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30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done
We all value our partners. The warmth, love and companionship we get from sharing a life with someone is one of the most rewarding things about being human, but living in such close proximity to someone can have its awkward moments too...
Sometimes your beloved can shock you with the dumb things that they say or do. You thought you knew them so well, but we are all capable of the odd brainfart, aren't we?
Someone took to AskReddit recently to ask the question “What’s the dumbest thing your significant other has said or done?,” and it had us all scrolling through suspiciously. She didn't, did she?
Luckily for me, my secret shames are safe for now. The thread quickly went viral as people couldn't resist spilling the beans about 'that time,' and the examples are as baffling as they are hilarious. Scroll down below to check them out for yourself, and share your own in the comments!
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#1
I had a kid prior to getting together with my fiancée and having a second daughter. The father of my eldest is not in the picture and my wonderful fiancée has taken her on as his own. To the point that he frequently forgets that she isn’t his genetic offspring.
We were at a holiday party at his parents house. I was talking to my future SIL about my eldest and her night terrors when fiancée pops off with “she gets that from my side of the family...” cue really confused faces all around. His sister sat there and started questioning what other genetic diseases my eldest has magically got from stepdad. It took a few minutes before he figured it out. I love this man...
Gaia Campbell 6 years ago
Omg! I do this with my step dad as well. He raised me since I was 2. Any of my dominant traits I say I get it from him since a lot of things I do is from him anyways. He is the greatest man on earth and today is also his birthday. <3
Molly Block 6 years ago
I thought this piece was about the "dumbest things your SO has said or done," not the SWEETEST things! What a great fiancé he is. He's a keeper!
RELATED:
#2
I’ll answer for my wife. I had gone to Home Depot to pick up a trailer hitch ball for my truck. I didn’t realize that they had different shaft sizes, and I didn’t know which size I needed, so I called my wife and this conversation took place:
Me: “Are you at the house?” Her: “Yeah, why?” Me: “Can you go out to the driveway and measure the hole in the bumper of my truck? It should be either 1/2-inch or 3/4-inch.”
There’s a pause...
Her: “Isn’t your truck with you?”
Yes. Yes it was. That was how I had gotten to Home Depot. I forgot.
Nadine 6 years ago
That's not stupidity; it's just a brain fart and it can happen to anyone. Once I was on my cell phone talking to my husband and frantically searching my purse for...my cell phone. lol
Lars Lasersson 6 years ago
Oh, yes. And on the same theme: I had walked to a grocery store and coming back I saw my car parked outside my apartment and thought: "Oh look, I'm here already".
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chi-wei shen 6 years ago
At least he accepts responsibility and knows when he is the dumb one.
Sophie Warner 6 years ago
My Dad once thought he had forgotten where he parked or that his car had been stolen. He spent ages looking for his car with no luck, so he reported it to the police & got a taxi home. There outside the house sits his car. My Mum had gone into town on the bus, but forgotten that was how she was getting home when she saw the car. She wasn't expecting to see it, as my Dad was at work in it. Little did she know he had finished early & was in the florists buying her flowers planning to surprise her. Mum saw the car unexpectedly, & this surprise may have caused the brain fart. She used her car key, which was on her key ring, got in & drove home, leaving my Dad confused & stranded. He saw the funny side eventually & she liked her (slightly wilted) flowers!
Sophie Warner 6 years ago
My mum calls me my sister's name or my daughter's name more often than my own name! She has always done it & I am so used to it I answer to any of the three. I have given up trying to correct her after 38 years! I have drawn a line however & refuse to answer when she calls me my dad's name, or my son's name, or worse the name of any of the pets we have/previously owned. I am not a dude or a house pet! At least I don't think I am...
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Sonia Górnicz 6 years ago
i was searching for my phone in panic attack for 5 min then i realized it was in my hand the whole time , #facepalm
María Hermida 6 years ago
My ex boss once walked to the garage because he wanted to have his car washed. He didn't realise he had left the car at home until the puzzled employee asked him where the car was...
#3
On the phone trying to describe where we are to her parents:
“We are behind the car that’s in front of us.”
I lost it.
Withnail 6 years ago
I do it to my wife. She "loves" it. Also, I'm a dad, so I'm allowed to make jokes like this.
Nordlys 6 years ago
I've "bumped" into you so many times in posts I've read recently, that from now on I'm saying hello when I see you.
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María Hermida 6 years ago
I love pestering people who ring me and ask me "what are you doing?". My answer: "talking to you".
Captain Foley 6 years ago
then again my bus driver was wondering why a parked car hadn't been moving for so long and was delaying everyone
KarmaQueen 6 years ago
Some of the dumb things we say without thinking. It happens to the best of us.
JF 6 years ago
After dating for a few months, ex-wife moved in with me. She's a Bioengineer & i work in Tech Support. I'm on my PC & from another room, asks if i'm on the PC could I look up some information for her : Me : "Sure." Her : "You type www.googl......" Me : "Do you know what line of work i'm in ?!??
