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At a certain point in life, some things tend to lose their charm. Whether it’s following fashion trends, partying hard, or even hanging out with certain people, just to name a few examples, there comes a time when you realize that you have free will and you don’t have to do these things if you don’t enjoy them.
Members of the ‘Ask Women’ community have recently shared what things they starting noping out of after reaching 30. One user asked them what they stopped pretending to like, and the women compiled quite an extensive list, which you can browse by scrolling down just a little bit.
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#2
Socializing. It was always difficult for me, my “social battery” is extremely short lived. People just drain me, regardless of the setting and situation. I still tried to keep a network of friends and see them on a regular basis, but it was exhausting. After we all naturally drifted apart, I never sought out new friends.
I’m a homebody, with lots of animals, books, and video games. I don’t need anything else, so I’m finally embracing that and thriving.
#4
Books that I'm not enjoying. I used to force myself to read at least half of a book before deciding it's not for me, but who has time to waste on something they're actively disliking?!
#5
Live music at restaurants esp when it’s too loud. If I’m getting it up to go be social I want to chit chat with the people I’m with, not try and shout over what’s going on. (I’m a huge music lover and support artists and love to hear music when it’s the point of going out, but if I’m trying to grab dinner with friends and all of a sudden a guy with an amp starts setting up in the corner I’m upset. this is just something I’m a grump about and totally understand I’m in the minority).
#6
I don't want to be in noisy environments anymore because it gives me a headache. I don't want to communicate with people, I don't want to tell anyone something twice (I don't). My joint pains have increased, I don't feel as energetic as before.
#7
Probably realised this more around 35, but I stopped pretending to enjoy spending time with people I don’t click with 🥲 a lot of my husband’s friends are nice people but they’re not MY people, I feel drained hanging out with them. So I’ll still go every now and then, but I stopped feeling obligated to go for every single event.
#9
Dating! I used to make an effort to go on the apps etc. Took a break because of the pandemic, and then one year I decided it was going to be "the year" where I committed to finding someone; my goal was to go on one date per month.
I went on three dates and was so burnt out after each of them (like would come home and crash on the couch from having to be "on" so much), and finally I realized... why the f**k am I even doing this? I'm enjoying literally nothing about it. And if that means I'm going to be single for the rest of my like... then honestly that is completely fine with me.
#10
Staying for the full duration for social functions. I used to never leave things early unless I had somewhere else to be, and even if I was tired or not feeling it I would still hang around to appear polite.
Now? When I'm not having fun anymore, I peace out. I can get tired and overstimulated pretty easily even among people I enjoy, so now I have no problem calling it a night when I reach that point.
#12
After work functions. I'm a homebody, and I like being with my family more than my colleagues. Having kids means I can get away with saying I've got something on with them and no one thinks I'm being rude.
#13
Passivity, being a 'go with the flow' type of woman. I speak up for myself A LOT more now. I didn't let s**t slide, if stuff bothered me I brought it up, communicated. Just didn't care anymore. Let them think you're difficult, too modern, aggressive, too this, too that. They don't like accountability.
#14
Alcohol! I never enjoyed it nor the effects of it. After 30 I just stopped drinking unless I really wanted one, not because it was the “social” thing.
#17
Being “chill” about things that truly bothers me. I speak up for myself now more than I did when I was younger. Also, SALADS. 🥗 I’m so done with them. I hate them. 😂.
#20
I no longer stay friends with people because of history, or because we have mutual friends. If my friends have a problem with it, I tell them it's okay for their friends to not be friends with each other. I am pretty well done with putting myself last all the time so other people can be happy while I feel absolutely miserable. .
#22
Dressing for others. Or rather, trying to consider what others would think of my outfit. E.g. is it girl weekend friendly? Will this cause some people to think I'm seeking male attention? Is it conservative enough for my SO's family? Is this too tight / too loose, etc.
Now I just wear whatever the f**k I want.
#23
Being guilted into things. As soon as I realize someone is trying to guilt me into buying or doing something, I shut it down and walk away. It’s 100% manipulation.
#25
Attending bigger group events, aside from rare occasions. I’ve learned to say no more often. If I’m not feeling it, I’m not feeling it.
#26
Talking s**t about my body/ talking about losing weight. I used to participate, but now I just ignore the conversation until the topic changes. I got skinny a few years ago- due to depression and stress- and it took me ages to get back to feeling healthy again, which included gaining 10 pounds. I'm trying to like my body thankyouverymuch and I will not participate in this b******t diet culture anymore. I am officially too old for this s**t.
#27
Designer clothes/items, i felt the need to impress other women and didn’t know any other way, when i got over the need for female companionship i found myself staying away from all the pretentious b******t.
