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Boy Has Been Close To Girl For 5 Years, Their Friendship Ends Overnight At The Age Of 10 At School
Boy Has Been Close To Girl For 5 Years, Their Friendship Ends Overnight At The Age Of 10 At School
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Boy Has Been Close To Girl For 5 Years, Their Friendship Ends Overnight At The Age Of 10 At School

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How often do we think about what really becomes the reason for our friendship with this or that person? Especially if this friendship begins in adulthood. Common interests, hobbies? Living in the same neighborhood? Working together? Your children’s mutual friendship?

The author of our story today, the user WiseOwl24, also sincerely believed that she had found a bosom friend in the person of her son’s bestie’s mom. And for five whole years, this was the case until school made its harsh adjustments… However, let’s figure it all out together.

More info: Mumsnet

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    The author of the post has a 10-year-old son whose peer ‘Mia’ had been his longtime bestie

    Image credits: freepik / freepik (not the actual photo)

    The boy and the girl were really close, playing together and attending one another’s birthday parties – and so were their moms

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    Image credits: WiseOwl24

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    Image credits: freepik / freepik (not the actual image)

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    The author was pretty sure that Mia’s mom was her bosom friend – but recently the friendship faded away

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    Image credits: WiseOwl24

    Image credits: gpointstudio / freepik (not the actual image)

    Mia started bullying the author’s son at school but denied everything in a private conversation

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    Image credits: WiseOwl24

    It turned out that the girl had started to hang out with ‘cool kids’ – and the friendship between the author and Mia’s mom also ended

    So, the Original Poster (OP) says that this girl (let’s call her “Mia”) had been her son’s best friend since pre-school times. They willingly played together, attended each other’s birthdays, and were generally inseparable. Accordingly, the kids’ mothers also made friends, and our heroine became really close to Mia’s mom.

    However, this whole idyll began to collapse a few months ago, when ten-year-old Mia, for no apparent reason, began to shower the OP’s son with insults, claiming that she was literally sick of his appearance. The boy, not understanding anything, told his mom about it, and she decided to clarify the situation.

    However, when Mia and her mother met with the author, the girl flatly denied the very fact of any insults towards her friend, claiming that he was just lying. Accordingly, Mia’s mom was also hostile towards the OP. Well, after some time, at school, Mia subjected the poor boy to even more bullying ‘for snitching on her.’

    The woman supposes that the reason for this is Mia’s changed friendship preferences as she began to spend more time with, let’s say, “cool kids.” Much older in their behavior, more streetwise, sarcastic, mouthy and trendy, than the OP’s son. Who, his mom honestly admits, is still a child.

    Mom tried to discuss the situation with the teacher, but instead of a balanced and delicate approach, she chose to simply snap at Mia, directly telling the girl that the original poster had complained about her behavior. Needless to say, this had the opposite reaction to what was expected.

    And the OP’s friendship with Mia’s mother, which once seemed so strong and unbreakable, has now actually turned to dust in the wind. In fact, our heroine admits, she and her son have both lost very close people, after years of them having a happy friendship.

    Image credits: freepik/ freepik (not the actual image)

    “The situation, in general, is quite standard – children at this age are just beginning a kind of reassessment of their own values, and not every friendship is destined to survive this difficult period. Especially between girls and boys,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here.

    “Girls usually start this process earlier, and they sometimes feel ‘ashamed’ of the very fact of their friendship with someone who now looks like a little kid in their eyes. In fact, this mother herself also told something similar. That the girl radically changed her social circle at school.”

    “And the teacher’s reaction here was also, to put it mildly, unsuccessful. Any aggression when working with teenagers will cause the exact opposite reaction, so it is not surprising that nothing was achieved. However, the boy still has his whole life ahead of him – there will still be room for a true and strong friendship,” Irina is pretty much sure.

    As for the commenters to the original post, they also believe that the situation described by the author is quite common, although, of course, very unpleasant. “If Mia has been drawn into wanting to be in the cool gang, she may have felt that, to be accepted, she has to be seen to reject and dislike anyone who’s not in the cool gang,” one of the responders wrote. “This kind of thing is not uncommon.”

    In any case, commenters are almost certain that the author and her son lost not just friends, but bad friends, since this friendship didn’t pass such a test. “You haven’t both lost osw friends, though. You have both lost bad friends. Use it as an opportunity to teach him what a friendship shouldn’t look like and it will stand him in good stead,” another person added quite wisely. And do you, our dear readers, also agree with this point of view?

    People in the comments noted that this case is far from uncommon, and claimed that the author and her son just ‘lost bad friends’

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    Oleg Tarasenko

    Oleg Tarasenko

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

    Read less »
    Oleg Tarasenko

    Oleg Tarasenko

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

    What do you think ?
    Lyoness
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The exact same thing happened to our daughter. She and her best friend Sophie were inseparable from kindergarten to grade five. One day DD came home sobbing. She had gone up to Sophie in the hall at school as usual and the little b*tch said "I don't hang out with losers", then she and her new friends laughed. Our daughter is 22 and I still hate that kid.

