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Single Mom Panics After Ex Pulls Out Of Paying For Their Daughters’ Christmas Gifts
Two-thirds (67%) of people who buy Christmas presents say they typically begin their shopping by the end of November, including 10% who start in October and 14% who start even earlier.
So when holiday plans fall apart at the last minute, it can be incredibly stressful. That’s exactly what happened to a single mother who goes by ClypoClimb online.
Recently, she turned to the internet to vent about her daughters’ father. He backed out of contributing to their presents, leaving her scrambling with too little money to fulfill the girls’ wishlists.
RELATED:
This single mother thinks she’s barely providing her daughters with everything they need
Image credits: user25451090 (not the actual image)
And this year, Christmas only made her challenges feel even bigger
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
Image credits: prostooleh (not the actual image)
Image credits: ClypoClimb
Christmas stress hits parents the hardest
Christmas requires a lot of planning, organizing, and work, so it can cause quite a headache. But when plans fall apart at the last second, it’s even worse.
A YouGov survey found that in the United Kingdom (where the author of the post is from), 45% of people generally find Christmas to be a stressful experience, with 10% going as far as saying they find it “very” stressful.
However, this burden of stress is not evenly shared, with some groups feeling the strain more than others.
Parents, in particular, tend to have a harder time over the holidays. According to the survey, 52% of those with children under the age of 18 say they find Christmas stressful, compared to 42% of non-parents and parents whose children have already flown the nest.
Even among parents, stress levels are not evenly distributed. Mothers report feeling the burden more than fathers: six in ten moms (62%) say Christmas is a stressful time, including one in six (17%) who describe it as very stressful. By comparison, just 44% of dads report feeling stressed over the holidays.
And while one in six dads (16%) say their Christmases are typically not stressful at all, the same is true for only 6% of moms.
Christmas spending leaves a lot of parents feeling like they’ve failed
Image credits: Liza Springer / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Research from the UK has also found that nearly half (48%) of parents or carers felt they had failed their children because they couldn’t afford the gifts their children were hoping for last Christmas.
As a result, 68% of parents said they were leaning toward giving more practical presents — such as schoolbooks, clothes, or bedding — rather than “fun” gifts.
More than three in ten (31%) parents and carers were concerned that their children themselves were worried about the cost of Christmas and family finances. Meanwhile, over a quarter (28%) feared their children believed they had been “naughty” because they didn’t receive the gifts they wanted.
The mother provided more information about her predicament in the comments
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What do you think ?
BK BigFish 2 weeks ago
My guess is that they live on a very tight budget the rest of the year, so the only time they can "splurge" on something nice is at Christmas - and everyone's assumption was that the Absent Father would be chipping in. Sigh.
Load More Replies...
sturmwesen 3 weeks ago
What about buying a book and setting the rest aside to buy her a piano for her birthday maybe with DD1 attributing a little from her job? They are at an age, where you can talk about stuff like that.
Huddo's sister 3 weeks ago
$100 seems plenty for Christmas presents to me. You don't need to buy the more expensive things. If you have to explain to them that's the budget, so be it, they should understand.
Betsy S 3 weeks ago
And it's not even 100 dollars. It's 100 pounds, which is well more than 100 dollars. Quite a flush budget for sure, but remember that she is their ONLY source of gifts other than what they get each other. So maybe it's not as big as it sounds, but it's what she can afford and no one should ever feel guilty at doing their best.
Load More Replies...
Emilu 3 weeks ago
They're not little kids that need presents from Santa. If you sit them down and explain, hopefully they'll understand. Maybe, depending on their interests/how well they get along, you could combine the money and give them an experience they can share. Or can you stretch and make a larger gift a combined birthday/Christmas present?
Emilu 2 weeks ago (edited)
Personally, if I were in this situation I'd aim for one of the big/bigger presents (eg: skateboard) and also get some of the smaller presents, maybe second-hand if possible (eg: the books). For DD2, maybe the camera or the record player and some beauty things (though beauty things can also be hella expensive depending on brand). Just because it's on the wishlist doesn't mean that you're obliged to purchase everything that's on the wishlist.
