Parents are often judged too harshly for their behavior. If their kids eat a meal without any vegetables present, the internet will be in an uproar. And if a little one manages to escape from mom’s sight in the grocery store, other shoppers might assume that she doesn’t care about her kiddos.
Parents are human beings, and they shouldn’t be crucified for every small mistake. But there are some behaviors that are unforgivable and deserve to be called out. Redditors have recently been discussing things moms and dads do that immediately make them look trashy, so we’ve gathered some of their best replies below. Enjoy scrolling through these examples of what not to do while raising kids, and be sure to upvote the parenting choices that would make you raise your eyebrows too!
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Not vaccinating.
All the antivaxers need to do a bit more research into how the diseases the vaccines are intended to prevent can and might affect their children. They died from polio. They died from the measles. And those that didn’t die were often left with crippling aftereffects. We are supposed to be an intelligent species. How can people be so stupid?!
Using their kids to create YouTube channels… And using it as their personal source of income….
Putting their child in a beauty pageant.
Beauty pageants need to just stop. We are already putting too much pressure on girls to be pretty and popular. To do that from the age of two just seems horribly narcissistic of the mothers. Let children be children. Let them get dirty and drink from the hose and catch bugs and frogs. Don’t dress them in sexy outfits and a ton of makeup when they aren’t even old enough to be out of diapers! I’ll get off my soapbox now
Their children are afraid of them.
They ignore their kids until other adults have had to correct their kid's behavior.
Once, at the park, kids decided to climb up the slide while me and my lil sibling were already sliding. The parents of the other kids blamed us, my mom was NOT having it. It escalated quickly and eventually a staff member had to show us the security footage. Needless to say the other kids parents shut up upon seeing it.
Obese kids.
tsh87:
Agreed.
Chubby kids are fine, even fat kids. But a kid should not be literally obese at like 5 years old. You're the adult, you're in charge of their diet and routine. Their weight should not be getting out of hand.
I know I talk about a small minority, but an existing problem: there are obese children whose parents are innocent. Just an example: any problem with the leptin or leptin receptor (usually genetic problem) will lead to obesity. Not may, not could, but will.
The way they treat their child in public.
You know it's worse behind closed doors.
Lately, I find it so rare to see parents who seem to genuinely like their kids. Most of them just treat their kid like a nuisance and constantly scold them even though they're not doing anything THAT bad. Makes me feel bad for the kid.
Referring to spending time with their child/children as “babysitting”. No, that’s called parenting.
No, that’s called valuable bonding time. Take it from me, my dad was recovering from the war with PTSD and severe injuries when I was little all the way till I turned 6. He didn’t spend time with me and even a decade later, I still have that empty gap in my childhood that I can’t fill, even though he spends LOTS of time with me now, my heart will always feel something missing there.
Putting their need to be in a relationship over the wellbeing of their children.
Insulting their children, in front of their children.
This hurts so bad. Experienced this all throughout my childhood. Still do to this day. I will never be good enough.
Joining a group like one million moms to get things you think your kids shouldn't see banned instead of taking the time to raise your kids yourself.
You don’t get to decide what is appropriate for my child. I’m the only one that is allowed to do the. I’m the parent of this child. If you don’t want your child to read this book, watch this show, be taught this thing, then just don’t allow it for YOUR child. Not mine
Using the excuse "how am I going to explain this to my children" in regards to controversial or sexual things. Being honest with your kids about the world around them can only help them. Instead parents think it's someone else's responsibility, and here we have 16 year olds who don't know anything about safe sex.
It doesn't have to be this big, formal, one time talk at the table when you think they are at the right age. Kids are learning this stuff in elementary school. Just talk with them about it like you're talking with them about anything else. Takes the edge and awkwardness off a bit when it doesn't come across as a stern, judgmental lecture.
They name their kid "X Æ A-12".
Radiant_Bank_77879:
This, but in general names that end up on R/tragedeigh.
Braxxton, McKennslieigh, Addyzn, Wyntyr, Braden Aden Jaden Caden Haden, Nevaeh, etc.
Trashy parents who think of naming as “cute baby names” and not a name an adult will have.
