“I Think My Son Is Embarrassed That I Am A Garbage Man. Advice?”: Sad Dad Asks Internet For Parenting Help

Like children want their parents to be proud of them, the same could be said about the reverse. Even though it may be difficult to notice, moms and dads around the world want their children to be proud of their careers.

At times, it may become difficult to achieve this as kids sometimes cannot see the significance and esteem in some professions, fixating on jobs that are highly glamorized by society. A Reddit user working as a garbage collector encountered this firsthand after coming to present his job on parent career day.

More info: Reddit

Navigating a child’s and a parent’s feelings at the same time may be really difficult, especially on sensitive topics

Image credits: netkids (not the actual image)

The poster, working as a garbage collector, came in to parent career day at his 10 Y.O. son’s school and saw that he was seemingly embarrassed during his presentation

Image credits: Reddit

The dad then came to Reddit for advice, where people tried to suggest how he could explain the importance of his job

The long, short, and middle of the story is that the original poster (OP) is afraid that his son is embarrassed by his – his dad’s – profession after a parent career day presentation at school.

This story, in a way, is as old as time itself. Children, especially teens, are often embarrassed by the way their parents do pretty much anything and everything – the way their parents dress, talk, and their jobs – nothing is safe.

There are various reasons for this, according to Moms. To some it may seem that parents are interfering too much in their lives. Others are very concerned about their privacy, especially with social media being as prevalent as it is. Furthermore, apparently a different part of the brain is responsible for feeling embarrassed, perhaps explaining the difference between adults. 

Teens are also very critical of themselves as they are seeking and trying to find their place in the world.

It may also come down to bullying, as there is nothing inherently shameful about any profession, especially those where work is honest and difficult. Other kids may be the real culprits, making fun of anything they can hang on to. 

The truth is that no job is shameful or embarrassing in any way. People just make them out to be because perhaps they’re less hygienic, more odorous, more physical, or seemingly boring. But what people mention sparingly is that without these jobs being done, society would fall apart at the seams. 

Plus, let’s take a look at France’s example, where people are on strike because of pension reforms. The garbage collectors have gone on mass strike, making streets dangerous because of animal-borne disease, never mind how they look. If you haven’t been keeping up to date, you can see more here.

Image credits: Max Fischer (not the actual image)

For this article, Bored Panda got in touch with Dan Cumberland, the creator of the Meaning Movement. Dan wishes to help people understand that work is more than something you do to get a paycheck – it’s something that can hold deeper meaning and be done with purpose in mind and passion at heart.

Dan understands this is a complex issue, but as a father of three children, he has carefully considered what he wants them to know about work.

He believes that all jobs are a means to an end, with four things that make them meaningful. “I call these the four P’s: the pay, the people you do it with and for, the work itself (the process), and the product of the work (the greater good that job is solving).”

The best job would obviously be one that checks all of the boxes, but that’s not always possible. And you have to choose what is more important to you.

Dan considers this from the perspective of a garbage collector.

“I imagine someone working as a garbage collector isn’t in love with the day-to-day work, but he may really enjoy the people he works with, and if it pays the bills and provides for his family — that’s a huge blessing.”

Dan continues, delivering a statement that all parents will likely empathize with: “It’s not sexy. But if I were in his shoes, I would hope my kids could understand the choice I’m making to make a better future for them.”

Perhaps kids may feel a pang of shame, but it’s important for them to understand that the parents make sacrifices to ensure a better future for them. An honest conversation about possible shame feelings may provide a way for the father and the son to connect and understand each other better.

If you’ve ever felt ashamed of your occupation, Dan has some advice for you. “It’s essential to keep your bigger life direction and mission in mind.  Many of us have to work jobs we’re not proud of, but keeping the reason WHY we’re working those jobs in mind helps us detach from overly identifying with them.”

Dan himself wanted to be an entrepreneur but had to work waiting tables before his dream could come to fruition. He felt ashamed at the start, but he managed to change his perspective about it. When people would ask what he did for a living, he would tell them: “I was an entrepreneur and that I was waiting tables as I launched my business.”

Placing this experience in a broader context allows you to understand your own life’s path and narrative more deeply.

Dan closes out with a stirring statement. “We need to recognize that everyone’s journey is unique and that a job doesn’t define who they are. We work to live, not live to work.”

If you’d like to learn more about Dan, what he does, and how the Meaning Movement helps empower people, visit his website. You can also read more about job shame in an article by him on the same topic.

Image credits: Brett Jordan (not the actual image)

A touching expression of a person’s regret over being ashamed of their parent’s occupation is the short film In the Shadow of the Pines by Anne Koizumi. Anne’s father used to work as a janitor at the school where she used to study. They didn’t have much, but her father would do his best to provide for her and make her happy. 

“I was so ashamed of my Dad’s broken English, his rough exterior, his ‘Japaneseness.’ I wanted him to be a dad who wore a suit, carried a briefcase, and drove to a downtown office job.”

Her father had a very difficult childhood himself, losing his dad at an early age and living in an orphanage. Being an immigrant, he considered his current employment and situation as lucky, but at the time, Anne didn’t see it that way. 

As an adult, she is sad that she hadn’t seen it that way, wanting to apologize to her father for her inconsiderate behavior.

“Once he was gone, I longed to make connections with him that I wasn’t able to when he was alive. How do I tell him I’m sorry? Or that now, I can see everything he did for us?“ 

You can watch the short documentary on the CBC Docs channel here. But beware, as it is very touching, and you may start feeling as if someone is cutting onions in the room with you!

If you’ve wiped off your tears after that film and would like a little pick-me-up, you could read a couple of positive Bored Panda articles about garbage collectors: one about two-year-old triplets becoming best friends with their garbage men, and another about a girl giving a birthday cupcake to her favorite garbage collector.

OP’s call for advice collected almost 200 upvotes, and more than 60 people came to help out in the comments. Most people suggested that the poster’s son should be educated about the importance of the work and the possible benefits. Many also emphasized just how important the job is to society, praising OP. Share your thoughts with the community in the comments!

Comments also praised OP for doing a key job in society and persevering for his family in a difficult job

Image credits: Boris Hamer (not the actual image)

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