“She Attacked Him First”: Family Feud Ensues After Dad Refuses To Punish His Son For Standing Up Against His Homophobic Aunt
As we all know, although family is very important, some members of a family don’t always see eye to eye regarding certain things. Such things can cause rifts and arguments among family members and that can lead to some rather upsetting situations. It is therefore no wonder that Reddit user aitasondyed took his situation to the AITA subreddit in order to make sure he didn’t do anything wrong.
In the case of aitasondyed, he got into an argument with his sister. In a nutshell, the Original Poster (OP) let his son dye his hair in pride colors to help him stand in solidarity with a girl in his school who came out as bisexual and got bullied as a result. When OP’s sister saw his son’s hair during a family BBQ, she did not like it at all and, in fact, did everything to convince both the parent and the son to cover up the hair and eventually re-dye it to its natural color. OP’s sister said some questionable remarks and threatened to kick the son out of the BBQ purely due to his hair. The situation got even more heated afterwards. Scroll down for the whole story.
More info: Reddit
Talking back to your elders is not necessarily the polite thing to do, but it can be the right thing
Image credits: Lelê Breveglieri (not the actual photo)
One dad turned to the internet to see if he was wrong to let his son talk back to his aunt over his hair
Image credits: aitasondyed
OP is a single father, as his wife passed away, and is raising a 16-year-old son. The other important individual in this story is OP’s sister who is, according to him, someone who speaks her mind clearly and is not “outright homophobic/racist.” As you will see later on, the latter is not entirely true.
OP’s son approached him to ask whether he could dye his hair in pride colors in solidarity with a fellow student, which he approved of, since it was a good cause
Image credits: aitasondyed
Some parents do not approve of their kids making big changes to their appearance before they reach adulthood, which is understandable. In the case of OP, he would’ve stuck to this rule when it came to his son. But since OP saw that this was an occasion dedicated to supporting a good cause, he made no objections. He felt pride in the fact that his son was standing up for someone. Whether or not OP felt sympathy for the LGBTQ+ community is unclear, however, the fact that he let his son express that is truly heartwarming.
Some time after having his hair dyed, OP’s son was confronted by the aforementioned sister at a family gathering, which backfired for her
Image credits: aitasondyed
Even though OP did say that his sister was not overtly homophobic, the last three images prove that this is not the case. She verbally attacked OP’s son and tried to enforce conformity upon him due to her beliefs, which are indeed homophobic. OP’s son was under great pressure and even though what he said was harsh, he was put into a position where defending oneself is not a surprising reaction.
After the situation, OP’s sister called him and refused to talk to him after she was told that OP’s son will not receive a punishment, which made OP feel like he was TA
Image credits: aitasondyed
OP’s situation can be understandable. He feels like he is TA because his sister, especially considering the comments from his parents, was not doing alright after the situation. However, as OP himself says, his son had the right to defend himself when he was attacked.
OP then goes on to provide some clarification of his sister’s behavior when it comes to being homophobic and describes her other toxic traits
Image credits: aitasondyed
Homophobia is clearly not okay, even when it doesn’t necessarily appear overt to some. The description of OP’s sister when it comes to her other toxic traits doesn’t paint a pretty picture either, so it could be said that it is rather unsurprising that she reacted so badly to something as simple as dyed hair.
The comment section responded pretty much unanimously to OP’s story by saying that he was not TA and pointing out that his sister’s behavior was despicable
While some thought OP’s son went overboard with his remark when he was defending himself, everyone agreed he had the right to stand his ground and praised OP
This story has a couple of angles for sure, but one thing is for certain, if somebody has personal issues and decides to unload them unto somebody else, they should expect a reaction to their initial action. Overall, OP does indeed seem like a great parent, all things considered, and the comment section rings true as well.
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Share on FacebookIf my sister dared to say something like that in my house, and least to my kids she would be kicked out of the house so fast that she wouldnt know what hit her.
it's the kind of thing one of my sisters would say... that why she not allowed in my house
Load More Replies...Pink was initially considered a boys colour anyway, given that it was a lighter form of the colour red - which was considered masculine, pink was seen as a colour for young boys. Light Blue was considered dainty and feminine, somewhere along the line, that reversed. But realistically, I don't give a f**k what colour anyone of any gender likes/wears. wtf.
It changed mostly cause of the Nazis. Gay men were forced to wear pink triangles.
Load More Replies...Right? Judgmental af but ignores her own "sins" and claims to be righteous.
Load More Replies...NTA. I could argue all the pro's and con's of the situation, but the only thing that truly needs commented on is HOW FANTASTIC YOUR SON IS. You and your wife have done an absolutely magnificent job raising a stand-up human being. First he wishes to dye his hair traditionally non-male colors and facing bullying himself for standing up for someone else - thumbs up. Then he justifiably defends himself, when she's throwing stones in glass houses, with some of the finest cut-rate wit from a 16yr old - kudos on the swift intelligence. Then he has the ability to review his actions from the previous day, and even though he was wholly in the right, he still manages to have empathy and sympathy for his A-hole aunt and admit remorse over his choice of words - talk about emotional maturity! That lad right there is going to make one brilliant human, and people will be all the better for knowing him. He's done a grand job on himself, and you've done a grand job raising him.
Yes, he's a fantastic young man, full of empathy but also strong AF!