Living through your kid. Your kid is not you. (Seriously, that should be told to every parent, right along with the "don't shake the baby" speech you get at the hospital.) And your kid is not a vector through which to either relive your glory days, relive your dreams, or make money.
I think my dad expects me to get bulging muscles and go to f*****g Harvard because of the way he treats me. I know he's looking out for me, but life now is WAY harder than it was when he was a kid. Add that to the fact that I have multiple mental disabilities. It's no wonder I used to be suidicaI. Since I've been refusing to do school, my mental health has improved SO MUCH, and I'm no longer suicidaI. But my dad continues to try to abuse me. I can't even get another psychiatrist because he won't let me, even though I desperately need medication.
Read about 100 of these and I found one that wasn’t mentioned - being in a place that is very loud or with very loud music with babies. I see it often a kid under 5 will be in a room with a loud band for over an hour. The kids always have a concerned look and don’t want to be there.
If you insist on taking you child to a place with loud noise or music, at least give them ear protection!
When the kid is being babysat by the phone all the time.
A few years ago, I saw a preschooler with an Iphone 13. It honestly disturbed me, as I'm in h**h school now and I'm literally stuck with a Gabb phone that barely works. What the heck is wrong with parents nowadays?
Soda or juice in baby bottles.
Juice in bottles, occasionally but it’s bad for their teeth. Soda in bottles?! WTF are you thinking?!
Smoking in the car with the kids in the car.
Now illegal in Manitoba. Thank goodness. I have a analogy for what that looks like but I know it's not what people want to hear.
Calling their kids dumb or stupid. Pisses me off.
My mum called me "thick", "stupid" and "useless" almost every day of my life when I was growing up. I eventually started to believe her, and even now, decades later, I still don't consider myself to be bright.
When a parent is so inattentive that their older child is essentially raising the younger children, 24/7.
To the point where the younger child is stuck with a broken leg for two weeks, before getting attention for it. Accidental attention, because the parent was completely unaware of the fact that this is why the child is refusing to walk and screaming in pain every time they're forced to. Just because you *can* have kids, doesn't mean you'll be good at it, or even should.
My mom had 4(including me) and she definitely raised us all. I help out sometimes, but I definitely don’t raise them! (I help by playing with them and watching them so she has time to shower every now and then, making sure that when she needs to use the bathroom my roughy lil sibling isnt hurting the infant one, etc)
Not listening to doctors, health studies, or any recent health info that has come out.
They’re not watching their kid when they’re out in public.
It only take a second. Kids are so fast and stealthy. There's nothing wrong with getting something to tether them to you. I had to and most people didn't say anything or said it was a good idea. Only one person was appalled because they said they tried to get leash and harnesses banned for safety concerns. Apparently her nephew got strangled in one from playing around with it alone.
People who hit their kids to teach their kids that hitting is bad.
When you say something like "If you don't stop doing X then we are going home." and then when they don't stop, you don't go home.
Worse is when they are throwing a fit and you try to bribe them to stop doing something. *kid screaming* "do you want X?" *kid nods and you give them the thing* Congrats, you just paid them to throw a fit next time.
I knew a girl who was talking about changing her daughter’s diaper and used the word ‘p**sy’ when referring to her infant daughter’s genitalia, which has always struck me as horrifying.
Never sending their child to school.
I have never understood homeschooling and never will. Children need interaction with other children their age to develop social skills
Threatening them with store employees “sit down or that lady is going to yell at you” I always say who me? Why would I do that?
Scuta44:
The lady in line at the grocery store telling her toddler ‘that man is going to spank you’ while pointing at me.
He had just asked his mom for a candy.
Disgusting. I've had parents run to the washroom while leaving toddlers alone in the toy aisle, expecting me to watch them. As if I don't have other pressing duties I'm expected to be doing, on a time count.
My friend used to tell her daughter, "Why don't you act more like did_it_right's daughter. She's behaving, why can't you be more like her?"
THAT would make my skin crawl.
I just posted this not 10 seconds ago.
I work as a cashier at the register closest to the door. I naturally look up when someone leaves or come in. A woman and her son come in, the son is annoying the mom so much she has to buy aspirin. He asked for a candy bar, she wouldn't respond yes or no but, "shut up!"
