Life hacks are awesome. Handy short cuts that let you get the boring stuff done quicker and easier, giving you more time to get on with the more important stuff, like playing with your dog or saving the world.
These life hacks however, are not that. These are parody life hacks, life hacks so creatively useless that the only thing they are good for is making you giggle uncontrollably. Which I guess is an end unto itself right? This is the sequel to our previous pro-tip shit list, which proved wildly popular!
Scroll down the list below and marvel at the absurdity of it all, but whatever you do don’t take any of this terrible advice on board, as some of them are actually pretty dangerous. Do vote for your favourite though!
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Don't Throw Out Old Doll Heads. You Can Turn Them Into Handy Night Lights For Your Kids
Tired Of Boiling Water Every Time You Make Pasta? Boil A Few Gallons At The Beginning Of The Week And Freeze It For Later
Non-Smoker Hack
Eggs Are Really Healthy And Should Be The Foundation Of Your Diet. Don't Like The Taste? Add Cacao, Butter, Flour And Bake For 30 Minutes
If You Sleep Till Noon You Only Have To Pay For 2 Meals Instead Of 3
Batteries Dead In Your Smoke Alarm? Just Use Popcorn As A Smoke Alarm. When You Hear Crackling, Grab Your Popcorn And Get The Hell Out
If It Works It Isn't Stupid
Use A Snake To Hold Your Pasta Easily
Do you use different snakes to adjust for the number of servings needed?
If Your Car Is Making An Unsettling Noise, Just Turn Your Radio Up Until It Disappears
When Cutting Bagels In Half, Put Your Finger Through The Stabilization Hole To Keep It Steady
Yep you will have a perfectly cut in two bagel and some extra meat and red sauce
Fill Your Arms With Puppies So No One Can Ask You For Help
Pro Tip: If You Stir Coconut Oil Into Your Kale It Makes It Easier To Scrape Into The Trash
Having A Shitty Day? Put On Sunglasses! Now You're Having A Shitty Evening
Fill A Rubber Glove With Warm Water And Put It On Your Hand When You Feel Lonely
Use This Hack With Deaf People
My wife is deaf. This is useful. The misunderstandings we have had have been hilarious. For example, the sign for bug and penis are very damn close.
Want To Get Rid Of Wrinkles Fast? Just Get Bit By A Rattlesnake
Want To Turn Your Drink Into Diet? No Problem! Just Push This Button
Add A Touch Of Magic To Your Cold By Putting Glitter In Your Mouth Before You Sneeze
If Your Phone Screen Is Too Small, Put It In Water. It Will Magnify The Screen Up To 200%
Use This Tip To Save Your Money
Sink Full Of Dirty Dishes? Visitors Imminent? Put Some Clean Dishes In The Dishrack. Now It Looks Like You're Working On It
Don't Be Afraid To Use Public Bathrooms Ever Again
Sobbing works too. Be sure you're wearing tear stains when you come out.
A Slice Of Red Onion In Your Dvd Drive Is An All-Natural Way Of Protecting Your Computer Against Viruses
To Maximize Horsepower On The Highway Shift From 5th Gear To "R" For Racing
If You Put Your Wipers Up Parking Inspectors Are Unable To Give You A Ticket
Retread Tires Easily With A Sharpie
Use Cello Tape As Hands Free Selfie Stick
Dress For The Weight You Want, Not The Weight You Have
Having Trouble Finding A Parking Spot? Turn On Your Hazard Lights To Make Yourself Immune To Traffic Laws, Then Park Wherever You Want
Don't Have A Flashlight On Your Phone? Take A Picture Of The Sun And Use The Photo To Find Your Way In The Dark
When All The Cups Are Dirty And You're Too Lazy To Clean One
Use This Simple Tip To Get Free Meals Forever
Save Hundreds Instantly
I had a couple of boyfriends who did that with birthdays. That way they could get a present for their birthday while saving money on my birthday. It gets a bit obvious when they want to make up shortly after your birthday, then next year it happens again. (Obviously, doing it before Christmas means they also miss out on getting presents.)
