Guy Won’t Get The Message, Keeps Bothering Woman At Gym, Is Shocked When She Snaps

Is it okay for guys to approach a woman at the gym? There’s been a raging debate about this for many years. Some believe it’s a total “no-no,” while others say “why not?” Then there are those who argue that it largely depends on the circumstances, and how the man goes about it.

One woman’s recent experience has caused people to butt heads over the topic once again. She shared how she was approached by a very persistent guy, both in and out of the gym. When some netizens criticized the woman for how “rudely” she handled the situation, she backed up her behavior by relaying another, more scary, incident involving a different man at the gym. Only then, did a few people understand where she was coming from.

You can read more about it below. Bored Panda also reached out to Etiquette Expert and Author Rosalinda Randall for her advice regarding approaching women at gym.

Putting on headphones at the gym to avoid being approached is one of the oldest tricks in the book

Woman at the gym wearing headphones and a yellow sweatshirt focusing on workout, embodying gym mindset and determination.

Image credits: Aly Ramirez / unsplash (not the actual photo)

But when that didn’t work for one woman on a very a persistent guy, she snapped

Woman and gym guy walking on sidewalk at sunset, gym guy reaching out for a fist bump despite her disinterest.

Image credits: Doug Golden / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Woman at gym avoids eye contact as gym guy tries to fist bump despite her not wanting to make friends.

Woman at gym telling guy she is not here to make friends while he tries to fist bump her during workout session

Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)

People had questions and the woman provided more info

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Text excerpt discussing awkward conversations at the gym and not being in the headspace for socializing.

Text about a woman at the gym stating she’s not there to make friends while a gym guy tries to fist bump her.

The woman gave an update later and included some details of another gym incident

Woman at gym lifting weights focused on workout, showing determination and strength in fitness environment.

Image credits: Anastase Maragos / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Woman tells gym guy she’s not here to make friends while he tries to fist bump her anyway at workout session

Text excerpt explaining a woman’s experience at the gym where a gym guy keeps trying to fist bump her despite her not being there to make friends.

Text excerpt showing a woman startled by a gym guy attempting a fist bump despite her saying she’s not there to make friends.

Woman and gym guy interacting during leg press workout, highlighting gym social dynamics and fitness training.

Image credits: Sergio Kian / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text about a woman telling a gym guy she’s not here to make friends while he insists on fist bumping her.

Text excerpt showing a woman recounting an encounter with a gym guy who kept trying to fist bump her.

Text excerpt about a woman reporting a gym incident involving a persistent gym guy despite her clear message.

Woman at gym focused on workout while gym guy tries to fist bump her despite her intent not to make friends

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Woman telling gym guy she’s not here to make friends while he tries to fist bump her indoors.

Text excerpt discussing a woman confronting a gym guy who tries to fist bump despite her message.

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“Let me be your workout”: an expert weighs in on the whole debate

Woman at gym on spinning bike while gym guy tries to fist bump her, showing determination and focus during workout.

Image credits: Michael DeMoya / unsplash (not the actual photo)

While the jury is out on whether or not it’s ever okay to approach a woman at the gym, it’ll probably always depend on the preference of the woman. And for those who are willing to risk it, we reached out to Etiquette Expert and Author, Rosalinda Randall to get her advice.

Firstly, you should never interrupt her workout; instead, wait for a break. “Don’t approach if she’s with a trainer or a workout buddy,” Randall added. And for the love of ripped bodies, do not ever take photos or videos of her. Besides being creepy, she could report you, and you’ll have some serious problems on your hands.

“I’d advise a man to approach in a professional manner,” Randall told Bored Panda, adding that there’s no room for obnoxious lines like “Let me be your workout,” “I could watch you all day,” or “You look like you can use a break.”

She says a less creepy approach might be, “Excuse me, may I show you another way to lift?” “Would you mind if I worked out with you?” or “I’ve seen you here a few times, I thought I’d say hi”. But even those lines won’t fly with some women.

Reasons she might brush you off or shut you down…

Woman at the gym taking a selfie, dressed in black activewear, illustrating gym interaction and attitude keywords.

Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)

One of the reasons women give for not wanting to be approached at gym is because they are there purely to train, and that’s all they want to focus on. Randall says sometimes there are other things at play. You might be the third guy who’s hit on her and quite frankly, she’s over it. Or, maybe she’s just not into you and you’re not her type. She’s possibly even seen you hit on every other woman at the gym. She could also be in a relationship, or not interested in men at all.