Sophie Warner 6 years ago (edited)
This is similar to when my teenagers ask what is for dinner. ME- "Food". Them- "What kind of food?" Me- "Human food". Them- "Stop being daft & answer PROPERLY! What is for dinner?" Me- "Properly!" This is my petty revenge for the conversation that goes; Me- "I'm going shopping do you want anything in particular bringing back?" Them- "We need snacks." Me- "What kind of snacks?" Them- "I don't know." Me- "Well what do you want for tea then?" Them- "I don't know, surprise me!" Me- "OK, I'm not going shopping! Surprise!?!"
#4
My parents have an extremely ugly little dog. Like, this thing is unfortunate. A cross between a Chihuahua and some sort of lesser demon. Buggy eyes, underbite, just ugly. And she picks on my dogs, so she's not my favorite.
But this little creature adores my husband. One day, he came in to my parents' house from work (I was already there) and ugly dog runs up to him like she just won the lottery. He scoops her up, laughing, and completely without thinking, he said, "Ticktockmaven, why is it that only the ugly girls like me?"
There was dead silence, and his expression blanched in slow motion. It was like someone looking down and realizing they had **** all over the floor. I said nothing, just got up and walked outside, the sounds of his pitiful grovelling following me. "Not you!! I didn't mean you!! Oh my God, I am so sorry, I didn't..."
I know he meant nothing by it, but to this day my entire family gives him **** for it. He definitely paid for the faux pas, lol.
Ashley McMath 6 years ago
I used to joke that only really weird and clingy guys liked me. I learned to stop making that joke after making in front of my guy friend(who was an ex) and my husband at the same time 😬
Enuya 6 years ago
Is this poor dog's name Ticktockmaven? What is the genesis of this name at all? And can you shorten it somehow?
ChiveChilly 6 years ago
No, it's the name of the wife. Her actual name is Joanna Poe. (Sources for all BP images, stories, etc. are in grey just below the bottom left corner of the post.)
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Michaela Fieberling 6 years ago
My guy sometimes says stuff like that (I know he doesn't mean it and he loves me, words are just not his best friends *lol*) but I often fake being offended and we have a good laugh about it^^ Maybe thats what she went for?
#5
In high school, my girlfriend said, "Do you know what I just realized? There's no state that starts with the letter F!"
We went to school in Florida.
David Viesta 6 years ago
According to Virginia residents, all the states begin with an "F", since it's like: F*cking Alabama, F*cking Arizona, F*cking California, and so on.
#6
One time my husband called me at work, "Babe, you're gonna be mad, I made a mess but don't worry I'll fix it!" I didn't even ask, just sighed, because he is basically Lucy from I Love Lucy. When I got home a little bit later it was to a living room COVERED in gray powder, my husband completely filthy with a trash bag and broom and a super panicked look on his face. Turned out he'd decided to help around the house and wanted to clean the fireplace, he'd just decided the best way to do it would be to stand in front of it with a trash bag and use the leaf blower to blow the ashes in.
Spoiler - that doesnt work. I didn't want to hurt his feelings but I laughed my ass off and it's still one of my favorite weird things he's done
Sophie Warner 6 years ago (edited)
My dad got my mum a picture she liked for Christmas, so she asked him to put it up for her while she cooked Christmas dinner. My dad (who had two non-medical doctorates) and my uncle (who installed alarm systems for a living), got the drill, screws, rawlplugs etc & got started. My mum wanted it hung near a light switch, so they decided to drill above & to the side of the switch where it would not be near the cable. They didn't know that the cable had a dogleg in it & didn't just run straight. My dad drilled straight through a mains cable. He wasn't electrocuted luckily, however he blew not only the electrics in our whole house, but also the local transformer blew. It was 11:30am on Christmas day. Everybody's Christmas dinner must have been half cooked..... The power didn't go back on until 4pm. This was about 30 years ago & we lived in quite a rural area that was prone to power cuts. So when this happened we just went & stood about moaning, the same as all the neighbours & told nobody!
Janine O'Flaherty 6 years ago
That's actually ridiculously adorable. I have a partner who's terrible around the house as well, but at least the one in this story tried, lol. I asked mine to stop trying a long time ago because he has a way of making everything break or explode, and has no idea what he's doing and is too lazy to learn. We've agreed that I'm the designated handywoman.
Dee M 1 year ago
Why are you talking like your husband is an underage child or an incapacitated man and everything he does is so adorable no matter how stupid it is. All I see I a stupid man with a stupid wife who thinks men shouldn't have any brain cells at home no matter how clever they might be in the real world
#7
Once me and my SO went for a walk around a local nature reserve.
On the way in we got a map given to us so we could navigate the area. Later on the walk she is looking at the map and says to me "these maps really need a 'you are here' on them."
It took me a second to realise what she meant, so I explained that it's a hand held map and that it wouldn't be possible, it took 4/5 attempts before it clicked with her.
Meow 6 years ago
Yeah, someone should make an app for that... maybe you could be able to search and it would personalize restaurant choices for you too... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
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tuzdayschild 6 years ago (edited)
That's because they are muggles. I bet that map would work for her at Hogwarts.
Ryo Bakura 6 years ago
"C**p. I think I'm lost." *map displays 'You Are Here' notice* "Thanks, magic map!"
Viviane Katz 6 years ago
My map story: Me, showing route on map: "...then we're going to drive from here [Boston] all the way across Massachusetts to here [the Berkshire Mountains]." Hubby, horrified by the distance: "But that's so far, look at how big it is!!" Me: "No. The state of Massachusetts is smaaall. The MAP is big."
