Mom Forces Son To Apologize For Racist Joke To Chinese Delivery Guy Who Already Had It Rough, Dad Doesn’t Like The Punishment
I once stumbled upon an idea by a dad who said that we ought not to view kids as children, but rather as “humans in progress.” And as such, of course they will need to be taught certain things as they grow.
And while there are a slew of methods for teaching kids life lessons, not everyone necessarily agrees on them, especially when said lessons come in the form of punishments.
This 39-year-old mother of two shared a story of how she turned her son’s incredibly racist anecdote into a serious life lesson. Unfortunately, the dad was not too supportive of the punishment, as it “didn’t fit the crime,” prompting a Reddit post for the internet to decide who was wrong here.
More info: Reddit
While parenting is a worthwhile experience, it does come with its challenges, like when you have to teach your kids hard social life lessons
Image credits: byronv2
So, Reddit user u/SnooPaintings9288 approached the r/AmITheA-Hole community with a short story of how she punished her son for an insensitive racist joke and how the dad ended up getting into an argument with her for said punishment.
But, let’s rewind. The family has a cat that loves having a go at their take-out food. It just so happened that they ordered some Chinese food and the courier had just arrived. This was the cue for the daughter to pick up the cat and carry it upstairs.
This mother went to Reddit to figure out if she was harsh with her punishment of her son who said a racist joke
As she was doing so, the Reddit user, i.e. the mother, was at the door, accepting the order. During that time, the 13-year-old son decided to loudly say “make sure [to] hide the cat from the Chinese guy.” Both mom and the courier heard it very clearly, and she saw just how upset the courier got because of it.
One apology later, the mom stormed over to the son, who refused to accept that his joke was extremely insensitive towards the courier. She ended up forcing him to do some atoning in the form of a sincere apology to the delivery guy, and to write a one-page paper on Chinese culture as well as how jokes like his perpetuate racism.
The next day, she took him to the restaurant and had him read the apology. The courier appreciated the gesture and shared some stories of what he goes through as a courier on a daily basis.
Well, later that night, mom and dad got into an argument regarding the punishment. In his eyes, it seemed too much as it was hella embarrassing for the son and that it was “just a joke,” making the mom think she may have overreacted. Hence the post on Reddit.
Image credits: u/SnooPaintings9288
However, the internet was not having any of it—even if it was a joke, comments like that still humiliate and demean not just one person, but an entire group of people. People agreed that the punishment did in fact fit the crime, and should have been extended to the dad too, which some speculated is the reason the son said something like that in the first place.
In any case, the story got quite a bit of attention, garnering nearly 53,000 user upvotes and getting over 200 Reddit awards with 2,600 people voicing their opinion on the matter.
People online showed support, not only cause they thought the punishment fit the crime, but also because it taught a lesson
You can read through the entire post as well as all 2,600 comments if you’re that kind of a person here. But before you go, tell us your thoughts and what you would have done in the comment section below!
62Kviews
Share on FacebookIf "it's just a joke" then why didn't the driver find it funny. Racists always try to excuse themselves with that wafer thin justification.
It’s like I always say. It’s not a joke unless the person finds it funny. (sexist jokes, racist jokes, homophobic jokes etc.)
Load More Replies..."Just a joke", well I guess we get where the son learned it. I'm against "shaming" children, but apologizing for wrong doing is teaching them and the son got to hear from the person about their perspective.
child should be embarassed. what he did was shameful
Load More Replies...Racism is always learned, so you have to break it as soon as possible, or it will stick maybe forever in its head. (i wrote maybe because, some people learn later one, but its more likely, the don't. )
Mouth filters don't work well on young teens. All the more reason to train him to think before he speaks - and then think again. Kid will remember this - which is the POINT of punishments!
Yes. And I think this punishment was appropriately structured to address his mouth filter problem and the thinking behind what he said. Sure, you can learn to not say racist things out loud. However, he also needs to learn some basic empathy, to look at people as individuals worthy of dignity and respect, and to question stereotypes and generalizations he encounters about other cultures. Learning to not act racist is one thing. Learning to not be racist is another.
