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Parent Wonders How Bad They Messed Up After Hysterically Laughing At Son’s Entitlement
Being a parent is hard enough as it is. But when you’re raising a child who has serious anger issues, it’s an even greater challenge. Throw some entitlement, narcissism, and teenage hormones into the mix, and you have a powder keg waiting for you at home. And sometimes, you can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation.
One parent asked the AITA online community whether they were a jerk for uncontrollably laughing at their son, who, in a fit of gamer rage, destroyed his Christmas present. Not only that, but the teenager had the audacity to ask for a replacement gift. Scroll down for the full story and the internet’s verdict.
RELATED:
While multiplayer games can be frustrating at times, losing at them is no excuse for massive fits of rage and destroying things
Image credits: GSR-PhotoStudio (not the actual photo)
A parent asked the internet to weigh in on a tough situation at home. They revealed how their teenager, who has anger and entitlement issues, went nuclear while gaming
Image credits: gstockstudio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Objective_Original
In order to have a healthier relationship with your emotions, you first need to understand the core reasons behind your anger
If your child’s anger issues get to the point where even minor mistakes or social interactions make them lose their cool, you might need the help of a mental health expert.
A therapist with a background in either anger management or teenage development might be able to help them reframe their experiences and give them the tools to calm down when they get frustrated.
Meanwhile, your teenager will need parental support at home while they learn to handle their incredibly intense emotions.
According to the Cleveland Clinic, anger management therapy teaches you coping skills. What’s more, during your sessions, you delve into what’s actually making you angry at your core. Your therapist might ask you the following questions:
- What makes you angry?
- What are you really angry about?
- Is the intensity of your anger appropriate for the situation?
- Is your anger masking another emotion? For example, fear, anxiety, hurt, or shame?
- How does anger feel in your body?
Some anger management coping skills include things like cognitive restructuring (changing the way you think about situations) so that you don’t dwell on or exaggerate negative feelings.
For instance, thinking that a specific situation is the ‘worst thing’ that has ever happened to you is unhealthy. A healthier, more nuanced perspective would be to acknowledge that the situation might be bad, that it’s okay to be upset, but that things aren’t catastrophic.
Image credits: seventyfourimages (not the actual photo)
There are lots of different skills that you can learn so that you can express your emotions in a mature way
Another important coping mechanism is developing your communication skills so that you’re better equipped to express your anger. The goal isn’t to suppress your feelings, but to talk about them in healthier ways.
Meanwhile, relaxation techniques, including meditation, yoga, and breathing exercises, can also help you restructure your relationship with anger.
Ideally, you’ll begin to pause more often to respond to situations. And you’ll let go of your frustrations instead of ruminating and rehashing them over and over again.
Verywell Mind stresses that anger management therapy can help you improve your mental and physical health, improve your school life or career, and reduce the damage that you do to your relationships. When you lash out at others, you alienate them while also taking a toll on your well-being.
“Anger often harms loved ones the most and can take a toll on your relationships with them. It can make it difficult for others to be comfortable around you, erode their trust and respect, and be especially damaging to children.”
What’s your perspective, dear Pandas? Do you think the parent was in the wrong to laugh at their son’s entitlement, or do you think their reaction was justified?
How would you have handled things if your child destroyed their Xmas gift in a fit of rage? Do you know anyone who is susceptible to gamer rage? Let us know what you think in the comments below.
Image credits: ShiftDrive (not the actual photo)
Most readers were on the parent’s side. Here’s their take on things
Some internet users, however, thought that everyone reacted poorly
Meanwhile, a handful of people called the parent out for how they handled their teen’s fit of rage
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What do you think ?
Andy 1 week ago
It's amazing the amount of comments which seems to think that the son being in therapy for anger issues somehow means that they get a free card for bad behaviour and should be treated with kid gloves. This is not a small child, it's a 17 year old who should fully understand consequences. The father was not laughing at him for losing his temper etc , he laughed at him for thinking that he is entitled to break something expensive, and automatically have it replaced by his parents. That is not a reasonable view point, and does not need to be validated by being treated as such. A 5 year old yes, as they are still coming to terms with actions and consequences, but 17 years old is old enough for that be better treated as ridiculous
Nikole 1 week ago
He's almost a legal adult! Man, this is kind of scary, especially since he destroyed his own stuff. To me, that's crazier.