Oathbraker 6 years ago
Yeah and you constantly have to turn the bugger when you're not facing north. Such inconvenient things.
#8
My boyfriend as we were looking up at the beautiful night sky.
"Wow, there's so much we don't know about the universe. Like where the stars go during the day. Are they still there? If not, where do they go?".
He was dead serious.
Oathbraker 6 years ago
As a kid I found this nifty little program called Stellarium- it basically shows you the stars and constellations with their names. So I was pretty surprised to learn that the stars actually change with the seasons with some stars only visible from the south hemisphere. (Somewhere an astronomer is cringing at my terrible explanation).
tuzdayschild 6 years ago
So anyway, this relationship isn't working. It's not you, it's me...It's you.
tuzdayschild 6 years ago
Even if he were, he'd just disappear during the day.
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Jane Alexander 6 years ago
There's uneducated, and then there's just don't think.
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#9
I asked him to plant a baby tree in the back garden. The next day I saw it and thought it looked strange. Walked up and it had been planted upside down. He thought the roots were tiny limp branches. Laughed for days
Loraine MacGinness 6 years ago
There is no way this picture is of a 'LITTLE' those 'branches' are from a big old tree !!!
Lori Beauchamp 6 years ago
Hubby did this with sprouted potatoes. We are originally from different hemispheres, so there is that.
#10
We were sitting in a bus in the middle of heavy rush hour traffic. I'm kind of a car geek, so I spotted a mint condition 1970s classic Mustang.
I just went and said "Look honey! A car!"
There were hundreds of them.
... I don't think she'll let me live this down.
Jane Alexander 6 years ago
I kind of agree with him. They just don't make cool cars anymore. They all look like overgrown tennis shoes.
Janine Van Hesteren 6 years ago
My husband said something similar once. We were at a bookstore and he pointed at a book by Tom Clancy. "he writes books." he says dead serious. I just looked at him and walked away. He meant to point out that it was an author of which some of his video games were based off.
Grumble O'Pug 6 years ago
Is this photo the montlake cut on 530 just south of UW? Looks very familiar.
#11
When my now ex-wife first started dating. I had made a roast for dinner, in my slow cooker. After dinner, she was helping me clean up. I come into the kitchen, and she had the entire crock pot submerged in the sink. I asked what she was doing, and she said she was cleaning it. (She didn’t know that the ceramic inside could be removed to clean).
After I explained that to her, she said, “I guess I shouldn’t have put the whole thing under water!” I said, “No!” And reached over and unplugged it! I have no idea how she didn’t get electrocuted.
Janine O'Flaherty 6 years ago (edited)
No worries, it cuts both ways with gender. I remember my ex telling me a story about a drug dealer whose house his friend dragged him to, for some reason or other (not to buy drugs, thank god). The dealer was having a rage attack because he was hungry, but his wife was ill. So the dealer, a complete cretin who didn't know how to cook anything for himself, put a tin can of beans in the microwave while screaming "F*** it, I'll cook for myself!! How do you cook these f***ing things?!!!" One of the guys in the house ran up yelling, "Dude, don't put metal in the microwave, you'll burn the house down!" The dealer pushed the guy to the ground, yelling, "What do you know? Are you a woman? You don't cook!"" All the guys were afraid of the dealer so they shut up and let it happen. Sure enough, the microwave went kaput and there was a small fire.
tuzdayschild 6 years ago
After this you married her anyway. Which one is the dumb one in this story?
Judy Tolle 6 years ago
maybe I'd think he was smarter than her if he'd turned the electricity off before touching the plug
#12
Now ex girlfriend from high school. Her power had gone out in the neighboring town. She called crying saying she had so much homework to complete. I said to drive to my house since I still had power. She yelled at me saying “how dare you attempt to get me to drive! How do you expect me to do that... my headlights won’t work!”
It didn’t last much longer after that.
Withnail 6 years ago
The lights are on but nobody’s home. Well, the lights are off and somebody's home. Hm, nevermind.
tuzdayschild 6 years ago
Sadly, the lights were the least of his problems.
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Clinton Yew 6 years ago
He probably started laughing like maniac after that and got dumped.
Load More Replies... Sophie Warner 6 years ago (edited)
We had a coin operated electric meter when I was a child, also the area was VERY prone to prolonged power cuts. We were almost 6 hours into one such power cut when my uncle came over. He asked why we were sitting in the dark, huddled round candles? My mum told him we had a power cut. He asked if we knew that the rest of the street had power? At this point my parents realised that the meter had run out. They both thought that the other person had checked that the meter wasn't the cause of the lack of power. So we had basically sat with no power for 6 hours, for no reason, for want of putting fifty pence in the meter! I was significantly unimpressed! I missed the first TV screening of Return of the Jedi because of their "amusing miscommunication"! I was exceedingly unamused!
#13
My eldest child was born in December 2004. This was the year that we found out that London had won the bid for the 2012 Olympics.
It was announced that children born on 20/12 would get free entry to the Olympics.
“But what if they’re not any good at sports?”
I had to gently explain that it was free entry to watch the Olympics.
Ryo Bakura 6 years ago
This is partially false. London didn't find out they were to host the Olympics until 6th July, 2005, the day before the 7/7 terrorist attacks in the city.
