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“Looks Like Jesus Won This One”: 83 Boneheaded Comments That Still Haunt People To This Day
In the golden age of misinformation, it's not surprising to hear people say questionable things. Ignorance seems to be in abundance these days, and each day online might just confirm that civilization's collective IQ is going down fast. How else could we explain the fact that 7% of Americans believe that chocolate milk actually comes from brown cows?
People can think all kinds of ridiculous stuff, but some actually say it out loud. That's how they end up on lists like these, where we chuckle at and shame people for their ignorance. These gems come to you from one online thread, where one netizen asked: "What's the stupidest thing you've ever heard someone say that you still think about to this day?" If you've heard some dumb statements lately too, don't forget to share them with us in the comments!
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#1
"I don't worry about the price of gas going up, it doesn't affect me because I only ever put $20 in at a time".
Con O Cuinn 31 minutes ago
This is an old joke and by taking it seriously, you are showing yourself to be the moron
RELATED:
#2
When I was in the Army I know someone who got charged with polygamy because he thought getting married in one state cancelled out getting married in another. So he turned the paperwork directly into HQ so his new wife could start getting the benefits. He didn't tell his peers because he was afraid of getting made fun of, which he was alot when he was on extra duty and because he was a horrible human being.
DeviousOtter 1 hour ago
I’ve noticed how many of these drop an indication the comments are coming from the states… if the shoe fits!
#3
Once heard someone say the earth is flat, still blows my mind.
Brian Droste 55 minutes ago
Last year one time I was getting my haircut. I was a few chairs down from another customer. She was talking about how the earth was flat.
#4
My co-worker said he drinks an energy drink late at night so he can feel energized in the morning. My other coworker asked him “Doesn’t that make it difficult to go to sleep?” To which my Energy Drink co-worker took a second to think about it and responded “Actually, now that you mention it…”.
BrunoVI 58 minutes ago (edited)
Oddly enough, caffeine doesn't necessarily make it difficult for you to sleep. It may block chemicals that act as sleep cues, and may affect how restful your sleep is, but this doesn't mean it necessarily makes it hard to sleep. On the other hand, consuming a ton of calories including milk fat and sugar can. Meanwhile, other energy-drink ingredients, such as taurine, niacin, and Vitamins B6 and B12 can actually help you sleep. The key is that these chemicals allow you to stay up OR sleep. (L-Carnitine is the one energy-drink component that it is more likely to keep you up than help you sleep.)
#5
She said the moon is a hologram that aliens just project into our night sky for... reasons?
No, she could not explain tides.
#6
I remember being in high school in Georgia(US state) and two girls were arguing if Iowa was a country or city and then they were trying to guess where it was located, Asia or Europe… I felt bad for their teachers.
#7
My SIL, god bless her sweet soul, on a trip to the World of Coca Cola in Atlanta, upon seeing that the polar bear mascot would be available for pictures that day.
"So...are they borrowing one from the zoo, or...?"
She was serious and legitimately thought they were going to bring an Apex predator into an enclosed space with children at a soda factory.
#8
To inject bleach in your veins to [destroy] covid.
BrunoVI 36 minutes ago
For the record, in context, he was plainly referring to using light to "disinfect" viral infection. Then he asked if somehow you could use injections to "disinfect" blood. This is a clumsy, extemporaneous use of "disinfect," but he certainly never suggested injecting bleach into your veins.
#10
My ex girlfriend thought Michigan was one of the seven continents.
#11
Knew a guy who thought he smelled gas under a car we were having trouble with. We had all gotten out. All he said was, “Smells like gas.” He didn’t have a flashlight to get a good look under the car so he pulled out his lighter and lit it. Whoosh! Turns out it WAS gasoline and he had just lit the car on fire. None of us understood why he needed to see the gas to verify if it was in fact gas. We were all dumbfounded. One of us ran to a nearby house to call the fire station. He still hasn’t lived that one down.
#12
The woman who told me that she signs her signature differently every time so that no one would be able to forge it. Like... I didn't have the heart to explain to her why that was counterproductive.