Each time he asks he gets closer to the door, after like the 4th he opens the door. I glance up, he sees me and pretends to put the candy back. After he pretends he puts it in the hand opposite of me so I couldn't see. He again opens the door while I'm ringing the mom up, making me look up again for the second time.
Second time the mom looks up as well, sees the son trying to steal and proceeds to yell.. at *me*. Saying I'm a racist, that I'm profiling her son because he's black, saying that I'm call her a bad mom for thinking she'd let him steal.
Actually lady, I wasn't but you seriously are. All you did in the store was tell him to 'shut the f**k up' and then took his side when he was clearly trying to leave with the candy.
(Side note: kid comes in with his grandmother and cousins a lot. They regularly leave while she's paying to eat in the car so I assume that's what he would of pulled)
No, I don't not like your son because he's black so don't tell him that it's why I 'profiled' him. I don't like *you* because you think screaming at me is going to get your way over on my management, that playing the race card is going to seal the deal and now your son is afraid of me because he thinks I hate him. *YOU* made it about race, teaching him that all white people are ignorant now from this one instance.
I had a similar situation in a gas station once. This woman spend about 60 dollars on lottery scratchers then yelled at her kids because they were complaining that they hadn't eaten all day. It was around 2pm. Still infuriates me.
No follow through. They are behind you at the ice cream stand, the kids is being a s**t stain, mom says "If you don't stop you won't get ice cream." Kid doesn't stop, mom threatens the same thing, 4 more times, and the kid gets ice cream anyway.
Tip from a guy who's doing his best to raise 2 non-a******s: Follow. Through. If you don't, you're setting a bunch of bad examples at once. 1) Your threats are worthless. 2)The behavior isn't that bad anyway. 3) The kids runs the show.
I used to work in a bookshop (r.i.p Borders), and remember seeing this sweet looking kid pestering her mum for this picture book. The mum just turned to the kid and yelled "I'm not reading to you. You're having a DVD instead."
This was like 2006, so DVDs were way more expensive than picture books. Broke my heart. Poor kid just wanted her mum to read her a story, but the mum just wanted to dump the kid in front of the tv.
I think about it all the time. That kid had no chance. I bet she's grown up to be just like her mother too.
Hopefully not. Some kids grow up opposite their parents. Reading is more important and better for your kids than watching movies all the time. At least have some balance.
Their child can do no wrong, it's everyone else's fault, and they will prove that to you through screaming.
they've deafened their ears due to the amount of screaming loud idiocy flowing out of their mouths, so they can hear themselves :D
When the kid is a terror in public and the parent's approach is to either let the kid run wild or just shout at it.
Been working retail for a good, long time now. The one that stands out to me the most is the one that you could follow the progress of mum through the store by the screaming of the child
Oh when they overly pride themselves as cool parents.
These are usually the ones without rules, who give the ipad just to shut a kid up, fail to teach their kids integral lessons at home (argument being they will learn when they are thrusted into the real world). Just irresponsible and not attuned.
Here's a list of things that a former friend and his wife did:
1.) Named the kids after Norse Gods. Yes it was a weird race thing so don't at me. I'm pretty sure he was friends with me because I was one of the non threatening non whites.
2.) Discipline was non existent.
3.) Neglect to fix a window that the kids accidentally broke because that money would have come out of the Playstation budget.
4.) Refuse to buy a more practical vehicle that suited family needs because a truck was more "manly."
5.) Openly have screaming matches in front of the kids.
6.) Generally just not be nurturing.
7.) Spend all their money on frivolous things instead of essentials for the kids.
8.) Don't even try to cleanup around the house. Some mess is understandable especially with three young kids, but they pt in zero effort.
9.) Didn't vaccinate any of the kids.
10.) Just negligent as s**t.
11.) Get multiple visits from child protective services and don't listen to any of the recommendations.
Using excessive profanity in front of their kids or telling inappropriate stories in front of their young children.