Erik Granqvist 6 years ago
That implies some people are actually ready to pay för watching the wretched thing?
#14
My husband and I were at Canadian Tire and they had tiny examples of tents (basically looked like they were made for barbie dolls) and the pricing for each underneath. He turned to me shocked and asked, "why are these so expensive for such tiny tents?!".
I almost died laughing.
Withnail 6 years ago
What are these? Tents for ants? The tents have to be at least... three times bigger than this!
Clou 6 years ago
But they’re still really really really ridiculously good looking 😎
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SirPatTheCat 6 years ago
When I was younger, I thought they were handy little tents for your pet XD
Frank Hayes 6 years ago
I say thing like this deliberately. Mostly when strangers are within earshot.
Barbara Grillo 6 years ago
I was at Lowe's the other day with my son and they have all these little tubs to show what tubs to show what tubs you can get. I said to him, "I want that one, I can soak my feet in it." He looked at me like a crazy person who really thought that was the tub the were selling. I guess I can forgive him for not being able to notice that I was joking.
#15
As we were driving along the road we saw a horse with its head over a gate. We slowed down, she opens the window and says “Mooooooo”.
Johnny 6 years ago
Many horses understand cow as a second language (they don't generally speak it because they feel like their pronunciation is not good), so she had a pretty good chance of having the horse understand her.
Parmeisan 6 years ago (edited)
Oh god, now I'm thinking of Dory "mooooooeeeeeooooooooooooaaaaa"
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Melissa Corder 6 years ago
Are you sure she wasn’t just being silly? That’s the kind of sh*t I would do. Lol
ZombieGirl5591 6 years ago
I have a home video some friends and I made when we were in highschool. We were just hanging out being dumb...when I called one of my friends a chicken for not wanting to do something (I can't remember right now what it was) and I said "don't be a chicken...gobble gobble"
Benjamin Boysley 6 years ago
Maybe she was trying to butter him up. Sorry if that's milking it. :P
#16
When he first got a popcorn maker, he was excited to try it out. He got the popcorn, I think the machine came with seasoning, he got out a cereal bowl to catch the popped kernels. He scooped out a cup of unpopped kernels and put it in the machine.
Now, those of you paying attention to the quantities may have noticed a fatal flaw in this plan. After a minute or so, the popcorn started coming out, slowly at first. As it picked up speed, it gradually became clear that one cup of popcorn doesn't fit into a cereal bowl when popped - not even close. As the popcorn started to rise higher and higher, about to overflow, with no signs of stopping...
I will remember his mildly panicked face for as long as I live. At first he stood there, touching the bowl, trying to figure out how to replace it without making an even bigger mess. Finally, as the popcorn started bouncing onto the counter, he softly said "oh no." At that point, I couldn't hold it in any longer and collapsed on the floor laughing
Paul K. Johnson 6 years ago
Usually someone with a very little cereal bowl.
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Frozengeckolover 6 years ago
I don't think this one proves that the guy is dumb. He had never learned to cook popcorn. He had to learn somehow. However, that last part made me laugh. "he softly said, 'oh.no.'" lol.
#17
I had an ex who didn't realise that vacuum cleaners had to be emptied. He genuinely thought the vacuum was broken because it was full of fluff and didn't suck any more. The worst thing was, I believed him that it was broken because it didn't occur to me that someone could think vacuum cleaners magically made dust disappear.
Ozacoter 6 years ago
Probably tought that the vaccum just ate the dust, sort of like in the Flintstones.
Sophie Warner 6 years ago
I soon learned not to believe my kids when they said something was broken. It usually meant either that they were too lazy, too daft, or merely pretending whatever it was wouldn't work in order to get me to sort it, so that they wouldn't have to deal with whatever they were meant to be doing. I soon stopped the "oh, give it here, I'll do it myself!" reaction when I figured this out.
Frozengeckolover 6 years ago
I had an ex who thought this. He actually broke my vacuum because he never emptied it.
Janice Seagraves 6 years ago
Sounds like my brother-in-law who didn't realize that you have to change the battery in your cordless phone. He kept buying new ones when the old one stopped working.
Mary Hurst 6 years ago
And this is why all moms need to teach their sons basic household chores.
Whawhawhatsis 6 years ago
That doesn't always work. My husband was not only well-trained in household chores by his mom but had been a bachelor for years when we married. And yet he destroyed my good vacuum cleaner by overfilling it because
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Tim Douglass 6 years ago
This must not be that unusual considering how many times I have tried to use someone's vacuum cleaner and found the bag stuffed as hard as a brick.
#18
My boyfriend (now husband) and I were playing cash cab when we first started dating. For those of you who don’t know the concept of this game you have to try to answer as many questions as you can in a short amount of time, so you obviously answer really fast. My question to him was “what animal in Africa kills the most people a year.” And he blurted out very loudly “ANTS!!!!” I laughed so hard I was crying. 11 years later we still every once and awhile look at each other with a wild look in our eyes and yell “ANTS!”
Full Name 6 years ago
Touche Oz. I'm totally biting this answer because insects definitely are part of the animal kingdom.