#13
I had a woman working for me that was really religious and said they've never found fossils in the Grand Canyon so that proves evolution isn't real. When I showed her proof that they had, in fact, found fossils in the Grand Canyon, she said, "Well, those were just planted there to confuse people". Then, as she turned away said "Looks like Jesus won this one". I couldn't respond. You just can't fight blind ignorance.
#14
Long before cell phones were a thing. A friend asked me how I had such a good sense of direction. I said "Easy, sun rises in the east and sets in the west." He responded "Since when?".
#15
To this day, I often hear people say that they can’t make more money because it would bump them into a higher tax bracket, and they’d actually make less.
It gets infuriating trying to explain that you are only taxed at the higher rate past the threshold. I gave up and just nod along.
I don’t have the patience for the room temperature IQ crowd.
#16
>My uncle told me the reason California has so many gays is because during the gold rush the men spent so much time down in the mines they turned gay.
Someone actually said that to me in Arizona.
>Is New Mexico a state or a country?
My uncle has a PhD and told me that in 2016.
>You know how black holes don't conduct electricity, and how rubber doesn't conduct electricity? Could black holes be made out of rubber?
Some dude heard my classmates and I discussing our physics classes (physics majors) and decided to bounce his theory off of us.
>You're studying physics, right? I had this crazy dream and I was hoping you could tell me what it meant.
An old high school friend confused physics with psychics.
#17
A coworker a couple of weeks ago…
“I’m sick of this country (united states). I don’t belong here. I’m going to move to Alaska”.
#18
That women have heartburn during pregnancy because the baby’s hairs get caught in their esophagus.
DeviousOtter 1 hour ago
My baby was born with a huge mop of hair and I had terrible heartburn. Whilst it’s obviously nonsense for the hair to be anywhere near to the oesophagus, a small study from John Hopkins Univeristy found that high oestrogen and progesterone levels could cause both factors, as they relax the oesophageal sphincter causing stomach acid to travel up and also appear to determine baby hair growth in womb. But of course lots of people have one without the other!
#19
A coworker once said she wanted to move to Italy. Another coworker mentioned she wouldn’t be able to watch TV since it would all be in Italian. First coworker responded that she would just bring her TV from home.
#20
I am an identical twin. My sister and I are also both gay. We are at a bar with our girlfriends. Clearly together. Guy walks up. Says, oh your twins! Cool! Then he points at me and says “So, what’s your birthday?” I tell him. Then he points at my sister and says, and what’s YOUR birthday?” He then asked, so, did you realize you were gay from making out with your sister? I was gobsmacked. I said “Idk, did you realize you were straight from making out with YOURS?”
#21
I recently moved into a new neighborhood. Out of the dozen houses with pets around, only one family leaves their dog out to bark at every leaf that blows by. One day, I saw the owners outside and went to introduce myself, and just see if they could do something about the barking aimed directly at my bedroom windows starting at 6 AM. After a bit of a chat, the guy said "I'm surprised to hear the barking bugs people. I've had neighbors tell me that they appreciate it, because "It keeps the neighborhood honest"". In my head, all I could hear was David Rose saying "That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard". Yea man, people prefer your dog's constant barking over the usual peace and quiet.
#22
I spent the first 10 years of my life in warm, sunny places, and was always outside. I am naturally a bit tan for a white person, and when I was a kid I was Latina dark because I was ALWAYS IN THE SUN.
I moved to Texas in 5th grade and a TEACHER accused me of lying about being white… until I brought in a picture of my parents. Then she accused me of being adopted. Like, can’t a little white girl who just moved from HAWAII just be TAN???
#23
Just last week a bloke at the market told me confidently that:
- The earth is flat
- Our atmosphere ends 73 miles up (edit: he also stated that the atmosphere was a solid dome)
- The sun is only 50 miles away
- The Hiroshima [attack] wasn’t real
His only source? The Bible, and “*they* say it but it doesn’t *sound* real”.
