The Covid pandemic brought us lots of things... Misery, loneliness, lockdowns, remote work, and a whole bunch of bizarre baby names. Quarantina, Pandemica, Virusandra, Mia Corona, Covidleigh, and Zeneca are among some of the strangest names that no ever child asked for but got anyway.
This ridiculous trend of giving offspring offbeat names seems to have started long before 2020. Some thought Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin had consciously malfunctioned when they called their firstborn Apple in 2004. A few more celebrities jumped on the bandwagon. Then Elon Musk came along and said, "Hold my Tesla," before naming his son X Æ A-12.
We thought we'd heard it all but it seems some parents can't stop. Won't stop. Someone asked, "What’s a name of a child that proves that the parents aren’t serious people?" and we could've sworn the world had lost its marbles. From U-R-H-Y-N-E-Z (proudly pronounced 'Your Highness!'), to Random (who has a younger brother named Extra), it's probably safe to say that more than a few name changes might be happening sometime in the future.
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Naming your daughter Princess just screams “pregnant in high school” to me
What happened to the good old days of Peter, John, Mary And Jane? Sometimes it seems as if some parents are competing for a gold star on the World's Walk of Shameful Names.
The fact that they think their children are going to glamorously glide through life sporting a name like Random, Extra, Pandemica, Bimbo or Rope makes us feel like their baby-naming rights might need to be revoked.
Unconventional, unique and plain ridiculous names can set a child up for a lifetime of teasing, mockery and jokes. Not to mention the administrative chaos that could come from strange spellings or bizarre characters. Official legal documents, passports, birth certificates, and flight tickets can all get lost in translation, so to speak.
Kviiilin. Pronounced Kaitlin. Parents used the Roman numerals for 8 in place of the ‘ait’ in the name.
And yes, it’s true.
Renesmee
yeah, yeah, once we get those grapes out of your mouth we will release you
Some parents go for offbeat names to ensure that their kids stand out and don't just blend into the crowd. Others, it seems, do it simply to be funny. Either way, they clearly don't realize how damaging a bizarre name can potentially be for their offspring.
In 2024, the BBC reported that studies had found that men with uncommon first names were more likely to drop out of school and be lonely later in life. "One study, found that psychiatric patients with more unusual names tended to be more disturbed," added the media outlet.
X Æ A-Xii, Exa Dark Sideræl, Techno "Tau" Mechanicus, etc... oh wait these just prove he's a comic book villain.
what a loser. the Tau and the Imperium are bitter enemies, thats like calling a kid Adolf Weinstein.
I work with a lady named Tappy. Also, a few years ago, I came across a name while working (insurance industry) King Money III. The third!!!! There’s three of these jokers?
I work with a woman named Sunshine. She has two sisters named Rainbow and Delight and one brother named Gerald.
Gerald got lucky, maybe by the 4th child his parents learned their lesson.
But a bizarre name doesn't always have to spell disaster. One expert says that being bullied, teased or mocked because of your name can actually lead to better impulse control.
"They actually benefit from that experience by learning to control their emotions or their impulses, which is of course a great skill for success," argues Dalton Conley, a sociologist at New York University and the author of Parentology: Everything You Wanted to Know about the Science of Raising Children.
Conley himself has come under attack for naming his daughter E.... (yes, that's it. That's the full name).
Naming your baby Khalessi (Game of Thrones)
Uh, spoiler alert! The name was cool, until it wasn't. ☠️
I worked in a doctor’s office and had to call a patient into the exam room. Her name was September. I said “You should have been here last week. We had a patient named February.”
She replied that’s my sister. My mother liked calendars. 📅 🥺
I have a cousin named "Bimbo". I thought it was just a nickname, but it's his real government name. 😭
Conley says he and his wife were in the process of choosing a name for their baby when she was born two months premature.
"We had narrowed down the selections to a bunch of E- names, but we couldn't ultimately decide," he explained. "Then we came up with the idea of, 'Let's just constrain the first degree of freedom. Let's just give her the first letter and then she can decide when she's old enough what it stands for.'"
E, now an adult, rolled with the punches. "I think once you're given a name, you get used to it - it's part of you," she told the BBC.
I’ve got you all beat. Working as a Peds RN, ER calls for an admission to the floor. Nurse spells out kids name for me. U-r-h-y-n-e-z. Naturally I ask, “how is it pronounced?” She responded mother told her but she can’t remember. Nurse was Filipino, idk if she was just playing and wanted me to hear it for myself. iykyk. So when patient is transferred to floor for admission, I asked mom, “how is your son’s name pronounced?” She replied very matter-of-factly, “Your highness!” Me: “oh, ok” 🫠
I just recently read a head line about a FEDERAL JUDGE named Sparkle! Kind of threw out my argument that I need to name my child something that will be taken seriously in case they choose to run for public office.