Load More Replies...
Debby Keir 3 weeks ago
My ex was a d*******g - never paid support. One Christmas, whilst still trying via the courts to sort out support, I only had about £20 each for presents. HE bought them each a £700 bicycle (for which they were obviously thrilled) Then tried to argue in court that I owed him £700 for my 'share' of the gift.
Nils Skirnir 3 weeks ago
Time to get an attorney. If for no other reason than to get access to father’s finances and ensure OP gets whatever support she can. It’s very unusual anywhere in the Anglosphere for children to receive no support.
Cee Cee 3 weeks ago
I assumed he pays child support and the extra was for Christmas. See no reason to lawyer up and delve into his finances. Has he lost his job? Has a major unexpected expense? I think she should find out why the change of heart.
Load More Replies...
Catherine Kane 2 weeks ago
OP doesn't say why ex isn't contributing. If he's lost his job, it's very different from just being cheap
Marno C. 2 weeks ago
OP needn't feel bad about herself for managing 100quid per kid. This is on dad for leaving her in the lurch and contributing nothing. I wonder if he does much of anything? Sounds like he is pretty absent from their lives and I wonder if that extends to not paying support as well. Sounds like the family generally does without many luxuries, so that explains why mom is upset that one of the two yearly opportunities to treat the kids has been halved through no fault of hers. And, honestly, teens are expensive, even teens with modest wants. It's just the way consumer goods are nowadays, especially for people living close to the poverty line. If I were the mom, I'd be honest with the kids, get them a couple of modest treats and then give them the balance of the cash so that they could decide for themselves. When you don't have a lot, having agency over some discretionary spending can actually be quite powerful.
Amanda the Panda 3 weeks ago
She keeps banging on about what other people are spending on their kids. Her priorities and values are all wrong and she is a bad role model for her children.
Emilu 3 weeks ago
I respectfully disagree that her priorities are wrong, and I think it's a bit rich to say she's a bad role model. Teens are always going to compare gifts, or something cool will come to school and the teen says "oh, I got that for Christmas!" The mother just strikes me as genuinely upset that she can't afford what she thinks (who knows if she's right, mind) other families can, and she's allowed to feel that way. It hardly makes her a bad role model.
Load More Replies...
tameson 3 weeks ago
I'm going against what seems like everyone here and say that the mom has every reason to be upset. Her children are teenagers. They probably need some of the things they are asking for (like the skateboard and the trainers) and they need others to continually develop their interests. Take the keyboard for example. That young woman has already taken the initiative to teach herself piano. You can find good lessons online that are free. But she is not going to move forward without a full-sized, weighted keyboard. Telling her she can't have one could cause her to give up the piano completely. Same thing with the skateboard. When I was a kid we all rode bikes to get around. With my daughter it was a skateboard. It was her main form of transportation for years. Sure, some of the things they asked for are relatively trivial, but some are important. I don't blame the mom for being devastated. Dad is an AH.
JK 3 weeks ago
Christmas isnt a "pagan festival" its literally the opposite of "pagan". Yes, it has become heavily monetised and no longer has it's original Christian values, but then neither has anything, least of all Christians!
Load More Replies... 
BK BigFish 2 weeks ago
My guess is that they live on a very tight budget the rest of the year, so the only time they can "splurge" on something nice is at Christmas - and everyone's assumption was that the Absent Father would be chipping in. Sigh.
Load More Replies... sturmwesen 3 weeks ago
What about buying a book and setting the rest aside to buy her a piano for her birthday maybe with DD1 attributing a little from her job? They are at an age, where you can talk about stuff like that.
Huddo's sister 3 weeks ago
$100 seems plenty for Christmas presents to me. You don't need to buy the more expensive things. If you have to explain to them that's the budget, so be it, they should understand.