BrunoVI 14 minutes ago
None of these things is in the Bible by the way. Well, you could take "the four corners of the Earth" to mean that the Earth is a flat rectangle, but "corners" is really a problematic translation of "kanaph" which literally means "extremes" or "wings," referring to the four cardinal directions. (Curiosity: Why is it so common to think of *four* directions. Why not six? You actually only need three directions to describe a direction.)
#24
I had a coworker once tell me that he thinks gender neutral bathrooms are a conspiracy by gay men to see women [undressed].
My other coworker and I tried to help him realize the error there but he couldn't grasp it.
#25
A girl I used to work with was on the phone and had to spell her last name. She said “P as in person, A as in apple, L as in elephant…” You could tell the person on the other end was confused because she started again. “P as in person, A as in Apple, L as in elephant…”.
#26
I remember years ago being in the kitchen with the smartest guy in our small company (he's now gone on to startup his own multi million tech firm), he was making a client a cup of black coffee while putting small amounts of milk in it.
He finally stopped and said "that is as black as I can make it" which is where I asked what he was doing.
I then explained to him black coffee was without milk, he didn't believe me so went and asked the client, fortunately he had the sense to strategically ask rather than looking more of an idiot.
#27
My mother had 2 girls after having an ovary removed and had a boy 10 years before. Someone commented 'They must have removed the boy ovary!' LOl that's not how biology works.
#28
Lass I used to live with shouted me into the kitchen. When I got there she was looking out the window and said "there's a beautiful sunset this morning".
#29
A guy friend I have asked me if I had a uterus- he was being serious. I was having very bad cramps that day related to that time of the month so yes, I do have a uterus.
#30
In third grade I got the first grade of 0 I’d ever received in my life. It was on a test where we had to circle any word that ended in an “r” sound (with a picture of a race car revving its engine for reference). I went up to the teacher, fighting back tears, and asked what I did wrong. She explained how I got all the words wrong by saying them out loud, such as:
Color
River
Better
Father
Mother
She vehemently insisted that these words all ended in an “ah” sound and would not back down.
Yes, I am from Massachusetts. No, I will never, ever stop being angry about this injustice.
#31
Freshman college government class, a girl actually said that people chose homelessness because "if they didn't want to be homeless they could just get jobs".
Or there's the woman who thought London was a country and Rome was the capital of France.
ETA: or the girl in my high school who insisted that ALL religions are based on Christianity and that it's the oldest religion, so obviously Christianity is the only correct religion.
#32
Trees make the wind. When they move their leaves, it starts to blow.
#33
I know someone who claims that emissions from cars, planes, and other polluting sources are GOOD for the environment. Something about how plants need as much carbon dioxide as possible to make the world greener.
From what I found out later, this was based partly on an actual study, but only if you read only half of it and ignore the other half (i.e. the "yes, BUT..." half of the research results).
This claim has also been exploited by oil and gas companies to justify their actions.
BrunoVI 23 minutes ago
This is an issue of U.S. law. See, the federal government granted the Environmental Protection Agency the authority to regulate "pollutants." The Biden and Obama administrations tried to use the EPA to regulate carbon dioxide emissions, but the Trump administration has successfully argued that since CO2 isn't harmful to life, it isn't a "pollutant." The "yes, BUT" half argues the economic harm that global warming would create, but doesn't negate the fact that CO2 is NOT a "pollutant."
#34
Single family housing in Southern California will become affordable if they wait long enough is something I keep on hearing over and over. Even if it somehow crashes like in 08 that assumes that they will be in an advantageous position to buy. This is coming from very smart people and understanding of economics but on this subject they seem to throw it out the window.
#35
We were watching the Leonardo DiCaprio adaptation of Romeo and Juliet in the English class that I teach. Before we started, I explained what an adaptation is and the whole activity was for them to compare and contrast the play (which we had just finished reading) with the film. On the second day of watching, one student sits up and blunts out:
"wait is that Leonardo DiCaprio?!"
I said yes.
I can see the gears trying to turn inside his head. Surprised smoke wasn't coming out of his ears. After a second of what can only be described as 'thinking' he said "How is that possible?"