I work in a medical clinic:
Kids who come in smelling like cigarettes
Kids with dirt under their nails consistently
Kids with ear wax dripping out of their ears consistently
Kids who are 8.9,10 etc years old and don't know their birth dates yet
Parents who don't know what medications their kids are on
Parents who are on their cell phones gabbing when I am calling you back for the appointment (and yes I will absolutely just talk over your conversation)
Parents who don't tell their kids to turn the volume off their electronics in the lobby and when your appointment is starting
Parents who can't be bothered to comb their kids hair ever
Parents whose kids come in with filthy stinky a*s clothes (I've been poor as f**k and once washed clothes in a bathtub, no excuse)
Whole families that have that dirty house cat pee smell
Parents who scream at clinic staff for their errors, or yell at their kids in public
Parents who drop their teenagers off for brand new appointments and then get pissed off we call to them to ask where they are???
Oh I could go on and on...
Parents think their teenagers are just "little adults". My folks would tell me to call the school, myself, if I needed to stay home. Then get mad at me because the school would call them at work and tell them they had to call me in sick.
Telling a crying infant to shut up.
I've seen other adults telling people's babies to "shut up". People need to chill. Even the parents. Although, I would like the think the parents just spew it out, out of exhaustion and frustration and feel pretty terrible afterwards.
Not treating their waiter/waitress respectfully.
This one just makes you a trashy person not specifically a trashy parent.
Asking for help with school clothes, groceries etc. , while never being without cigarettes or new tattoos.
Some people need to learn how to priotise their spending and to differentiate between luxuries and necessities. I once knew a couple witn two kids who claimed they couldn't afford to eat every day. They could however, afford a state of the art tv, a state of the art sound system, hundreds of CDs (this was back in the 1990s), a brand new PlayStation with dozens of games, they ran a huge car and smoked 20 cigarettes a day each. Priorities.
I work in fast food and have seen the worst of parents.
One time a mother, her boyfriend (i don't think he was a husband), and her child, mother and boyfriend got full meals with substitutions and all the extra stuff, daughter got a small fry, and the mother complained about money to me whenever her child asked for a drink. If she didn't buy the damn drink I would've just given it to the kid.
Multiple instances of parents having their toddlers in the front seat with no car seat, oftentimes without even a seat belt.
Parent's allowing their children to touch holiday decor/other people's things in public.
Parents ordering their obese 6 year old a half pound meal large with a shake.
I could go on forever.
Saw a woman on the bus years ago with two 6-9 year olds.
They were standing up a little bit when they shouldn't have, as kids do, and her first instinct was to go to:
"SIT DOWN OR YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY CHRISTMAS PRESENTS".
It was June.
Like really, that's your FIRST go to? did you already take away their birthday presents at the bus stop or something?
As a frequent bus rider, this is just a parent's way of scaring the kids just enough to obey for their safety. I've been on busses where the driver has had to slam on the breaks suddenly. My daughter has been injured from sitting on my lap. The only place that is safe is a stroller with brakes on and the parent holding the stroller, or the child is in their own seat, sitting properly. My daughter has a permanent injury rendering her disabled from a bus accident. I do not condemn parents for trying to get their kids to sit still. I do condemn parents who let their kids climb all over the seat and run down the aisles while the bus is moving without doing anything.
Kids with loud iPads/phones in public.
This doesn't bother me as much as the gangster-wannabe blasting their s****y monotone rap on the bus and in the malls while covering their face with bandanas. Usually so loud I can hear it under the music I'm blasting on full with my earphones. Makes me tempted to take my earphones out to create a clash of Drake and Billy Talent.
The condition of their children is a dead give away.
Children with poor mental health, who show crystal clear signs of being ab*sed or neglected.
This is something to tread carefully. I do not judge parents at all for this until I know what is going on, and actions taken to help their teens. Some kids hide their mental health struggles from their parents. But the parents could be well-aware and be actively providing help to their kids. Things don't get resolved overnight. It can take a few years of therapy. Some abuses are not from at home, but at school, too.
My cousin has ruined her son. People who meet him think he's "special" because he can't be away from her. He's turning 13 and still sleeps in bed with his mother, follows her even to the bathroom, and has absolutely no friends.
She lets him miss way too much school. If she's off from work he magically isn't feeling well and stays home.
She also lets him do and see anything he wants. The kid was watching True Blood when he was little. If you haven't seen it, people are regularly f*****g each other, tearing bodies apart, and sometimes combining the two. He also has seen all of the 50 Shades movies with his mom.