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Max L. 6 years ago
:-) reminds me an evening with friends playing riddles. One of those was "an american state begins with D". I was dead drunk half asleep half awake on the sofa but manage to hear enough to raise my head up, scream "Delaware!" and fall again dead drunk. All had a blast and the reader said "correct, he's right". He happened to be one of the comic designer and everything came out so funny he made a comic about that with a scene resembling what happened, here it is :D http://shop.sergiobonelli.it/scheda/4183/Delaware-.html
Michelle Dodson 6 years ago
I love those little "only we know what the hell that means" quirks in a relationship. My husband & I are huge movie buffs and tend to speak to each other in movie quotes. On of our favorites is from "National Treasure". When one of us says something that makes no sense to the other, the response is "Albuquerque. Snorkel".
David Madden 6 years ago
There actually are ants that kill lots of people in Africa. It is just rare and the poor souls are so remote they do not all get counted. After seeing that documentary I started to wonder what does not eat, kill or hurt people in Africa. Turns out not much.
#19
When my wife and I started dating in the mid 1980's she knew I was a huge fan of David Letterman. She said she had a huge surprise for me as she had tickets to see Letterman at a local venue. I was confused since David Letterman did not tour. I looked at the tickets she purchased and they were for the old 60's band "The Lettermen". We didn't go, but I married her. 30 years this September...
Frozengeckolover 6 years ago
Aww. This one is cute. She tried so hard to get something special for him.
Judith Wilson 6 years ago
Really a shame you did not go. Maybe the best of that genre. Their harmony was perfection.
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I work at a school and received a candle as a gift one year for christmas from a parent. They were known to be hippies and set in their lifestyle. My boyfriend picked it up and said “wow, what hipsters, they even got a candle made in Mexico. It says soy candle!!” The candle was made from soy wax, it did not say “I am candle” in Spanish, much to his disappointment and my delight.
Kaisu Rei 6 years ago
Soy means "I am" in Spanish, so soy candle would mean "I am candle"
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tuzdayschild 6 years ago
That right there is the story of my life. If there is any way to misinterpret something, my brain will find that way.
#21
She believed that the Earth is made of water. She thought you could just swim to the bottom of the ocean and come out on the other side of the freaking planet. That one took a long time to convince her that she had it wrong. Heck, I'm not even certain I have convinced her.
chi-wei shen 6 years ago
But the earth is flat! Didn't you ever see the flat earth 'globe'? flat-earth...c7e634.jpg 
Monika Soffronow 6 years ago
My thought has learned to count to twelve already. I am sooo proud!
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Chuck Bartowski 6 years ago
This idea could make for a cool sci-fi story! I'm thinking we somehow that is possible. At first people just take advantage of chords to make submarine trips a lot quicker. Then of course it becomes a race to cross through the center of the earth first. Engineers and scientists are working on figuring out ways to resist the insane pressure and other challenges. Perhaps there could be some human-disaster twist where they make a sub that can resist the pressure but doesn't have the power to get out and it's a race to design the ultimate rescue sub...
Ginni Machamer 6 years ago
If the Earth was made of water AND flat, you could just dive from the U.S. to Australia!!
#22
I love my husband but I have watched him empty a vacuum cleaner bag into a wire wastebasket.
I, on the other hand, am frequently unable to remember common words and have to resort to saying things like “The box you put stuff in to make it cold.”
Janice Seagraves 6 years ago
I've actually said the thing in the thing. And it has become a "thing" in my house to say that.
Brie Sansotta 6 years ago
When you reach 30, you have learned so many stupid things that all facts become like a mountain in your mind. You have to drill down to find a word. Your brain needs a defrag!
Catharina Geerts 11 months ago (edited)
Anyone can forget a common word at any given time. And another time all over sudden it's back. I have a condition that makes me forget common words more frequent then others. And some other times I can blurt out a word as long and complicated as supercalifragilistisexpialidocious (no, I did not google that)
Che Guarana 6 years ago
I do this exact same thing, regularly. Except I call it the "cold cupboard".
#23
My wife couldn't think of the word "wood," and told me to clean up my "tree chunks."
Michaela Bell 6 years ago
I was speaking to the pharmacist but couldn’t remember the word for the neurologist so I described him as “the “Head Dr.” She tried so hard to remain professional and stifle her laughter.
Load More Replies... Janine O'Flaherty 6 years ago (edited)
I see no problem with this. "Clean up your wood" would imply "polish the oak bookshelf" and "wash your boner".
Bob Harrington 6 years ago
A friend of mine occasionally gets a bit brain-tangled and at a loss for words. One particular day was extra frustrating, she finally gave up and said "I'm not firing on all syllables today!"
#24
Ex-girlfriend now, but one time we were talking about changes in taste preferences when she said “taste bugs”.
I corrected her, and she looked at me confused.
She had thought that “taste buds” was “taste bugs” her entire life up until that moment.
Withnail 6 years ago
Of course! Tiny little creatures that live in your mouth. They taste the food and quickly phone the guys at Head Office to tell them if the food's any good. Makes perfect sense.
Kiss Army 6 years ago (edited)
Before my husband and I got married, he was at my house helping me pack. I told him to grab "that porcupine pillow". He was like, "What, this raccoon?" My dad gave me that pillow when I was 2 and I always thought it was a porcupine and no one corrected me. My husband said when I realized what he said and that he was right that my face fell and I looked at him like he had just kicked a puppy. We have been married over 25 years and he still teases me about my porcupine pillow and it still has a place of honor in our bedroom.
