Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

Family Drama Ensues When Woman Says No To Overly Strict Family’s Secret Santa
Young woman holding credit card looking frustrated by Christmas tree and gifts, family Secret Santa dropping out concept.

Woman Says No To Secret Santa With Complicated Rules, Causes Obnoxious Family Drama

34

ADVERTISEMENT

Christmas with family is a lot like unwrapping a mystery gift – you never know if you’re about to get something great or a total disaster. Sometimes, it’s a little of both: everyone’s polite enough, but some quirks push just enough buttons to keep things interesting.

Take obsessions with specific brands, perfect aesthetics, or anything “not generic” – they have a special talent for turning even simple traditions upside down. One person in today’s story brought that exact energy to a game of Secret Santa… and the result? Well, you’ll have to read on to see who really spoiled the fun.

More info: Reddit

RELATED:

    Christmas with family can be overwhelming for a variety of reasons – from simple disagreements over gifts to full-blown arguments over clashing opinions

    Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    And still, at the end of the day, all of these complications stem from people having different views on stuff – just like sisters having different opinions on Secret Santa rules in today’s story

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: myoceanstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    ADVERTISEMENT

    One sister wants everything to be with strict rules, from specific wish lists, while the other thinks it’s too much this way

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: James Yarema / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    When the first one didn’t budge, the second one decided to quit the whole thing altogether

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    She just didn’t want to deal with the rules and being called a cheapskate for not “appreciating” branded things

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: JuntheraMinvold

    That’s why her family dubbed her a Grinch, so she started worrying if her move was too much

    For the last few years, the OP’s family did Secret Santa instead of a “traditional” gift exchange, so it wouldn’t get too pricey, since 12-16 people are attending the gathering. So, usually people would get gifts like a cookbook with sticky notes, a cozy blanket, a weird local coffee sampler – you get the gist. 

    This year, the original poster’s sister took it upon herself to run the game. She made a Google Sheet with everyone’s names, a wishlist with links and options, and a hard price cap. When the author opened the wishlist, she saw family members putting various brand things, but she opted for basic stuff like an electric kettle, a nice chef’s knife, a bookstore gift card, and a warm beanie. 

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    This seemed too boring for the sister, so she asked her to include more stuff, something not as generic. But now the OP was annoyed – she doesn’t need brand things just for the logo, unbranded versions fit her just as well. That’s why she decided to quit the Secret Santa this year, explaining to the family that all the rules stressed her out. 

    But the family wasn’t having it – they started coming up with ways to keep her in the game, but she kept dodging them. So, they switched to borderline insulting her, saying she was cheapening out, “protesting Christmas,” and dubbing her a Grinch in other ways. 

    Image credits: Yunus Tuğ / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    On the one hand, the family’s stance can be understood – they all agreed to do Secret Santa so no one would be left out. While most Secret Santa events are held in schools or workplaces, where the people might not know each other as well as they do in families, that doesn’t mean it’s not applicable to families. 

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Especially when a group is as big as 12-16 people, it’s bound to be that not everyone knows each other perfectly. So, when they have to buy someone a gift during Secret Santa, they have a chance to get to know them better. 

    Not to mention the fact that by buying only one gift, they save money by not having to buy 16 of them. After all, Christmas is not cheap. Here, in the Netherlands, the average total cost per household on this occasion is $657, while in the United Kingdom it’s $1042, and in the United States $1205. Granted, the costs here depend on the income and prices in each country, but the fact that it costs a pretty penny still stands. 

    So, by doing Secret Santa with your family, you save money. Yet, if the whole thing turns into some kind of competition of brands, the whole thing kind of blows over. Christmas is about giving, a tradition that stems from the biblical story of the Three Wise Men bringing gifts to baby Jesus. Since it’s a spiritual thing, the focus on brands might seem like taking away the core meaning of it, a thing that some netizens pointed out. 

    ADVERTISEMENT

    But Christmas having a materialistic focus is not an original idea – a lot of people have been talking about it for a while now. Just like this creator, who said that “consumerism has stolen Christmas.” Do you agree with such a statement? And do you agree with the OP’s actions? Share all your thoughts in the comments!  