    Emie N.
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Something similar happened with my husband and his childhood male friend. They were friends for years and the boy ended up bullying him for no reason.

    Load More Replies...
    Broadredpanda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do you know what? I NEVER had a best friend. Even though I had "friends" I was bullied by all of them. I was an easy target because I was small and feeble. Mine started at around 7 years old and I thought that was bad, but senior school was horrendous!!! I had no-one. My parents (who I love dearly) didn't do anything, but I didn't tell them everything either. But I raised three daughters and when my youngest was being bullied, I knew. My mam knew of bad incidents but didn't do enough and my dad just tolerated us. He's amazing now though! I went on to be bullied in the workplace and I'm now 52 and still struggling with confidence and I'm called "the sorry girl" I did everything I could for my girl and she's Fricken amazing!! My mam and dad now know the extent of the bullying, but say "we didn't know this" rubbish!! I wished I could get over it but I'm still a mess sometimes. OP this is awful for him but the problem lies with the parents if they don't/wont acknowledge her bad behaviour.

    Broadredpanda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    RAN OUT OF LETTERS! Hopefully Mia will alter this behaviour. Unfortunately they often don't and it comes to the point that when she's older, she'll regret her behaviour. Girls can be way more hurtful/nasty than boys, they can be evil!! My main bully burnt my hair and loads more. That same person (who bullied me throughout high school) seen me when I was older and she said to her own daughter who was also bullying "don't do it! I've seen a girl who I bullied (me) recently, and I felt terrible! She has tried many times to create a friendship, but I don't want to. I know how she feels because she told a friend of mine. I think you're raising a lovely child and they can come to you, that's huge. Good luck

    Load More Replies...
    Ben Aziza
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Based on the mom's defensive reaction...Yeh it could indicate why the kid is acting like that in the first place. Worth exploring for op.

    Marie BellaDonna
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would agree that mom is the root cause. But I disagree that it's worth exploring. There's no logic that can explain people like that, and they don't listen to reason. We're much better off to just walk away from them, and finding our own inner peace.

    Load More Replies...
    Jane
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm guessing that one of Mia's classmates referred to him as her boyfriend. She wanted to stop that rumour immediately so went scorched earth.

    V
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, it sucks. I remember when I was 13 and I was into younger things than my 'bff'. Well she got accepted into the cool girls group and that was the end of that friendship. It's important to be honest about what's happened, and let him know he's not alone in having this happen to him.

    Lisa T
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It sounds like she wanted to join the “cool kids” but was given an ultimatum - Them or the bestie. Was probably told if he speaks to her, then she can’t stay in the cool group. Thus, she abuses him as a way to get him to stop wanting to be her friend. I was bullied a lot as a kid and you get so desperate to be accepted that you do what others tell you to, in order to be accepted by them. Also the mother just doesn’t want to believe her perfect daughter could do such a thing, so labels the others as liars.

    C.O. Shea
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No accounting for hormones and peer pressure. People are in our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Mourn the loss... then get busy living your best life. Time is Now. Do not waste it on game players.

    Michelle Seasor
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I experienced this growing up. Around 8th grade, 2 girls I considered best friends started to bully me, talk about me behind my back, spread rumors, and wouldn't talk to me. As someone who was/is socially awkward most of the time, I had always been bullied. However this hit differently because it came out of left field and there wasn't a specific incident or event that changed things. It sucked but I learned to become more social with all people, and have learned to accept others for who they are

    marianne eliza
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mia is copying her new "friends". She wants to be like them. Sad for her. A day will come when she will regret it. I (64f) know. I so want to apologize to a girl from 5th grade but can't find her.

    Thanos'Fingers
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lucky her. Your need to apologize is selfish. This was 50 years ago, whoever you tormented doesn't want to be reminded of YOU. Or how you treated them. They don't need your apology to move on, it's been 50 years. It only helps you, and more than likely harms, or at minimum slightly annoys, the girl you bullied. The time to apologize was 50 years ago. Move on and leave it in the past where it belongs, and just hope she lived a good life after you.

    Load More Replies...
    Melissa Harris
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The OP should get her son therapy to help him processes this. It's normal for kids to drift apart as they age or even to have fights that end the friendship but out if the blue like this is confusing and emotionally devastating for a child that is just learning intersocial skills. Also, see if you can move him out of the class if there's another of the same grade. I'm not sure if the teacher went about this correctly. Bullying shouldn't be tolerated and this girl's parents should have been called in for a parent-teacher meeting about her behavior and informed that if it continues she'll be suspended or disciplined per school policy. There's nothing to be done about this other woman who's clearly raising a little brat. You've seen the type of person and parent she is.

    David Earley
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    To be fair, you dont know if she was bullying him. Maybe she was trying to distance herself and he kept trying to talk to her which just meant more bad stuff being said. Kids that age dont always know how to process changes.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    Lyoness
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The exact same thing happened to our daughter. She and her best friend Sophie were inseparable from kindergarten to grade five. One day DD came home sobbing. She had gone up to Sophie in the hall at school as usual and the little b*tch said "I don't hang out with losers", then she and her new friends laughed. Our daughter is 22 and I still hate that kid.