Load More Replies...
kissmychakram 1 week ago
Laughing at absurdity is a normal reaction. Breaking furniture isn't. In an ideal world Dad shouldn't have laughed but this completely understandable instinctual reaction absolutely doesn't make him an arséhole.
liam newton-harding 1 week ago
I love the YTA's who appear to be psychotically in control of their emotions at all times. The air must be quite thin, up there, on their high horses.
April Pickett 1 week ago
Let him get a job (McDonald's?) to get the money for that replacement chair. I am presuming that he doesn't drive and you don't mind taking him to and from work. If he can do that and stay civil and polite, then you can talk chair.
Onan Hag All 1 week ago
He sounds like, a right spoiled brat, one with medicalised normal emotions.
Becky Samuel 1 week ago
Right. So your suggestion is that instead of using interventions that are proven to actually help with anger issues his parents do what? Beat him? Yell and scream and kick him out into the world to take out his rage on other people? Why are people so determined to be against helping others?
Load More Replies...
Betsy S 1 week ago
The YTA people have obviously never had an intense case of the giggles. I have had moments where I simply could not help but laugh, or stop laughing and the harder I try, the more it sneaks out. Laughing is not always a choice. Just like crying.
Nikole 1 week ago
I've laughed before because of a horrible yet so ridiculously absurd situation. It's its own coping mechanism.
Load More Replies...
Crystalwitch60 1 week ago
I’d have laughed at his audacity to , however if my now 21 yr old son at 17 well or ever had anger issues ,those kinda games would be banned totally untill the anger issues were sorted out , ffs family knew they wind him up more 🤦♀️,then common sense says DONT LET HIM PLAY THEM !!! end off , get him out the house doing sports , martial arts,is also brilliant for kids with anger issues , they get taught how to handle their anger , how to re use it for good ,!! Not letting sit inside all day , playing bloody games ,which make him worse ffs 🤦♀️NTA for laughing , cos I would have as well, but YTA for not taking the games off home far earlier ,n finding other activities for him to do ,that don’t incite his anger !
Bi.Felicia 1 week ago
I actually agree with the majority of your comment and I applaud you for writing something legible.
Load More Replies...
Michelle C 1 week ago
He's lucky he's not my child...not only would I have laughed but I would've group called the family and filled them in on the foolishness he laid upon me so they could have a laugh too...on speaker phone
Reemerger 1 week ago
The father didn't laugh to ridicule his son. I entirely understand that the sheer audacity made him laugh hysterically. As he describes it, he just could not stop. As for the son having been raised to be this way: my older brother was an attention-a******d a-hole from his earliest days. Wanting this, feeling he deserved this. Me on the other - my mom had to ask me what I'd like for birthdays, Christmas. I was fine just being alive. My point being, I wouldn't bet on the parents raising a psycho. Not everything is due to nurture.
Katharina Sei. 1 week ago
I imagined the OP as mother, does the post state it was a father or mother? I did not find the hint.
Load More Replies... Lady Eowyn 1 week ago
I think a competent therapist would be able to tell whether the teen - no longer a child - is pretending to have enough control to go back to multi-player games or really is ready. I've been dealing with anger issues my whole life - 70 years now - but I have coping mechanisms that usually work. When I lived with my parents I'd get the hatchet from the garden shed and chop firewood into kindling. I've broken my own things but never asked anyone else to replace them. It's better now, has been for a few decades, but there are times it's hard.
Earonn - 1 week ago
So, 17 year old can't control himself but gets pis.sed when parent loses it for once, in a non-violent way? Also, just imagine what this teenage shyte will do to the first girl that rejects him. He needs to be on a leash. Finally, the way OP describes it, it seems like a stress reaction more than actual laughing at their child.
Janelle Collard 1 week ago
It sounds like OP was laughing at the absudity of kid demanding a new chair after he broke the first one. If the kid's in therapy for temper tantrums, anger issues, etc., it's not working.
Dirk Daring 1 week ago
At 17, this is pretty much his last chance to learn the relation between actions and consequences before he becomes a legal adult. No new chair unless he earns the money for it himself. The wild laughter was over the top, though.