It's just bad.
Yelling at them because they don't meet your completely unrealistic expectations. Like, dude, it's a group of 4-6 year old boys, they're not going to sit patiently in their chair for six hours straight.
I'm not saying they should be allowed to do whatever, but I just watched a guy get after his kid pretty hard because he was running around in their yard with the neighbor boys. He also made his kid call him "sir".
I saw a family in the produce section of Walmart. There was a mom with four to five kids and one of them (a little boy) had a produce bag on his head. Totally on his head, covering his nose and mouth. Out of reflex I said "No" and yanked the bag off his head. The mom glared at me and basically told me to F off. Fine, have fun with one less kid lady. As I left he was putting the bag back over his head...
natural selection has done it's course, and it's done it well....
Letting their young kids curse up a storm and laughing because it's "funny" or just cursing back at them.
A two year old cussing is not funny. It’s just sad. It’s your job to teach them about grown up words
Overheard a mum refuse to buy kid yogurt because "it was too expensive"
Looked on the trolly to see several bottles of alcohol in there.
Kids are always dirty looking and the parent has some weird idea that kids don’t need bathing frequently. I knew a lady who only gave her seven kids a bath on Wednesdays. She had some kinda belief that it builds an immune system to be constantly dirty, but go figure her kids were always stinky and sick.
Its the crusties on their cheeks from a meal more than 24 hours prior, super knotted hair, and the faint smell of hotdog water that gets me. I won't mom shame for stained, but cleanish clothes, mismatched socks, or messy hair. But there's a difference between choosing your battles and general neglect.
Not paying child support.
My son/daughter is my best friend!
My girls are my best friends. But they’re also grown a*s adults. If you aren’t following through a parent, be a parent. Your 10 year old is not your bestie
Bringing their baby out in the cold with no shoes on.
They have indoctrinated their child into their superstition/religion.
My mom is always proud she raised me an atheist, but I turned into Hellenism a few years ago. A couple weeks ago we had a talk about religion and she said she hated that my father's wife's mom gave me a tiny cross necklace when I was young because she obviously wanted to make me religious (she was not, I asked her because I thought it was pretty). I then told my mom that the book she gave me about Greeks myths turned me Hellenist more than the cross necklace turned me Christian, and by the Gods the face she made !
Letting their kids (under 10) watch horror movies or raunchy comedies.
The idea that once your kid turns 18 they're on their own. that's not the norm anywhere but the first world and it stems purely from selfishness or incompetence.
I believe you have a duty to your kids for bringing them into this hellscape, and if you simply don't love them enough to make their life easier then you should admit that to yourself, that you are weak, and a bug.
Never did this. Never would. My girls understood that they had a home for as long as they needed it. They paid their own cell phone bills and anything else they wanted for themselves. They were always totally happy to contribute to groceries and that sort of thing. But I never charged them rent
Letting a kid just wear a diaper in public. A child over the age of 3 with a pacifier. A child over the age of 5 still in diapers.
With the exception of kids with disabilities, of course. I don't judge parents when I don't know the situation. But I've had acquaintances, co-workers, friends of friends and such who did stuff like this and I thought they were lazy parents.
My youngest used a pacifier until around age four. She finally lost the last one and I refused to buy any more. But she was potty trained by age two. Every child is different and boys and first children take a bit longer to get going potty. But diapers at the age of five is just laziness on the parents part
Letting their kids walk around in places like grocery stores and hospitals barefoot and/or shirtless.
As a teacher, I could tell when the parent wouldn’t do their children’s hair for school or changing them into fresh clothes everyday.
“Momma bear” when her kids look dirty, ratty, and are sick all the time. You don’t need to be rude or overbearing to be a good parent. Someone that just yells at their kids instead of trying to explain why they are doing something wrong or at least trying to reinforce better behaviors. Basically she’s also a walking MLM billboard on Facebook and spreads misinformation. Let’s just say about Half of my graduated High School class, as a now mid 30’s male.
I work retail security on the side. Always amusing when a parent shows up annoyed that we inconvenienced them when their kid stole.
Probably because the parents put their kids up to it. It happens more than I want to believe.
