Dealing with a sibling’s child can sometimes be a complicated matter. While you are an adult figure expected to provide some form of guidance, there are lines you can’t cross because you’re not their parent.
This was the cause of a woman’s headache when her nephew pestered her with non-stop prank calls. She sternly told him to cut it out, but it created a rift with her brother, the boy’s father.
Feeling immensely confused, she wonders if she went too far. Scroll down for the entire text.
It may not always be a good idea to scold a child, let alone someone else’s
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
A woman dealt with the constant prank calls of her nephew, causing her a great deal of distress
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
She ended up scolding the boy, but it backfired on her
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Because of the backlash, she was left confused and wondering if she had done anything wrong
Image credits: captainlux87
Being stern towards a child may do more harm than good
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Those who grew up under “old-school parenting” are way too familiar with receiving punishment. It usually came in the form of a spanking, yelling, and scolding, which the author did, all of which were accepted in the past.
However, these methods no longer work, and may have been ineffective all along. As educator and author Janet Lansbury explains, children are at an extremely sensitive and intuitive stage where they clearly sense an adult’s feelings and intentions.
That means they can tell whether a parent is being stern as an act to make a point, or out of genuine anger or annoyance. And regardless of the intention, it makes the child feel perturbed.
As Lansbury points out in an article for her website, “our overresponse gives our child’s undesirable behavior power.”
“An angry or seething parent is scary, not the confident, solid leader kids need,” she wrote.
Instead of an all-encompassing approach, Parents.com recommends using age-appropriate discipline tactics. In the story, where the author dealt with a ten-year-old child, talking things out may have been more helpful.
The woman could have taken a more grown-up approach with her nephew by emphasizing natural consequences. Instead of being stern, she could have sat him down and explained why the constant prank calls were disruptive.
Pausing and taking deep breaths can also help prevent strong reactions. As Oxford University professor Lucie Cluver tells UNICEF, five deep breaths can help adults hit the “pause button” and respond more calmly.
The author may have been used to the “old-school” method of dealing with an erring child. Unfortunately, it no longer works, and she will need to adapt.
The woman answered questions to provide more context to her story
Most readers thought she reacted accordingly
But some faulted her and the child’s father
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
Kids know and understand a hell if a lot more than most adults realize. This wasn’t just prank calling—-a prank call is a single call where someone answers and you ask them a trick question or if they could page someone named Freely, I.P. (there are other such names, that’s just the one that came to mind first)—-it was obnoxious, disruptive, repeat calls that were borderline harassment.
Load More Replies...Easy fix. Wait til your brother is doing something important with work and have everyone you know make 1 phone call to him one after the other
Yes, play him at his own game. He'll soon realise why his kids are dumbfux who don't understand when to stop.
Load More Replies...When I was a Correctional officer, those who were weapons certified and "on call" for the night had a beeper (so lame and old in the early 2000's, I know). Well, it was me this night and it kept going off. I had a list of phone #'s that would be the only ones calling that beeper and this one # kept calling that I didn't know. I finally called it back and it was a group of kids pranking! I asked for an adult and they kept hanging up, but yet kept calling. I finally told them that I was a law enforcement officer they were pranking and that I could have their # traced by the Sheriff's department. No dice. Finally they picked up and were talking to me and o asked for their parents because this beeper was strictly for work related purposes. Finally one of the last calls, an adult answered and I explained and I got "oh are they?!?" when I explained my job. Never heard from them again... Thank the gods they seemed to be good parents and understood that I could find them and I carried s big gun!
I remember the days when if a kid was causing trouble and it escalated, like in this case up to the school, then it would be the kid who would be in all sorts of sh'it from the parents, Seems like these days many parents first reaction is to blame and attack the victim of the misbehaviour rather than the children themselves.
No kidding! My parents would have been furious and I'd be in big trouble.
Load More Replies...Brother is full of sh1.t because she didn't discipline him, she just said knock it off. OP is full of sh1.t claiming she could file charges. What charges? To what end? This is beef between siblings using nephew as an excuse. And for everyone else you can ensure only approved users can facetime you, if for some reason you are using facetime for work you should know that, and if you aren't using facetime for work, just turn it off during work hours. Everyone in this story is wild.
So yes, she did "discipline" him. The definition of the word "discipline" is "to teach". Nothing whatsoever to do with punishment but a lot of people make that mistake. (They weren't the 12 punishments. They were the 12 disciples - learners, students).
Load More Replies...As a teenager I once put my little cousin in time out (accompanied by a short scolding) for biting me. When he tried to escape time out, his father backed me up 100%, put him back, and made him apologize to me. People these days seem to forget that “it takes a village” doesn’t mean to enlist a bunch of sycophants to prop your own ego up about your parenting choices.
