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Man Boycotts Birthday After Best Friend's GF Humiliates His Partner And Refuses To Apologize
Roasting someone is an art form. Gently flame them, and the victim will only come away singed. Give them third degree burns, and you risk burning a relationship to the ground. Yes folks, it’s a fine line between a sense of humor and a sense of humor failure.
One guy turned to an online community to vent after his bestie’s girlfriend roasted his own girlfriend about her job, only offering a lukewarm apology by text. Now, with his bestie’s 35th birthday coming up, loyalties are being tested and a friendship is fraying.
More info: Reddit
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Sometimes even the best friendships can be put to the test, and that’s when things can go sideways fast
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One guy, who’s been friends with his bestie since they met in college, found himself in an awkward situation after his bestie’s girlfriend publicly roasted his girlfriend’s job
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
His bestie didn’t lift a finger to intervene, and later the guy’s girlfriend confessed to feeling like she was in high school again, being humiliated by the class bully
Image credits: simonapilolla / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When he texted his bestie later asking him to tell his girlfriend to lay off in future, his bestie basically shrugged it off as her “love language” and said he was “being dramatic”
Image credits: BluejayCrate
Now, with his bestie’s big 35th birthday celebration just around the corner and pressure from his girlfriend not to go, he’s turned to netizens for advice
Meet the original poster (OP), a 34-year-old guy caught between bro code and boyfriend duty. His best friend “Dan” is throwing a blowout 35th birthday bash, rented bar, packed guest list, the works. They survived college chaos together, but now one shiny new variable threatens the peace: Dan’s girlfriend, who treats banter like a combat sport.
At a supposedly chill hangout, things went from awkward to mean-girls speedrun. When asked about her work, OP’s quiet girlfriend mentioned clinic admin. That’s when OP’s bestie’s girlfriend, Maya, pounced, dubbing her an “adult receptionist,” joking about whether doctors allow her to speak. Cue nervous laughs, flushed cheeks, and zero intervention from Dan.
When they were alone again, OP’s girlfriend admitted she felt humiliated, like she’d time-traveled back to high school bullying. Dan, however, waved it off as “banter” and Maya’s “love language.” The apology? A classic non-apology: “sorry you’re sensitive, please stop ruining my vibe.”
Now Dan’s 35th birthday looms, complete with pressure texts and guilt confetti. OP refuses to attend unless Maya behaves; Dan calls it an ultimatum. Friends are saying “keep the peace” and show up for a little while at least, but bailing might be the loudest message he can send. Up against the wall, he turned to netizens for advice.
Let’s be real: OP’s stuck between a bit of a rock and a hard place here. Dan’s refusing to take him seriously and his girlfriend expects some respect. So, when does humor cross a line? And what’s the best way to deal with someone who doesn’t know when the joke’s over?
Image credits: undefinedstock / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The experts at Psychology Today explain that sarcasm and “just joking” comments can mask contempt, letting someone take a dig while dodging responsibility. If you laugh, they’re funny; if you flinch, you “can’t take a joke.” Sneaky.
You see, contempt isn’t harmless sass, it’s disrespect in a party hat. The pros over at PsychCentral note that repeated sarcastic jokes, the narcissist’s favorite weapon, can slowly erode self-esteem. Fun fact? Sarcasm literally means “to tear flesh.” How delightful.
Maya seems like a dyed-in-the-wool narcissist, so how can OP and his girlfriend handle her? Therapists at VeryWellMind say interacting narcissists can leave you feeling angry and confused. They often try to provoke emotional reactions to gain a sense of control over others and may resort to personal attacks to get a rise out of you. Charming, right?
If you find yourself the target of narcissist’s sarcastic wit, Quick and Dirty Tips suggests some useful strategies, like answering their questions literally, labeling real feelings (followed up with sincere questions) or just blanking them, but not before throwing some compassion their way.
We’d say OP and his girlfriend should go to Dan’s 35th some flaming hot roasts for Maya up their sleeves. Let’s see how she likes getting a doe or two of her own medicine – she’ll probably implode like a bully that picks on the wrong kid.
What’s your take? Should OP and his girlfriend laugh Maya off, or is it time Dan got a brutal reality check about his choice of romantic partner? Drop your thoughts in the comments!
In the comments, readers urged the guy to back his girlfriend and drop Dan like a hot potato
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What do you think ?
Tabitha 6 hours ago
First, anyone who boasts about “just being honest” as a way to justify their rudeness and cruelty can go f**k themselves. Second, “Schroedinger's D*******g: The person who says something cruel and nasty, then decides whether it was ‘just a joke’ based on the reaction they get.” BOTH 100% apply to Maya, and by association plus not telling her to stop, the supposed “best friend” here. They’re both rotten people, and deserve to be shunned by all of their acquaintances who aren’t also rotten people.
sweet emotion 2 hours ago
Sadistic teasing with an overtone of bullying is not a "love" language, it's a B-rhymes-with-itch language and Maya should be told so......in public......in front of all her friends who tolerate her horrible behavior. Let her be the one who cries and runs away for once. And since Dan is clearly choosing his girlfriend over a past bro-ship, why shouldn't OP choose his own girlfriend????
Eggwodd 5 hours ago
There's a line between being sarcastic in a fun way and that passive aggressive way. I'm a very sarcastic person, but I never use it to make someone feel low. Soooo many times I start to reply to a BP post and then redo it or delete it when I realize that someone may see the more passive aggressive side of it. People like the chick in this story are just plain bullies. I'm sure she's a bully at work too.