Apatheist Account2 1 week ago
Laughing isn't generally a great way to deal with someone's anger, but the child really has too many issues to be let near a game where he can fail.
Trillian 1 week ago (edited)
It wasn't grand as a reaction but totally understandable. If I were the dad I'd take a day to simmer down and then speak to my son about options: Getting a job or doing extra jobs around the house to earn the credit, or maybe helping to fix the chair so that it can be used.
Fiona Ross 1 week ago
I think that the parent’s laughter, rather than amusement, was a stress reaction to their almost-adult child’s very violent behaviour. I think that this should be explained to the son, both to emphasise that the laughter wasn’t mocking him, and so he understands how his behaviour is affecting the rest of his family. And a gift is given once, if the recipient destroys it, that gift is never repeated.
Melinda Landis 1 week ago
I would so love to have an outbreak of hysterical laughter. It feels so good. Hey, it beats the other response which would be, no, you twit, you broke it you fix,it, shouted loudly.
Lara Verne 1 week ago
Bro, I'm afraid that therapy isn't working as intended, because your son having toddler-level temper tantrum at 17 in very bad. Don't buy him new chair. He's old enough to face consequences.
Kari Lynn 6 days ago
My husband's estranged son is 21 now and still like the OP's son. He went through therapy from age 10. I don't forsee him ever getting better. His grandmother's husband thought making him do calisthenics after he broke things would help him learn cause and effect and consequences, but that wasn't remotely successful. I feel both sympathy and empathy for the OP. The laughing in the face of the absurd expectation of his son to be compensated with a new chair is a knee-jerk reaction after the earlier turmoil. It wasn't meant to be hurtful, so NTA. I still can't believe that, after a serious talk about being grounded from gaming, the son's next thought was to ask for a new gaming chair. For what? He's not going to be gaming. The serious discussion went in one ear and right out the other one. Maybe, the laughing did something to drive the point home in his pointed little head. We need an update.
Mark Childers 1 week ago
I have a hair trigger laugh, and I laugh at really inappropriate things involuntarily. The stranger the harder I laugh. I would have done the same thing over the absurdity of the moment. It would have hit me like a truck, and I would have lost it long and loud. I also have cataplexy, which makes it even worse.
Emilu 1 week ago
I have to admit when I was younger and playing online... for me, it was fighting games online, they'd bring out the worst in me. ... so I stopped playing them, except for with friends where I didn't have to care about 'losing rank' and all that rubbish. I was a smidge bit older than OP, then, and I get OP's kid is still technically a kid, not an adult... but he should be old enough to understand consequences. Money doesn't grow on trees, kid. That said, I don't believe the OP's kid is a bad person, as such. Immature? Maybe (don't know him enough to say). Possibly, based on OP's description. Has issues? Sure. Bad person? No. We've all done things we regret later. Sometimes they come back and bite us. That's part of being human and learning from your mistakes. I'm personally of the opinion that NAH here, just that OP's son needs to work on his anger issues and, whilst understandable, OP's reaction could have been better.
Lee Gilliland 1 week ago
This kid needs to not play RPGs for a while. Sign him up for basketball, football, tennis...anything, but get him out of the house running off that testosterone rather than allowing it to build up!
BoredPangolin 1 week ago
My oldest loses it on SOME specific video games and game type. He's only 10, but I take it as a responsibility to keep him off those games. He can play a million others. We talked about it a lot and I will continue to teach him that even though he might not be able to control his intense emotions, he can control his environment to avoid those triggers. We talked about gamification, reward systems and open world systems. I've been trying to make him understand and observe it in himself (before, we tried several times to reintroduce a specific game till I wrote it off 100%). I also emphasized positive gaming: It doesn't have to be "educational", it just has to be fun and non-addictive. It was a hard sell for years but he now starts taking it into account. I also modeled it, explaining I avoid the Sims for that reason. One day he'll be an adult and he needs to manage on his own. We also have "anger output" (he loves kicking packs of TP!). The chair? No free pass but he could earn it back.