Sophie Warner 6 years ago
My daughter couldn't say cobwebs & called them cod-webs. No wonder she is arachnophobic! The image of huge eight legged fish spinning webs in the corners of my house, is the stuff of nightmares!
Sophie Warner 6 years ago
My daughter also thought that they were called "cotton bugs", not "cotton buds".
Load More Replies... #25
One time, my wife (then girlfriend) and I were at her brother’s house for a game night of Cranium.
I don’t remember the exact details (probably because I was in hysterics) but someone asked my wife what caused the US to enter WWII.
Now, my wife is not very history savvy. Probably her least knowledgeable subject. I, on the other hand, loooove history.
Point is, she didn’t know the answer. Her guess was the Boston Tea Party.
I lost my ****, and so did she and everyone else. To this day, if my wife doesn’t know the answer to something, I tell her to write down “Boston tea party.”
Sally Appleton 6 years ago
We have one of these, actually also from the game Cranium. My mom asked someone to spell "chahooahooa" backwards. Apparently she'd never seen chihuahua spelled before.
Darryl Kerrigan 6 years ago
Wasn't it because Japan bombed them and Germany declared war on them?
danielw 6 years ago
Well, the tipping point, as far as public was concerned was the attack on Pearl Harbor- which was supposed to be timed with a declaration of war, down to the minute, but the meeting got postponed (i forget why) so we didn't receive that declaration, and viewed the attack as a sneak attack. The reality was, however, the American leadership at the time saw entry to the war as a largely inevitable- and our navy was fairly well engaged with the German navy in convoy protection roles. we also were providing massive shipments of war material (and food.) which is largely the reason the Allies won in large part because we had a much higher industrial output, and a large part of that was the industrial mobilization of america before we entered the war properly. (for example, the US built 124 carriers to japan's 18, 10 to 2 on battleships, 48 to 9 on cruisers, 349 to 63 in destroyers. The only class of vessels we were out produced in was submarines, by Germany.)
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Lara L. 6 years ago
I live and come from one of the main WW2 countries and altough i am glad that the USA entered the war, because if they haven't we would probably still live in Hitler- Greatgermany (in german Großdeutschland, which i translated to greatgermany is both Germany and Austria, don't know the correct english term), i don't get why they did it. I get the marshall- plan and everything and the after- the- war- making- europe- western part of it. But the entering i don't get
danielw 6 years ago
Officially, the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor was the justification for our entry. Politically, the US wanted to stay out of it- we were tired of war after WW1, and just getting our economy back up and going after the Great Depression, and would have much preferred to keep selling arms to people than fighting ourselves - largely because that created jobs. But then Japan went and miss-timed an Attack on Pearl harbor that was meant to coincide with the declaration of war by Japan, and that really...really pissed us off.
Load More Replies... chi-wei shen 6 years ago
In my highschool class (early 1980s) the same question was raised by our teacher and a guy suggested it was the attack of the killer tomatoes. The teacher got so angry it took her the entire hour to find out that this guy only tried to provoke her.
Full Name 6 years ago
I'm going to find a copy of that movie right now. C'mon eBay....!
Load More Replies... #26
“What do you put in carrot cake to make it carrot flavoured? Is it carrot zest?” I’ve never let him live it down!
Enuya 6 years ago
I've heard that if you use garlic instead of onion, it will have a stronger carrot flavor.
Load More Replies... Kjorn 6 years ago
or cheese cake… when i was Young i tought cheese cake was slice of cheeses cover with icing cake
Frozengeckolover 6 years ago
In Honduras they have this revolting desert that actually has rotten cheese on it. They also have a cookie version that has melted, rotten cheese on it. I bought one at the market, thinking the white stuff on top was icing. It was not icing. I love trying different foods when I travel, but that one caught me by surprise.
Load More Replies... Frozengeckolover 6 years ago
I guess, technically. But zest is the rind, or peel, of citrus fruits. Grated carrot is just grated carrot.
Load More Replies... Janette Smith 6 years ago
Once when we were at a bar, my boyfriend ordered a whiskey sour and I asked him what kind of alcohol was in a whiskey sour 😑
GiantSpaceTiger 6 years ago
Oh no. I'm stupid, too. Isn't it indeed grated carrot? (I guess you could call it 'zest'. If not, then what on earth is it? Yes, I'll take the bullet for all my stupid brothers and sisters in arms out there also thinking the same thing.
Frozengeckolover 6 years ago (edited)
It is, indeed, grated carrots that make carrot cake taste like carrots. The other commenters talking about onions, and other stuff, are just kidding. It's carrots everybody. Just carrots.
Load More Replies... Frozengeckolover 6 years ago
It wouldn't surprise me if you could buy carrot extract or artificial carrot flavoring.
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#27
When my wife gave birth to our oldest daughter the doctor offered to let me cut the umbilical cord. I told him "Surely that's YOUR job."
I had no idea that was a thing.
Oathbraker 6 years ago
He's got a point you know. I find it mildly annoying when I get in a taxi and the driver asks what route to take. If I knew the location of the place I wouldn't have called a taxi in the first place.
