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Destructive Siblings Destroy Guy’s Stuff, So He Bans Them From His Apartment; Parents Complain
Destructive Siblings Destroy Guy’s Stuff, So He Bans Them From His Apartment; Parents Complain

Destructive Siblings Destroy Guy’s Stuff, So He Bans Them From His Apartment; Parents Complain

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You’re expected to go the extra mile for family, but surely there have to be some limits? If not, you’re sure to be taken advantage of at some point. It’s probably better to stand your ground in some cases, if only to defend your boundaries.

One guy who moved out a while back is at his wits’ end with his destructive younger siblings. They’ve already damaged some of his stuff, so he told his parents they wouldn’t be welcome at his place, but then asked netizens if that was a jerk move.

More info: Reddit

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    You’re pretty much expected to go the extra mile for family, but this guy has reached his limit

    Image credits: pvproductions / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    His younger siblings are in the habit of destroying his things and getting away with it

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    Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    Having had enough of their disrespect, he told his parents they would not be welcome at his apartment

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    Image credits: pressmaster / Freepik  (not the actual photo)

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    His parents think he’s being unreasonable, and that family is more important than stuff, but he won’t budge, especially with expensive music equipment at his place

    Image credits: anniestonks

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    Now his parents are upset with him, so he’s turned to netizens to ask if banning his siblings from visiting was a jerk move

    Moving out for college is a major step toward independence, but for OP, it also meant an unintentional distance from his family, especially his younger siblings. Now, years later, he’s got a dream loft packed with expensive music equipment, but there’s just one problem: his siblings, who have a history of breaking his stuff, aren’t welcome.

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    His dad and stepmom miss OP deeply but his relationship with his siblings is strained. During a recent holiday visit, they destroyed his Nintendo Switch and shattered his phone screen, proving exactly why he can’t trust them around his stuff. When his parents pushed for more visits, however, OP finally had to lay out the hard truth.

    He told them that hosting his siblings was out of the question. His loft isn’t just a home—it’s his music studio, filled with thousands of dollars of gear, he explained. Instead of understanding his point of view, his parents called him out for prioritizing possessions over family, accusing him of not making an effort to bond with his siblings.

    Understandably frustrated by the situation, OP now finds himself torn between maintaining his practical, quite necessary boundaries and repairing his fraying family relationships. He’s since turned to an online community to ask whether or not banning his siblings from visiting his place is a jerk move.

    Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    From what OP tells us in his post, his siblings sound like a nightmare on four legs. He’s well within his rights to want to keep their grubby paws off his stuff. After all, it’s his place, his rules. It’s also not his responsibility to discipline the terrible twosome – that’s on his parents. Is there any way forward for the family? We went looking for answers.

    OP has already explained his boundaries and reasoning, but his parents seem stuck on the “family means more than stuff” idea. While they might view his reluctance to host his siblings as rejection, in reality, he’s just protecting his space and livelihood. There’s obviously a communication breakdown, and we don’t think it’s OP’s fault. 

    According to a post on the Arise Society website, encouraging open and honest dialogue can break down barriers and foster understanding between family members who aren’t seeing eye to eye. Families can practice active listening, where each member feels heard and validated. 

    In her article for Psychology Today, Dianne Grande (Ph.D.) writes that active listening is a way of listening that involves full attention to what is being said for the primary purpose of understanding the speaker. According to Grande, if we aren’t listening actively, we’re likely to miss the real message. 

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    OP’s parents clearly aren’t picking up what he’s putting down. Unless they change their tune and see things from his perspective, the unhappy situation isn’t going to change. In fact, it may even get worse. At least his space will remain an undisturbed sanctuary.  

    What would you do if you were in OP’s shoes? Do you think his parents need a reality check, or at least some lessons in parenting reckless kids? Share your opinion in the comments!  

    In the comments, readers slammed the parents for not actually parenting and their terrible attitude when it comes to boundaries

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    Ivan Ayliffe

    Ivan Ayliffe

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    After twenty years in advertising, I've decided to try my hand at journalism. I'm lucky enough to be based in Cape Town, South Africa and use every opportunity I get to explore everything it has to offer, both indoors and out. When I'm not reading, writing, or listening to podcasts, I spend my time swimming in the ocean, running mountain trails, and skydiving. While I haven't travelled as much as I'd like, I did live in !ndia, which was an incredible experience. Oh, and I love live music. I hope you enjoy my stories!

    Read less »
    Ivan Ayliffe

    Ivan Ayliffe

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    After twenty years in advertising, I've decided to try my hand at journalism. I'm lucky enough to be based in Cape Town, South Africa and use every opportunity I get to explore everything it has to offer, both indoors and out. When I'm not reading, writing, or listening to podcasts, I spend my time swimming in the ocean, running mountain trails, and skydiving. While I haven't travelled as much as I'd like, I did live in !ndia, which was an incredible experience. Oh, and I love live music. I hope you enjoy my stories!

    What do you think ?
    Paul C
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If family are more important than possessions why didn't his parents pay for everything their children broke? It's funny how many AHs gaslight with "family is important" which means "let some AH do what they want, whilst you deal with the consequences".

    Sparkle
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Family is important but my sanity is more important!

    Load More Replies...
    🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are quite a few places that will bar thieving feral children, so you're only the first in a long line of people your parents are going to have this "But, but..." conversation with.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And now is an *excellent* time to teach those little animals that people don’t like/want to be around аssholes, and that if you’re gonna be an аsshole, you’re gonna be lonely. The sooner they’re taught to behave around other people and their stuff, the sooner they’ll enjoy their lives as they’ll have friends and family who want them around. If they wait to let the animals learn this after they’ve left home, they’re gonna be in a world of hurt because adults don’t put up with that kinda c**p; they have people arrested and charged with theft and destruction of property, and they certainly don’t invite those people to visit!

    Load More Replies...
    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    Premium
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was brought up to respect other people's property, but it doesn't sound like these two are. When I was young, you broke it, you paid for it. Might be something these "parents" need to try.

    Renegade
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Even if they were brought up to respect other's property, they're kids and his apartment isn't set up to accommodate kids.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    Paul C
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If family are more important than possessions why didn't his parents pay for everything their children broke? It's funny how many AHs gaslight with "family is important" which means "let some AH do what they want, whilst you deal with the consequences".

    Sparkle
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Family is important but my sanity is more important!

    Load More Replies...
    🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are quite a few places that will bar thieving feral children, so you're only the first in a long line of people your parents are going to have this "But, but..." conversation with.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And now is an *excellent* time to teach those little animals that people don’t like/want to be around аssholes, and that if you’re gonna be an аsshole, you’re gonna be lonely. The sooner they’re taught to behave around other people and their stuff, the sooner they’ll enjoy their lives as they’ll have friends and family who want them around. If they wait to let the animals learn this after they’ve left home, they’re gonna be in a world of hurt because adults don’t put up with that kinda c**p; they have people arrested and charged with theft and destruction of property, and they certainly don’t invite those people to visit!

    Load More Replies...
    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    Premium
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was brought up to respect other people's property, but it doesn't sound like these two are. When I was young, you broke it, you paid for it. Might be something these "parents" need to try.

    Renegade
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Even if they were brought up to respect other's property, they're kids and his apartment isn't set up to accommodate kids.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
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