Parents need to understand that their kids will test anyone besides them that is put in charge of their kids, for however long. That person has every right to scold and correct (within reason) your child’s bad behavior, because that scolding and correction should be reinforcing what you as parents should be teaching your children. Especially if the kids are in that person’s own home. Now I am NOT talking about yelling, slapping, and spanking, ffs. Just telling them to knock it off and saying you will be giving their parents a full report of their bad behavior at pick-up time. Then you put the ball in the parents’ court for doling out punishment (if they’re authoritative parents, as the punishment would fit the “crime”. I would NEVER set any kid up for a beating if they have authoritarian parents, as they would very likely be excessively harsh—-though I would make sure the kid knows I spared them this time and not to do it again).
Load More Replies...We often ask in M/F situations whether something would be 'acceptable' if it were the other way round - so what if an adult were continuously bombarding a a group of kids with calls ...hmmmmm.... Dear brother - neither is acceptable.
This is the parents fault. And I'm not one to normally say that. But clearly at least one of these kids feel like they don't have consequences.
Load More Replies...You teach your child to behave so other people don't feel and act on the urge to punch your child. Once your child has made it to adulthood unparented, it's only a matter of time until somebody tries to give them an attitude adjustment by readjusting their facial features. If you love your child, you don't want that.
Kids know and understand a hell if a lot more than most adults realize. This wasn’t just prank calling—-a prank call is a single call where someone answers and you ask them a trick question or if they could page someone named Freely, I.P. (there are other such names, that’s just the one that came to mind first)—-it was obnoxious, disruptive, repeat calls that were borderline harassment.
Load More Replies...Easy fix. Wait til your brother is doing something important with work and have everyone you know make 1 phone call to him one after the other
Yes, play him at his own game. He'll soon realise why his kids are dumbfux who don't understand when to stop.
Load More Replies...When I was a Correctional officer, those who were weapons certified and "on call" for the night had a beeper (so lame and old in the early 2000's, I know). Well, it was me this night and it kept going off. I had a list of phone #'s that would be the only ones calling that beeper and this one # kept calling that I didn't know. I finally called it back and it was a group of kids pranking! I asked for an adult and they kept hanging up, but yet kept calling. I finally told them that I was a law enforcement officer they were pranking and that I could have their # traced by the Sheriff's department. No dice. Finally they picked up and were talking to me and o asked for their parents because this beeper was strictly for work related purposes. Finally one of the last calls, an adult answered and I explained and I got "oh are they?!?" when I explained my job. Never heard from them again... Thank the gods they seemed to be good parents and understood that I could find them and I carried s big gun!
I remember the days when if a kid was causing trouble and it escalated, like in this case up to the school, then it would be the kid who would be in all sorts of sh'it from the parents, Seems like these days many parents first reaction is to blame and attack the victim of the misbehaviour rather than the children themselves.
No kidding! My parents would have been furious and I'd be in big trouble.
Load More Replies...Brother is full of sh1.t because she didn't discipline him, she just said knock it off. OP is full of sh1.t claiming she could file charges. What charges? To what end? This is beef between siblings using nephew as an excuse. And for everyone else you can ensure only approved users can facetime you, if for some reason you are using facetime for work you should know that, and if you aren't using facetime for work, just turn it off during work hours. Everyone in this story is wild.
So yes, she did "discipline" him. The definition of the word "discipline" is "to teach". Nothing whatsoever to do with punishment but a lot of people make that mistake. (They weren't the 12 punishments. They were the 12 disciples - learners, students).
Load More Replies...As a teenager I once put my little cousin in time out (accompanied by a short scolding) for biting me. When he tried to escape time out, his father backed me up 100%, put him back, and made him apologize to me. People these days seem to forget that “it takes a village” doesn’t mean to enlist a bunch of sycophants to prop your own ego up about your parenting choices.
Parents need to understand that their kids will test anyone besides them that is put in charge of their kids, for however long. That person has every right to scold and correct (within reason) your child’s bad behavior, because that scolding and correction should be reinforcing what you as parents should be teaching your children. Especially if the kids are in that person’s own home. Now I am NOT talking about yelling, slapping, and spanking, ffs. Just telling them to knock it off and saying you will be giving their parents a full report of their bad behavior at pick-up time. Then you put the ball in the parents’ court for doling out punishment (if they’re authoritative parents, as the punishment would fit the “crime”. I would NEVER set any kid up for a beating if they have authoritarian parents, as they would very likely be excessively harsh—-though I would make sure the kid knows I spared them this time and not to do it again).
Load More Replies...We often ask in M/F situations whether something would be 'acceptable' if it were the other way round - so what if an adult were continuously bombarding a a group of kids with calls ...hmmmmm.... Dear brother - neither is acceptable.
This is the parents fault. And I'm not one to normally say that. But clearly at least one of these kids feel like they don't have consequences.
Load More Replies...You teach your child to behave so other people don't feel and act on the urge to punch your child. Once your child has made it to adulthood unparented, it's only a matter of time until somebody tries to give them an attitude adjustment by readjusting their facial features. If you love your child, you don't want that.



































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