    Netizens told her she wasn’t in the wrong and just analyzed what could be causing the sister’s strictness with the rules

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Poll Question

    Total votes ·

    Thanks! Check out the results:

    Total votes ·
    Share on Facebook

    Explore more of these tags

    Ugnė Bulotaitė

    Ugnė Bulotaitė

    Writer, Community member

    Read more »

    I am a writer at Bored Panda. I have loved creating and writing down stories about people and things since I was little and I think this passion led me to get degrees in sociology, communication, and journalism. These degrees opened various paths for me, and I got a chance to be a volunteer in the human rights field, and also try myself out in social research and journalism areas. Besides writing, my passions include pop culture: music, movies, TV shows; literature, and board games. In fact, I have been dubbed a board games devotee by some people in my life.

    Read less »
    Ugnė Bulotaitė

    Ugnė Bulotaitė

    Writer, Community member

    I am a writer at Bored Panda. I have loved creating and writing down stories about people and things since I was little and I think this passion led me to get degrees in sociology, communication, and journalism. These degrees opened various paths for me, and I got a chance to be a volunteer in the human rights field, and also try myself out in social research and journalism areas. Besides writing, my passions include pop culture: music, movies, TV shows; literature, and board games. In fact, I have been dubbed a board games devotee by some people in my life.

    What do you think ?
    The Other Guest
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If one person opting out "ruins" the whole thing, then the whole thing wasn't very good to begin with. Why does no one tell Kate to drop the wishlist to keep the peace? Oh, right, because "keep the peace" is the polite way of saying, "Just go along with the BS because we don't want to deal with the unreasonable person's tantrum."

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ie they are spineless wimps lol me I’d be telling em straight , no bs no c**p ,n nope I do not go with oh just go with it cos it’s easier.Hell to that shite ,I’m tell you straight ,

    Load More Replies...
    Mel in Georgia
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The only time I ever remember being brand conscious was when I was a teen begging my mom to buy me Levi's and not Wrangler jeans (anybody who was a US teen in the late 70s will understand!). Now, unless it's because the brand fits me or it has qualities I can't find anywhere else, I don't care a whit about a brand or a price. I feel sorry for folks who over-pay for a label and agree with the OP that the sister is being ridiculous.

    g90814
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm glad wranglers are cheap, and they have 'flex fabric' that makes them more comfy for us fluffy people 😂

    Load More Replies...
    Apatheist
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My suggestion: stop presents when someone becomes an adult (at whatever age that is where you are). It's great for children, but once one starts work, life changes, priorities change, and different ages will have different options. Don't get presents, then no-one is ever disappointed.

    Emilu
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Christmas with gifts for adults can certainly work. Just not if you’re a brat about it like OP’s sister. We do around $30 per gift per person (Mum and her sister sometimes go a bit over for each other, but nothing drastic). It’s fun to see what you can get someone for that amount that they’d like. There’s only one kid in our family and so gifts would be a pretty boring affair if the adults didn’t anything (there are only seven of us).

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    The Other Guest
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If one person opting out "ruins" the whole thing, then the whole thing wasn't very good to begin with. Why does no one tell Kate to drop the wishlist to keep the peace? Oh, right, because "keep the peace" is the polite way of saying, "Just go along with the BS because we don't want to deal with the unreasonable person's tantrum."

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ie they are spineless wimps lol me I’d be telling em straight , no bs no c**p ,n nope I do not go with oh just go with it cos it’s easier.Hell to that shite ,I’m tell you straight ,

    Load More Replies...
    Mel in Georgia
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The only time I ever remember being brand conscious was when I was a teen begging my mom to buy me Levi's and not Wrangler jeans (anybody who was a US teen in the late 70s will understand!). Now, unless it's because the brand fits me or it has qualities I can't find anywhere else, I don't care a whit about a brand or a price. I feel sorry for folks who over-pay for a label and agree with the OP that the sister is being ridiculous.

    g90814
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm glad wranglers are cheap, and they have 'flex fabric' that makes them more comfy for us fluffy people 😂

    Load More Replies...
    Apatheist
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My suggestion: stop presents when someone becomes an adult (at whatever age that is where you are). It's great for children, but once one starts work, life changes, priorities change, and different ages will have different options. Don't get presents, then no-one is ever disappointed.

    Emilu
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Christmas with gifts for adults can certainly work. Just not if you’re a brat about it like OP’s sister. We do around $30 per gift per person (Mum and her sister sometimes go a bit over for each other, but nothing drastic). It’s fun to see what you can get someone for that amount that they’d like. There’s only one kid in our family and so gifts would be a pretty boring affair if the adults didn’t anything (there are only seven of us).

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    You May Like
    Related on Bored Panda
    Popular on Bored Panda
    Trending on Bored Panda
    Also on Bored Panda
    ADVERTISEMENT