Kate Johnson 3 hours ago
Here's what I would do - "I'd go to the party and if Maya started up I'd say "Hey how about for your bf's birthday you forgo the noxious c**t behavior and pretend to be a decent human being?" Then I'd say to Dan if he was upset about it "You're being too sensitive, I'm just giving Miss Brutal Honesty some brutal honesty in return. I figured if it was her "love language" she'd be fine with it."
Kathrin Pukowsky 5 hours ago
I wish I could say this is the weirdest love language I've heard of, but a little while ago I came across a post on reddit where a young man said his love language was "ragebaiting". That already gave me a headache, but apparently what he meant was that he just throws out completely unrelated questions or statements while talking to his girlfriend to make her upset. He made that post because in the middle of talking on the phone he had randomly asked her what she thinks of his pènis size. And she later told him the truth. And he thought about breaking up because he felt so disrespected and hurt. All I could think was "Well, you played yourself, but you played yourself well".
The Starsong Princess 46 minutes ago
She’s not joking. Jokes are funny. She’s a bully, working straight out of the bully’s handbook. Dan doesn’t care because she’s not bullying him. If you want to preserve the friendship, tell him you’ll see him without Maya although I can’t see why you’d bother.
JayWantsACat 47 minutes ago
If you have to follow so many of your comments with "it's just a joke/you're being too sensitive/I'm just being honest/etc" YOU ARE JUST AN A*****E. And "love language" is between loved ones, for you and them to have an understanding of different ways of communication. W*F does "love language" have to do with strangers? Nobody owes you acceptance nor tolerance of even innoculous love language, let alone strangers with an antagonistic one. It's crazy that no one will stand against this a*****e. I get maybe taking it for a 35th birthday, which is hilarious in of itself. 40th? Sure. 35th birthday bash is f*****g stupid. Regardless, I can see putting up with it for this bash but why continue to be friends with such unlikable people? "But but but...we've been through so much!" Yeah, so much that the friend is willing to completely dismiss you over dating an unlikable a*****e for about a year.
Tabitha 6 hours ago
First, anyone who boasts about “just being honest” as a way to justify their rudeness and cruelty can go f**k themselves. Second, “Schroedinger's D*******g: The person who says something cruel and nasty, then decides whether it was ‘just a joke’ based on the reaction they get.” BOTH 100% apply to Maya, and by association plus not telling her to stop, the supposed “best friend” here. They’re both rotten people, and deserve to be shunned by all of their acquaintances who aren’t also rotten people.
sweet emotion 2 hours ago
Sadistic teasing with an overtone of bullying is not a "love" language, it's a B-rhymes-with-itch language and Maya should be told so......in public......in front of all her friends who tolerate her horrible behavior. Let her be the one who cries and runs away for once. And since Dan is clearly choosing his girlfriend over a past bro-ship, why shouldn't OP choose his own girlfriend????
Eggwodd 5 hours ago
There's a line between being sarcastic in a fun way and that passive aggressive way. I'm a very sarcastic person, but I never use it to make someone feel low. Soooo many times I start to reply to a BP post and then redo it or delete it when I realize that someone may see the more passive aggressive side of it. People like the chick in this story are just plain bullies. I'm sure she's a bully at work too.
Kate Johnson 3 hours ago
Here's what I would do - "I'd go to the party and if Maya started up I'd say "Hey how about for your bf's birthday you forgo the noxious c**t behavior and pretend to be a decent human being?" Then I'd say to Dan if he was upset about it "You're being too sensitive, I'm just giving Miss Brutal Honesty some brutal honesty in return. I figured if it was her "love language" she'd be fine with it."
Kathrin Pukowsky 5 hours ago
I wish I could say this is the weirdest love language I've heard of, but a little while ago I came across a post on reddit where a young man said his love language was "ragebaiting". That already gave me a headache, but apparently what he meant was that he just throws out completely unrelated questions or statements while talking to his girlfriend to make her upset. He made that post because in the middle of talking on the phone he had randomly asked her what she thinks of his pènis size. And she later told him the truth. And he thought about breaking up because he felt so disrespected and hurt. All I could think was "Well, you played yourself, but you played yourself well".
The Starsong Princess 46 minutes ago
She’s not joking. Jokes are funny. She’s a bully, working straight out of the bully’s handbook. Dan doesn’t care because she’s not bullying him. If you want to preserve the friendship, tell him you’ll see him without Maya although I can’t see why you’d bother.
JayWantsACat 47 minutes ago
If you have to follow so many of your comments with "it's just a joke/you're being too sensitive/I'm just being honest/etc" YOU ARE JUST AN A*****E. And "love language" is between loved ones, for you and them to have an understanding of different ways of communication. W*F does "love language" have to do with strangers? Nobody owes you acceptance nor tolerance of even innoculous love language, let alone strangers with an antagonistic one. It's crazy that no one will stand against this a*****e. I get maybe taking it for a 35th birthday, which is hilarious in of itself. 40th? Sure. 35th birthday bash is f*****g stupid. Regardless, I can see putting up with it for this bash but why continue to be friends with such unlikable people? "But but but...we've been through so much!" Yeah, so much that the friend is willing to completely dismiss you over dating an unlikable a*****e for about a year.
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