#28
Putting up with friend’s who are their own victims. I can’t support the behavior of always needing to be saved when they will go right back to relapsing, not saving money, constantly couch surfing. Let alone how they will treat me after all I’ve done. Yeah. No.
#29
Being nice to people that didn't deserve me. Swallowing insults and disrespect. Being "ok" with things that hurt me to my core. Saying yes when I really don't want to. F**k. You would think I'd have slapped people. I don't deliver these things rudely. Always polite or appropriate. People are SHOCKED when you start saying no.
#30
People. I stopped trying to force being social with other people that i clearly didnt care about and knew that they didnt care about me.
#31
Women's clothes, for the most part. They're too tight or too short, too low cut, the pockets are infinitesimally small (assuming they even exist at all) and there's way too much pink. I'm far more picky about what I'll buy in the women's clothing department these days.
#32
Changing myself to be a certain way for each person.
Finally got a therapist that made me dig into my past and helped me start doing the work.
Im finally starting baby steps to growing into speaking up, not people pleasing and accepting who I am.
#36
Small talk about the weather and other useless c**p with the inlaws.
Also, shopping for clothing. Post children, it's more of a pain in the a*s than an enjoyable experience.
#37
Catch ups with friends who always want to only do what they want to do ie they'll take over and change the venue or time last minute- to purely suit themselves. Nope.
#38
My family dynamics.
I think I was mainly pretending to myself? I dunno? But I just saw more and more how toxic and negative it is, and how it had a bad influence on me. Both in how I was raised and bad habits I picked up/skills I lack, and overall bringing my mood down.
#39
People’s company. I used to force myself to hang out with people who weren’t exactly for me and now I won’t even consider spending time with said people. I want to enjoy the little time I get outside of work and other stuff I have to do.
#40
Friendships that I don’t actually want to be in anymore. I had a few bad friend breakups over the last few years and i realized it had been over long before the plug was pulled. I just didn’t have the courage to pull it myself in the end. It was a service that the other person did for the both of us. I wish them well, but I don’t want to be in their life anymore and I’m sure the feeling is reciprocated.
#42
S*x with men. I realized I was a lesbian and it wasn't that everyone was pretending to be attracted to men, but straight/bi/pan ladies are actually genuinely into men and not just pretending to be polite. I stopped pretending to be attracted to them and started living my best gay life.
#43
Uncomfortable clothes. In my case it's jeans. I've always loved wearing dresses but I forced myself to wear jeans and t-shirt like everyone else to blend in. In school I used to have trouble paying attention because my jeans were digging into my skin and trigger sensory issues. Not to mention I hated how unflattering they look on me. A few years after I graduated from college I realized I never have to wear jeans ever again. I own a single pair of yoga pants and I only wear dresses now.
#44
Talking s**t about people. i used to nod along but now i shut it down. it’s not that there isn’t s**t to be talked, i’m just not interested in doing it. we all generally pick up on the vibes of a person or couple - we don’t really need to discuss in hushed tones.
#45
Friends/friendships that cause/start drama for absolutely no reason other than to be the center of attention, talk s**t about each other behind their backs but are all smiley smiley to their faces, are just fake as heck.
Also, stopped NOT doing things I want to do even if it means doing it alone. I've started going to shows/musicals, book events, city breaks, nights away and weeks away alone if my boyfriend or friends aren't interested.
I've also stopped caring about what people think about me or how I look (I think its more that I have realised that people aren't looking at me and judging me as much as I think they are). .
#46
Bad food, I won’t make a big deal about it and try to respect feelings but if it makes me gag while eating it I’m not about to force it.
#47
Tolerating people pleasers who cater to a******s. I get that they have their reasons but I am so much happier having removed myself from relationships with people who do that.
#51
Late nights out bar-hopping or dancing in clubs. I never liked it but I tolerated it in my early 20's. Once I met my husband who also hates it, I never felt like I had to go anymore just to please my friends. I can't wait until they (hopefully) grow out of it too so not every gathering has to be meeting at a bar at 8pm before migrating to another.
#53
Unpopular opinion-- Friendships with women. Everyone is too busy prioritizing their SO's or their extended families that it all just feels forced. I have come to a point where if I manage to make genuine female friendships then I am fine with it and if not, I can do without it also.
#54
Eating raw almonds as a snack. Like they aren’t even good. I have been kidding myself my whole life.
What do you think ?
BarfyCat 10 months ago
Any standing-room-only concert is out for me. I'm too old for that cr ap!
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BarfyCat 10 months ago
Any standing-room-only concert is out for me. I'm too old for that cr ap!
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