I worked at a photography studio in college. A couple came in with their sons: Denim, Suede, and
…
Rope.
If we've learned anything from the names Apple, X Æ A-12, Bimbo or Pandemica, it's that times have certainly changed.
“I think in past generations, parents were much more concerned about their kids’ names fitting in. But in the past 20 years, the focus has been 100% on standing out,” says Laura Wattenberg, founder of the baby-naming site Baby Name Wizard. “Parents are really, really worried about their kids being ordinary.”
I worked in enrollment and this little boy’s name was Navy Seals Jr. JUNIOR! Two generations of straight foolishness 😂🤣
reminds me of a character I made up in a story named Lance Corporal Lance "Corporal" Williams
Precious Shartenay. We think the mom didn’t know how to spell or pronounce Chardonnay.
The "shartenay" is what happens the next day after several bottles of wine...cant fart with confidence
Breezy. My flabber was gasted when I realized it was the child's name and not their dog's.
Wattenberg told Quartz that research has shown that people find familiar, easy-to-pronounce names to be likable and trustworthy. She said that when you hear from a person with a name like Dave or Jen or Mike, “you’re more likely to answer their email, more likely to swipe right on Tinder.”
Yet, more and more parents are throwing caution to the wind, and burning the box when it comes to naming their children. Some believe they're doing their offspring a favor.
“Parents are worried about their kids’ futures and want to carve out shelf space in the marketplace of life,” says Wattenberg. “Some think that standing out with a name will help their kids do that.”
Here in the Philippines, there’s that kid named “Drink Water”. And no, I’m not kidding.
had a kiddo in my pre-k class named Obi-wan (went by Obi). sisters name… Padme!
Twins girls- Abra and Cadabra
Cute for a pair of puppies or kittens, not cute for humans.
In 2023, the UK’s Office for National Statistics revealed that 64,560 unique names were being registered each year. That's twice as many as in 1999. And this year, the US parenting website and app BabyCenter announced that Juniper, Malachi and Emersyn had made it into the top 100 names for the first time ever.
Interestingly, some adults are opting to change their conventional names in order to be more unique.
My mom went to high school with a woman named Ima Rose Bush.
The Guardian reported last year that Rebecca, Thomas, Muhammad and David featured in the top 10 most changed names, swapped out for Liam, Riley, Kayleigh and Remiel. It added that one provider of legal deed polls said that one in six of all applications were from people changing their name to live "more authentically."
Whether you love your name, or hate your name, it's important to remember, in the words of Dr. Seuss: Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!
Queencess. Yes, a mix of queen and princess
"Nevaeh" just name her Heaven
In the NICU there was a baby next to my son named King. I said oh they’re so going to regret that later.
I went to school with a guy named Random who had a younger brother named extra. Their father was later convicted of counterfeiting and undermining US currency market.
I knew a fantastic girl named True False (like the family surname was False and they decided, with absolute impunity, to foist an actual pun upon their daughter as her government name) and she loathed it. LOATHED it.
The Estonian diplomat Mati Maasikas (maasikas being the Estonian word for strawberry) named his first daughter Mari, which is a pretty common variant of the name Maria in Estonia, but it also means "a berry". So she ended up with Berry Strawberry. Weird but ok. Then he updated his game with his next daughter, naming her Aia - that is a really rare and weird name here, meaning "garden". So yeah, his daughters are named Berry Strawberry and Garden Strawberry. Thank heaven he didnt have a third one he could have name Forest Strawberry.
High school teacher. Had a student one year whose first name was
Baby Girl
I kid you not.
That’s what they call her in the hospital before the parents designate a name.
When I was at my college orientation, they showed us a video by an alumna named Cupcake.
My name’s legally London Britton.
I worked with someone called Cheyenne (which if you don't know is a place in America) her sister was called Paris and her brother was Devon. Paris carried on the place name trend her parents started she has a daughter named Vienna I can't remember the names of her other kids names but they are all capital cities.
“Locket Romance”
“Poetry Lucia”
They’re twins, boy/girl, first and middle names, I can’t even with influencers 🤦♀️
You guys will not stop laughing once you see the names registered in the Philippines during covid😫 Ex: Covid Bryant, Quarantina/Quinton, Pandemica, Virusandra, Pippa(PPE), Mia Corona, Covidleigh, McCovyd, Dela Ta(Canned goods), Zoom(online meet), Zeneca(vaccine) etc😭😭😭
Well. Pippa is a perfectly good shortened version of 'Philippa'. As for the rest? Perhaps someone with an understanding of Philippine culture might be able to explain, 'cos I can't.
I know someone named their son Cesar Ian just because he was delivered via cesarean 😫😫
I once taught a Millionaire
Megatron. But in Thailand, there are kids named iPhone, Facebook, IG, Pony, Lemon Sherbet Ice-Cream, New Orleans etc. Sooo… 🤷🏻♀️
We had a trio of sisters at my highschool named “brandy” “tequila” and… any guesses? Beer? Wine? Vodka? Champagne?