Jason M 6 years ago
While there were multiple routes about the same distance to get to a destination, before smartphones, it was difficult to know which route was going to be more congested at a specific time. If the driver mentally flipped a coint and picked the congested route, the rider may not tip as much. By placing the burden on the rider, they cannot get upset if they get stuck on the congested route.
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Master Markus 6 years ago
I didn't either. That's weird and I don't know why someone would specifically WANT to do that. Would I do it in an emergency situation? Yes. Would I be offended if the doctor didn't offer? No.
Isog Sargent 6 years ago
Same story when our first was born. Three nurses were taking turns coaching my wife through a 9 hour labor with me alternately holding her up by her arms so she could try squatting the baby out, pushing against her back to try to squeeze it out that way etc. etc., then the doc takes a break from drinking coffee and comes in for the catch and proudly offers to let me cut the cord. I told him that I was paying him and so far I hadn't seen him do s**t.
tuzdayschild 6 years ago
I don't blame you, I did it for my cousin years ago and I swear I can still feel that grossness.
Chris Jones 6 years ago
Also research shows it is done too soon and that there is a positive benefit to waiting.
Crouching_Penn_Hidden_Teller@yahoo.com 6 years ago
I could see making that assumption if he'd never been present for a birth before, really.
Kenny Kulbiski 6 years ago
I see nothing wrong with this. If you've got to cut the cord you deserve a substantial discount on your doctor bill.
#28
Tried to make baked potatoes in the microwave for the first time. Wrapped them in tinfoil. Came to ask me why there were lightning bolts in the microwave and why was it getting very hot.
KarmaQueen 6 years ago
How does one get through life not knowing that metal in a microwave is not a good thing.
Sophie Warner 6 years ago
The first time my dad used a microwave, he was attempting to heat up a single serve treacle sponge pudding in a plastic pot. He put it in for the amount of time recommended for conventional heating. I came downstairs to a thick opaque cloud of toxic mustard yellow smoke & the foulest smell in the world!
Janine O'Flaherty 6 years ago
I remember my ex telling me a story about a drug dealer whose house his friend dragged him to, for some reason or other (not to buy drugs, thank god). The dealer was having a rage attack because he was hungry, but his wife was ill. So the dealer, a complete cretin who didn't know how to cook anything for himself, put a tin can of beans in the microwave while screaming "F*** it, I'll cook for myself!! How do you cook these f***ing things?!!!" One of the guys in the house ran up yelling, "Dude, don't put metal in the microwave, you'll burn the house down!" The dealer pushed the guy to the ground, yelling, "What do you know? Are you a woman? You don't cook!"" All the guys were afraid of the dealer so they shut up and let it happen. Sure enough, the microwave went kaput and there was a small fire.
Sleep Meister 6 years ago
I worked with a guy who used to make hot chocolate but leave the spoon in the cup when he microwaved it. He wondered why he broke several microwaves when we told him not to do that.
Ryo Bakura 6 years ago
How did no-one teach the doofus that putting metal in a microwave is bad? Did they live in a place without electricity, and have their potatoes cooked in a clay oven?
Kaisu Rei 6 years ago
Maybe they cooked their potatoes in a regular oven where tinfoil is safe to use?
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#29
I have a fan with different settings labelled L M H for how fast the fan spins.
She was looking at it and told me she set the fan to 'Large'.
Withnail 6 years ago
What would the H stand for? Huge? But then the M in the middle wouldn't make sense, if she thought it meant Medium. Massive, then? Large, Massive, Huge. Is Huge bigger than Massive? Humongous? I'm giving this WAY too much thought...
Adam Hendron 6 years ago (edited)
Crazy girl... she had it backwards. It's Little, Medium, Huge.
Oathbraker 6 years ago
Next time you'll know to use numbers like 1,2,3 or I, II, III. I never did get the hang of grading school tests/ exams with letters instead of score out of a 100 or 2- 6.
#30
She genuinely through Barack Obama’s name was ‘Black Obama’.
Judith Wilson 6 years ago
No, she didn't. Or she doesn't know how to read words?
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What do you think ?
Junebug 6 years ago
My now ex-husband watched me as i refilled the hurricane lanterns because of recent power outages. He turns to me and says "well if the power goes out we can just use the light from the T.V." I promptly replied "oh yeah the wood burning T.V.?" I will never let him live it down!!
Lef 6 years ago
It was such an entertaining post, and I'm glad to see that most of these couples are still together.
donghun's emo cactus 6 years ago
Eh, we all have our idiot-moments. Real love can forgive the little goofs.
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AzKahleesi 6 years ago
My favorite ex moment: When Bush Jr was elected we were talking about how dumb he was and how I didn't like him but I loved his Dad. He looked at me dead a*s and said "Who is his dad?" I was like seriously? "Uh, Bush Sr?! the OTHER president Bush." He looked at me and was like "OMG are you serious that's his dad?" I died.... we are now divorced lol. (not because of that)
Catpoker88 6 years ago
My favorite incident with my husband, he bought a car off his dumb a*s brother and one day decided to change the brake pads. Normally a 15 minute job, I sat and watched for SIX hours as he struggled, I kept saying "you have them backwards" and he kept arguing that "this is the same way they came out". I reiterated that they were backwards and finally after he was exhausted and frustrated he finally got to the point where, to shut me up, he tried putting the pads in the other way... and they snapped in place in seconds! His dumbass brother had put the original pads in backwards, presumably via extreme force.That was the day he learned to listen to me . After we were done I didn't even have to gloat, he just looked at me and we both started laughing.we still joke about that day nearly 16 years later.