Andy 1 week ago
It's amazing the amount of comments which seems to think that the son being in therapy for anger issues somehow means that they get a free card for bad behaviour and should be treated with kid gloves. This is not a small child, it's a 17 year old who should fully understand consequences. The father was not laughing at him for losing his temper etc , he laughed at him for thinking that he is entitled to break something expensive, and automatically have it replaced by his parents. That is not a reasonable view point, and does not need to be validated by being treated as such. A 5 year old yes, as they are still coming to terms with actions and consequences, but 17 years old is old enough for that be better treated as ridiculous
Nikole 1 week ago
He's almost a legal adult! Man, this is kind of scary, especially since he destroyed his own stuff. To me, that's crazier.
Load More Replies... kissmychakram 1 week ago
Laughing at absurdity is a normal reaction. Breaking furniture isn't. In an ideal world Dad shouldn't have laughed but this completely understandable instinctual reaction absolutely doesn't make him an arséhole.
liam newton-harding 1 week ago
I love the YTA's who appear to be psychotically in control of their emotions at all times. The air must be quite thin, up there, on their high horses.
April Pickett 1 week ago
Let him get a job (McDonald's?) to get the money for that replacement chair. I am presuming that he doesn't drive and you don't mind taking him to and from work. If he can do that and stay civil and polite, then you can talk chair.
Onan Hag All 1 week ago
He sounds like, a right spoiled brat, one with medicalised normal emotions.
Becky Samuel 1 week ago
Right. So your suggestion is that instead of using interventions that are proven to actually help with anger issues his parents do what? Beat him? Yell and scream and kick him out into the world to take out his rage on other people? Why are people so determined to be against helping others?
Load More Replies... Betsy S 1 week ago
The YTA people have obviously never had an intense case of the giggles. I have had moments where I simply could not help but laugh, or stop laughing and the harder I try, the more it sneaks out. Laughing is not always a choice. Just like crying.
Nikole 1 week ago
I've laughed before because of a horrible yet so ridiculously absurd situation. It's its own coping mechanism.
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 1 week ago
I’d have laughed at his audacity to , however if my now 21 yr old son at 17 well or ever had anger issues ,those kinda games would be banned totally untill the anger issues were sorted out , ffs family knew they wind him up more 🤦♀️,then common sense says DONT LET HIM PLAY THEM !!! end off , get him out the house doing sports , martial arts,is also brilliant for kids with anger issues , they get taught how to handle their anger , how to re use it for good ,!! Not letting sit inside all day , playing bloody games ,which make him worse ffs 🤦♀️NTA for laughing , cos I would have as well, but YTA for not taking the games off home far earlier ,n finding other activities for him to do ,that don’t incite his anger !
Bi.Felicia 1 week ago
I actually agree with the majority of your comment and I applaud you for writing something legible.
Load More Replies... Michelle C 1 week ago
He's lucky he's not my child...not only would I have laughed but I would've group called the family and filled them in on the foolishness he laid upon me so they could have a laugh too...on speaker phone
Reemerger 1 week ago
The father didn't laugh to ridicule his son. I entirely understand that the sheer audacity made him laugh hysterically. As he describes it, he just could not stop. As for the son having been raised to be this way: my older brother was an attention-a******d a-hole from his earliest days. Wanting this, feeling he deserved this. Me on the other - my mom had to ask me what I'd like for birthdays, Christmas. I was fine just being alive. My point being, I wouldn't bet on the parents raising a psycho. Not everything is due to nurture.
Katharina Sei. 1 week ago
I imagined the OP as mother, does the post state it was a father or mother? I did not find the hint.
Load More Replies... Lady Eowyn 1 week ago
I think a competent therapist would be able to tell whether the teen - no longer a child - is pretending to have enough control to go back to multi-player games or really is ready. I've been dealing with anger issues my whole life - 70 years now - but I have coping mechanisms that usually work. When I lived with my parents I'd get the hatchet from the garden shed and chop firewood into kindling. I've broken my own things but never asked anyone else to replace them. It's better now, has been for a few decades, but there are times it's hard.
Earonn - 1 week ago
So, 17 year old can't control himself but gets pis.sed when parent loses it for once, in a non-violent way? Also, just imagine what this teenage shyte will do to the first girl that rejects him. He needs to be on a leash. Finally, the way OP describes it, it seems like a stress reaction more than actual laughing at their child.
Janelle Collard 1 week ago
It sounds like OP was laughing at the absudity of kid demanding a new chair after he broke the first one. If the kid's in therapy for temper tantrums, anger issues, etc., it's not working.