I said, "What do you mean?"
He looked super confused and proclaimed, "I thought you said the play was written in the 1500s?"
I was flabbergasted. Not sure where to begin, I tried to explain. When I said this movie was filmed in the 90s and is a modern adaptation of the play he said:
"But it was written in the 1500s, how is that possible?"
...
He was serious.
There is so much to unpack here. Turns out he had never considered how movies work. He was confused that it was Leonardo DiCaprio and not Romeo, and that Leo was still alive after being in the play in the 1500s. It wasn't the guns, cars, helicopters, and tvs that revealed this to him, although he confessed that was confusing him as well (but only after I pointed it out, he hadn't noticed before). He couldn't wrap his "mind" around how something could be written in the past, and then made into a movie hundreds of years later. He didn't know the play was fiction, and he thought the movie was the actual events being filmed.
When I tried to explain, I realized this kid was SO stupid there wasn't even a place to begin. Does he realize movies are fake? Does he think all movies are just real events? Does he know the middle ages didn't have electricity/cars/helicopters? How old does he think Leo is? Was this his first ever thought?
#36
I'm sure there are many truly more stupid things I've heard, but one that stood out came from an adjudicator at a Middle School "brain bowl" competition. He asked the audience what the lowest possible temperature was in Kelvin, and I said 0 (i.e. absolute zero). The adjudicator just kind of chuckled and shook his head and said that, no, the answer is -273. I clarified and said oh did you mean Celsius and not Kelvin, but no, he was just confidently incorrect and very smugly told us to look it up ourselves.
#37
So the interaction started interesting: my 18 year old employee was asking about Polish traditions that got handed down in my family. I replied that my Polish great grandfather married an Austrian and everything got mixed and diluted.
“Austria? You mean Australia?”
“No, Austria. It’s a country in Europe where they speak German. Where Arnold Schwarzenegger is from -“
“WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?”
(Mind you, there’s also a customer standing 10 feet away who is now cracking up).
Boss starts listing off movies…Terminator, Kindergarten Cop, Jingle all the Way, nothing rings a bell. So he googles a picture and the first thing that pops up is the Mr. Olympia picture.
“Oh, so it’s because that’s what she used to look like?” (Pointing to me, I did a Bikini competition 10 years ago).
So in short, she didn’t kow Austria was a country, thought Arnold Schwarzenegger was something offensive and her takeaway was something about bodybuilding. The boss now asks all new hires if they know who Arnold Schwarzenegger is.
#38
Maybe only funny at the time. In the 90s my son had spend the night company. Rented Jurassic Park. The kid said, in all seriousness, "you know they didn't use real dinosaurs ". We still bring it up when we need a laugh.
#39
"I don't want cooked shrimp. I want pre-cooked shrimp" A white blonde native english speaking woman in her 30s came to me at Wegmans with a recipe card in her that called for pre cooked shrimp.
#40
She once said sleep is just a suggestion.. like I still think about it every time I’m exhausted.
#41
My ex thought that everything had a 50% probability of happening because it either happened or it didn’t happen. This person was in charge of company financials.
#42
Rivers only run from north to south (because it could only flow from the top of the map to the bottom).
BrunoVI 42 minutes ago
Fun fact: Only one major river in America flows from the South to the North: The Saint John's River in Florida. Supposedly. I'd think that the San Joaquin in California, the New River in West Virginia, and the Monongahela River should qualify, but maybe these don't count because they're tributaries?
#43
My FIL once said, "I don't know why Taco Bell is supposed to be bad for you. It's got lettuce on it".
I politely laughed at the lame joke.
He was not joking...
#44
"Man...ya know...we should do something epic this summer you guys...im serious...like something crazy...what if we take a bus or rent one somewhere and we just take off and drive to Europe."
(Nervous chuckling from a few of us...quizical looks from others)
"No guys im serious...think about it...how often do you hear about guys our age doing that?!"
This occurred almost 30yrs ago in college in the US. He was an education major.
#45
Girl in high school with me once asked “Is Barack Obama the President of the United States OR America?”