All wrong, the third was named “America”
Famous game designer American McGree says his mother decided to call him that because a friend of hers had a daughter named America. He has also more than once hinted at having a traumatic past, hard to imagine why.
Semaj… cause why tf is your named James backwards!?
I know a Rope, a Kash, and a Cash who's last name was Profit
A friend gave his son the legal middle name of Danger.
Watch him turn out to be a nerdy accountant afraid of his own shadow.
In elementary school I knew a peanut, mackie and coco. (Macadamia, coconut) 😅
I went to school with a girl named Neon Skyy. Her sister was Breezi. Her son was Hero Jupiter Exavion.
I know people named their child Covid and Rona. Like whut??????
Rona is an old name and had nothing to do with the virus. Rona Barrett, anyone? Good lord, I just aged myself.
As a teacher I’ve seen a lot of weird names, particularly middle names. My top 3 favorite are Looktwice, T-Rex, and Starrr (her first name also had 3 of the same letter in it: Alexxxis).
I used to work with a girl named Pepsi
In the news here in the Philippines, there were siblings named Macaroni 85 and Spaghetti 88. Not even kidding 😵💫
A'miracle will always be a weird one for me. My mom used to work in the ER and had a rambunctious little girl in the waiting room. Her mother proceeds to yell, "A'miracle, if you don't settle down right now I'm gonna turn you into A'ACCIDENT!".
An ex neighbor named his children Mercedes and Bently. Poor people
Mercedes is a perfectly ordinary Spanish (female) name. Bentley? The cars were named after a Mr Bentley, so - less so, eh?
My previous neighbor named her oldest son "Imagine"... but it is pronounced as "E-mah-zhuh-nay"
I knew somebody in school named Abu. His siblings is named Jasmine and Aladdin. I told him his parents funny as hell to name them after the characters 🤣
Samwise. Don’t come at me I love LOTR too, but it’s a girl. Stahp.
My bro has a friend named Aragorn. When FB first started, you had to use your real name. They made him send a copy of his ID to them because they didn't believe it was his actual name!
Met a set of sisters named ruby, sapphire, and emerald. I dont know if they had more siblings but im really curious now
Sterling, bronze, golden. And their dogs are steel and silver.... the dogs came first.
i used to know someone named rumor. it was their government name
Any “”blank” Jr.”. Like, come up with an original name for the kid. It’s selfish and lazy.
EXACTLY. Pretty sure there are exceptions but when you have a "junior" I automatically assume you're an inflated patriarch who sees the kid as a f@ck trophy / "continuation of your bloodline" instead of a person.
Satchel, like a man purse
My Great neice named her daughters Journey and Dreamer.
I knew someone in high school named apple who had a sister named cherry. Craziest revelation of my young life at the time 😂
Berry names are quite common female names in Finland and some Estonians have them too. I used to play with sisters named Kirsikka (meaning cherry-girl) and Maasikka (meaning strawberry-girl) and then later work with Sinikka (meaning bog bilberry-girl).
A church couple named their daughters Dior and Victoria
"Kheighyam" can't they just do it like Keiam
Actor Jason Lee named his son Pilot Inspector
Frank Zappa named his children, Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan, and Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen.
This coming up right after a post about a baby named Jaxson. There's Jackson. There's Jaxon. And then there's whatever that is. You cannot tell me it's not pronounced jack-sa-son.
I have a friend whose daughter named her son Jax. I hope when he gets older he insists on being “Jack.”
I know someone who named their kids Luna, Sonny, and Rocky. Parents are very unserious.
My cousins (first cousins twice removed) are named Pearl, Thingo and Luna. Their dad is a boring white person, their mom is Zulu. (Thingo is pronounced Ting-orh.) I think the names are lovely.
Worked in registration in PEDS ER and met Lemonjello and Orangello. Pronounced “limahngelo” and “orahngelo”
I know a family that lives in Texas and has 3 sons. Two are named Dallas and Austin. The youngest is Mark.
I'll never forget when I heard the name of a student at the elementary school my girls went to. Her parents named her PRECIOUS. I have for sure heard much worse. But, when it's followed by her last name, BEAVER, I couldn't imagine.
My gf heard me ending a phone call with, "Thanks, Honey. Bye" I had to explain that Honey was my employment services manager's actual name.
I'll never forget when I heard the name of a student at the elementary school my girls went to. Her parents named her PRECIOUS. I have for sure heard much worse. But, when it's followed by her last name, BEAVER, I couldn't imagine.
My gf heard me ending a phone call with, "Thanks, Honey. Bye" I had to explain that Honey was my employment services manager's actual name.
