdad and teen family conflict.

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual image)

Text discussing a teen confronting his stepdad for ignoring him while his mom says stepdad is 95% like a dad.

Image credits: Contkad851

Favoritism can damage kids’ self-esteem and stick with them for years

Blended families are rarely easy. Even on paper, the task is as difficult as it sounds: you’re taking two families with their own routines, personalities, and histories, putting them under one roof, and hoping everyone clicks. That’s a lot to ask. Every small habit can become a big deal, and every awkward moment can feel personal.

Because it’s not just one relationship that needs work. Stepchildren are expected to accept a stepparent who can feel like a stranger, not quite a parent. Stepparents are expected to show up with patience and care for kids they’re still learning how to love. Stepsiblings have to figure out their own place in the new hierarchy, sometimes while grieving the old one. It’s a tightrope, and it’s normal for people to wobble.

The difference is, adults don’t get to pretend they’re just along for the ride. They’re the ones with the most responsibility, because that’s what comes with being an adult. They set the rules and the emotional temperature of the home. Which brings us back to the story above: can that be said for the stepdad here?

If you read any advice on blending a family, favoritism is one of the biggest “don’t do this” warnings. And it’s not hard to see why. Joining a new family as a child already comes with a fear that you’ll be the outsider. Watching someone else get the attention and comfort you’re craving is a fast track to hurt.

“I love my half-brother, but it was so hurtful to see how his needs seemed to be prioritized over mine,” Finlay, 31, whose father got together with his stepmother when he was 10, told The Times. “They would go on holiday and not invite me; I was discouraged from staying over; and the few times I was allowed to stay with them, I was asked to make up and strip my bed and bring my own towels. I felt like a second-class citizen.”

That’s the part people underestimate. There’s way more to favoritism than being the butt of a joke, or someone saying, “Haha, guess who the favorite is in this family.” It can teach a kid that love is something they have to earn or compete for.

Studies have linked favoritism to lower self-esteem, higher depressive symptoms, and more problematic behavior for kids who feel like they’re always getting the short end of the stick. Not exactly a nice goody bag to walk away with. No wonder the author of the story above eventually snapped.

In blended families, it takes real effort to make everyone feel safe and welcome

So what does “doing it right” actually look like?

For one, stepparents need to actually step up. In a blended family “all the relationships need conscious time and attention in order to work”, Katherine Walker is a psychotherapist, couples therapist and blended family coach whose new book, Step Up, told The Times.

That’s true whether the kids are with you full-time or just on weekends. And it matters even more when a couple has more children together. The kids, “for however much of the time they’re in your house, deserve to feel safe and welcome,” Walker said.

There are different approaches stepparents can take to make stepkids feel included. Verywell Mind suggests starting with simple connection points, like finding mutual interests everyone genuinely enjoys and doing them regularly. It also helps to create shared traditions, meaning new routines the whole family can take part in, so no one feels like a guest in their own home.

Communication matters too. Try to keep conversations constructive, and aim for an environment where family members can share thoughts and concerns without worrying they’ll be judged or shut down. And when conflict happens, because it probably will at some point, focus on handling it in a healthy way. That can mean teaching kids how to cool off, talk through disagreements, and express emotions without turning the situation into a fight.

And of course, it takes time. Under the best conditions, it may take two to four years for a new stepfamily to adjust to living together, according to the APA. But when everyone puts in the effort, it really can grow into a happy, harmonious family.

Readers overwhelmingly agreed the teen wasn’t at fault, and the stepfather was

Screenshot of an online discussion where a teen calls out stepdad for ignoring him, sharing feelings about adoption and family dynamics.

Screenshot of an online conversation about a teen calling out stepdad for ignoring him with mom saying he is 95% dad.

Reddit user discusses teen calling out stepdad for ignoring him and mom defending him as 95 percent dad in family conflict.

Teen calls out stepdad for ignoring him as mom defends stepdad’s role and urges to let the situation go.

Comment from Reddit user explaining teen calls out stepdad for ignoring him while mom claims he’s 95% dad and to let it go.

Teen calls out stepdad for ignoring him while mom claims he’s nearly like a dad and advises to let it go.

Teen calls out stepdad for ignoring him while mom defends saying he’s mostly like a dad in family conflict discussion.

Reddit comment calls out stepdad for ignoring teen as mom claims he’s 95 percent dad in family dispute discussion.

Comment discussing teen calls out stepdad for ignoring him and mom saying he’s 95% dad with family conflict advice.

Reddit comment discussing teen calling out stepdad for ignoring him and mom saying he’s 95 percent dad and to let it go.

Alt text: Reddit comment calling out stepdad for ignoring teen and criticizing mom for condoning behavior in family conflict.

Screenshot of a forum comment discussing teen calls out stepdad for ignoring him and family dynamics.

Teen emotionally calls out stepdad for neglect while mom claims he is like a dad, sparking family conflict and feelings of rejection.

Screenshot of an online comment where a user responds to a teen calling out stepdad for ignoring him.

Alt text: Text post discussing teen feeling ignored by stepdad and family boundaries in a complicated family dynamic.

Reddit comment criticizing mom and stepdad for ignoring teen and questioning stepdad’s role as a father figure.

Comment criticizing stepdad ignoring teen and mom defending him as almost a dad in an online forum discussion.

Comment from user expressing sympathy for teen calling out stepdad and criticizing mom as enabler in family conflict.

Comment discussing a teen calling out stepdad for ignoring him and mom claiming he’s 95% dad.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing a teen calling out stepdad for ignoring him and the mom's response.

Commenter responding to teen calling out stepdad for ignoring him, with mom defending stepdad as 95% dad.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a teen calling out stepdad for ignoring him and mom's response.

Screenshot of an online comment where a teen calls out stepdad for ignoring him, with mom defending stepdad’s role.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a teen calling out stepdad for ignoring him with a mom saying he is 95 percent dad.

Comment text on a social media post where a teen calls out stepdad for ignoring him, and mom defends the stepdad.

Screenshot of a forum comment discussing a teen calling out stepdad for ignoring him and family dynamics advice.

Comment discussing a teen calling out stepdad for ignoring him and the mom saying he’s mostly like a dad.

Comment from a teen calling out stepdad for ignoring him, with mom saying he is 95 percent dad and to move on.

Screenshot of a forum comment discussing a teen calling out stepdad for ignoring him and family conflict perspective.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a teen calling out stepdad for ignoring him and family tension.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing a teen calling out stepdad and mom saying he’s like a dad.

Comment discussing a teen calling out stepdad for ignoring him and mom defending him as 95% dad.

Teen calls out stepdad for ignoring him while mom insists he’s almost like a dad and urges to let it go.

Alt text: Teen calls out stepdad for ignoring him while mom defends stepdad as almost like a dad in family conflict.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment debating a teen calling out stepdad for ignoring him with mom defending and saying hes 95 percent dad.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment supporting a teen calling out stepdad for ignoring him, discussing family tensions.

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