If you’re on the receiving end of being shut down by a woman at the gym, Randall advises that you maintain your dignity and don’t let your ego take over. She suggests saying something like, “Got it, have a great workout” or “I didn’t mean to bother you.” Or simply say nothing and walk away. 

We asked Randall how women should deal with unwanted approaches at the gym. “If the guy’s approach is disrespectful or his talk is bargain-basement, your go-to response should be to promptly stop, stand up, squarely look him in the eye, and sternly tell him to back off,” advised the expert. “If he doesn’t, report him immediately. Don’t try to handle it yourself.”

She added that if it’s a “sweet or cheesy” attempt to start a conversation, but you’re not in the mood, you can still be tactful. “There’s no need to berate another human being or make a scene,” she told Bored Panda.

Randall suggests simply responding with something along the lines of, “Thank you for the compliment. I’m not interested,” “It’s kind of you, but I’m not available” or “I’m here to work out, not meet anyone.”

“A tight-fitting outfit is not a signal for come-hit-on-me,” do better!

Woman at gym preparing to lift weights, focused and determined, showing strength and commitment to fitness.

Image credits: Pablo Merchán Montes / unsplash (not the actual photo)

“Some women smile at everyone they make eye contact with, while some women are by nature, alluring,” says Randall. “This can unintentionally give off the wrong signals.” She warns that guys should exercise their brains too before risking being shut down.

“Be aware that you might be misinterpreting a smile or a glance,” said Randall. “That come-hither look could have been directed at someone behind you.”

“A tight-fitting outfit is not a signal for come-hit-on-me,” she warns, adding that, “Working out may boost hormones, so beware of your mind’s frisky thoughts and body’s feelings of attraction.”

Randalls says that if it isn’t the right time, but there might be some interest, suggest meeting after the workout. “If her response is negative or indifferent, offer a sincere and brief apology, then walk away and never look back.”

She also cautions that should the encounter turn into a relationship and then fizzles out, things could get awkward. And you might find yourself looking for a new gym.

People had lots to say in response to the story and many took the woman’s side

Reddit comments showing support for a woman setting boundaries at the gym and not wanting to make friends.

Woman tells gym guy she is not here to make friends while he keeps trying to fist bump her anyway.

Text comment about woman telling gym guy she’s not there to make friends while he tries to fist bump her despite her clear hints.

Comment discussing gym boundary expectations, emphasizing respect and that gym is not for making friends or meet and greets.

Woman tells gym guy she’s not here to make friends as he insists on fist bump despite refusal.

Woman tells gym guy she’s not here to make friends, but he keeps trying to fist bump her despite refusal.

Comment from user Embarrassed_Loss_584 explaining being blunt with a gym guy after rejecting friendship attempts.

Comment text from user Long_Experience_9377 discussing bad behavior and persistence in public, related to gym interactions.

Woman firmly telling gym guy she’s not there to make friends while he persistently tries to fist bump her.

Text conversation discussing a woman setting boundaries with a gym guy who tried to fist bump her.

Comment on a gym interaction about respecting workout space with headphones on to avoid unwanted socializing attempts.

Woman telling gym guy she’s not here to make friends as he keeps trying to fist bump her despite clear signals.

User comment about men’s entitlement and setting boundaries, responding to gym interaction about making friends.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman telling a gym guy she’s not here to make friends while he tries to fist bump her.

Woman at gym firmly rejecting gym guy’s fist bump attempt while focusing on her workout goals.

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Comment on gym etiquette about woman not here to make friends and man trying to fist bump anyway

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman telling a gym guy she’s not there to make friends.

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Woman at the gym firmly rejecting a man's fist bump attempt while focusing on her workout without making friends

“Rude”: some felt the woman could have done better

Comment on Reddit discussing a woman telling a gym guy she is not there to make friends as he tries to fist bump her.

Gym woman firmly declines fist bump from gym guy who keeps trying despite her clear message.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a gym guy persistently trying to fist bump a woman despite her not wanting to be friendly.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman telling a gym guy she is not there to make friends.

Woman telling gym guy she is not here to make friends while he tries to fist bump her.

Woman at the gym telling guy she’s not here to make friends while he tries to fist bump her anyway

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