“I Can’t Allow Her To Live With Us”: Man’s Suspicions About Why His Wife’s Dog Went Missing Are Confirmed

A beloved pet going missing is something many owners fear. The hope is that someone finds it and, at worst, adopts it, if not just returns it. But what if this hypothetical third party is one’s relative and they didn’t just “find” a missing pet, they stole it instead.

A man asked the internet for some help when he noticed that his wife’s missing pug had shown up on her sister’s social media. So they decided to investigate and, before you ask, this story even has an update. We also reached out to him via private message and will update the article when he gets back to us.

Confronting family can be stressful

Woman holding a pug dog indoors, illustrating a stolen wife's dog sister in law situation.

Image credits: EyeEm/Freepik (not the actual photo)

So one man asked for advice on what to do when he strongly suspected his SIL had stolen his wife’s dog

Text about sister-in-law stealing wife’s dog, describing missing pug Banjo from backyard in Boise, Idaho.

Alt text: Husband and wife searching for stolen wife's dog, sharing sightings of a wandering pug on social media and flyers.

Text explaining the stolen wife’s dog sister-in-law conflict about the dog sleeping outside in warm weather.

Text excerpt discussing a stolen wife's dog and the sister-in-law's preference for the dog to be inside rather than outside.

Text excerpt about a stolen dog discussing the missing dog incident involving the sister-in-law and the open gate.

Social media post by wife’s sister’s friend showing a new pug before the stolen wife’s dog sister-in-law incident occurred.

Text describing a wife blocked by sister-in-law on social media after stolen dog incident with tense family relations.

Woman sitting on sofa, looking worried and thoughtful, relating to stolen wife's dog and sister-in-law issue.

Image credits: lifestock/Freepik (not the actual photo)

Text about sister-in-law’s friend knowing the dog, relevant to stolen wife’s dog and sister-in-law situation.

Text describing a suspicious sister-in-law acting immaturely, linked to a stolen wife’s dog situation.

Text discussing a stolen wife's dog involving a sister-in-law, planning a stakeout before contacting the police.

Text asking for advice on what to do if sister-in-law has stolen wife’s dog and seeking help with the situation.

Man with beard sitting outdoors looking thoughtful, reflecting on stolen wife’s dog and sister in law situation.

Image credits: EyeEm/Freepik (not the actual photo)

Man expressing concern about stolen wife's dog possibly taken by sister in law, seeking proof before taking action.

Text discussing having multiple pictures and proof to identify stolen wife's dog sister-in-law and finding the missing dog.

Image credits: Lanerinsaner

While all families will have some form of conflict here or there, stealing a pet is a massive red line

Family drama can test even the strongest relationships, but when pets are involved, emotions run especially high. The story of Banjo the pug illustrates how quickly household tensions can escalate into potential legal situations, and it offers valuable lessons about managing conflict when family members cross serious boundaries. Research from the Journal of Family Psychology shows that living with extended family members increases stress levels by approximately 30%, particularly when household rules and values clash. In Banjo’s case, the sister-in-law’s disapproval of outdoor dog housing created simmering resentment that allegedly erupted into action. This pattern is remarkably common: according to a study published in Family Relations, unresolved disagreements about pet care rank among the top ten sources of intergenerational household conflict.

Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)

The immediate instinct when facing suspected theft by a family member is often confrontation, yet the wife’s cautious approach in this story demonstrates wisdom. Direct accusations without evidence can fracture relationships permanently while potentially allowing the accused party to cover their tracks. Instead, documentation becomes crucial. The couple wisely collected screenshots, purchase records, and witness accounts of the social media posts before they disappeared. Family therapist Dr. John Gottman’s research emphasizes that successful conflict resolution requires what he calls “softened startup,” approaching difficult conversations with facts rather than attacks.

The blocking behavior on social media and the sister-in-law’s sudden silence when Banjo is mentioned represent classic signs of deception, according to communication studies from Stanford University, although it doesn’t take a scientist to realize something was off. However, these red flags, while suspicious, still require verification. The stakeout idea, though it sounds dramatic, actually aligns with conflict resolution best practices: gather concrete evidence before escalating the situation.

This approach protects everyone involved, including the sister-in-law, who deserves a fair chance to explain if there’s an innocent explanation. What makes this situation particularly painful is the betrayal of trust within a home. The couple opened their doors to a family member in need, and that generosity was potentially repaid with theft. Research in Psychology Today indicates that betrayal by family members causes deeper emotional wounds than similar actions by strangers because it violates our fundamental expectations of loyalty and safety within kinship bonds.

There might be some steps towards reconciliation, if everyone is willing to be an adult

Moving forward, families in similar situations should consider several steps. First, involve authorities when theft is suspected, even among relatives. Property is property, and pets are considered property legally, regardless of how much we love them as family members. Police reports create official records that can facilitate recovery and establish accountability. Second, set clear boundaries immediately. Whether or not the sister-in-law took Banjo, her living situation needs new ground rules or possibly termination if trust has been destroyed.

Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)

The emotional toll on the wife, who spent a week devastated over her missing pet, highlights another important aspect: self-care during family crises. Studies have shown that pet loss triggers genuine grief comparable to losing a human friend. Supporting a spouse through this experience requires patience, validation of their feelings, and concrete action toward resolution, exactly what the husband appears to be providing. Prevention matters too. Future situations might be avoided through upfront conversations about household expectations, including pet care philosophies. Research published in the Journal of Marriage and Family suggests that families who establish explicit agreements about responsibilities and acceptable behaviors experience 40% fewer serious conflicts.

While the man does later update us on what he does, there are a few takeaways here for anyone in a similar situation. Document everything, seek evidence before confrontation, involve appropriate authorities when laws may have been broken, and recognize that sometimes loving your family means holding them accountable for their actions. Family bonds can survive almost anything with honesty and proper boundaries, but they cannot survive ongoing deception and disrespect. If you want to hear what happens next, read on, the man’s two updates are after the comments we selected below.

People asked some follow-up questions

Reddit advice on handling a possibly stolen dog involving sister-in-law and legal steps for stolen wife's dog sister-in-law case.

Reddit conversation about eviction proceedings involving stolen wife's dog and sister-in-law dispute.

Commenters discussing verification and unique features of a stolen wife’s dog involving sister-in-law’s claims.

Readers shared their thoughts

Comment warning about risks of letting small dogs with breathing issues sleep outside, relevant to stolen wife's dog sister-in-law.

Comment suggesting using sister-in-law or friend to find stolen wife's dog by watching for barking or answering door with a bible.

Screenshot of a comment discussing purebred dog theft, relevant to stolen wife’s dog sister-in-law topics online.

Screenshot of a forum comment advising on paperwork and police involvement when dealing with a stolen wife’s dog issues.

Later, he shared what happened

Text describing a confrontation involving a stolen wife's dog and the sister-in-law’s close friend recording the interaction.

Text with stolen wife’s dog sister in law issue and police confrontation resulting in a slammed door response.

Text describing a wife reporting to police about her stolen dog taken by sister-in-law in a nearby city.

Police call to wife during stolen dog dispute with sister-in-law, who refuses to communicate or acknowledge the dog’s presence.

Text message conversation describing the stolen wife's dog situation involving sister-in-law and police communication.

Woman pointing while talking to two police officers outside, related to stolen wife’s dog and sister-in-law dispute.

Image credits: nomadsoul1/Freepik (not the actual photo)

Person joyfully reunited with stolen wife’s dog after confronting sister-in-law and getting Banjo back safely.

Text on a screen describing the wife’s sister-in-law acting unaware about the stolen dog situation recently uncovered.

Text excerpt about giving eviction notice and recording conversation related to stolen wife's dog sister-in-law conflict.

Text expressing a wife's upset feelings about her sister-in-law betraying them despite generous support given.

Text excerpt expressing frustration about cutting off a sister-in-law after a stolen wife's dog incident.

Text saying thanks everyone for the advice and opinions, related to stolen wife's dog sister in law situation.

He also took his time to respond to some reader comments

Text excerpt discussing a man's perspective on dogs and his wife's love for animals in a stolen wife's dog sister-in-law context.

Text discussing pug sleeping issues outside in an insulated doghouse, related to stolen wife's dog sister-in-law story.

Text excerpt discussing dog care including worming shots and tick treatment in a gated backyard, related to stolen wife's dog sister-in-law.

Text excerpt about making Banjo an inside dog and ensuring vet care, relating to stolen wife's dog sister-in-law situation.

Pug dog lying on a couch looking sad, representing a stolen wife’s dog and sister-in-law conflict.

Image credits: diana.grytsku/Freepik (not the actual photo)

Apology statement about stolen wifes dog sister-in-law addressing pet care and training efforts.

Text describing love and care for dog Banjo, highlighting wife's bond and family happiness after dog returned from sister-in-law.

Alt text: Message expressing gratitude and commitment to being the best dog owners after recovering stolen wife's dog from sister-in-law.

Image credits: Lanerinsaner

Some folks were skeptical

Comment discussing the disbelief over making a pug dog sleep outside despite a stolen wife's dog sister-in-law situation.

Comment discussing confusion about a dog’s outdoor sleeping habits related to stolen wife’s dog sister-in-law situation.

User misscuddlesworth ranting about pet owners failing to research before owning a dog in stolen wife’s dog sister-in-law story.

Comment expressing distrust of dog owners who neglect vet care and dog safety, related to stolen wife's dog sister-in-law story.

Screenshot of an online comment stating everyone involved in the stolen wife’s dog sister in law story is horrible.

Comment discussing sister-in-law and friend’s behavior regarding the stolen wife’s dog in Idaho.

User comment discussing conflicted feelings about sister-in-law stealing wife's dog to protect it from neglectful owners.

Comment about an unfixed pug puppy sleeping outside, relating to stolen wife’s dog and sister-in-law conflict.

Comment on post about stolen wife’s dog and sister-in-law, expressing dislike for all involved and sympathy for the pug.

Comment discussing pug dogs as indoor pets and mentioning dangers outside, related to stolen wife's dog sister in law.

Comment discussing frustrations about stolen wife's dog involving sister-in-law and irresponsible pet care in coyote-prone area.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing the foolishness of stealing a dog, related to stolen wife's dog sister-in-law.

Comment discussing the stolen wife's dog and sister-in-law, criticizing keeping the dog outside.

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