I’ll never forget the look on the teacher’s face.
#46
I was working for a state service (MI) that helps unemployed folks with kids who are receiving state support to find new jobs. Most gave it appropriate effort, some just hung around to make sure the state kept the support coming. One day, prior to a seminar I was giving, one young lady announced to her friends, "You can't pick your baby's daddy!" It was all I could do to not jump in the middle of that group and scream, "Yes you can!" That was around 2001 and sticks in my brain to this day.
#47
My coworker once told me she doesn't eat at restaurants that have been open less than a year because "the food hasn't had time to develop flavor yet." i think about it at least once a week.
#48
In Athens in 2001, near the Acropolis, an American tourist was trying to buy camera film from a local vendor who spoke very little English.
He said the price was 800 drachma, which was I think a little over $2 US at the time.
She was like "800 DOLLARS?"
He tried to explain that he used drachma, and she was like "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T TAKE DOLLARS!?"
Like most if not all of the negative stereotypes of American tourists rolled into one person. Including getting louder and louder when not understood.
#49
My ex said to me if gravity ceased to exist we’d fall into Australia….. yeah, I had the same reaction as you just did reading this.
#51
I had a woman that I used to work with that didnt realise that Fiji was a seperate country to Australia and you needed a passport for it. She was under the impression you needed a passport for visiting countries in the northern hemisphere only. Anything else in the southern hemisphere was fine.
#52
Waiting in line to donate plasma and a girl said I wish we could just do this from home like on our phone. Yeah she wanted to donate body fluids by mobile phone.
#53
In middle a teacher said giraffes grew long necks because the adults would stretch their necks during their lives and that babies would inherit the necks, basically physical changes to one individual in one life span pass to the offspring. When I corrected her that's it's gradual process over generations she said I was wrong, so I asked if two people with tattooes had a child would the child inherit the tattoos, she said it's possible.
I just stopped talking after that and she smiled like she won.
#54
In highschool a guy I know was convinced that if it was June in america it was December in South america. Not that the seasons were flipped he genuinely thought the months were different. Guy was one of the dumbest people I know, ended up being a J6er which is the least suprising thing ever.
#55
Over lunch a coworker said she saw on FB that today and today only, if you subtract your birth year from the current year, you'll get you age. Magic!
#56
Don't remember what prompted this comment from me, but I said jokingly to a young coworker:
"Im gonna get you a thesaurus for your birthday."
He said, very serious, "No please dont. I dont like dinosaurs at all. Im too old for that."
I think my brain exploded infinitely as he walked away.
#57
My boss hired my assistant because he was good at kissing up, despite my protest that he was dumb as a bag of wet mice.
One day he looked at me and asked: "One quarter, and one quarter, and one quarter, and one quarter, how much is that?"
I finally got to fire him a month or two later when he came to work tripping and couldn't figure out how to get out of the bathroom stall.
#58
My friend told me one time that she thought the reason people couldn’t have monkeys as pets is bacause it would be too easy to teach them to steal. What do you even say to that? Maybe?
#59
A girl at my high school decided the best way to show her parents she was responsible and thinking about her future was to let her 20-something boyfriend with 2 or 3 other baby mommas knock her up "Because babies *are* our future!"
#60
Stupid funny, but my sister applied for a job one time that asked her to pick a word to describe herself and chose the word OMINOUS.
#61
A colleague once got caught sharing a secret they’d been entrusted with and said, completely serious:
“What’s the point of a secret if I can’t tell anyone?”
I just stood there like… O.o … then… o.O … and decided that was the day logic officially resigned.
I was speechless. Still am, actually.
#62
1. "I can't believe someone remade that lame Vanilla Ice song!"
Teenager at the grocery store when "Under Pressure" came over the sound system.
2. A cashier in Arizona called her manager and tried to keep my ID stating "New Hampshire is not a real place."
#64
I was sitting in an opticians and there was an oldish couple sat next to me waiting for an eye test.
Outside the eye test room was the machine that tests for glaucoma, the one that blows gently in to your eyes.