Francesca Annoni 6 years ago
when we were 20 yo, we organized a trip to an amusement park with some friends, before starting the tour we decided to go to the bathroom for not having to stop later. Near the sink a boy approached my boyfriend (now my husband) asking for "una cartina" .. he meant a paper to roll a cigarette (or other) that in my country translates exactly as a map .. my husband enthusiastically responds "I have it! " with a smile, pulling out a map of the amusement park from the backpack .. the boy's expression was priceless !!!
Tyler Cook 6 years ago
My wife and I were watching Life of Pi and there is a scene where he catches and kills a fish but they don't show how he killed it. I asked my wife, how he killed the fish and without missing a beat she said he drowned it. XD
AzKahleesi 6 years ago
My dumbest moment: Friend calls me from the airport because he's bored (his flight was delayed) I'm cleaning and only half paying attention when I ask why his plane is delayed, he says " It's stuck in Great Lakes" My dumbass self, responds too quickly without thinking "What's it doing in the middle of a lake?" He laughed so hard and then thanked me for making his boring wait MUCH better. I knew it as soon as I had said it but it was too late lol.
Madzdad the bard 6 years ago
After running to the store before a dinner, my ex called me from the car, wondering where I was, and was quite POed because we were late for a dinner party. I told her I was in the car waiting for her. Now, beyond pissed, she says I am lying and get my a*s to the car. It was then she realized she was in the wrong car. She was still mad at me!
Rose the Cook 6 years ago
Not a partner but o coworker tried to retrieve something from the toaster using a fork and got a nasty shock. To a chorus of "You know it is dangerous to stick a knife in the toaster", she replied "Nobody said anything about forks."
Junebug 6 years ago
My now ex-husband watched me as i refilled the hurricane lanterns because of recent power outages. He turns to me and says "well if the power goes out we can just use the light from the T.V." I promptly replied "oh yeah the wood burning T.V.?" I will never let him live it down!!
Lef 6 years ago
It was such an entertaining post, and I'm glad to see that most of these couples are still together.
donghun's emo cactus 6 years ago
Eh, we all have our idiot-moments. Real love can forgive the little goofs.
Load More Replies... AzKahleesi 6 years ago
My favorite ex moment: When Bush Jr was elected we were talking about how dumb he was and how I didn't like him but I loved his Dad. He looked at me dead a*s and said "Who is his dad?" I was like seriously? "Uh, Bush Sr?! the OTHER president Bush." He looked at me and was like "OMG are you serious that's his dad?" I died.... we are now divorced lol. (not because of that)
Catpoker88 6 years ago
My favorite incident with my husband, he bought a car off his dumb a*s brother and one day decided to change the brake pads. Normally a 15 minute job, I sat and watched for SIX hours as he struggled, I kept saying "you have them backwards" and he kept arguing that "this is the same way they came out". I reiterated that they were backwards and finally after he was exhausted and frustrated he finally got to the point where, to shut me up, he tried putting the pads in the other way... and they snapped in place in seconds! His dumbass brother had put the original pads in backwards, presumably via extreme force.That was the day he learned to listen to me . After we were done I didn't even have to gloat, he just looked at me and we both started laughing.we still joke about that day nearly 16 years later.
Francesca Annoni 6 years ago
when we were 20 yo, we organized a trip to an amusement park with some friends, before starting the tour we decided to go to the bathroom for not having to stop later. Near the sink a boy approached my boyfriend (now my husband) asking for "una cartina" .. he meant a paper to roll a cigarette (or other) that in my country translates exactly as a map .. my husband enthusiastically responds "I have it! " with a smile, pulling out a map of the amusement park from the backpack .. the boy's expression was priceless !!!
Tyler Cook 6 years ago
My wife and I were watching Life of Pi and there is a scene where he catches and kills a fish but they don't show how he killed it. I asked my wife, how he killed the fish and without missing a beat she said he drowned it. XD
AzKahleesi 6 years ago
My dumbest moment: Friend calls me from the airport because he's bored (his flight was delayed) I'm cleaning and only half paying attention when I ask why his plane is delayed, he says " It's stuck in Great Lakes" My dumbass self, responds too quickly without thinking "What's it doing in the middle of a lake?" He laughed so hard and then thanked me for making his boring wait MUCH better. I knew it as soon as I had said it but it was too late lol.
Madzdad the bard 6 years ago
After running to the store before a dinner, my ex called me from the car, wondering where I was, and was quite POed because we were late for a dinner party. I told her I was in the car waiting for her. Now, beyond pissed, she says I am lying and get my a*s to the car. It was then she realized she was in the wrong car. She was still mad at me!
Rose the Cook 6 years ago
Not a partner but o coworker tried to retrieve something from the toaster using a fork and got a nasty shock. To a chorus of "You know it is dangerous to stick a knife in the toaster", she replied "Nobody said anything about forks."
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