Load More Replies...I got worse news for you than worrying about your punishment being too harsh. Your husband is going to teach your son that he is superior and to be racist. And there is no way to undo that unless you and he agree together that racism is taught (particularly at home) and you and he are going to have to put on a united front to stop it.
I thought the excess punishment was going to be the essay. I’m shocked the dad thought the in-person apology was too far. These actions absolutely warranted an apology. However, writing the essay, and reading the apology letter may be a bit much. You’re kinda making the delivery guy do some of the parenting. Personally, I have social anxiety. I don’t want to stand there awkwardly while some random kid reads me a letter and essay. Say you’re sorry and mean it, and let’s move on. However, action needed to be taken regardless.
I get your point about the social anxiety. For a lot of people it would have been extremely uncomfortable to stand there and listen to some kid's reluctant, forced apology and accept it with grace. But you really have to give the guy credit for engaging with the kid. He obviously realized it was an opportunity to maybe make a difference.
Load More Replies...Good on you mama!! Your husband needs to be served a harsh lesson for condoning this behavior even if it is covert. Also if you think there is friend influence, don't tell the kid he can't be friends with this person, just forbid this friend from the house or your son going over to his house. Maybe talk with this kids folks, if the folks are total d***s then evaluate a full ban. Ooh let the kids school know they need to do more lessons on tolerance, racism, and that business.
If "it's just a joke" then why didn't the driver find it funny. Racists always try to excuse themselves with that wafer thin justification.
It’s like I always say. It’s not a joke unless the person finds it funny. (sexist jokes, racist jokes, homophobic jokes etc.)
Load More Replies..."Just a joke", well I guess we get where the son learned it. I'm against "shaming" children, but apologizing for wrong doing is teaching them and the son got to hear from the person about their perspective.
child should be embarassed. what he did was shameful
Load More Replies...Racism is always learned, so you have to break it as soon as possible, or it will stick maybe forever in its head. (i wrote maybe because, some people learn later one, but its more likely, the don't. )
Mouth filters don't work well on young teens. All the more reason to train him to think before he speaks - and then think again. Kid will remember this - which is the POINT of punishments!
Yes. And I think this punishment was appropriately structured to address his mouth filter problem and the thinking behind what he said. Sure, you can learn to not say racist things out loud. However, he also needs to learn some basic empathy, to look at people as individuals worthy of dignity and respect, and to question stereotypes and generalizations he encounters about other cultures. Learning to not act racist is one thing. Learning to not be racist is another.
Load More Replies...I got worse news for you than worrying about your punishment being too harsh. Your husband is going to teach your son that he is superior and to be racist. And there is no way to undo that unless you and he agree together that racism is taught (particularly at home) and you and he are going to have to put on a united front to stop it.
I thought the excess punishment was going to be the essay. I’m shocked the dad thought the in-person apology was too far. These actions absolutely warranted an apology. However, writing the essay, and reading the apology letter may be a bit much. You’re kinda making the delivery guy do some of the parenting. Personally, I have social anxiety. I don’t want to stand there awkwardly while some random kid reads me a letter and essay. Say you’re sorry and mean it, and let’s move on. However, action needed to be taken regardless.
I get your point about the social anxiety. For a lot of people it would have been extremely uncomfortable to stand there and listen to some kid's reluctant, forced apology and accept it with grace. But you really have to give the guy credit for engaging with the kid. He obviously realized it was an opportunity to maybe make a difference.
Load More Replies...Good on you mama!! Your husband needs to be served a harsh lesson for condoning this behavior even if it is covert. Also if you think there is friend influence, don't tell the kid he can't be friends with this person, just forbid this friend from the house or your son going over to his house. Maybe talk with this kids folks, if the folks are total d***s then evaluate a full ban. Ooh let the kids school know they need to do more lessons on tolerance, racism, and that business.






















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