The guy said to his wife that he’s not going on that machine because that one makes you short sighted, then you go in that other room and they tell you that you need glasses.
As a footnote, when I was leaving the store I walked past them, he was wearing and asking his wife’s opinion of the biggest pair of glasses I’ve seen in my life.
#66
A guy once told me that plants and animals have scientific names in Latin because people from ancient Rome went around the entire planet naming stuff.
#68
Guy said the Space Station was fake. You know you can go outside and watch it fly over with your own eyes, right? So I wasn't surprised when he said the moon landings were fake, Fibromyalgia is fake etc...
#69
After the fire at Notre Dame cathedral, a coworker said:
It's so sad to see millions of years of history just go up in flames like that...
A second coworker said:
You mean thousands... But you're right...
I just asked them why they thought the cathedral was built long before Christ was born.
#70
One of my friends was going to light a bonfire directly with a can of gas. When I said thats a pretty stupid idea, he said "Dont worry, I'm OSHA certified", and proceeded to light the bonfire and the gas can spigot on fire. He did manage to throw the flaming can into the nearby lake to extinguish it...after lighting half the grass on fire waving it around. I'm still not sure how he managed to not get burned or burn anyone else.
#71
One day, as we were walking back to office after lunch, my co-worker presses the pedestrian button at a traffic light. He immediately proceeds to use the same finger to dig his nose.
I told him, hey that's disgusting. You don't know what germs linger on that button surface since it's been touched by thousands of people.
He looks at me, shrugs and says - "I don't see anything with my eye so there's nothing on it!".
Con O Cuinn 5 minutes ago
Again, OP is taking this too literally. I very much doubt he actually believed that, he just didn't care
#72
I worked as a vendor at a Wachovia Bank. It was a fairly popular bank with a bunch of locations. It was bought out and they were merging with a much larger bank. A teller was talking to coworkers and said she felt bad for Mr. Wachovia because he was losing his bank. She was genuinely confused when her coworkers tried to explain to her what a corporation was, and how she currently worked for one.
#73
A guy who was trying to get my friend to go home with him, in response to her saying something like ew, no, how do I know you don’t have some disease (because this guy was with a different girl every minutes):
“Nah, girl, it’s cool. I’m clean. I mean I only had the AIDS once but not no more”.
I have never forgotten this and not just because of the glaringly bad grammar.
While I’m aware there are great treatments for HIV which stop full blown AIDS from happening, I’m unaware of any treatment that would cause “the AIDS” to just go away. Especially not in the early 90s.
#74
I asked for an iced coffee (it was listed on the menu) at a small local coffee chain and the girl taking my order said "but if I put ice in the coffee, it will melt" and I think about her sometimes.
#75
Having lunch with a couple friends of mine. One from England the other from the Midwest usa. The Midwest friend casually asks the Englishman what's it like to hear someone talk with no accent. As if Midwest America was the pinnacle of the world and everything centered from there.
#77
I've had conversations with 3 people who don't understand why printing more money wouldn't solve the federal deficit.
#78
While working in a copy shop I actually had a customer ask for double sided transparencies. I thought he was joking because that was a prank we pulled on new employees over the phone. Nope. He was serious.
#79
Someone in work, a long time ago, said that dogs bring lightning into a house during a thunderstorm.
#80
Women aren’t supposed to work they are supposed to stay at home and take care of their parents forever and they don’t need to marry either or remarry after their first husband [passes away]. My late mom said these things.
#83
I was out to dinner once, about 10 years ago, at a reasonably fancy place in the US Southeast, near the gulf coast. Think "Old South"; white table cloths, candles, magnolia flowers...that sort of place. Sat at the table next to me was a young couple who were clearly on a date. If it weren't their first date, it seemed things were still very early in the courtship.
On the menu was a chicken dish listed as "Cajun Chicken". One of the young couple ordered this as their meal when suddenly the other chirped condescendingly, "Uh, haha, no honey. It's "Cay-hoon" Chicken. The J makes an H sound, like 'jalapeno'."
I nearly choked.
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