Betsy S 3 weeks ago
And it's not even 100 dollars. It's 100 pounds, which is well more than 100 dollars. Quite a flush budget for sure, but remember that she is their ONLY source of gifts other than what they get each other. So maybe it's not as big as it sounds, but it's what she can afford and no one should ever feel guilty at doing their best.
Load More Replies... Emilu 3 weeks ago
They're not little kids that need presents from Santa. If you sit them down and explain, hopefully they'll understand. Maybe, depending on their interests/how well they get along, you could combine the money and give them an experience they can share. Or can you stretch and make a larger gift a combined birthday/Christmas present?
Emilu 2 weeks ago (edited)
Personally, if I were in this situation I'd aim for one of the big/bigger presents (eg: skateboard) and also get some of the smaller presents, maybe second-hand if possible (eg: the books). For DD2, maybe the camera or the record player and some beauty things (though beauty things can also be hella expensive depending on brand). Just because it's on the wishlist doesn't mean that you're obliged to purchase everything that's on the wishlist.
Load More Replies... Debby Keir 3 weeks ago
My ex was a d*******g - never paid support. One Christmas, whilst still trying via the courts to sort out support, I only had about £20 each for presents. HE bought them each a £700 bicycle (for which they were obviously thrilled) Then tried to argue in court that I owed him £700 for my 'share' of the gift.
Nils Skirnir 3 weeks ago
Time to get an attorney. If for no other reason than to get access to father’s finances and ensure OP gets whatever support she can. It’s very unusual anywhere in the Anglosphere for children to receive no support.
Cee Cee 3 weeks ago
I assumed he pays child support and the extra was for Christmas. See no reason to lawyer up and delve into his finances. Has he lost his job? Has a major unexpected expense? I think she should find out why the change of heart.
Load More Replies... Catherine Kane 2 weeks ago
OP doesn't say why ex isn't contributing. If he's lost his job, it's very different from just being cheap
Marno C. 2 weeks ago
OP needn't feel bad about herself for managing 100quid per kid. This is on dad for leaving her in the lurch and contributing nothing. I wonder if he does much of anything? Sounds like he is pretty absent from their lives and I wonder if that extends to not paying support as well. Sounds like the family generally does without many luxuries, so that explains why mom is upset that one of the two yearly opportunities to treat the kids has been halved through no fault of hers. And, honestly, teens are expensive, even teens with modest wants. It's just the way consumer goods are nowadays, especially for people living close to the poverty line. If I were the mom, I'd be honest with the kids, get them a couple of modest treats and then give them the balance of the cash so that they could decide for themselves. When you don't have a lot, having agency over some discretionary spending can actually be quite powerful.
Amanda the Panda 3 weeks ago
She keeps banging on about what other people are spending on their kids. Her priorities and values are all wrong and she is a bad role model for her children.
Emilu 3 weeks ago
I respectfully disagree that her priorities are wrong, and I think it's a bit rich to say she's a bad role model. Teens are always going to compare gifts, or something cool will come to school and the teen says "oh, I got that for Christmas!" The mother just strikes me as genuinely upset that she can't afford what she thinks (who knows if she's right, mind) other families can, and she's allowed to feel that way. It hardly makes her a bad role model.
Load More Replies... tameson 3 weeks ago
I'm going against what seems like everyone here and say that the mom has every reason to be upset. Her children are teenagers. They probably need some of the things they are asking for (like the skateboard and the trainers) and they need others to continually develop their interests. Take the keyboard for example. That young woman has already taken the initiative to teach herself piano. You can find good lessons online that are free. But she is not going to move forward without a full-sized, weighted keyboard. Telling her she can't have one could cause her to give up the piano completely. Same thing with the skateboard. When I was a kid we all rode bikes to get around. With my daughter it was a skateboard. It was her main form of transportation for years. Sure, some of the things they asked for are relatively trivial, but some are important. I don't blame the mom for being devastated. Dad is an AH.
JK 3 weeks ago
Christmas isnt a "pagan festival" its literally the opposite of "pagan". Yes, it has become heavily monetised and no longer has it's original Christian values, but then neither has anything, least of all Christians!
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