Dirk Daring 1 week ago
At 17, this is pretty much his last chance to learn the relation between actions and consequences before he becomes a legal adult. No new chair unless he earns the money for it himself. The wild laughter was over the top, though.
Apatheist Account2 1 week ago
Laughing isn't generally a great way to deal with someone's anger, but the child really has too many issues to be let near a game where he can fail.
Trillian 1 week ago (edited)
It wasn't grand as a reaction but totally understandable. If I were the dad I'd take a day to simmer down and then speak to my son about options: Getting a job or doing extra jobs around the house to earn the credit, or maybe helping to fix the chair so that it can be used.
Fiona Ross 1 week ago
I think that the parent’s laughter, rather than amusement, was a stress reaction to their almost-adult child’s very violent behaviour. I think that this should be explained to the son, both to emphasise that the laughter wasn’t mocking him, and so he understands how his behaviour is affecting the rest of his family. And a gift is given once, if the recipient destroys it, that gift is never repeated.
Melinda Landis 1 week ago
I would so love to have an outbreak of hysterical laughter. It feels so good. Hey, it beats the other response which would be, no, you twit, you broke it you fix,it, shouted loudly.
Lara Verne 1 week ago
Bro, I'm afraid that therapy isn't working as intended, because your son having toddler-level temper tantrum at 17 in very bad. Don't buy him new chair. He's old enough to face consequences.
Kari Lynn 6 days ago
My husband's estranged son is 21 now and still like the OP's son. He went through therapy from age 10. I don't forsee him ever getting better. His grandmother's husband thought making him do calisthenics after he broke things would help him learn cause and effect and consequences, but that wasn't remotely successful. I feel both sympathy and empathy for the OP. The laughing in the face of the absurd expectation of his son to be compensated with a new chair is a knee-jerk reaction after the earlier turmoil. It wasn't meant to be hurtful, so NTA. I still can't believe that, after a serious talk about being grounded from gaming, the son's next thought was to ask for a new gaming chair. For what? He's not going to be gaming. The serious discussion went in one ear and right out the other one. Maybe, the laughing did something to drive the point home in his pointed little head. We need an update.
Mark Childers 1 week ago
I have a hair trigger laugh, and I laugh at really inappropriate things involuntarily. The stranger the harder I laugh. I would have done the same thing over the absurdity of the moment. It would have hit me like a truck, and I would have lost it long and loud. I also have cataplexy, which makes it even worse.
Emilu 1 week ago
I have to admit when I was younger and playing online... for me, it was fighting games online, they'd bring out the worst in me. ... so I stopped playing them, except for with friends where I didn't have to care about 'losing rank' and all that rubbish. I was a smidge bit older than OP, then, and I get OP's kid is still technically a kid, not an adult... but he should be old enough to understand consequences. Money doesn't grow on trees, kid. That said, I don't believe the OP's kid is a bad person, as such. Immature? Maybe (don't know him enough to say). Possibly, based on OP's description. Has issues? Sure. Bad person? No. We've all done things we regret later. Sometimes they come back and bite us. That's part of being human and learning from your mistakes. I'm personally of the opinion that NAH here, just that OP's son needs to work on his anger issues and, whilst understandable, OP's reaction could have been better.
Lee Gilliland 1 week ago
This kid needs to not play RPGs for a while. Sign him up for basketball, football, tennis...anything, but get him out of the house running off that testosterone rather than allowing it to build up!
BoredPangolin 1 week ago
My oldest loses it on SOME specific video games and game type. He's only 10, but I take it as a responsibility to keep him off those games. He can play a million others. We talked about it a lot and I will continue to teach him that even though he might not be able to control his intense emotions, he can control his environment to avoid those triggers. We talked about gamification, reward systems and open world systems. I've been trying to make him understand and observe it in himself (before, we tried several times to reintroduce a specific game till I wrote it off 100%). I also emphasized positive gaming: It doesn't have to be "educational", it just has to be fun and non-addictive. It was a hard sell for years but he now starts taking it into account. I also modeled it, explaining I avoid the Sims for that reason. One day he'll be an adult and he needs to manage on his own. We also have "anger output" (he loves kicking packs of TP!). The chair? No free pass but he could earn it back.
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