Load More Replies...This was kind of hilarious. I'm still surprised about what people think causes homosexuality though.
I'm always baffled when people say it is a choice. Sure, of course a kid will choose a sexuality that will get him/her bullied in school and discriminated against or even beaten. Just for fun. /s
Load More Replies...I just wanna say the girl with the pink/purple/blue/green dyed hair in the pic looks AMAZING. 😍
Ikr? I wanna dye my hair like that soon
Load More Replies...She actually thinks son's rainbow hair would "make her sons "turn gay!" Yes, she's a big-time homophobic. Nobody "turns gay!" It's none of her business what color his hair is. And then she's going to "kick the son out" of the BBQ OP is hosting. No apology is deserved for her! I'm surprised the first husband put up with her as long as he did!!! (I'd love it if turned out that she cheated with a woman!) LOL!!
Re Scruff the wonderless dog: Zoologists are discovering that homosexual and bisexual activity is not unknown within the animal kingdom. Baboons, bison, bonobos, brown bear, brown rats, guinea pigs, caribou, domestic cats and cattle, chimpanzees, common dolphins, common marmosets, dogs, elephants, foxes, giraffes, goats, horses, koalas, lions, orca, pandas, raccoons have all been observed to display same-sex behaviors. That's just the mammals.
Load More Replies...Note to self: wait until I'm in college to come out as bi, because then I'll have people to defend me.
Be sure to stay safe until then, because this reads like your current environment is potentially hostile.
Load More Replies...Off topic, but it's sweet that he still makes a good faith effort to respect his wife's wishes regarding parenting
Your sister is obviously sexist and gender bias, which are both as bad as homophobic IMO. Conservatives have a bad habit (not all of them) of calling everything that doesnt fit into their tiny box as sin... no matter what it is, while wallowing in their own hypocracy (being the cause of divorce is a greater sin than hair color for most conservatives I know).
If my sister dared to say something like that in my house, and least to my kids she would be kicked out of the house so fast that she wouldnt know what hit her.
it's the kind of thing one of my sisters would say... that why she not allowed in my house
Load More Replies...Pink was initially considered a boys colour anyway, given that it was a lighter form of the colour red - which was considered masculine, pink was seen as a colour for young boys. Light Blue was considered dainty and feminine, somewhere along the line, that reversed. But realistically, I don't give a f**k what colour anyone of any gender likes/wears. wtf.
It changed mostly cause of the Nazis. Gay men were forced to wear pink triangles.
Load More Replies...Right? Judgmental af but ignores her own "sins" and claims to be righteous.
Load More Replies...NTA. I could argue all the pro's and con's of the situation, but the only thing that truly needs commented on is HOW FANTASTIC YOUR SON IS. You and your wife have done an absolutely magnificent job raising a stand-up human being. First he wishes to dye his hair traditionally non-male colors and facing bullying himself for standing up for someone else - thumbs up. Then he justifiably defends himself, when she's throwing stones in glass houses, with some of the finest cut-rate wit from a 16yr old - kudos on the swift intelligence. Then he has the ability to review his actions from the previous day, and even though he was wholly in the right, he still manages to have empathy and sympathy for his A-hole aunt and admit remorse over his choice of words - talk about emotional maturity! That lad right there is going to make one brilliant human, and people will be all the better for knowing him. He's done a grand job on himself, and you've done a grand job raising him.
Yes, he's a fantastic young man, full of empathy but also strong AF!
Load More Replies...This was kind of hilarious. I'm still surprised about what people think causes homosexuality though.
I'm always baffled when people say it is a choice. Sure, of course a kid will choose a sexuality that will get him/her bullied in school and discriminated against or even beaten. Just for fun. /s
Load More Replies...I just wanna say the girl with the pink/purple/blue/green dyed hair in the pic looks AMAZING. 😍
Ikr? I wanna dye my hair like that soon
Load More Replies...She actually thinks son's rainbow hair would "make her sons "turn gay!" Yes, she's a big-time homophobic. Nobody "turns gay!" It's none of her business what color his hair is. And then she's going to "kick the son out" of the BBQ OP is hosting. No apology is deserved for her! I'm surprised the first husband put up with her as long as he did!!! (I'd love it if turned out that she cheated with a woman!) LOL!!
Re Scruff the wonderless dog: Zoologists are discovering that homosexual and bisexual activity is not unknown within the animal kingdom. Baboons, bison, bonobos, brown bear, brown rats, guinea pigs, caribou, domestic cats and cattle, chimpanzees, common dolphins, common marmosets, dogs, elephants, foxes, giraffes, goats, horses, koalas, lions, orca, pandas, raccoons have all been observed to display same-sex behaviors. That's just the mammals.
Load More Replies...Note to self: wait until I'm in college to come out as bi, because then I'll have people to defend me.
Be sure to stay safe until then, because this reads like your current environment is potentially hostile.
Load More Replies...Off topic, but it's sweet that he still makes a good faith effort to respect his wife's wishes regarding parenting
Your sister is obviously sexist and gender bias, which are both as bad as homophobic IMO. Conservatives have a bad habit (not all of them) of calling everything that doesnt fit into their tiny box as sin... no matter what it is, while wallowing in their own hypocracy (being the cause of divorce is a greater sin than hair color for most conservatives I know).






















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