This Tiny Tool Can Make Any Pair Of Headphones Wireless
In An Awkward/Uncomfortable Situation? Just Moon-Walk Away. People Will Think You Are Walking Towards That, But You Are In Fact Leaving
moonwalk out of every problem in life and watch your life get destroyed in style
If You're In A Rush In The Morning, Remember To Save Some Time By Having Breakfast Whilst Cleaning Your Teeth At The Same Time
Plant Your Hot Dog Seeds Now To Guarantee A Healthy Bounty For Your Backyard BBQ
Tear A Strip Off Of Plastic Cups To Make A Convenient Handle
No Friends? Doesn't Matter. Use This Hack
Not Disabled? Put One Of These On Your Car To Use Disabled Parking Whenever You Like
Take Random Pills
Use Condoms As Homemade Waterproof Socks
Nail Art Hack
Here's A Tip For Boys: Put A Pee Stain Down Low On Your Jeans And People Will Think Your Penis Is Longer
When Painting The Outside Of Your House, Use A Fine Detail Brush. Larger Brushes Are Often Lower Quality And Use Far More Paint
Get A Whole Extra Glass Of Juice By Slightly Tilting The Carton
Having Trouble Opening A Soda Bottle? Hold It Upside-Down Whilst You Open It. This Will Force All The Gases Away From The Neck Of The Bottle And Make It Much Easier To Open
Use Frozen Vegetables When You Run Out Of Ice
Throw It In A Microwave And You Won't Even Be Able To Tell The Difference
Make Your Car Almost Twice As Fast By Changing It From Mph To Kmh
To Make Sure Your Phone Is Nice And Clean, Microwave It For 30 Seconds In The Morning To Get Rid Of All The Bad Bacteria That Might Have Got On It During The Night
Here's A Simple & Easy Way To Lose Weight Fast. You Can Lose A Ton Of Weight Just By Weighing Yourself While Sitting On The Toilet
Use This When You Want Your Pc To Be Even Faster
Never Lose Your Keys Again
Fire Extinguishers Can Be Damaged So To Keep It Safe Have It In A High Place That's Out Of Reach So It Will Be Ready When You Need It
This one is real! By law, the laundromat has to have a fire extinguisher on the premise. They probably had problems with theft and vandalism.
Never Slip In The Winter Anymore By Piercing Screwdrivers Through Your Wheels
Inform An Officer You Are Carrying A Handgun Like This
How To Make Your Own Quesadilla Wallet In 3 Super Easy Steps
And when someone tries to rob you, just give him the quesadilla without the cash and cards. He won't even notice.
Replace Your Treadmill Belt With Sandpaper For Better Traction While Running
Coffee Got Cold? Heat It Up Quick On The Stove
The Iphone 7 Does Has A Headphone Jack! It's Just Hidden Behind The Casing. All You Have To Do To Access It Is To Drill A Small Hole 14mm From The Left Edge. The Drill Shouldn't Be Larger Than 4mm
If You Need To Rob A Bank And Don't Have A Stocking, Use An Extra Large Condom Instead
Turn One Cigarette Upside Down And Smoke It Last. This "Lucky Cigarette" Will Prevent You From Getting Cancer
Back in the 1980s I knew someone who did this. I think his reasoning was that if you had dirty fingers you could take that one without getting the dirt on the filter, and you could pinch off the end to remove the dirt.
Don't Put Gas In Your Car, The Extra Weight Reduces Fuel Efficiency
Grab A Piping Hot Cuppa Joe At The Corner Store And Stick An Egg In It To Make A Hard Boiled Morning Snack
Instead Of Wasting Cans, Put Them To Use And Make Do-It-Yourself Cup
got scabby lips caused by the winter cold? This handy DIY scab remover is just what you need...
After reading all these tips, now I am a well-informed guy. Thanks to all the staff at Boredpanda. Send me more tips like these. They are so precious...
After reading all these tips, now I am a well-informed guy. Thanks to all the staff at Boredpanda. Send me more tips like these. They are so precious...