    Emie N.
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Something similar happened with my husband and his childhood male friend. They were friends for years and the boy ended up bullying him for no reason.

    Load More Replies...
    Broadredpanda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do you know what? I NEVER had a best friend. Even though I had "friends" I was bullied by all of them. I was an easy target because I was small and feeble. Mine started at around 7 years old and I thought that was bad, but senior school was horrendous!!! I had no-one. My parents (who I love dearly) didn't do anything, but I didn't tell them everything either. But I raised three daughters and when my youngest was being bullied, I knew. My mam knew of bad incidents but didn't do enough and my dad just tolerated us. He's amazing now though! I went on to be bullied in the workplace and I'm now 52 and still struggling with confidence and I'm called "the sorry girl" I did everything I could for my girl and she's Fricken amazing!! My mam and dad now know the extent of the bullying, but say "we didn't know this" rubbish!! I wished I could get over it but I'm still a mess sometimes. OP this is awful for him but the problem lies with the parents if they don't/wont acknowledge her bad behaviour.

    Broadredpanda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    RAN OUT OF LETTERS! Hopefully Mia will alter this behaviour. Unfortunately they often don't and it comes to the point that when she's older, she'll regret her behaviour. Girls can be way more hurtful/nasty than boys, they can be evil!! My main bully burnt my hair and loads more. That same person (who bullied me throughout high school) seen me when I was older and she said to her own daughter who was also bullying "don't do it! I've seen a girl who I bullied (me) recently, and I felt terrible! She has tried many times to create a friendship, but I don't want to. I know how she feels because she told a friend of mine. I think you're raising a lovely child and they can come to you, that's huge. Good luck

    Load More Replies...
    Ben Aziza
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Based on the mom's defensive reaction...Yeh it could indicate why the kid is acting like that in the first place. Worth exploring for op.

    Marie BellaDonna
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would agree that mom is the root cause. But I disagree that it's worth exploring. There's no logic that can explain people like that, and they don't listen to reason. We're much better off to just walk away from them, and finding our own inner peace.

    Load More Replies...
    Jane
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm guessing that one of Mia's classmates referred to him as her boyfriend. She wanted to stop that rumour immediately so went scorched earth.

    V
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, it sucks. I remember when I was 13 and I was into younger things than my 'bff'. Well she got accepted into the cool girls group and that was the end of that friendship. It's important to be honest about what's happened, and let him know he's not alone in having this happen to him.

    Lisa T
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It sounds like she wanted to join the “cool kids” but was given an ultimatum - Them or the bestie. Was probably told if he speaks to her, then she can’t stay in the cool group. Thus, she abuses him as a way to get him to stop wanting to be her friend. I was bullied a lot as a kid and you get so desperate to be accepted that you do what others tell you to, in order to be accepted by them. Also the mother just doesn’t want to believe her perfect daughter could do such a thing, so labels the others as liars.

    C.O. Shea
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No accounting for hormones and peer pressure. People are in our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Mourn the loss... then get busy living your best life. Time is Now. Do not waste it on game players.

    Michelle Seasor
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I experienced this growing up. Around 8th grade, 2 girls I considered best friends started to bully me, talk about me behind my back, spread rumors, and wouldn't talk to me. As someone who was/is socially awkward most of the time, I had always been bullied. However this hit differently because it came out of left field and there wasn't a specific incident or event that changed things. It sucked but I learned to become more social with all people, and have learned to accept others for who they are

    marianne eliza
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mia is copying her new "friends". She wants to be like them. Sad for her. A day will come when she will regret it. I (64f) know. I so want to apologize to a girl from 5th grade but can't find her.

    Thanos'Fingers
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lucky her. Your need to apologize is selfish. This was 50 years ago, whoever you tormented doesn't want to be reminded of YOU. Or how you treated them. They don't need your apology to move on, it's been 50 years. It only helps you, and more than likely harms, or at minimum slightly annoys, the girl you bullied. The time to apologize was 50 years ago. Move on and leave it in the past where it belongs, and just hope she lived a good life after you.

    Load More Replies...
    Melissa Harris
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The OP should get her son therapy to help him processes this. It's normal for kids to drift apart as they age or even to have fights that end the friendship but out if the blue like this is confusing and emotionally devastating for a child that is just learning intersocial skills. Also, see if you can move him out of the class if there's another of the same grade. I'm not sure if the teacher went about this correctly. Bullying shouldn't be tolerated and this girl's parents should have been called in for a parent-teacher meeting about her behavior and informed that if it continues she'll be suspended or disciplined per school policy. There's nothing to be done about this other woman who's clearly raising a little brat. You've seen the type of person and parent she is.

    David Earley
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    To be fair, you dont know if she was bullying him. Maybe she was trying to distance herself and he kept trying to talk to her which just meant more bad stuff being said. Kids that age dont always know how to process changes.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
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