Love my dad, but I could definitely tell people thought my dad was trashy
We were clean, always dressed nice (for average farm kids anyways), my dad made sure we were Presentable
...But we used his chew cans for *everything*. This included Jenga, by the way. We actually played Jenga, from his chewing tobacco cans
Why buy dumb blocks for $10?!
He did wash them out very well to be fair, but they were still chew cans. In the hands of kids
Loose nails? Chew can!
Stamps? Chew can!
Want a change purse? No point in wasting money, Leather, I'll wash out a can for ya!
Need to bring those box tops to school? Chew can!
Wanna take some mints from the big bag? Chew can!
We even had some of the ones my grandpa gave him to use. This was a family tradition
My dad strongly believed in Don't Stand Out In Public, but I think that one was so ingrained in him from *his* dad, it didn't register as 'unusual'
They did the job, to be fair, and he knew they fit in your pocket!
People in town got used to it, they knew he wasn't giving us the tobacco in them
But it was always fun, running into a gas station to buy a candy bar (with my own money, cuz I'm a Big Kid), and seeing the look on this grown-up's face, when this little girl pulled out a tobacco can out of her pocket to pay
He stopped chewing inside, after my older brother started to walk, and pulled down his cup. And always made sure to brush his teeth when he came in
But chewing tobacco, and those cans, were a huge part of our childhood. All of our jeans had those rings
Definitely trashy, looking from the outside, but I can respect the recycling .
“I’m not a regular mom.”
When you look in the shopping cart and they have those gallon jugs of brightly colored sugar water.
Red hats are usually a giveaway.
Little Red Riding Hood, firemen, Cincinatti Reds, and matrons of the Red Hat Society - all fine. Maga or church cardinals - beware.
They drink every day and see nothing wrong with it or even try to change. Ultimately they will ruin their children’s entire lives and that child will grow to be someone that has trouble navigating relationships, finances, literally everything.
They charge their offspring rent to live with them in the family home.
I can understand this for teaching responsibility. Some parents hoard the "rent" away as a college or trust fund that the kids get back, and wouldn't actually toss their kids out if they weren't able to pay for a month. It's the ones that charge rent or get out I think should be charged.
When you can't find a photo of the child without an orange Kool-Aid mustache.
It's the ones with orange hair on their scalps that you got to watch out for.
Wearing PJ pants in public tells me all that I need to know about you.
I don’t understand the problem with this. As long as your bits are covered, who cares
1. Parents who do nothing but scream and shout and swear at their kids. My next door neighbour does this day in, day out and she's so loud that you can hear every word. No doubt when those poor kids are grown up they will also scream and shout and swear at their kids because they don't know any different. 2. Parents who neglect and/or abuse their kids because they're addicted to d***s. 3. Parents who neglect or abuse their kids, not because they're addicted to d***s, but because they're just downright evil scumbags. IMO anybody who deliberately harms a defenceless baby or child should automatically get the death penalty. No ifs, no buts, no exceptions. 3. Parents who smoke cigarettes around their babies and young children.
I'm sure my neighbors think I'm shrew. What they don't hear are the first 2 times I asked nicely. And now I have to take something away. In which case my kid screams bloody m****r. Or I have to yell at him to get it done. Before kids, swore I'd never yell. But this particular child refuses to do a lot. I honestly think he has ODD. So there's yelling.
Load More Replies...1. Parents who do nothing but scream and shout and swear at their kids. My next door neighbour does this day in, day out and she's so loud that you can hear every word. No doubt when those poor kids are grown up they will also scream and shout and swear at their kids because they don't know any different. 2. Parents who neglect and/or abuse their kids because they're addicted to d***s. 3. Parents who neglect or abuse their kids, not because they're addicted to d***s, but because they're just downright evil scumbags. IMO anybody who deliberately harms a defenceless baby or child should automatically get the death penalty. No ifs, no buts, no exceptions. 3. Parents who smoke cigarettes around their babies and young children.
I'm sure my neighbors think I'm shrew. What they don't hear are the first 2 times I asked nicely. And now I have to take something away. In which case my kid screams bloody m****r. Or I have to yell at him to get it done. Before kids, swore I'd never yell. But this particular child refuses to do a lot. I honestly think he has ODD. So there's yelling.
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